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THE WAY OF ESCAPE 


BOOKS BY QRAHAn TRAVERS. 


The Way of Escape. 

i2mo. Cloth, $1.50. 

Windyhaugh. 

i2mo. Cloth, $1.50. 

Mona Maclean, Medical Student. 

i2mo. Cloth, $1.00; paper, 50 cents. 

Fellow Travellers. 

i2mo. Cloth, $1.00; paper, 50 cents. 


D. APPLETON AND COMPANY, NEW YORK. 


^he Way of Escape 

0 


By 

GRAHAM TRAVERS 

(MARGARET^ TODD, M.D.) 

Author of Mona Maclean, Wlndyhaugh, etc. 


“The Moving Finger writes; and, having writ. 
Moves on ; nor all thy Piety nor Wit 
Shall lure it back to cancel half a Line, 

Nor all thy Tears wash out a Word of it.” 

J ^ 



i y ■> ■> ) 1 )) ) 


) ) 11 >) >)>)!)> )«)> 



NEW YORK 

D. APPLETON AND COMPANY 


1902 



THE LIBRARY OF 
CONGRESS, 
Two Copies Received 

JUN. n 1902 

Copyright entry 
CLASS XXc. No. 

3 / 1 . T. o 

COPY B. 


Copyright, 1902 

By D. APPLETON AND COMPANY 


All rights reserved 


i . ^ crCfc<t< 

‘ c J ‘ci c ! Published Junt, 290Z 

<(<CC‘‘C< c t i c * 

< <<<<<<<<C< <<^cc < 


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CONTENTS 


PART I 

CHAPTER PAGE 

I. Flying, flying South ! 1 

II. Sunny Provence .6 

III. The Eyes of a Witch 12 

IV. Chalice or Quassia-Bowl*? 22 

V. On the Threshold 31 

VI. Magic in the Air 36 

VII. Il Faut Partir! 41 

VIII. Waiting 47 

IX. The Night 53 

X. The Morrow 57 

XI. Sunday in Edinburgh 64 

XII. “ The Kingdoms of the World ” . . . .76 

XIII. The Parting of the Ways 86 

XIV. The Bubble breaks 92 

PART II 

XV. Six Years Later 101 

XVI. Problems Ill 

XVII. The Debating Society 120 

XVIII. The Force of a Name 127 

XIX. Death and Life 133 


PART III 

XX. A Difference of Opinion 138 

XXI. “ Who is the Potter, pray, and who the Pot ? ” 142 

XXII. The Parish Minister 150 


V 


The Way of Escape 


CHAPTER PAGE 

XXIII. The Children 156 

XXIV. A Dorcas Meeting 163 

XXV. “Not AT Home” 168 

XXVI. Taken by Storm 173 

XXVII. Snowed Up 180 

XXVIII. A Legend of Provence 188 

XXIX. Troublous Times 194 

XXX. Lady Laurie 200 

XXXI. Bluebell and Bracken 209 

XXXII. A Modern Esau 217 

XXXIII. The Raeburns at Home 220 

XXXIV. “ Mea Culpa, Mea Culpa, Mea Maxima 

Culpa ! ” 229 

XXXV. Quarantine 237 


PART IV 


XXXVI. 

St. Vincent once more 


. 244 

XXXVII. 

The Years that the Locust hath 

[ EATEN 

. 252 

XXXVIII. 

Forging New Links . 


. 263 

XXXIX. 

The Gateway of Escape . 


. 268 

XL. 

Brother and Sister . 


. 273 

XLI. 

A Great Venture 


. 281 

XLII. 

After Long Years . 


. 290 

XLIII. 

Strong White Wings 


. 301 

XLIV. 

Reaction 


. 309 

XLV. 

A Culprit 


. 316 

XL VI. 

Wrestling 


. 328 

XL VII. 

The Way of Escape . 


. 338 

XLVIII. 

In a Place of Darkness . 


. 342 

XLIX. 

Hats Off! 


. 350 

L. 

A Reprieve 


. 354 

LI. 

The Next Step .... 


. 359 

LII. 

The Last Meeting . 


. 371 

LIII. 

The Values are Changed 


. 375 

LIV. 

In Him is no Darkness at All 


. 378 


VI 


THE WAY OF ESCAPE 


PART I 

m 

CHAPTER I 

FLYING, FLYING SOUTH! 

It was a bitter December night, but the Paris-Lyon 
express was speeding gaily along in search of the flow- 
ers and the sunshine. 

The green shade had been drawn over the lamp; 
the passengers, wrapped in their furs, were sleeping or 
feigning to sleep. This night journey was a necessary 
evil, to be evaded as best it might. 

But the morning hours were well advanced before 
Giles Willoughby closed his eyes. His mood of exalta- 
tion left no room for sleep. The cup of life was brim- 
ming, and so sweet that he was loath to swallow a 
single drop untasted. Let him watch through every 
minute of the night ! He had always been something 
of a thinker, as young men go; but this first journey 
to a new land — this break in the steady progress of his 
life — gave him an opportunity of readjusting his focus, 
of looking at himself from a new point of view. 

Was there something morally enervating in the very 
atmosphere of this pleasant land of France?— or had 
the brisk salt breeze of the Channel blown away some- 
thing of the sound Scotch conviction that man at best 

1 


The Way of Escape 

is but an unprofitable servant? Giles did not care. 
It was pleasant just for once to see himself in a rosy- 
light — to compare his achievements, not with his aspira- 
tions and dreams, but with the achievements of other 
men. 

An unprofitable servant? Of course he was. But 
v/hich of his fellow-men would call him so? Ask the 
professors — what graduate, taken all round, was the 
most promising of his year? Would they not point 
at once to the man who had carried off the blue rib- 
bon — Giles Willoughby? Ask the sturdy truth-telling 
minister of that famous Free kirk. Nay, what need 
to ask him? Had he not been heard to say that men 
like young Willoughby were the salt of the university 
and the hope of the Church? Ask the fellows. Giles 
smiled at the recollection of how the Synod Hall had 
rung to the echo when the weary Principal had nerved 
his arm with fresh energy to raise the historic velvet 
cap above so brilliant a head. (Such a pleasant head 
too ! Not bald nor prematurely grey like some of the 
others, but crisp and curly and golden, a type of young 
virility.) Even the famous poet had scarcely received 
so great an ovation. There was not a single dissentient 
voice: they all liked him, the fellows; the worst of 
them at least respected his biceps. Yet he had not 
sacrificed one jot or one tittle of his duty to win their 
admiration. He had proved — if indeed in Edinburgh 
so patent a fact needed proving — that a young man may 
teach in Sunday-school and go to prayer-meeting, and 
yet be able in case of need to punch another man’s 
head. 

His face softened as he thought of the minister who 
had taught him the manliness of religion, and with 
2 


Flying, Flying South! 

the thought came a sudden uneasiness at his own frame 
of mind. A devout Romanist might have crossed him- 
self. 

Ehenezer/’ protested Giles. Hitherto hath the 
Lord helped us.’’ 

But in another moment the pleasant dream had en- 
circled him again. 

It was difficult to see how he could miss success in 
practice. Everybody liked him in the wards: it was 
a real pleasure to him to be kind. No doubt it would 
have been prudent to look out for a rich wife; but at 
least he had chosen a good wife — a woman who loved 
him. In the light that was almost darkness he drew 
from his breast pocket a leather case and smiled back 
to the girlish face. It was fair and untried, like thou- 
sands more ; but to Giles it represented the chosen one. 

“ Knowing naught of evil-doing, 

Knowing much of good, dear eyes,” 

he murmured softly. I must write her a good long 
letter to-morrow.” And he proceeded to pass in re- 
view the amusing episodes of the journey. 

With a sudden sense of space and silence the pas- 
sengers awoke to find themselves in a great gaslit sta- 
tion. A moment later a blast of icy air cut its way 
like cold steel to every vulnerable spot, and two middle- 
aged women were ushered into the compartment. They 
seemed painfully aware of the unspoken protest their 
entrance called forth, involving as it did a fundamental 
readjustment of person and property. It was Giles 
who helped them up the high step, who arranged things 
shipshape in the rack, and condensed his own tall figure 
into the smallest possible compass. It was Giles who 
3 


The Way of Escape 

offered to give up his window seat, and who smiled as if 
their arrival were a real acquisition. The cup of his 
happiness was so full that it brimmed over at a touch 
into shallower vessels. 

What pleasure there was in being kind to plain 
women ! It meant so much to them, poor souls, who 
had little to make life worth having. No wonder the 
other passengers were grumpy. They did not stand 
on a vantage ground from which past and future looked 
alike bright and sunny. 

Giles leaned back with a sigh and wondered whether 
it was safe to be so happy. 

After all he had his trials like other men. Let him 
count them up. But they cam.e like laggards to his 
call. The petty jars of happy home life had faded 
away in the haze of distance. His health? Giles 
laughed. He had broken a couple of ribs in a football 
scrimmage, and the injury had left behind a cough 
that would almost have escaped notice in a less prom- 
ising man. Don’t begin the campaign with a flaw 
in your harness,” the old doctor had said. Go off 
to the South and play yourself for a month or two. 
You’ll come back, as strong as a lion.” It was an ex- 
cuse for a winter holiday, a chance to get through some 
of that general reading ” which the professors were 
so fond of recommending. Giles had always main- 
tained that no one need go beyond Scotland in search 
of beauty, and that Edinburgh alone was sufficient to 
satisfy the most extravagant claims of culture ; but now 
the romance of sunny Provence thrilled in his veins, 
and he found himself in a mood akin to pity for those 
of his chums who had never crossed the Channel. Hith- 
erto he had done what he had planned to do, what 
4 


Flying, Flying South! 

other fellows had tried to do, and he realized for the 
first time the charm of the unexpected. 

Who could tell what mystery lay wrapped in the 
next few months? The thought was only the play- 
thing of the moment, but it served its turn; and the 
plain woman opposite smiled with motherly heart at 
the bright boyish face in the corner. 

I could trust that young man,” she thought. 

Meanwhile sleep was drawing near. 

God is good,” murmured Giles as his eyelids 
drooped. 

And if the words but roughly expressed his thought, 
he was scarcely to blame ; for who at the age of twenty- 
three shall venture to say that God is good ? 


5 


CHAPTEK II 


SUNNY PROVENCE 

The hotel stood boldly on a terrace overlooking the 
Mediterranean. Away down below the waves broke on 
rugged rocks, and for miles on either side the sunny 
coast was fringed with fantastic, weird-looking pines. 
It was a place little known to the ordinary English 
visitor. In bygone days the building had been a mon- 
astery, and the sombre dining-room, seasoned now with 
the cigars of the genial French bourgeoisie who fre- 
quented the place, had been the chapel where genera- 
tions of monks had knelt in prayer. 

Noon was already past when Giles thrust the little 
red phrase-book into his pocket and opened the glass 
door of the great verandah where the visitors sat at 
lunch. He felt as if he were going up for an oral ex- 
amination. 

Attracted by the sound of wheels the landlady came 
bustling out to receive her guest. 

Veuillez, Madame ” began Giles in some trepi- 

dation. 

Bon jour. Monsieur , said she, smiling with frank 
admiration of the sunny stalwart figure. 

Bon jour , threw in Giles apologetically. Ye%dl- 
lez ” But there he stuck fast. It is gratuitous bru- 

tality on the part of a phrase-book to make a sentence 
begin with Veuillez” 


6 


Sunny Provence 

The good landlady, however, was all smiles and tact. 
She noted the leather portmanteau on the carriage out- 
side. 

Monsieur desires a room ? ’’ she asked pleasantly. 
" U ne piecey^ she called it, and how could Giles be ex- 
pected to know what that meant? To his Scottish 
mind it suggested bread and butter. 

But great is the intuition of the French landlady. 
In ten minutes the young man’s luggage was installed 
in a comfortable room, and he himself, ensconced in a 
sunny alcove, was enjoying a dainty lunch and a bottle 
of good ordinaire. 

Before him the great blue waves came rolling stead- 
ily in, but the mistral lifted the foam from their crests, 
and chased it gaily eastward in a sunlit fountain of 
spray. A hedge of aloes stood out grey against the 
blue, and everywhere was sunshine, such sunshine as 
gladdens the heart and makes a man’s pulses leap. 

The scene on the verandah was unconventional 
enough. 

The company numbered about a dozen, but a single 
waiter kept them fairly well in hand. Although emi- 
nently good natured on the whole, the guests considered 
it only due to themselves to manifest occasional signs 
of impatience, striking their glasses with their knives, 
and calling, Gustave ! Gustave ! ” 

A brilliantly coloured parrot took up the cry. 

Gustave ! Gustave ! ” he shrieked, and laughed iron- 
ically. Then, having attracted sufficient attention, he 
sang a few bars of an operatic air, and burst into a tor- 
rent of incomprehensible argot. Dogs of varying size 
and breed wandered from table to table, claiming a 
bone, or condescending to have it thrust upon them, 
7 


The Way of Escape 

according as immediate wants and past experience had 
moulded their attitude to life in general. The smallest 
of these animals might easily have been accommodated 
in Willoughby’s coat pocket, the largest could just lay 
his black muzzle comfortably on the white cloth, while 
one chose the morsel he fancied. With the appearance 
of coffee and fruit, the meal lost its interest from the 
canine point of view, and this part of the community 
withdrew to a greater distance. Some of them brawled 
joyously among themselves, while others, relaxing their 
supple limbs, fell contentedly asleep on the warm flags 
in the sunshine. 

It was all so primitive and picturesque that Giles 
felt as if he had been transported back into the middle 
ages. 

What a letter it would make ! ” he thought ; and, 
almost annihilating two small chambermaids, who 
stood gossiping, pail in hand, on the narrow and angu- 
lar staircase, he hastened to his room and unpacked his 
writing-case while the mood was on him. 

Won’t she think herself a lucky girl ! ” he thought 
with an affectionate smile, as he fitted the closely writ- 
ten sheets into an envelope. Then he wrote a duty 
post-card” to his people at home, and, throwing him- 
self on the bed in a great shaft of sunshine, fell into 
a dreamless sleep. 

He woke to a world that was dark and chill, to a 
surging sea that had lost its note of joyousness. 

Giles groped vainly for his matches, and then hastily 
opened the door of his room. 

The narrow passage outside was furnished with a 
lamp whose main function seemed to be the deposit of 
8 


^ Sunny Provence 

soot on the low ceiling overhead, a lamp which shed 
forth dinginess rather than light, and emphasized anew 
the unevenness of wall and floor. Its feeble rays en- 
abled him to And the matches, however, and a small 
opaque-looking candle. That lighted, he stepped 
through the open window on to the balcony beyond. 

After all, the night was not absolutely dark. He 
could see the white caps rolling in; and for hundreds 
of yards from the shore the sea was churned into a 
white blanket of foam. To the right a mystery of 
pine-trees stood out black against the sky. Giles shiv- 
ered as he closed the window. What a noise the waves 
did make to be sure ! One could have enough of that 
music in time. And what a wind ! Already his little 
candle had guttered half away. He tried to remould 
the melting wax with a feeling almost of pity for the 
poor wasted thing. Then, ignoring the comfortable 
arm-chair, he seated himself on the edge of his bed in 
a mood of inexplicable dreariness. Had he been super- 
stitious, he might have called it a foreboding of evil. 
Hot a human soul within reach could speak the lan- 
guage he spoke. For the flrst time in his life, with 
a force of realization that was vivid as a lightning 
flash, he felt himself alone — absolutely cut adrift in 
space. 

To what hasty action his unaccustomed depression 
might have led it is difficult to say, for almost at that 
moment the neighbourhood resounded with the cheer- 
ful tones of the dinner-bell. It hung out of doors, that 
queer old bell, and had once called the monks to prayer, 
but Giles knew nothing of that. He grasped at the 
friendly omen. A minute before he had been out in 
the immensities, as it were ; and now, in the twinkling 
9 


The Way of Escape 

of an eye, a little door had swung ajar in the darkness, 
revealing a flood of light from a genial, commonplace 
world. What a comfort they are, those little doors! 
How they help to keep one sane ! As Giles hurriedly 
unpacked his evening shoes and immaculate coat, he ab- 
solutely forgot that the immensities were there. 

He felt rather apologetic as, some ten minutes later, 
he hurried down to the sombre vaulted dining-room, 
almost stumbling here and there over an unexpected 
step or sharply sloping piece of floor; but punctuality 
was not one of the distinguishing virtues of the guests 
at St. Vincent, and the only respect in which he found 
himself exceptional was in the fact of his having 
changed his dress for dinner. 

I don’t believe the others have even washed their 
faces,” he reflected severely, and this led him on to the 
still more censorious reflection that some of the faces 
wouldn’t wash — one especially being ‘‘ got-up ” to an 
extent that made an honest Scotchman uneasy. With 
great magnanimity, however, Giles decided that in all 
probability the lady was only French.” She was 
pretty, too, in a way, with curious golden hair, and he 
felt almost guilty of an indiscretion when he saw the 
jewelled Angers manipulate a cutlet bone with a dex- 
terity that only long practice could have bestowed. Of 
course there was serious competition among the dogs 
for the reversion of that bone, and a spoilt pug who 
got mauled in the encounter was speedily consoled by 
the breast of a partridge. 

Medisevaler and mediaevaler,” Giles said to him- 
self as the snapping and snarling waxed loud, and he 
glanced down to make sure that the floor was not strewn 
with rushes. His professional studies had left him lit- 
10 


Sunny Provence 

tie leisure for the pursuit of history, but the idea of 
rushes had gone home. 

He became less severe as the meal went on. The 
wine was good; the menu was excellent; the guests 
looked at him with friendly eyes; and — ^judging from 
the frequent peals of laughter — wit flourished like flow- 
ers in May. 

Giles was disgusted at his own gaucherie in not un- 
derstanding the jokes. Half an hour’s daily applica- 
tion for the last year would have done it,” he said ; and 
then he fell back for consolation on the inherent supe- 
riority of the British nation. 

The landlady awaited him at the door. Mon- 
sieur will go into the salon ? ” she said, smiling. 

Giles shook his head. 

Pity that no one here speaks English. I myself 
say but a few words — ^ T’ank you,’ ^ Good-night.’ But 
an English savant comes in a few days with his daugh- 
ter. Elle est gentille, n'est-ce pas, madamef et tres- 
originelle/^ 

The West-ce pas, madamef drew the young 
man’s attention for the first time to the lady at his 
elbow. It was the golden-haired heroine of the cutlet 
bone. 

Monsieur must not refuse to come into the salon,” 
she said graciously. cannot speak English, but I 
will sing to him.” 


2 


11 


CHAPTER III 


THE EYES OF A WITCH 

The truth is” continued the savant, we have had 
enough of axioms. What we want is observations.” 

Ye-es,” assented Giles vaguely. 

For surely the smallest discovery concerning the 
beetle’s wing or the palate of the snail is of more value 
than all the mediaeval calculations as to the number of 
angels who could poise on the point of a needle.” 

Oh, yes.” 

^^And how many present-day philosophisings and 
pulpit lucubrations should be relegated to the same 
limbus as the angels ! Cobweb-spinning ! Cobweb- 
spinning ! ” He laughed rather cynically. I saw a 
spider the other day choose my pipe for one of his 
points d'appui. He took that for an axiom.” The 
savant did not speak argumentatively at all. He was 
one of those people who must either give utterance to 
their actual thoughts or be silent. Look, for instance, 
at the work my friend Romanes did a few years ago on 
the jelly-fishes. I would rather have done that than 
have spun out the whole philosophy of Hegel.” 

“Really, sir? Would you indeed?” Giles broke 
forth eagerly. He felt himself on safer ground now. 
He was ignorant of the special work on the Medusce, 
but he was one of the few medical students who con- 
trive to wedge a course of Moral Philosophy into their 
12 


The Eyes of a Witch 

curriculum. It was unfortunate for the interests of 
philosophy at the moment that the course had been 
taken in Edinburgh, and not at that stronghold of 
Hegelianism — Glasgow. I confess Hegel was always 
too many for me,” he said frankly. I never could get 
beyond the Being and Hot-being business; but some of 
the fellows seemed to make something of it.” He was 
proceeding to say that, despite this disqualification, he 
had succeeded in carrying off a first-class in the subject, 
when the savant mercifully intervened. 

Did you see,” he asked with his rare smile, that 
some one the other day compared the philosophy of 
Hegel to the Emperor’s new clothes in Hans Andersen’s 
story? When all the rest are admiring the princely 
attire, it requires courage or self-conceit — not to say 
gross tactlessness — to be the first to say, ^He has got 
nothing on ! ’” 

Giles broke into a great boyish laugh of genuine 
appreciation — so genuine that the savant turned to him 
with fresh interest, as if to determine his species. 
Giles quite realized that up to this point he had been 
merely genus listener. He would gladly have followed 
up his advantage with a clever remark; but the clever 
remark did not suggest itself. 

Shall we go for a stroll ? ” said the wise man. It 
is pleasant here, but cold.” He*had been sitting on the 
low parapet of the verandah, forming, in his slouch hat 
and Inverness cape, a picturesque silhouette against the 
sea. I wonder what brought you to this quaint corner 
of the globe ? ” 

“ The merest accident. I fell into conversation with 
a man on the boat, and told him how I hated the 
idea of a big Kiviera hotel. He mentioned the place — 
13 


The Way of Escape 

said I should probably find it empty at this time of 
year.” 

So it usually is, or I should not be here. I thought 
perhaps you had been attracted by the growing reputa- 
tion of Professor BrillaPs little marine station ? ” 

No,” said Giles. He was about to add that he had 
never heard of the marine station, but decided that the 
confession was unnecessary. 

They are doing some capital work there. My 
daughter is drawing some of BrillaPs slides and prepa- 
rations for me.” 

I expect you find her quite a help in your work.” 

There was no doubt about the savant’s smile this 
time. I do, indeed.” 

“ Gentille, n^est-ce pas, et tres-originelle” thought 
Giles. A mental picture rose before him of a tall girl 
with calm, broad forehead and earnest eyes. She wore 
spectacles like her father, and she inherited his slender, 
stooping figure. Very originelle,” no doubt, from 
poor Madame’s point of view. Giles, of course, had 
lived in Edinburgh, and knew what clever women were. 

She has a gift for truth,” continued the savant 
meditatively, that is rare in either sex. She says what 
she thinks and she draws what she sees. If she ever 
does research work of her own — as I quite hope she 
may — she will not be one of those of whom Darwin 
said, ^ Ah, I never read a page of him without thinking. 
There’s five or six years’ work for anyone to see whether 
that’s true.’ ” 

" I expect she owes a great deal to her teacher, sir.” 
The picture of the tall girl in the spectacles became 
more vivid in the young man’s mind. 

The scientist seemed pleased. ‘^Ah, no doubt, no 
14 


The Eyes of a Witch 

doubt. But the world would be a fine place if all de- 
pended on the teachers.” 

It was a glorious morning. The rough country road 
was hedged with roses and tall bamboos. Beyond 
stretched fields, aglow with fiowers, to the foot of the 
tree-clad hills. 

They entered a copse of pine-trees whose branches 
formed endless elaborate settings for the turquoise of 
the sea. Giles drew a long breath. “ I expected palm- 
trees here,” he said, “ but never pines. They smell like 
home. What's that ? ” 

On a horizontal branch, swaying gently to and fro, 
sat a girl, but the quaintest figure of a girl that Giles 
had ever seen. She wore a short skirt, and a loose 
brown coat, fastened with a leathern belt. A vivid red 
tie was knotted carelessly round her neck, and a great 
untrimmed beaver hat completed her accoutrement. 

It looks,” said Giles, like a cross between a sprite 
and a buccaneer.” 

The savant smiled, well pleased. He had never at- 
tempted to reduce women to a science. Allow me,” 
he said, ‘^to introduce you to my daughter — Dr. Wil- 
loughby — Yera Carruthers. Dr. Willoughby is a friend 
of Professor Garston^s, dear.” 

The girl rose to her feet in the graceful, awkward 
fashion beseeming her years. ^^An Englishman — 
here?” she said. 

Fortunately for him,” Giles responded gallantly ; 
but she passed the compliment on. 

It is lovely, isnT it ? ” she said, looking out over 
the sea. Was she pretty? He could not make up his 
mind ; but how she would be stared at in Princes Street ! 

Glorious ! ” he assented. I can scarcely believe 
15 


The Way of Escape 

in the fogs that I left behind.” Was her hair brown 
or black? It was neither: it was dusky: and it did 
not curl; it fluffed — in great clusters about her brow 
and ears and neck. Giles had never seen hair in the 
least like it before. 

“ Have you been here long ? ” 

Yes — that is — Ho; only a few days.” 

The daughter of a savant — her father’s assistant — 
how came she by those roguish gleams in her eyes? 
Ah, the eyes were the eyes of a witch. 

The conversation jerked on for a few minutes more, 
and then Mr. Carruthers took out his watch. I am 
going to look in at the laboratory,” he said. . Do you 
care to come with me ? ” 

Giles shrugged his shoulders. ‘‘ I have been sent all 
this way to escape laboratories,” he protested ruefully. 

I will stay and play with Miss Carruthers, if she will 
let me.” 

The girl’s face was not altogether discauraging. " I 
beg to state,” she said severely, as she watched her 
father’s retreating figure, that I was engaged in medi- 
tation.” 

But Giles had not looked into those eyes for noth- 
ing. 

So now you can play with an easy mind.” He 
threw himself down on the carpet of pine-needles in a 
quiet masterful fashion, and his eyes fell involuntarily 
on her feet. He wondered how his sisters would like 
to wear such hoots. 

Of course she read his thoughts in a moment. 

Aren’t they awful ? ” she said, frankly extending one 
foot. Hygienic hoots are one of the fads I haven’t 
been able to educate Father out of. He thinks Hature 
16 


The Eyes of a Witch 

has taken so long to evolve the human foot and the 
female waist that it is a pity to tamper with them 
unnecessarily.” 

Quite right,” said Giles. 

U nnecessarily, of course,” she repeated with some 
asperity. The question is — Is it necessary ? ” 

" Not in the least.” The young man’s smile was 
almost fatherly. Quite the reverse.” . 

‘^You think so? Well, that is one man’s opinion. 
I confess I haven’t made up my mind. In any case it 
doesn’t do to be always agreeing with one’s daddy; so 
what I tell him is that Nature never meant us to wear 
boots at all. If you are going to accept a convention, 
in Heaven’s name accept the convention, and make no 
bones about it. I hate compromise. It is a shuffling 
thing — like my boots.” She held out the other foot 
this time, and laughed light-heartedly. ^^Now, don’t 
you call that a typical compromise ? ” she said. 

I don’t think it shuffles,” Giles replied reassuring- 
ly. " It seems to me admirable. I will recommend it 
to my lady patients.” 

A third person would have appreciated her smile. 

Your lady patients ! ” she said. If your Father 
means to settle £400 a year on you to start with, Mr. — 
I beg your pardon — Doctor Willoughby — ^you can af- 
ford — perhaps — to recommend this sort of thing to 
your lady patients. But don’t lay a blighted career at 
my door.” 

Yet the hoots don’t seem to interfere with your 
happiness much?” 

Don’t they? Ah, but I am — Just me, you see; 
and my daddy’s my daddy.” She paused, meditated, 
and made a fresh start. Did you ever think, Dr.‘Wil- 
17 


The Way of Escape 

loTighby, what a comfort it is that we can always shift 
our circle of happiness? Here is mine/^ She drew 
one hastily with her stick in the carpet of pine-needles. 

Now, there are the boots — a disturbing factor. Not in 
the centre of the circle, of course, but well in — like the 
three little sisters. ^Daddy,^ say I, ^remove those 
boots.^ Daddy declines. So what do I do? I take a 
new centre and draw a fresh circle, thus — ex-clu-ding 
the boots. Oh, I have left a toe in! Never mind. 
See?” 

I see,” Giles answered doubtfully. 

My poor little mother never could have done that. 
She had such lots of lovely French shoes ! That is the 
advantage of being born a generation later.” 

^‘You think we are progressing then?” 

Her smile of absolute confidence was pretty to see. 

Progressing ! she said. 

She returned to her diagram, and Giles helped her 
to obliterate the intrusive toe. 

And do you mean to do this with all the sorrows 
of life ? ” he asked. 

She nodded defiantly. Of course I do — so long 
as there is room to draw a fresh circle.” 

“ But is that quite fair ? ” Giles hesitated and went 
on bravely. Is it not cowardly ? — like playing truant 
from school? Don’t you believe in the — ^the — what 
they call the discipline of sorrow ? ” 

The discipline of sorrow ? ” She shivered. Of 
course I believe in it ; but I mean to dodge it all I can. 
Is it not the same thing as the discipline of tight shoes ? 
— a hindrance to true evolution ? ” 

« God forbid!” 

I am sure my father would say so.” 

18 


The Eyes of a Witch 

Your father is an ?” Giles dismissed various 

words — ^Utilitarian, Hedonist, Epicurean — as likely to 
give offence. 

But Vera apparently was not sensitive on the sub- 
ject. Old heathen ? Shocking. It is his one redeem- 
ing feature. So am I.” 

The meaning was not very clear, but Giles under- 
stood. 

^^Dear Dad,” continued the girl, ‘^1 am thankful 
that, with all his fads, he doesn’t believe in self-sacrifice 
and all those musty old things.” 

Giles was appalled. And yet there was something 
exhilarating in thus coming face to face with the here- 
sies which hitherto had existed for him only in the text- 
books. In this most out-of-the-way corner of the globe 
he felt that he was really tasting life. 

Just look round,” she said, at the sunshine and 
the blue sea between the pine-trees. Listen to the 
waves and the birds. Let them sinh in” . . . She 
paused. . . . ^^ And then say to yourself slowly and 
impressively, ^ The mortification of the flesh/ ” She 
shuddered. Isn’t it nasty ? ” 

The young man’s manner was cold as ice. I ought 
to apologize for the old-fashioned question,” he said; 
‘^but do you mind telling me what you take to be 
man’s chief end ? ” 

don’t mind in the least; but I never thought 
about it. Man’s chief end — man’s chief end — ^ Let us 
eat and drink, for to-morrow we die ’ ? ” 

Now you are posing.” 

She rose to her feet in real indignation. " I never 
pose,” she said. ^^Let me eat and drink of the good 
and great and beautiful ” 


19 


The Way of Escape 

That’s not fair/’ protested Giles. 

Isn’t it?” The roguish eyes laughed out from 
under the buccaneer hat. Then give me a bottle of 
claret and a dainty little ragout. It is all the same. 
Nothing comes amiss. Goodbye, Dr. Willoughby. I 
am late, I must run.” 

Giles looked rather angry. And you admit that 
you have got to die like the rest of us,” he said brutally. 

Dgh, yes. When my time comes. How horrid of 
you to remind me of it! ” She certainly looked the 
incarnation of life as she stood there in the sunlight, 
and now her red lips curved in a delicious pout. You 
said you were going to play ! ” 

But the young man was obdurate. Shall you be 
able to shift your circle then ? ” 

I don’t know. Shall you ? ” 

I don’t choose to,” he said doggedly — 

“ I would hate that death bandaged my eyes and forebore, 
And bade me creep past ! ” 

A wistful light shone for a moment in her hazel 
eyes ; but it was gone before he was sure it was there. 

Goodbye,” she repeated absently. I suppose 
you are going away to-morrow, Dr. Willoughby ? ” 

I don’t know. Why?” 

“ Oh, I don’t know. People like you always do go 
away to-morrow.” 

She hesitated, and drew a fresh design among the 
pine-needles at her feet. Are you sure my boots don’t 
shuffle, Dr. Willoughby?” she said, ‘‘or did you only 
say it to comfort me ? ” 

He laughed. “ So you have left a toe in your circle 
after all? I haven’t had a chance yet to make sure 
20 


The Eyes of a Witch 

whether they shuffle or not. Wait a moment. I am 
coming.” 

But she had sprung away with a step as light as 
a doe. 

And so it came about that Giles was flushed and 
a little out of breath when they entered the hotel to- 
gether. 

The golden-haired lady who had sung to him in the 
salon was seated in an alcove by the door, but he did 
not see her. 

Ces anglaises!” said she. 


21 


CHAPTEE IV 


CHALICE OR QUASSIA-BOWL? 

It was Christmas morning — ^the first Christmas 
Giles had ever spent away from home. 

Most of the little community had gone to mass, and 
the place was very quiet. From his bedroom window 
Giles caught sight of a brown beaver hat on the veran- 
dah below. A moment later he found Vera swinging 
to and fro under a gaily-striped awning, with a great 
sheaf of galley-slips in her hand. 

What ! ” she said. You too among the goats ? 

I don’t understand you.” 

She sighed. ^^I wish you wouldn’t pretend to be 
stupid whenever you. think me profane. Why don’t 
you say ^ Yade Satana! ’ or make the sign of the cross? 
It would be so much more picturesque. Why aren’t 
you at church ? ” 

Because there doesn’t happen to he a church within 
reach.” 

She laughed quietly. You Christians ! ” 

Don’t ! ” said Giles. Spare that word. As it 
happens, I never have gone to church on Christmas- 
day. We don’t go in much for observing days and 
seasons and months and years.” 

Don’t you ? Why not, if the day brings a gift, the 
season fiowers, the years ” — ^her face grew almost grave 
22 


Chalice or Qiiassia-Bowl ? 

— wisdom? To what particular form of schism do 
you belong, Dr. Willoughby?” 

He frowned. If it interests you at all to know it, 
I belong to the Free Church of Scotland.” 

Am I horrid ? ” 

Sometimes.” 

" Thank you. Few of us escape that distinction.” 
She turned to him suddenly with a coaxing, kitten-like 
movement, and her face broke into irresistible dimples. 

And sometimes nice ? ” 

Fairly.” 

No, no. Fairly won’t do. Sometimes very nice ? ” 

The corners of his mouth quivered. Sometimes.” 
So nice that you would like to spend Christmas 
morning with me ? ” 

Quite so. If I may.” 

Her manner changed in a moment. Well,” she 
said judicially, that depends. I leave you to decide 
whether I was not better employed before you came. I 
was thanking Heaven for my mercies.” 

He seated himself deliberately. We might do that 
together,” he said. How far had you got ? ” 

I began with my natural inheritance, and had just 
got to my parents.” 

There’s a little overlapping there, isn’t there ? ” 
The other evening at supper,” she said with ap- 
parent irrelevance, my father and a crony of his. Dr. 
Smith, were having a tremendous discussion. I always 
try very hard to understand; for of course” — she 
glanced at the " galleys ” on her lap — the only thing 
I am good for is helping my father a little bit. But it 
was hard ! In a sense I did follow 

Giles laughed, thinking of sundry similar experi- 
23 


The Way of Escape 

ences of his own. I know/^ he said with unintentional 
cruelty, as one follows the fox after a spill in which 
one’s foot has caught in the stirrup.” 

She winced almost imperceptibly, but would not 
show that she was hurt. That is the sort of thing,” 
she said, but I was in at the death. ^ In short,’ my 
father said, ^ there is a sense in which our parents are 
little more than the chalice in which the wine of our 
natural inheritance is carried over from one generation 
to another.’ Dr. Smith puckered up his grim old face. 
^ There is something too irresponsive about a chalice. 
Couldn’t you make it ? ’ ^ A quassia-bowl,’ sug- 

gested Dad. And then they both laughed a great deal, 
and agreed that the quassia-bowl had it.” 

Well you did carry off the brush that time,” said 
Giles admiringly. How like a woman ! ” he thought 
to himself. 

It was by no means every medical student in those 
days who had even heard of Weismann, but one of 
young Willoughby’s teachers had been among the first 
to misconceive the epoch-making idea. It’s all non- 
sense, you know,” said Giles ; it’s a sheer question of 
osmosis.” 

He expected osmosis ” to take her out of her depth, 
but — womanlike” — she left him in complete uncer- 
tainty as to whether it had done so or not. 

Personally, I prefer a chalice to a quassia-cup,” 
she said. ^^In fact I think a chalice is rather nice. 
You can’t eat it, of course, but you take it up between 
your sips of wine, and fondle it, and study its quaint 
tracery, and it sinks into your being just as much as 
the wine does. You see I have such a splendid chalice. 
You know my father. Well, my mother was just as 
24 


Chalice or Quassia-Bowl? 

wonderful in her way. She was an actress — a French- 
woman — so impulsive, so full of life. Don’t you think 
I am a lucky girl ? ” 

Giles stooped to pick an imaginary something from 
the floor. Actresses and Mothers — the words belonged 
to two entirely different categories of thought. 

combination like that suggests possibilities, 
doesn’t it?” she pursued. 

It does indeed.” 

And that is the one thing I ask. If life will give 
me scope. I’ll undertake to live it. Some people have 
got to be the children of a provincial parson who mar- 
ries the schoolmaster’s daughter. Isn't it awful f 

I think you are a very lucky girl to be the daughter 
and companion of a clever man like your father; but 
of course the situation has its disadvantages too.” 

She laid her right forefinger against the thumb of 
her left hand, and looked at him enquiringly. “ For 
instance ? ” she said. 

‘^Well — you hear all sorts of profound conversa- 
tions, and you get into the way of talking — as girls 
don’t talk.” 

An expression of awe came over her face, and she 
looked at him for some moments in silence. Then — 
How shocking!” she said in a low voice. She caught 
up the galley-slips to serve as a fan, and a shallow 
simper glassed over the depths of her eyes. Oh, 
Dr. Willoughby,” she cried, ^^I should so shrink from 
doing or saying anything you could possibly consider 
unladylike ! ” 

Giles frowned. " That is not how girls talk ! ” he 
protested indignantly, '^not the girls I meet at any 
rate.” 


25 


The Way of Escape 

Of course not ! ” Her hands dropped into her . 
lap, and her attitude became one of demure simplicity. 

“ The girls you meet believe that woman’s true mis- 
sion is to smooth the bed of sickness.” She tapped the 
ground with her toe, and set herself rocking defiantly. 

And the Lord deliver me from their ministrations ! ” 
she cried. 

She had carried through her little impersonations 
with so much verve and self-confidence, that Giles was 
amazed. He could well believe in that "chalice” of 
hers. " You are a witch,” he said, " you have no true 
self. It is useless to argue with you.” 

Her face fell. He had drawn blood this time. 

" Oh, don’t say that ! ” she cried. " I would rather — 
even — be told home truths. I love arguing.” 

Giles looked out over the sea, and pointed his lips 
as if to whistle. 

"You were about to say ?” she began insinu- 

atingly. 

'No answer. 

" — when I interrupted you — ? ” 

No answer. 

" — in that most unladylike fashion — ?” 

Still no answer. 

" — that I pick up a jargon I don’t understand, and 
give other people — including myself — the impression 
of a knowledge I don’t possess. Was that it? ” 

" Approximately,” he replied with the utmost sang- 
froid, " other people, including yourself 

She looked somewhat taken aback. "And this,” 
she said, " is the sort of thing we are supposed theo- 
retically to be grateful for! Well, I suppose it was 
good of you, Dr. Willoughby.” 

26 


Chalice or Quassia-Bowl? 

It was not good at all,” said Giles with a sudden 
change of feeling. I believe it was what we call in 
Scotland sheer dounricht deevilry.” 

She clapped her hands. Come, that was good of 
you,” she said. ‘ Dounricht deevilry ^ is so much 
nicer than Christian admonishments.” 

Giles took a turn up and down the verandah. 
Your chalice being such as you describe,” he said. 
May I ask how you come by the — the pietistic tags 
that embellish your conversation ? ” 

She drew herself up with offended dignity. ^VMy 
mother went to mass regularly,” she said, as if that 
were only the correct thing for one’s mother to do; 

and besides ” — she paused and sighed — three years, 
after’ she died my father made another experiment. 
He married a — a — what you, I suppose, would call a 
pietist.” 

“ It is most unlikely that I should call her any- 
thing of the kind ! ” protested Giles, but she was not 
listening. 

I have come to the conclusion,” she said with 
an air of profound wisdom, ^Hhat it is useless to ex- 
pect any man to keep his head when he is in love ; and 
if he does keep his head — so much the worse for him ! ” 

Giles did not feel disposed to follow her into these 
depths. ^^And how do you and your stepmother get 
on ? ” he asked. 

Vera shook her head ruefully. ^^Not well,” she 
confessed, and, indeed, not even badly. We don’t get 
on at all. I made an honest effort, and I believe she did 
the same; but the result only proved that some honest 
efforts are better left unmade. You see she thinks I 
corrupt the children.” 

3 


27 


The Way of Escape 

^^‘Yes” 

She leaned forward and clasped her hands. So 
I am simply waiting to see how it turns out,” she 
said quietly. It will be interesting to learn whether 
her children are an improvement on my mother’s child.” 

Giles expected to see her laugh; but she was per- 
fectly serious. 

Then you are quite content,” he said, determined 
to probe a mystery to its depths, ‘‘simply to be your 
charming self ? ” 

She shook her dusky hair lower over her brow, 
then poked herself solemnly in the chest, and made 
believe to wince. “ It’s alive,” she said in a mysterious 
whisper. It grows!” 

At that moment the door of the verandah opened 
and Mr. Carruthers appeared, looking somewhat dis- 
traught. He glanced nervously at a large additional 
table which was laid for dejeuner. “ I hear a number 
of excursionists are coming over,” he said ; “ and I 
suppose this sort of thing will go on all through the 
holidays. Vera, dear” — he hesitated — “I have seen 
such a charming little villa this morning. It stands 
in its own grounds — a mass of trees and shrubs — with 
a gate leading on to the beach. There is a nice old 
couple in charge, and the rent is extremely moderate 
at this time of year.” He paused and looked at his 
daughter almost deprecatingly. 

She slipped two white fingers into his half-closed 
hand. “Is it drefful lonesome?” she asked with a 
wistful smile. 

“ N — no,” he said doubtfully ; “ no, I think not. It 
is beautifully quiet.” 

“ That I believe.” She stified a sigh. “ All right, 
^8 


Chalice or Quassia-Bowl? 

Dad; we’ll go and see it this afternoon. Tell Dr. Wil- 
loughby he must come and cheer us up.” 

I am sure we shall be pleased to see him/’ said the 
savant absently. The first carriage-load of people had 
driven up, and as they noisily burst open the glass door, 
his face assumed an expression almost of terror. “ Tell 
Gustave to bring a cutlet to my room,” he said, and — 
and some oeufs sur le plat — I am not coming down.” 

Vera made a movement as if to follow him, and 
then changed her mind. She was looking rather for- 
lorn. You may take that as a done thing,” she said ; 
“ I shouldn’t wonder if we moved this afternoon.” 

Giles did not reply. It would have been impos- 
sible to give expression to the conflict of feelings within 
him. Perhaps he was mainly conscious of relief. 

You will come and cheer us up, won’t you ? ” Her 
lower lip trembled like a child’s. 

The pause before he answered was almost imper- 
ceptible. Of course I will,” he said cheerily, if — if 
your father does not object.” 

She moved towards the house. Oh, Dad ! ” she 
said serenely, he won’t know till the sixth time that 
you are the same person who came before.” 

That is flattering. And you ? ” 
think,” she said, looking over her shoulder se- 
dately, that I shall probably recognize you about the 
fifth time.” 

With much noise of shouts and singing, a second 
carriage drove up, and the dogs raised a chorus of 
enquiry. Nobody had explained to them that it was 
Christmas-day. Suddenly a shrill howl of pain 
drowned every other sound. The wheel of the carriage 
had gone over a pretty little King Charles. 

29 


The Way of Escape 

In three great strides Giles reached the spot, and 
raised the little sufferer with the gentle touch of the 
born surgeon. 

Bring me some old linen/^ he said to Vera — clean 
for choice.” 

“ Yes,” she answered faintly ; and shall I send 
one of the men to help you ? ” 

No, you can come yourself.” 

She shook her head : her face was very pale. I 
am not much good at these things,” she said, “but I 
will send 

“Then it is time you learned,” he interrupted im- 
periously. 

So Vera did his behest, and followed him obediently 
to the old pump in the garden. 


30 


CHAPTER V 


ON THE THRESHOLD 

Vera’s prognostication proved right. That very 
afternoon saw two modest valises placed on the box of 
the lumbering old landau, while a number of mysterious 
cases were roped on behind. 

Giles stood bareheaded in the road till the vehicle 
had passed round the corner. 

Vera had not again entreated him to call and cheer 
her up. On the contrary, she had gone off in the gayest 
spirits, apparently looking forward with keen anticipa- 
tion to her toy menage. 

After all, she is half French,” said Giles. She 
will have forgotten by to-morrow that she ever met me.” 

He turned to find the landlady’s eyes fixed on him 
sympathetically. Ce pauvre monsieur!” said she. 

Fortunately they have not gone very far.” 

Giles smiled absently in reply. will call to- 
morrow,” he said to himself, because I have prom- 
ised to call, and the next day I will go.” 

The verandah looked rather squalid when he pushed 
open the door. Gustave, behindhand with his work, 
and looking rather blear-eyed after his -Christmas 
dinner, was mournfully humming the Adeste Fideles as 
he swept the crumbs into a heap on the tiles. Per- 
haps the general dreariness was reflected in Giles’ face, 
for an old naval officer, who sat smoking his cigar on 
31 


The Way of Escape 

the parapet, good-naturedly tried to enter into con- 
versation with him. 

One need not say so before the ladies,” he said, 
^‘but she is divine, la petite anglaise — simply divine. 
She is one of the few that nature turns out at first 
hand; the rest are laborious copies.” 

A minute later Giles turned to go indoors. I will 
call to-morrow,” he said, because I promised to call, 
and the next day I will go.” 

How dark and deserted the house looked as he 
passed in out of the sunshine ! How the soul seemed to 
have gone out of it ! Giles sprang upstairs and opened 
the door of his room. 

Ah, that was better! The sun-laden air streamed 
through the casements. He went out on the balcony 
and breathed in the freshness of sea and sky. Yes, now 
he could breathe. No walls separated him from her 
now. The same sun shone on both 

What! 

Nonsense I ” said Giles scornfully. Then he 
laughed. " Little witch ! ” he murmured, how per- 
fectly ridiculous 1 ” The idea just crossed his mind 
that it might he well to go away at once — this very 
afternoon; but he dismissed it as absurd. 

I promised to call,” he said, and I will call once. 
It would be . weak to do anything else, and, besides, it 
would be unkind.” He threw himself into a chair, 
with his hands in his pockets, and began to whistle. 
A smile — a quite new smile — crept over his face, break- 
ing its way through lines that might fairly have sup- 
posed themselves permanent. Oh, yes, he meant to call 
once. It would he rather interesting to see the little 

witch again — now that — now that 

32 


On the Threshold 

Now that what? 

Oh, bother ! ” cried Giles, and, snatching up a book, 
he endeavoured to read. 

A great stillness hung over land and sea. The sun, 
from its home in the west, threw out a rosy glow be- 
hind the grim dark pine-trees. It was very lovely, that 
soft pink flush, but it deepened and burned to a red 
that was almost awful, and the night grew chill. 

So Giles stood on the threshold of the Enchanted 
Palace, enjoying its sunny exposure, and believing him- 
self proof against all its blandishments; for was he 
not armed with the triple steel of religion, loyalty, and 
common-sense? There are dangers, surely, to which 
a man of principle is not liable. 

For twenty-four hours more this little incident 
would last. To-morrow he would bring it gracefully 
to a close. Mademoiselle, the pleasure has been great. 
Adieu.” In the meantime, why not give himself up 
to the sunshine of the hour? It was something so new, 
this feeling — so different from the deliberate affection 
he felt for the girl of his choice. 

If we really weighed our pleasures and pains in 
the balance, as some profess to do, the hours that fol- 
lowed would have ranked very high in the young man’s 
life ; but at the time he was conscious only of a sense 
of incompleteness, of looking forward. When at length 
he reached the gate of the secluded villa, he was dimly 
aware that the little incident had assumed an impor- 
tance out of all proportion to its real place in his life. 

A pleasant, motherly-looking woman in a white sun- 
bonnet opened the door. 

Mademoiselle Carruthers ? ” 

33 


The Way of Escape 

Not at home/^ 

Three times Giles made her repeat the answer before 
he could take it in. Not at home? Impossible! She 
must be at home. The leading lady absent from the 
last act of the comedy? 

But I leave to-morrow,” he protested feebly. 

There was no doubt about the real regret in the 
woman’s eyes. Dommage! she said, ‘^Mademoi- 
selle went out with her father, and they won’t be back 
till late. They bring a friend to supper.” 

Giles turned to go, but the thought of that dusty 
highroad was intolerable. “ I think your garden opens 
on the beach,” he said in his broken French. “ May I 
go through that way ? ” 

“ Ah, with pleasure ! ” 

It was some relief to enter the quiet greenness of 
the garden. What an afternoon this might have been ! 
Oh, faithless Vera ! Did she not know that he would 
come? He noted a waving arbour of fresh green 
bamboos. Her gay silk cushions lay on the seat — 
one still indented with that dusky head of hers, little 
sybarite ! 

The old woman took a rusty key from ii^ nail in 
the wall and opened the door. Dommage! ” she said 
again sympathetically. 

Giles nodded and thanked her, strode a few paces 
along the rocks, and then, as he heard the key creak in 
the door behind him, threw himself down on the beach 
and supported his chin in his hands. 

For the last twenty-four hours nothing in the world 
save this meeting had existed for him, and now 

Yes; that was precisely the question — What was 
to be done now? Why had he been such a fool as to 
34 


On the Threshold 


say that he was leaving to-morrow ? And yet, of course 
he must leave to-morrow. He had made up his mind; 
and did not the difference between him and less success- 
ful men lie Just in this, that when he had made up his 
mind he set his teeth and saw the thing through ? 


35 


CHAPTER VI 


MAGIC IN THE AIR 

Like the tactful Frenchwoman she was, the femme 
de menage made no mention of Willoughby’s call till 
she found Vera alone. 

Only an hotel acquaintance,” the girl answered, 
laughing; but she turned rather white when she heard 
that Giles was to leave, the next day. She had begun 
to assume that he would remain at St. Vincent as long 
as she did, and it was not easy at first to picture the 
quiet days relieved by no more friendly sparring. Giles 
was not a very uncommon type, but he was new to her. 
She loved to shock him, and to feel that he disapproved 
of her opinions. She loved his masterfulness too — his 
quiet assumption that, in spite of her audacity, she 
would follow his lead when the crucial moment came. 
No one before had dared to tell her that her knowledge 
was superficial, and the calmness with which he had said 
it went thrilling through her anew as no flattery had 
ever done. Was it not indeed the subtlest form of 
flattery ? She wished now that she had steadily refused 
to help him with the dog. How weak she had been! 
If only they could meet once more — just long enough 
for her to make it quite, quite clear that she would not 
do the thing he wanted! — that she was free as air in 
spite of that lordly way of his. Then it is time you 
learned.” There had been no pose about the words 
36 


Magic in the Air 

at all. He had simply not realized that she might re- 
fuse. Oh, if she only had ! Yet the very memory of the 
words brought a glow over her face. 

He was such a fine fellow, too — so big and manly! 
Everybody said so. And those hands of his went about 
their work so strongly and easily ! His pious notions 
were absurdly out of date, of course ; but — as her father 
had said of some one else — he had simply had no time 
to bring his intellect to bear on these things. 

IJgh, this tiresome supper — ^this toilsome science ! 
How meaningless they had become! Was there the 
tiniest chance that Giles might come again? 

She took from her simple wardrobe, a white silk 
frock, and dressed with nervous haste. Some white 
flowers stood in a vase on the table, and, twisting them 
into a loose chain, she placed them on her head. The 
soft waves of her hair caught at them with a force that 
seemed magnetic. The twisted stems sank out of sight, 
and the flowers shone forth like jewels from their set- 
ting. Oh, if only Dr. Willoughby would come ! What a 
fool she had been to let him see her only in tom-hoy 
attire ! Surely she was pretty ? But what did her 
father care ? — or this dull old scientist who was to share 
their evening meal ? 

Slowly, slowly, the hours went by, hut no friendly 
ring at the bell came to quicken her lagging pulse. At 
last she could bear it no longer; and, well aware that 
she would not now be missed, she threw a shawl round 
her shoulders and slipped out into the garden. 

The moon was approaching the full, and the* vivid 
light almost startled her. It was difficult to feel oneself 
alone while the palms were tossing their arms in the 
air, and the sea kept calling, calling. ' 

37 


The Way of Escape 

The distance was very short from the hotel if one 
came along the beach. Was it possible that any man 
could remain contentedly in that stuffy salon, playing 
cards with the golden-haired lady? And suppose he 
came — would he find the door locked ? Perhaps he had 
already come — and gone. 

The idea had scarcely taken form in her mind be- 
fore it assumed the proportions of a disaster. All her 
life she had acted on impulse, and she acted on impulse 
now. Groping in the deep shadow, she found the key 
and fitted it into the lock. How stiff it was ! Would it 
never turn? She scarcely noticed that it bruised her 
tender hands. At last it creaked grudgingly round, and 
she dragged open the door. 

She dared not venture out, for, beyond the shade 
of the trees, the night seemed lighter than day. The 
moon was not ploughing its familiar golden path across 
the sea ; but as each wave rose to a lordly height, a 
diadem, vivid as fire, played along its crest, then fell 
in scattered jewels on the water. 

Vera stood entranced. Only the night before she 
would have run to tell her father of the marvellous 
sight, but now — ^but now she wanted to share it with 
some one else. 

Alas, she was dreaming. He would not come. And 
yet in that momentary peep she had surely caught 
sight of something. Was it the shadow of a tree? — 

or was it ? Trembling, she closed the door, and 

crept back to the arbour. 

ft 

Giles could not have told what led him along the 
beach that night. He knew the gate was locked, and 
he knew that Vera was indoors entertaining her father’s 
38 


Magic in the Air 

guest. He could see the curve of her sensitive mouth 
as she talked, and the mischievous sparkle in her eye. 

Simply divine.” It was a shocking thing to say ; and 
yet — great Jove! — how true it was I The world had 
undergone a transformation for Giles, and the relative 
values of all things were changed. He knew the old 
motives and incentives would resume their rightful 
place, but to-night — just to-night — ^they were hateful to 
him. He wanted Vera. 

He tried hard to read, but his room was a contract- 
ing chamber. He must get out. 

And, once out, was there any choice as to the di- 
rection in which he should walk ? If there had been, 
the sea would soon have put an end to all uncertain- 
ty. It seemed determined to block his way — chased, 
white and foaming, into every cranny, and danced 
defiantly over the rocks. Giles was glad to have some- 
thing to oppose. He was not going to be beaten by 
the sea. 

Presently his way led through a shave ” of pines, 
then out again into the open, but higher up this time, 
where he too could see the moon play like forked 
lightning on the crest of the waves. There was magic 
in the air to-night. 

And here — was the gate. 

It was locked of course. What a fool he had been 
not to go round the other way and simply ring the 
bell ! But he should have been an hour or two earlier 
for that. 

And now there was nothing for it but simply to turn 
and go home. He thought of those pretty cushions, 
and wondered whether they had been left out on the 
wooden seat. The door was locked, yet, since he was 
39 


The Way of Escape 

here, was there any harm in giving it a little push? 

Of course it would not yield 

^ But it did yield. 

And so they met, face to face, startled, silent. 

If they had foreseen the meeting, each might have 
been prepared with so simple an explanation, but in 
the twinkling of an eye the time for that was past. 
There was so much to explain if they once began. 

And yet, dear Heaven ! What was there to explain ? 


40 


CHAPTER VII 


IL FAUT PARTIR! 

The sunny days went on unbroken, and fields of 
hyacinth and narcissus breathed forth their sweetness 
into the air. 

The rocky deserted coast offered numberless shel- 
tered nooks where one could sit and watch the long 
waves rolling in. What a joy they were, those waves, 
each forming in turn a great translucent arc, perfect in 
form and colour, its white crest refiected in its bosom. 
Yet the joy was no less keen when the waves died down, 
and the little boat rocked invitingly at anchor. The 
woods, too, that clothed the hills were full of an in- 
finite solitude that called for hearts to feel it; and the 
world seemed very young. 

Three weeks had passed since that moonlight meet- 
ing in the garden, and the face of both boy and girl 
had gained a new meaning and comeliness. There was 
a suggestion of virility even in the slight furrow of 
pain that marked the boy’s face in repose. 

The furrow had vanished now, however, as he stood 
in the garden looking up to the bright face at the 
window. 

' ^^I can’t possibly play to-day,” Vera was saying. 

Father has gone to Toulon to hear somebody read a 
paper, Madame is marketing, and I am cooking the din- 
41 


The Way of Escape 

Her.” A spotless mob-cap and apron bore doubtful wit- 
ness to the truth of the assertion. 

Mayn’t I come and help you ? ” 

Well — I don’t know — are you competent ? ” 
Eather. I am a don at toffee, and I have toasted 
sausages in my time.” 

Can you stuff a neck of veal ? ” 

What with ? Cotton wool ? ” 

How nasty you doctors are ! ” She disappeared 
from the window, and Giles presently found her, perched 
idly on the edge of the table in the exquisite French 
kitchen. 

You seem to me,” he said gravely, to be working 
too hard.” 

Of course I can’t begin till Madame comes back ; 
but I do cook beautifully.” A very pretty flush col- 
oured her petal-like face. If you come to supper 
to-night you shall have a menu cooked all by my- 
self.” 

And what will your father say ? ” 

He’ll be delighted to see you of course, and be- 
sides ” — the flush deepened — I don't think he’ll be 
back.” 

Giles felt his heart thumping like a sledge-hammer. 
‘^Done!” he said. ^^I’ll come.” 

She sprang to her feet, clapping her hands like a 
child. " Then be off, be off ! ” she cried. You little 
know what it means to create a menu! I must forth to 
the arbour and await the divine afflatus.” 

It was afternoon — airless, dreary. 

Giles sat in his room, looking fixedly before 
him. 


42 


Il Faut Partir ! 


he muttered between his set teeth, “now, 
now is the time to turn back ” 

But, oh, dear! it was hard to turn back! All his 
life up till now had been such a poor little colourless 
thing. What had God made a beautiful bright world 
for, if He did not mean His creatures to live and enjoy? 
The woods and the sea, and the flowers and the sunshine 
— ^how good they all were ! — but what would they be 
without Vera? 

A business-like rap sounded on the door. “ Letters, 
sir ! ” said Gustave cheerfully. 

The misguided wretch spoke as if letters were a 
thing to be desired. Letters from home ! Was it pos- 
sible that one had ever counted the hours till they should 
come? 

There were two to-day. Giles shivered as he glanced 
at the handwriting, and tossed them into a drawer un- 
opened. They were not the flrst that had suffered that 
fate. 

Then again he sat down and buried his face in his 
arms. “How,” he groaned, “now is the time to turn 
back.” Of course he tried to pray; but prayer seemed 
such a rusty, obsolete weapon in conflict with this new 
foe. “ Oh, God, I have striven to live uprightly and 
honestly — why has this come upon me?” 

Did no voice come from heaven to say, ^‘Because 
thou hast striven uprightly and honestly, therefore I 
call thee to a harder flght ? ” If the voice spoke, Giles 
did not hear. He wanted Vera. 

And the time had come to give Vera up. Their 
pretty idyllic friendship must cease. What would she 
say when he broke it to her? If only he had told her 
at once that he was engaged to be married! And 
4 43 


The Way of Escape 

yet, God forgive him, how glad he was that he had 
not ! 

Of course there was another way out of the dif- 
ficulty. Giles had thought it over and over till his 
mind felt threadbare. He could break the old 
tie 

Why not? The writing-paper lay within reach of 
his hand. He had only to take up a pen and state in 
a few brief words that he had changed his mind. True, 
his last letter had been full of affectionate regard, of 
bright plans for the future; but what of that? A 
girl’s heart would be broken, of course — one more — 
the heart of a girl whom he honestly believed to be the 
ideal of a Christian man’s wife. He knew her mind 
and heart so well — ^her pretty aspiration to be a help- 
meet for her husband. 

“ Knowing naught of evil-doing, 

Knowing much of good, dear eyes.” 

Their whole social circle had been so pleased to hear 
of their engagement. He never could settle down in 
Edinburgh if he broke it off. And to settle elsewhere 
than in Edinburgh meant professional suicide. He 
was not one of the men who must laboriously build up 
an ill-paying practice. The eye of his chiefs was upon 
him; he had only to take advantage of each opportu- 
nity that was put in his way. 

It was the girl he thought of first, however. How 
she loved him ! How happy they had been in their 
long walks and talks together ! The Granton break- 
water, St. Anthony’s Well, Rest and be Thankful — 
each one was pregnant with associations, each one would 
recall her name for evermore. Happy? Yes; it was 
44 


Il Faut Partir! 


true. He had called that happiness in those days. She 
called it happiness still. 

But Vera was happy too, and what a flower on the 
tree of happiness she was ! Only seventeen, a mere 
child — her heart was opening for the first time, and she 
felt as sure of him and his love — as other girls felt of 
God. 

He had meant to lead her to God, and this was how 
it had ended. 

Ended? Would to Heaven it had ended ! The last 
chapter had still to be written, and the pen had been 
placed in his hand. Giles was still young enough to 
think that the Fates allow us to close a book and begin 
all over again. 

‘^Let me get this difiiculty over somehow,” says 
youth, ^^that I may play the game of life well”; and 
our hair is growing grey before we learn that the diffi- 
culty is the game. 

The situation was not new. Giles was quite aware 
of that. He had heard and read of it often; but who 
could ever have guessed that it would have befallen 
him? And now, whatever he might do, deny himself 
as he would, he had acted badly still. 

Well, something must be done. Hay, more, the 
right thing must be done. He had given his word, 
and from that there was no going back. He would 
keep his engagement with Vera this evening, and he 
would say goodbye. Alack! How often in the last 
fortnight he had vowed to say goodbye! Could he 
trust himself again? Would it not be better to leave 
now — an hour hence — and write what he dared not 
rely on himself to say ? 


45 


The Way of Escape 

A few minutes later he rose to ring the bell. The 
furrow on his brow was very deep, and his curly hair 
seemed almost dank. 

Demandez ma note” he said laconically. 11 faut 
partir” 

It is such a simple phi:ase; the merest tyro can 
learn it — il faut partir. 


46 


CHAPTER VIII 


WAITING 

At last everything was ready. Vera was an apt 
pupil, and she had not forgotten her mother’s little 
dinners in the olden days. Her clever fingers had 
twisted coloured paper into quaint fioral candle-shades, 
and the quiet glow of light was very grateful to the eye. 
It gave the little room an air almost of luxury, and the 
simple flowers took on a new exotic bloom. Undoubted- 
ly the table was a success. 

Of course she must wear the white silk gown Giles 
liked so well, and those starry white flowers in her hair. 
^^Ho other woman on earth could wear a wreath like 
that,” he had said. There is magnetism in those 
wavy curls of yours.” And then he had pretended that 
his fingers were caught, and that he could not get 
away. 

Ah, what happy times they had had ! And to-night 
should be the best of all. Unless her father came. 
And if he came, what then? They were not afraid. 
They had only to tell him that they loved each other. 

Oh, Giles, I do love you, I do love you ! ” Vera 
murmured softly, stretching out her beautiful arms as 
if he were near. I am so glad you love me ! ” 

She twisted the wreath more carefully than before, 
but the flowers were wayward to-day; they did not 
cling to each other like live things, and her hair 
47 


The Way of Escape 

seemed to have* lost its magnetic charm. Three times 
she adjusted the wreath, and then, fancying that 
it had lost half its freshness, she fastened the ends with 
a tiny knot of ribbon. 

Never mind: Giles would look at her face first; and 
her face was the same as ever. Nay, unless her glass 
was a gross deceiver, her face had never looked quite 
as it did to-night. Oh, you bad girl ! she cried to 
the radiant image, I did not mean you to fall in love 
for ever so long, not for ever, ever so long.” 

In sudden anxiety she sped back to the kitchen. 

“ Madame,” she cried, “ you are sure the vol-au-vent 
is all right ? ” 

Madame had never seen a vol-au-vent of greater 
promise. 

And the chestnut soup ? ” 

C'etait une puree superhe! 

Madame’s kindly face beamed. Bless their young 
hearts ! If they had not settled matters already, every- 
thing would certainly come right this evening. 

But it might be just as well if monsieur le pere did 
not come home till to-morrow. 

Five minutes past seven. Giles was late. Vera had 
never known him keep her waiting before, and she won- 
dered whether she ought to stand on her dignity when 
he came. Ah, there was a ring at the bell; she would 
put the clock back ten minutes, and pretend he was in 
time. With great self-restraint she allowed Madame 
to open the door. She seated herself in a low chair by 
the glowing logs — such a picture of radiant welcome 
as any man might have coveted. 

But it was not the step of a man that came across 
the hall. Madame entered alone, looking rather dis- 
48 


Waiting 

turbed, with a letter in her hand. " The boy from the 
hotel brought it,” she said. “ He would not wait for 
an answer.” 

Not even the ruddy light in the room could conceal 
Vera’s change of countenance. “I suppose Dr. Wil- 
loughby has been detained,” she stammered. “ Keep 
supper warm, Madame. We will wait.” 

The old woman lingered in the hope of news more 
definite, but Vera was trembling like a leaf, and dared 
not open the letter till she found herself alone. Then 
she tore it from its cover. 

dear little Vera, 

I don’t know how to tell you that I am obliged 
to leave St. Vincent at once. I have letters from home 
that make it imperative for me to go. I can’t tell you 
how it grieves me to part from you like this. We have 
had such happy times together, and have been such 
excellent chums. 

Your friend, 

Giles Willoughby.” 

It was not the first letter of its kind that has been 
written, and perhaps it was not the worst. If Giles 
had consulted a Complete Letter Writer, he might pos- 
sibly have discovered what is the right thing to say 
under the circumstances; but the situation is undeni- 
ably a difficult one, and a man must be dowered with 
something more than tact if he is to adapt himself 
gracefully to its exigencies. It is not even as if the 
recipient could regard the letter calmly, as a philo- 
sophical production, from a disinterested point of view. 
However much she may have been to blame, however 
49 


The Way of Escape 

reasonable the man’s attitude may be, the explanation 
is bound to strike her with a certain sense of inade- 
quacy — when regarded in the light of the past. The 
woman of the world, of course, will .see in a moment 
that, brief as the missive is, it might have been briefer ; 
her mind makes straight for the irreducible minimum, 
and she faces it as best she may. But poor little 
heathen Vera was only a child. Her letter was not one 
of many. It represented for the moment the whole 
mystery of life. What did it mean? Where was 
Giles f 

Without pausing for a moment to think of her dig- 
nity, she rushed out into the night. The messenger 
could not have gone very far: she must hear from 
him exactly what had happened. She knew Giles loved 
her: the idea that he could have wished to leave her 
never so much as crossed her mind. 

Madame, all on the alert, hurried from the kitchen 
to find a draught of cold air blowing through the 
house; in another moment the candle-shades might 
have been on fire. Poor little candle-shades, how gay 
they looked! Was it possible that any man alive had 
turned his back on such a welcome? 

Hastening to the hall door, she raised her quavering 
voice — Mademoiselle, mademoiselle ! ” But the moon 
smiled serenely down, and only the rustle of the palm- 
trees made answer. Frantic with anxiety, she wrapped 
herself in a shawl, and took another over her arm. 

Mademoiselle Vera ! ” she called. Madame’s husband 
was at the cabaret a mile and a half away. How he did 
waste time at that cabaret! Vera, Vera I ” 

Yet she shrieked aloud with fear when, turning sud- 
denly, she saw Vera at her elbow, looking very white 
50 


Waiting 

and strange in the moonlight. The girl did not seem 
to have heard the constant repetition of her name. 

Dr. Willoughby has been called away/^ she said. “ He 
must be in great trouble. Ho doubt I shall hear more 
to-morrow.” 

Mademoiselle will have a morsel of supper ? ” 

Ho ; but keep it warm. My father may come.” 

Returning to the sitting-room, she perused the let- 
ter once more, squeezing, as it were, every word, as if 
to extract from it a subtle meaning. She noted that 

there was no hint in it of trouble at home, no sug- 
gestion of a meeting in the future. Obliged,” im- 
perative,” but why? — why? Vera did not much be- 

lieve in obligations and imperatives. She had taken 
very kindly to Bentham’s dictum, that, if the use of 
the word ^ ought ^ be admissible at all, it ^ ought ^ to be 
banished from the vocabulary of morals.” 

Excellent chums.” So they were. But were they 
nothing more? Your friend.” Truly; but other men 
had been her friends, and between Giles and all other 
men stretched an infinity of space. As easy to traverse 
that space as to roll back the wheels of time and be a 
child again. The glory of the last few weeks threw 
her whole earlier life into a faint hazy distance. Go 
back there ? Impossible ! 

She laughed a sudden strained little laugh. How 
ridiculous to talk of going back! What would Giles 
say to that ? A thousand proofs of his love came crowd- 
ing into her mind. She thought of how they had sat 
together on the beach, his strong arm protecting her 
shoulders from the sharp points in the rock — of how 
he had lifted her high in the air that she might pluck 
the coral-pink berries from the trees — of how they had 
51 


The Way of Escape 

become as little children, only so much nicer and hap- 
pier than real children ever are ! 

Oh, if the door would open now, and he would come 
in, and take her in his arms again! How good they 
were, those arms, what a haven of rest ! 

Of course there was no thought of going back. He 
would come to-morrow, and life would begin again. 
It was the night she dreaded. How was she to live 
through the intolerable suspense and uncertainty of 
this one night? It would have been so easy for him 
to have given one tiny word of explanation, to say 
once more, I love you, Vera.^’ She knew his letter 
by heart now, but she read it yet again, in the hope 
that some word might have escaped her eager eye. 

The fire was falling low, and she shivered with a 
sudden sense of chill. Was it possible that he had 
written this letter — he — the man who out of all the 
rest of the world belonged to her ? 

In an agony of fear she threw herself on the couch, 
and the wreath fell unnoticed on the floor. 

" Giles I ” she cried aloud. Come back, come 
back ! I can not hear it’’ 


52 


CHAPTER IX 


THE NIGHT 

Ignorance of the language, Dr. Martineau pointed 
out long ago, is a great preservative against the wiles 
of German philosophy ; ignorance of the language is also 
a mighty help in the avoidance of difficult explanations. 
Many a time in the course of that afternoon Giles 
cursed the unwieldy weapon he found in the French 
tongue, but on the whole he came off better than if he 
had been in a position to make a complete explana- 
tion. He referred to his lettres (which he had not 
yet opened) and simply reiterated that he must go. 

The landlady was much concerned. Monsieur re- 
turns to England ? she asked kindly. To which Giles, 
after vainly striving to recall the future tense of savoir, 
replied darkly, Je sais demain’^ 

He managed to impress upon the coachman, how- 
ever, that he must catch that train, and the good old 
Rosinante started off at a very respectable pace, leav- 
ing the gossips in eager colloquy as to what could have 
happened. 

Was it within the bounds of possibility that la petite 
anglaise might have refused him? 

No; that was the one explanation that was not pos- 
sible. 

The drive to the station was a long one, but friendly 
officials hastened to do the bidding of this massive 
53 


The Way of Escape 

creature, the depth of whose purse was presumably in 
inverse proportion to that of his linguistic attainments ; 
and with much bustle and shouting, Giles was ushered 
into the carriage a few minutes before the train was 
timed to start. 

His fellow-passengers looked at him with interest, 
but probably not one had the faintest suspicion of the 
fever that raged in his veins. He felt as if he should 
suffocate. At length, as the faintest premonitory 
movement of the engine was felt, he lifted his heavy 
valise as if it had been a match-box, and stepped back 
on to the platform. J*ai oublie quelque chose’’ he in- 
formed a grandmotherly guard, and with that oracular 
remark he hastened up the platform, through the great 
waiting-room, and out into the open air. 

A number of heads turned to look after him. He 
is certainly mad,’’ said some one. 

And assuredly he felt mad at that moment. His 
brain throbbed as though it would burst. The folly of 
his flight seemed boundless. He had been telling him- 
self that now was the time to turn back, not realizing 
in his madness that now was already too late. 

Poor, poor little Vera, with her pretty supper cooked 
all for him ! What a heartless villain he had been ! 

One of the few that Nature turns out at first hand.” 
Yes, that she was. Men had differed over the value 
of most things, but which of them, save himself, had 
turned his back on a woman like this? To think that 
the Fates had given him one very good thing, and that 
he had thrown it churlishly back in their teeth ! 

There were other claims, of course — far-off second- 
ary claims. To-morrow, in cold blood, he could deal 
with them. To-night he cared for one thing only. He 
54 


The Night 

could have sobbed with rage against himself when he 
thought of that brutal letter. She must have got it by 
now ; and how could she guess that it contained merely 
the negative of all the things he had wanted to say? 
How had she taken it? What had she done — wild 
creature o:^ impulse as she was ? He knew she was ca- 
pable of anything in a moment of frenzy, and the 
thought of the moonlight on the waves came over him 
with a sinking of heart that was horrible. 

She had loved him so royally — him only in all her 
young life — not as girls love now-a-days, but with in- 
finite coquetry and abandon, like the heroines of old. 

If only God would keep her safe till he got back, he 
could manage the rest. 

Half-mechanically, in the course of his thoughts, he 
had tossed his valise on to the box of a fiacre, had given 
the address, and held out a piece of gold in his hand. 
They were crawling along the highroad now, crawling 
so slowly, though the driver’s whip went unceasingly 
and the horse dripped with sweat. 

Wait for me, Vera. I am coming, darling. Wait, 
wait ! ” Actually a great hot tear had fallen on his hand, 
and the lump in his throat was almost unbearable. It 
will be all right, sweetheart. Only a few minutes 
more ! ” 

At length they reached the house. Giles had to be 
reminded of the fare that lay ready in his tightly 
clenched hand; then he sped through the garden and 
into the silent house. He had forgotten the possibility 
that the Father might be at home. 

Vera’s cry of despair had just rung out — Giles, 
come back, come back! I can not bear it” She lay 
on the sofa in the ruddy light, her beautiful head like 
55 


The Way of Escape 

a drooping flower on her outstretched arms. Unwit- 
tingly Giles trod on the wreath that had fallen from her 
dusky hair. 

Vera ? ” he said. Thank God, thank God! ” 

She lifted her eyes as if from the sleep of death, 
so full of wonder, of infinite rest and content. 

Giles I ” she said. 

They were together again. That was all they knew. 
Every other thought dropped away, and left them there 
alone. 

Alas, poor Giles, with his triple steel ! 

Alas, poor little witch, what will your witchcraft 
avail you now ? 


56 


CHAPTER X 


THE MORROW 

Ah, yes, the morrow — we all know it has to come, 
with its absence of trappings and pageantry, its sense 
of anticlimax and reaction. Last night the limelight 
was thrown on one particular point in life, and all else 
lay in shadow. To-day the light is switched off, and 
our attention is claimed by a dreary stretch of sordid 
and insistent details. Before we are quite awake we 
remember the little word spoken as it were by chance, 
the act that was scarcely an act, so completely was it 
thrust on us by the great ground-swell of life. Let 
us eat and drink, for to-morrow we die ! ” Misleading 
philosophy! Let us eat and drink, but to-morrow we 
must live and assimilate the feast as best we may. The 
word that perchance we are loath to acknowledge — the 
act for which in our inmost heart we scarcely feel re- 
sponsible — has become a part of ourselves for evermore. 
We must stand by it, defend it, build the superstructure 
of life upon it. Blot out or erase it we never may. 

And therein lies the skill of the game. 

There may be something almost ludicrous about the 
morrow — from the outsider’s point of view ; but that is 
an aspect of the case that seldom appeals till later to 
the main actors in the drama. 

For the first time in a number of weeks the sun was 
obscured by clouds, and a chilly haar blew over from 
57 


The Way of Escape 

the east. Most of the guests at the hotel had retired 
to the shelter of the salon, but the golden-haired lady 
sat as usual in her alcove near the door of the veran- 
dah. She was comfortably discussing a dish of houille- 
d-baisse, when the door opened and two visitors en- 
tered. 

The elder was a well-marked type of chaperon — 
grim, lean, and business-like; the younger was equally 
typical, in a very different way, a fine, tall, breezy, fair- 
haired English girl. There was something just a little 
masculine in the half-defiant stride with which she 
traversed the verandah, but, when she spoke, her voice 
shook as if with anxiety or nervousness. 

Dr. Willoughby — was he here? 

The landlady’s gracious face stiffened into a mask 
without losing its smile of welcome. Strange rumours 
had reached her concerning the events of the night 
before, and an exhausted horse had spent the night in 
her stable; she must feel her way carefully, and not 
commit that handsome young Englishman, until she 
had found out whether this was friend or foe. 

Dr. Willoughby had left yesterday. Was he perhaps 
a friend of Mademoiselle’s? 

He was Mademoiselle’s brother. Was he well? 

Oh, very well. 

Did Madame know where he had gone ? 

With great aplomb the landlady contrived to talk 
for a minute or two without committing herself to 
an answer. To the superior English mind she gave 
the impression of being a feeble and garrulous French- 
woman, but all the time her brain was working at high 
pressure. The girl looked good and honest, but good- 
ness and honesty are awkward virtues sometimes. 

58 


The Morrow 


Madame was one of those women whose unfailing in- 
stinct it is to side with the man; and, besides, the 
girl was a stranger: poor Monsieur was an old friend. 

At last her course was taken. 

Unfortunately she did not know where Monsieur 
had gone; but he had made several friendships in the 
neighbourhood— with men of science; she. would send 
to the house of one of these and enquire. The house 
was far off, and of course the savant might not be at 
home wdien the messenger arrived. In the meantime 
Mademoiselle might assure herself that her brother was 
in excellent health. What a handsome man he was ! 
and how striking the resemblance to his sister ! Would 
the ladies not be seated and have some lunch? 

To her great relief the weary women consented 
gladly, and she retired to the bureau to discuss the 
position with her husband. The conference was soon 
joined by the naval officer and the golden-haired lady, 
both of whom, as more or less permanent residents, took 
a keen human interest in all that went on. And this 
was no ordinary matter. How rare after all in daily 
life is a real bit of scandal, that requires no invention 
nor exaggeration to help it out ! 

My own belief is,” said the landlady, that Mon- 
sieur has taken a room in the village.” 

Then say so,” advised the other lady. " After all, 
she is his sister; and he is not half a man if he cannot 
defend himself. As for la petite anglaise, she is a match 
for half-a-dozen of these gauche girls. I don’t believe 
she is only the age she pretends to be. Do you. Mon- 
sieur ? ” 

Upon which the naval officer shrugged his broad 
shoulders with an oracular smile. 

5 59 


The Way of Escape 

It was finally decided, however, by a majority of 
three to one, that, in view of the delicacy of the situa- 
tion, the landlady herself should drive to Mr. Car- 
ruthers^ villa, and enquire where Giles was to be found. 
The committee granted her full powers to deal with the 
situation as her motherly heart and savoir vivre might 
dictate, only stipulating tacitly that she should bring 
back a piquant story. 

But a considerable amount of machinery had to be 
set in motion before Madame went abroad. Within 
the precincts of the hotel she usually appeared in mufti ; 
when she issued beyond its portals she must needs be 
iiree d quatre epingles. Complexion, hair, costume had 
to undergo a radical transformation, and of course all 
this took time. 

So it came about that Miss Willoughby’s patience 
was tried before the fiacre set out; in another quarter 
of an hour it was worn to the merest shred. With 
hasty steps and unseeing eyes she explored the environs 
of the hotel, and finally returned to her chaperon in 
a state of intense nervous agitation. 

What can keep her so long ? ” she exclaimed. I 
don’t trust that woman. Let us walk up to the high- 
road, and see if her fiacre is in sight.” 

The day, though grey, had become sultry and de- 
pressing. Not a leaf stirred. At this mid-day hour 
the highroad was absolutely deserted. But looking up 
towards the hills. Miss Willoughby saw a great tweeded 
figure emerge from the wood and come striding across 
the fields. 

I believe that is Giles ! ” she cried. 

The young man looked as if he had come through a 
long campaign. He was hot and wayworn; his face 
60 


The Morrow 


seemed ten years older than when he had parted from 
his sister a few weeks before. 

‘‘Maud!’’ he said. 

Sisters have received strange welcomes before now, 
but seldom so strange a one as this. His brow posi- 
tively lowered over those frank blue eyes of which they 
had all been so proud. Then his lips thinned out to 
the merest line. “ What the dickens brings you here ? ” 

“ Giles,” she said, striving to conceal her alarm, 
what is wrong ? ” 

He kicked a clod of earth impetuously out of the 
path. Wrong? Nothing’s wrong. What on earth 
should be wrong ? ” 

“ You haven’t written. You haven’t answered our 
letters for ever so long.” 

“ And you mean to say that, because I missed a post 
or two, you have come all this way to look me up, as if 
I were a three-year-old ? You — alone ? ” 

no, not alone.” She turned to look for the 
chaperon, who was keeping discreetly in the rear. 
“ This is Miss Brown, Lulie’s new governess.” 

Ah, yes; there may be something ludicrous about 
the morrow. The irate father, the outraged mother — 
we have grown used to these in the role of avenger; 
but Miss Brown, Lulie’s new governess ! There was 
a commonplaceness — an absurdity about the matter 
that made Giles feel as if the tragedy must be a dream. 
It had always turned out to be a dream before. 

Ah! He shuddered. No, no. This was no dream. 
It was real, and it was there for ever. 

He lifted his cap with exaggerated politeness. “ I 
ought to feel honoured, I am sure,” he said bitterly. 

Trembling, Maud laid her hand on his coat-sleeve. 

61 


The Way of Escape 

Giles/^ she said, what has come to you ? Don’t you 
care about Father ? ” 

About Father?” 

^^Yes. Haven’t you had our letters?” Her voice 
broke into a sob. ^^He is dreadfully ill; the doctors 
say he may not live. We wrote and wrote, and then 
wired, but there was no answer. You must come home, 
Giles, and save him to us.” 

Wired? I got no telegram.” But, as he spoke, 
Giles remembered an insignificant grey-blue envelope 
which he had found with his letters one night at dusk, 
and had tossed into the drawer. 

You might just walk on to the inn. Miss Brown, 
and tell Madame I have met my brother. Giles, dear, 
tell me all about it. We have gone through such a 
time of strain at home, and I see that you have been 
ill too.” 

am perfectly well. When a man goes abroad, 
and knocks about, it is the act of an idiot to complain 
if his letters don’t come in with the milk every morn- 
ing. But what is it about the governor? Who have 
you called in ? — and what did they say ? ” 

He had a stroke ten days ago, and another just 
before I left.” 

The young man’s interest was thoroughly roused 
now. He poured forth a torrent of questions which 
she answered as best she might. 

What do you think ? ” she faltered at last. Is 
there any hope ? ” 

His face was very grave. I don’t know.” 

You will come home with us to-night? ” 

Of course,” he answered irritably. His brain was 
in a whirl. He was trying to think how this terrible 
62 


The Morrow 


news would affect his own affairs. I must make a 
few arrangements first. You had better go back to the 
hotel, and I will call for you in time for the night 
express.” 

He must see Vera again. That was certain. It 
would be too absurd to send another letter of farewell. 
The wolf was very real now, but unfortunately he had 
discounted the value of that excuse. No one — not even 
Vera — could have blamed him for going home to a 
dying father — ^if only he had opened those letters be- 
fore. It seemed now the merest chance that he had 
not done so — how cruel that a good man’s life should 
he at the mercy of such chances ! 


CHAPTER XI 


SUNDAY IN EDINBURGH 

It was Sunday afternoon in Edinburgh, and the 
rain was falling in torrents. Giles sat by the drawing- 
room window, looking out over the sddden, deserted 
links. He had only been at home three days, but the 
three days seemed an eternity. Already it had become 
difficult to think of his father as the busy man of affairs 
he had known so long: had he not always been the 
poor motionless invalid that lay in the bedroom below? 
The great specialist had said that there might be an 
early and fatal recurrence of the cerebral haemorrhage; 
but Giles knew better. His father would go on like 
this forever, and the rain would go on, and this black, 
gnawing depression. Giles had ceased for the moment 
to strive or cry, to weigh conflicting claims : he felt like 
one bound hand and foot, as helpless as that poor thing 
downstairs. He had gone to church that morning, 
and everyone had received him so warmly, just as if 
he were the same man who had sat in the comfortable 
family pew six weeks before. One lady had enquired 
whether he had found congenial means of grace abroad ! 
If only he could laugh — one great soul-delivering laugh 
— at the mighty joke of life ! Lots of fellows would 
take it like that. But the blood of Covenanting ances- 
tors ran in the Willoughby veins, and Giles could not 
get comfort even for a moment from the thought that it 
64 


Sunday in Edinburgh 

was a joke. Nay — he would not have owned to the 
feeling for worlds — but beyond all doubt the one thing 
that made life possible just now was this opportune 
illness of his father’s. It gave one time to reflect: it 
accounted for one’s wretchedness and gloom; and be- 
sides, the penetrating glance of those shrewd, virtuous 
eyes would have been unbearable. 

The door opened softly, as doors open in a house 
where illness has become an established thing. 

Giles, dear,” said a sisterly voice, “ the nurse says 
there is no reason at all why you should stay in this 
afternoon.” 

The young man glanced out of the window. “ I can 
well believe that she doesn’t care to go out.” 

“ Perhaps she has no such attraction as you have.” 

Giles checked the expression that rose to his lips; 
but he did not look as if the attraction was irresistible. 

His sister— a younger sister than Maud and a gen- 
tler — pretended to rearrange the books on the table. 
" It is only a step,” she said, striving to speak casually. 

You never missed a Sunday before, unless you were 
ill or away from home; and Alifce has been counting 
the days.” 

^^All right; all right. Trot along, there’s a good 
girl. Perhaps I’ll go by-and-by.” 

When the door closed, he laid his head on his arm 
with a sigh that was almost a sob. He did so want to 
be good to his sisters just now— to fulfil their expecta- 
tions of him ; and he couldn’t, he simply couldn’t. 

Alice was counting the days, and Vera was counting 
the days, and there was only one Giles. It was absurd, 
it was ridiculous, to suppose that he who sat in this 
severe family drawing-room, was the same being whQ 
.65 


The Way of Escape 

had roamed with Vera in the woods. If he could only 
cut himself in two, what a good man each would be ! 
It was not Jekyll and Hyde at all. Both would be 
good. Vera was no temptress; she was simply a child 
of nature, and his very own. How royally she had 
risen out of her own personality when he had told her 
of his father’s illness ! Why, go, dear, go,” she had 
said, almost pushing him from the room. And, when 
he was actually going, how her eyes had shone with 
unshed tears as she laid that wonderful head on his 
shoulder. Don’t have it in your mind the least little 
bit that you must hurry back,” she had said; ‘^but 
write often, often, just one tiny line to say I am safe in 
your heart.” 

Oh, now, by all the gods, what man would forsake a 
woman like that? Giles took a sheet of paper and 
began to write. 

A moment later he raised his head with a scowl. 

Giles, dear, here is Alice. She came to enquire 
after Father. She was afraid, if you went out, the rain 
might start your cough again.” 

His sister slipped out of the room, and left them 
alone together. 

“ Giles ! It is like sunshine to see you again ! ” 

It came upon Giles with a strange sense of surprise 
that Alice was still the same. He had known, of course, 
that it would be so, and yet he was surprised. The 
weeks that had brought a ferment into his life had 
left her untouched, and her stability affected him in 
a way that he had not foreseen. It carried on the tra- 
dition of the past, and swept him with it. The smooth 
brown hair, the innocent blue eyes, the sweet serenity 
of the forehead, brought back a crowd of memories that 
66 


Sunday in Edinburgh 

was overwhelming. He had forgotten how intimate, 
how real, the relation between them had been; in a 
moment it seemed to fill the room, to crowd out every- 
thing else. What could he do but take her in his arms ? 
Was she not his promised wife? For the moment, at 
least, he must drop into the old groove — ^until he had 
time to think. 

Every day Alice had rehearsed this meeting, and 
thought of all they would have to say to each other. 
She had saved up such a crowd of little experiences to 
tell him; but now they seemed to have grown so piti- 
fully small that she checked herself and stammered, 
and wondered that he did not ask her to explain this 
strange new timidity. At last the silence was so deep 
and long that she became uneasy. Giles seemed to 
have forgotten her presence, and the furrow on his brow 
alarmed her. 

“ Is there anything the matter, dear ? ” 

He roused himself with a start from a reverie. 

“Ho. What should be the matter? At least, that 
is to say, of course I am awfully cut up about the 
Pater.” 

She stroked his hand half shyly. “ Don’t try to keep 
it to yourself, dear. Share it with me.” 

He stared. His mind was so full of the real trouble 
that for a moment he thought she meant him to share 
that. 

“ I don’t know that it helps one to talk about 
things,” he said. “ Men are different from women in 
those ways, I suppose. There is nothing to he said. 
We have just got to wait — and bear,” he added, feeling 
that something more than waiting was expected of a 
Christian man. 


67 


The Way of Escape 

Do you know — I have such an odd feeling about 
you, Giles?’’ 

He looked almost frightened. ‘‘ Have you ? ” he 
said with a nervous laugh. ‘‘ What is that ? ” 

I feel as if you had grown so much older, so far 
away from poor little me. I feel as if all your medical 
studies hadn’t made you so wise as these few weeks 
you have spent abroad.” 

He laughed again with real relief. “ One has to 
give up being a boy some time, hasn’t one?” he said 
kindly. 

^^Yes, oh, yes. You have grown so manly, Giles; 
but ” — she hesitated — you were a very nice boy.” 

It was a comfort when Maud entered the room a 
few minutes later. Father seems to want something,” 
she said, and we can’t make out what it is. We think 
perhaps he wants you.” 

Giles sprang to his feet and left the room. As he 
passed the table at which he had been writing, he 
unwittingly brushed a sheet of blotting-paper on to 
the floor. Slowly and absently Alice picked it up, and 
as she returned it to its place, her eye fell on a letter 
just begun — 

My own little Vera ” 

And Alice had seen that handwriting so often before. 

When Giles reached the sick-room his father had 
sunk into an uneasy doze. The young man waited a 
quarter of an hour, but there was nothing to be done, 
so he returned to the drawing-room. Alice had gone. 
That was a relief, but he wished now that he had been 
a little kinder to her. What was he doing when she 
came? Oh, to be sure, he was writing to Vera. What 
68 


Sunday in Edinburgh 

a mercy that he had had presence of mind to cover 
up the letter! He tore the sheet across, threw it into 
the fire, and gave himself up to that mood of aimless 
drifting dreariness which most of us know too well. 

When it drew near church time, he left the house, 
but it was not towards the church that he bent his 
steps. For an hour or more he tramped about the wet 
lamplit streets, and then he felt that he could bear his 
own company no longer. But to whom should he go ? 
He was in no mood for confession or pious talk: he 
wanted something healthily human. Was there any 
chance that J ack Dalzell might be at home ? He would 
do. An honest man and a clean-minded, hut one who 
never entered a church, and who talked about Art as 
if it were a far higher thing than religion. Perhaps 
after all he had been taking a morbid view of the situa- 
tion; in any case he felt a sudden hunger for DalzelFs 
healthy pagan conversation. 

Dalzell was poor and lived up a long common 
stair.” A knot of young men were loafing in the door- 
way, and Giles, as he passed, overheard a remark that 
filled him with loathing. Here indeed was an atmos- 
phere that was not distinctively Christian. Had he 
taken the first step towards this^? 

DalzelFs room was stuffy and full of smoke, but the 
grasp of DalzelFs big hand was a thing to warm the 
heart. 

Well, by Jove I Willoughby on the Sabbath, and ” 
— he looked at an old-fashioned silver watch — before 
the kirk has skailed ! Sit down, old man, sit down. So 
you left the ninety-and-nine in the wilderness and came 
after the lost sheep? Upon my soul, iPs almost enough 
to make a man believe in a God ! ” 

69 


The Way of Escape 

He installed his visitor in a worn horse-hair arm- 
chair, and seated himself opposite. Shall we light up ? 
That’s right. I had an idea that you had forsworn the 
divine weed. I can’t talk except through a halo of 
smoke, and I mean to talk to-night.” 

That’s right. That’s what I have come for.” 

And then, of course, a long silence fell on both. 

It was Dalzell who broke it. ^‘Do you remember, 
Willoughby,” he said, some nine months ago, talking 
to me about my soul?” 

Giles winced. This was not the sort of conversation 
he had come in search of. 

^^Well?” he said drily. 

No doubt you thought at the time you had got the 
worst of the encounter; but I thought it uncommon 
plucky of you.” 

He paused, *but no encouragement to proceed came 
from the big arm-chair opposite. 

‘‘ You see — I have often chaffed you before your 
face, and behind your back, but I always knew you 
walked straight, Willoughby. That is the sort of thing 
that tells.’^ 

Dead silence. 

I thought it uncommon plucky of you, as I say ; 
but it is a nice question, this speaking to people about 
their souls. Some folks think it a liberty. Perhaps in 
my dour and hielant fashion I gave you to understand 
that I did. Well, I didn’t. I thought you were one of 
the few men in the University who were entitled to 
speak.” 

How Willoughb/s heart would have leapt at the 
words — two months ago! 

But there’s just this awkward thing about carry- 
70 


Sunday in Edinburgh 

ing the war into the enemy’s country — that you have 
got to consider how you can get out again. Wasn’t it 
Napoleon who said he saw fifty ways of entering Eng- 
land, but he didn’t see one way of getting out ? If once 
you intrude upon a man’s spiritual privacy, he is en- 
titled to make you share it for all the rest of his days. 
You’re in that big chair, are you, Willoughby? My 
landlady’s father went straight to Heaven from that 
chair; straight as a die, without a call on the way. Yes, 
there you are — at my mercy ; and there you shall remain 
till you have answered my questions. They’re brief; 
but ” — he drew a long breath, and puffed violently for 
a minute or two — by J ove, they’re pointed ! ” 

Another long silence fell on the room, and when Dal- 
zell went on, it was in a quiet narrative tone. 

It is a number of years since I took much stock 
in the miraculous. In fact, to make things clear, I may 
as well say with Carlyle, that it is as plain as mathe- 
matics that these things never happened. I don’t know 
that I believe in sin, but — I chose my forebears badly, 
and began life awry with a puritan upbringing. Well, 
the fact is I have got into a hole, and although I don’t 
believe in sin, I have been forced of late to believe in 
temptation. ^ Oh, wretched man that I am ’ — he knew 
a thing or two, Paul did. Well, what I want to hear 
from you, Willoughby, is this : Is this religion of yours 
which you tried to foist on your unworthy friend — is 
it any help against imminent temptation? Imminent, 
mind; not temptation to pride and vainglory, and the 
things you can reflect upon calmly in your arm-chair; 
but imminent — the enemy thundering at the crazy door 
and all that business. Now, on soul and conscience — 
is it any help then ? ” 


The Way of Escape 

Giles struggled vainly for a second or two against 
the huskiness of his voice. I am sure it ought to be/’ 
he said. ^ God is faithful, who will not suffer you 
to be tempted above that ye are able ; but will with the 
temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may 
be able to bear it.’ ” 

Dalzell’s lip curled. Oh, it’s all in print, right 
enough,” he said. I could have told you that. What 
I want is to see it written in some man’s blood. I am 
brutally personal, no doubt; but it was you who began 
it. Now be honest. You have not lived even to your 
age without knowing what temptation means. Did 
you find a way of escape?” 

Sometimes.” 

But when the real thing — the big thing came ? ” 

Did the man mean to sift his inmost soul? Giles 
moved uneasily in his chair, and when he spoke it was 
almost irritably. 

There are many better Christians than I am,” he 
began. 

Then the game’s up — ^that’s all I can say. If I 
have got to be a better man than you before I even 
begin to get any help — well, the offer is not good 
enough.” 

“ Don’t say that, Dalzell ! ” Giles exclaimed eagerly. 

There is — I am sure there is — a way of escape. Why 
don’t you go and talk to Dr. Grey about it ? He is so 
much wiser and better than I am.” 

Ay, no doubt ; and older and richer, and comfort- 
ably settled with a nice wife and children. I don’t 
know that his case would be any criterion for a poor 
young devil like me. It was your experience I wanted.” 

Willoughby’s heart sank within him. If only this 

n 


Sunday in Edinburgh 

conversation had occurred two months ago, how beauti- 
fully, how inspiringly, he would have spoken ! Even a 
week hence, everything might be settled somehow; but 
the occasion had arisen just in the moment when his 
tongue was tied. His nerves were sorely tried by the 
closeness of the room, and by DalzelFs extraordinary 
attack. He was half tempted to cry out in sensational 
fashion, ^^Dalzell, Dalzell — God be merciful to me a 
sinner ! ” but it seemed incredible just then that this 
was the right thing to do. He still seemed to himself 
mainly the victim of an accident which might yet be put 
right by another accident. It was not really he who 
had taken that one false step. Would it not be better 
for the sake of religion — for God’s sake — to ignore the 
slip? — to act as though it had never been? — to answer 
the question as he would have answered it two months 
ago? 

He cleared his throat. You must not mistake me, 
Dalzell,” he said. man does not boast of these 

things. I have found a way of escape once and again.” 

Dalzell laid down his pipe and looked across wist- 
fully at his companion. I don’t think I mistake you, 
lad,” he said. ^^You might have said, ^Nay, I have 
been beaten,’ in a tone that would have meant victory 
through and through. It was the ring of your voice I 
looked to. But don’t worry, lad, don’t worry. It’s just 
what I expected. I asked too much. Have a drop of 
whisky and water ? ” 

When Giles reached home, he went straight up to 
his room and flung himself on the bed. The numbness 
was gone now — driven away by a raging remorse that 
was almost more than he could bear. , 

73 


The Way of Escape 

Yes, Dalzell was right. He had been a good man 
— better than he had realized till now — when it was 
too late. One of the few fellows in the University 
who are entitled to speak.” He felt almost savage with 
Dalzell for not telling him all this before. Now it 
was past — irrevocably past as it seemed. Even Dal- 
zell, the pagan, would call him a sinner now — if not 
a cad. As he thought of the claims that two women 
had upon him, Giles tingled with a sense of shame 
that seemed as though it would drive him mad. He 
would do anything, anything, to expiate his folly. If 
only a sublime act of chivalry would put things right, 
how cheerfully he would do it ! Nay, what torture 
would he not undergo, if, by undergoing it, he could 
regain his lost estate? But there was no regaining it. 
Do what he would, the brand was there. He was still 
a sinner — a cad. He felt as if he could have risen to 
any other difficulty that life might offer, save just the 
difficulty that actually loomed before him. There was 
the strength of a giant in his sinews, and nothing for 
the giant to do. 

He opened his window and leaned out, though the 
rain was cold. How long was it possible for human 
nature to stand this torment and keep sane? 

The asylum stands on a bright and breezy 
hill ” 

What a bagatelle were the trials and temptations of 
other men ! A bitter flood of self-pity came over him at 
the thought. Would any man have held out under the 
same stress? Meeting Yera all day and every day — 
watching her sweet woman’s nature open out with a 
coquetry and seductiveness that no art could have simu- 
lated. Who hut. himself would ever know how over- 
74 


Sunday in Edinburgh 

whelming the temptation had been ? And his lips were 
sealed forever. It was not fair ! It was not fair ! He 
had been tempted above that he was able” — above 
what mankind is able to bear. 

Against Thee, Thee only, have I sinned.” Dimly 
across the ages the words came back. Giles might have 
echoed them a few minutes before. He could not echo 
them now. If he had sinned against God, God had 
failed in His word to him, suffering him to be tempted 
above that a good man is able to bear. 

Then, for the first time, a resentment against Vera 
rose in his mind. With a bitter smile he recalled that 
chalice ” of hers — her father as blind as a mole ; her 
mother — a French actress ! What would her prospects 
in life have been at the best ? Would other men — would 
Dalzell — have been slower than he had been ? 

Then the frantic remorse again, and so on round and 
round, till the winter dawn crept in on his sleepless 
eyes. 


6 


75 


CHAPTER XII 


^^THE KINGDOMS OF THE WORLD” 

Mr. Willoughby was dead. Giles was, of course, 
in the position of nearest male relative,” and, in the 
midst of his genuine sorrow, it soothed his feelings 
to find himself treated with all the respect due to the 
head of the house in circumstances of affliction. His 
mother was prostrate, and but for Maud he never 
could have got through the manifold duties of the 
time. Maud was present at the trying necessary inter- 
views that had to be faced, she remembered who were 
the people who ought to have special intimation of 
their loss, she knew just what to say in the notice to 
the Times and to the Scotsman, and it was under her 
auspices that dressmakers had been stealthily coming 
and going for days past. There were so many details to 
arrange that the moment for serious refiection went by 
almost unnoticed. Everything in these days is done to 
prevent our realizing the simple fact of death. 

Under grey February skies the coffin had been low- 
ered into the ground. A great concourse of people had 
assembled, and many had been the references to young 
Willoughby’s God-fearing life, to his upright and hon- 
ourable conduct, to the prop and stay his mother and 
sisters would henceforth find in him. Then the mourn- 
ers had been boxed into the grim carriages again, and 
76 


“The Kingdoms of the World” 


a few had returned to the house for the reading of 
the will. 

Giles did not follow the document very closely. He 
had never known what it was to be in more than mo- 
mentary need of money. He received a vague general 
impression that his father placed him in a position of 
responsibility and importance ; and that was all. 

But the lawyer detained him when the others left 
the room. I would like to explain at once. Dr. Wil- 
loughby,” he said, that I am afraid affairs won’t turn 
out as well as they look on paper. Some of the invest- 
ments are very doubtful indeed. However, you have 
had a first-rate education, and that is a fortune in it- 
self.” 

Giles nodded absently. Oh, I have no doubt it 
will be all right,” he said. His mind was too full 
of other cares to make room for this one, and he felt 
that he ought to be downstairs, fulfilling the manifold 
duties that devolved upon him. 

A tall grey-haired man was awaiting him in the hall. 

I must hurry off to a consultation, Giles,” he said 
kindly; but I want to have a good talk with you about 
the future. Come round to-morrow evening and eat a 
slice of mutton with me quietly. My wife is confined 
to her room. I want to hear all about your plans. Life 
is going to be a serious business for you now.” 

Thank you very much, sir. I will.” 

Giles would fain have refused. There are many 
Edinburghs, and the Edinburgh of which Professor 
Harrington was a representative seemed insufferable to 
the young man just then. Besides, he was in no mood 
for a confidential conversation with a man so much 
older than himself. The gulf of the years had never 
77 


The Way of Escape 

yawned so widely for him as now. And this man had 
some sort of right to be frank and personal. He was 
Alice’s uncle, and Giles had been one of his favourite 
students at the University. However, there was no use 
postponing what had to come, and five minutes before 
the dinner-bell rang the following evening. Professor 
Harrington’s butler was ushering young Willoughby, 
with unusual ceremony, into his master’s consulting- 
room. 

It was one of those Edinburgh houses that have 
success ” written all over them. It contained few 
heirlooms, but everything in it seemed well fitted to 
go down to posterity. Dark oak and heavy bronzes, 
deep-piled carpets, and chairs such as in those days 
one seldom saw — every detail attracted the eye till the 
professor entered the room; then the house and all its 
trappings became merely a well-chosen setting for the 
large urbanity of his presence. 

^^Ah, Willoughby, welcome.” 

There y^as a change in the professor’s bearing too. 
He seemed to have laid aside the dominie, and there 
was a suggestion of camaraderie in his manner that the 
young man found subtly flattering. The lengthy and 
doctrinal grace before meat ” recalled former days 
rather forcibly; but under the gracious influence of the 
soup and the professor’s old sherry, that impression 
soon passed away. Giles drew a deep breath. He need 
not have dreaded this interview after all. In the teeth of 
his expectations, he was finding here what he had vainly 
sought in Dalzell’s eyrie. He had got out of the region 
of categorical imperatives into a world where the edges 
of things were just a little blurred — pleasantly blurred. 
After all one need not be always sifting things to their 
78 


“The Kingdoms of the World” 

foundations, always ascertaining one’s precise latitude 
and longitude on the chart of life. Why not drift at 
ease now and then when the sun shone, and the waves 
rippled softly about the keel? Why not be content to 
forget ? 

Dessert was on the table before the conversation 
turned to anything more serious than idle chit-chat. 

And now, Giles, I am all eagerness to know what 
the next move is going to be.” 

Thanks to the steadying influence of the wine, the 
young man answered lightly : “ Oh, a few more posts, 
I suppose, and then the brass-plate business.” 

A few more posts ? Why, how many have you 
had?” 

Only two — Medicine and Surgery. I want to 
do Eyes and Throats and Insanity. Fevers, per- 
haps.” 

The professor moved his glass that the mellow light 
might fall on his tawny port. “ And what is your spe- 
cialty going to be ? ” 

I don’t know. Surgery, I suppose.” 

Surgery is a big word now-a-days, and it grows 
bigger every day.” 

Oh, of course ; but I should be content with small 
beginnings.” 

I don’t mean that. The successful man of the fu- 
ture must narrow’ his range, and perfect himself in 
that.” 

^^What about Fordyce?” 

The last of his race. Edinburgh will never know 
another like him.” The professor raised his glass al- 
most caressingly to his lips. And that is as it should 
he. He is a curious relic of mediaevalism. If public 
79 


The Way of Escape 

opinion had not been too strong even for him, he would 
still be cutting off limbs with red-hot knives, and stop- 
ping the bleeding with boiling pitch/’ 

Giles laughed. I know. He says antiseptics are 
all rot. Do you know what he did the other day?” 
— and the conversation branched off into technicali- 
ties. 

There is something sublime about him all the 
same,” the young man said at last. I mean,” he added 
hastily, finding that the remark was not received with 
effusion, “ it’s not every fellow who could carry it off 
as he does.” 

The professor cleared his throat, and made a slight 
inclination of the head. “ To return to the point, how- 
ever,” he said, don’t you think your plan is rather a 
fancy one — involving a frittering of energies? The 
man who does all the correct things is apt to prove dis- 
appointing in practice. Why not settle down to a spe- 
cialty at once? ” 

Ho, no ! ” Giles protested hastily. I am not 
fit,” he added more slowly. ^^You don’t know what 
an ignoramus I am, sir.” 

The professor nodded approvingly. It is right that 
you should think so, of course,” he said. Then, after 
a pause, Have you had any conversation with Al- 
pine about your — ^your father’s affairs ? ” 

Ho — yes — that is to say, he told me some of the 
investments were rather doubtful.” 

‘^1 am afraid doubtful’ is rather a mild word. 
And you must not forget that you are now the head of 
your family. You have a mother and three sisters de- 
pendent on you, all of whom have been brought up in 
comfort — I might almost say, in luxury.” 

80 


“The Kingdoms of the World” 


Giles glanced round the harmonious shadows of the 
room, and brought his eyes back to the radiant circle of 
light. ^^No, no, sir, not luxury,” he said. 

I might almost say in luxury,” repeated the pro- 
fessor. “ I had a talk with M^Alpine this afternoon, 
and I fear at the best your mother will have to nar- 
row her expenses materially. We must consider seri- 
ously what is the best thing to do in the interests of 
all four.” 

Giles laughed. I am afraid Maud won’t ask our 
advice,” he said. She would like nothing better 
than to earn her own living. She loves teaching, 
and will take her certificate at Shandwick Place in 
April ” 

“ Tut, tut, tut. I fear Maud is inclined to be a 
strong-minded young woman, Giles. You must assert 
your authority if need be. While you have a pair of 
capable hands you would not have your sister earn- 
ing a wage in the open market ? ” 

No, sir, of course not,” said Giles, realizing for 
the first time that there was a principle involved in the 
matter. 

I am well aware, of course, that some gentle- 
women are forced to such extremities, poor things ; but 
that is the more reason why the bread should not be 
taken out of their mouths by those who can be provided 
for by their male relatives. Maud is a nice girl, a nice 
girl. She will be all right in a few years, but what she 
wants is to find her master. If it can be arranged, we 
must make it possible for your sisters to marry well. 
A woman’s function is matrimony.” 

^^No doubt; but I am afraid for the next year or 
two it will take me all my time to support myself.” 

81 


The Way of Escape 

That depends on the use you make of your oppor- 
tunities. Shall we move into the library? I have a 
brand of cigars I should like you to try.” 

A quarter of an hour had passed, and a delicious 
aroma pervaded the room before the conversation was 
resumed. 

The fact is, Giles, I am growing an old man. My 
hand is not so steady as it was. Your father’s death 
should remind us forcibly of the uncertainty of life. I 
have neither chick nor child, and I confess the wish 
nearest my heart is to see you and Alice prosperous and 
happy, taking up our work — my wife’s and mine — and 
following in our steps. My wife tells me Alice has a 
genuine love for evangelistic work — such quiet, unob- 
trusive work as beseems a woman, and that she is ac- 
quiring a real gift for leading in prayer — at Bible- 
classes and working-parties. As regards myself, Giles, 
I have no hesitation in saying that you are the one of 
all my students whom I would choose to carry on my 
work.” 

It’s awfully good of you, I am sure, sir ; but ” 

You have a keen brain and a steady hand. I may 
say without flattery that you have the right manner, 
pleasant and gracious, with just that touch of authority 
that is so useful — especially in dealing with the other 
sex.” 

But, sir, it never crossed my mind 

The professor held up his hand. ‘‘ You have always 
been exemplary in the discharge of your religious duties. 
In short, Giles, you realized long ago that you are a 
sinner who has nothing to look to but Christ for his 
salvation.” 

Giles wondered how it was possible that he had ever 
82 


“The Kingdoms of the World” 


considered such sudden turns in the conversation a 
desirable and fitting thing. 

“ But, sir, it never crossed my mind to go in for 
your specialty.” 

The professor smiled blandly. “ Then suppose you 
let it cross your mind now. My practice increases daily. 
It is — in the providence of God — a lucrative practice. 
Already I am compelled to pass on cases to some one. 
In fact I may say in confidence, Willoughby, that there 
are not many men in the country who could offer you 
such an opening. But I want to see you settled at 
once — that is to say, as soon as would be fitting after 
your poor father’s death.” 

The tinkle of an upstairs bell sounded faintly 
through the house. 

The professor started and looked at the clock. 

“ Why, bless me, I am forgetting prayers. J ust 
touch the bell, Giles. We will have the servants in 
here.” 

With the air of one to whom the proceeding has 
become mechanical, the butler wheeled a table up to 
his master’s chair, and carefully arranged on it several 
handsome, well-worn tomes, while an elderly woman 
placed a few chairs for the servants near the door. 

Then there fell on the group a preliminary silence 
that was almost awful in its dreariness. 

Slowly the professor turned the pages of the good 
book. Then he cleared his voice and began — 

^ Blessed is the man that walTceth not in the coun- 
sel of the ungodly, nor standeth in the way of sinners, 
nor sitteth in the seat of the scornful. 

‘ But his delight is in the law of the Lord; and 
in his law doth he meditate day and night. 

83 


The Way of Escape 

^ And he shall he lihe a tree planted hy the rivers 
of water, that hringeth forth his fruit in his season; his 
leaf also shall not wither; and whatsoever he doeth shall 
prosper. 

‘ The ungodly are not so, hut are like the chaff 
which the wind driveth away. 

‘ Therefore the ungodly shall not stand in the 
judgment, nor sinners in the congregation of the right- 
eous. 

‘ For the Lord hnoweth the way of the righteous; 
hut the way of the ungodly shall perish’ ” 

The reader dropped a few words of commentary as 
he went along, and then engaged in prayer. When the 
servants were dismissed, he took the young man by the 
hand. 

“ So that is settled, is it, my boy ? ” he said. 

It’s awfully good of you, I’m sure, sir,” stammered 
Giles. I never dreamt of such a piece of luck. But 
— what with my father’s death and one thing and an- 
other — I would like just to go home and think it all 
over. I can’t tell you how much obliged I am.” 

The professor saw that his point was gained. That 
is only wise and right,” he said kindly. Good-night, 
Giles. God bless you ! ” 

Giles almost sprang down the steps into the cold 
night air. He had got away at last, and he had com- 
mitted himself to nothing, thank Heaven ! He was still 
free as air. But what an offer it was, if only 

Ah, that if only.” It rubbed against a bit of his 
mind that was galled and raw. Well, at least he had 
gained time to think. Who knew after all but Yera 
might forget him — little butterfly ! If nothing came of 
their — their friendship — what was she the worse — ^wild 
84 


c 


“The Kingdoms of the World” 

creature of impulse, untamed child of nature that she 
was ! Ay, from her own point of view, what was she 
the worse ? But even as the graceless, audacious 
thought formed itself in his mind, Giles knew that 
from his point of view she had passed over the line — 
had become a different being for ever and ever — a 

“ reed which grows nevermore again 

As a reed with the reeds in the river.” 

Then, with a sudden revulsion, there rushed over 
his mind a sense of the emptiness, the worthlessness of 
his life here, a longing to chuck it all ” — ^to cast aside 
this atmosphere of respectability and prayer, of con- 
ventionality — “hypocrisy,” he called it — to return to 
the Bohemian days on the Riviera, alone with Vera. 

“ He was no fool,” said Giles, “ who talked of a 
world well lost for love.” 


85 


CHAPTER XIII 


THE PARTING OF THE WAYS 

Lulie, dear, just run upstairs and knock at Giles’ 
door. Tell him his breakfast will be cold, and remind 
him that Mr. Alpine is to he here at ten.” 

The child hesitated. He’ll be so cross,” she said. 

Very well ; I’ll go myself.” 

With the best intentions in the world, Maud was 
acting the part of a blister to her brother at this time 
— a useful remedy, no doubt, in its proper sphere, but 
scarcely conducive to the healing of a raw surface. 

Oh, do give him a few minutes more,” pleaded 
Edith. I expect he has slept badly again.” 

Maud glanced at the clock. He must come down,” 
she said, ‘^whether he has slept badly or not. How 
odd that he should have taken to sleeping badly ! Do 
you remember we used to say he would need an assist- 
ant to do the night-work, because his patients would 
never be able to rouse him ? ” 

Poor Giles ; he has felt this trouble so.” Edith’s 
eyes filled with tears. 

Would that make him irritable ? He is so changed 
since he came back. Surely he can’t be so foolish as 
to worry because we shall be poorer than we have been.” 
Then her face clouded. There is a letter from Alice 
for him this morning.” 

A few minutes later Giles entered the room. He 
86 


The Parting of the Ways 

rubbed his hands cheerfully, and, in brotherly fashion, 
tweaked Lulie by the ear in a gallant attempt to be his 
old self. Then his eye fell on the uppermost of the let- 
ters that lay by his plate, and the cloud on his brow set- 
tled down more heavily than ever. He was playing with 
an untasted breakfast when the man of business arrived. 

There was nothing dramatic about the family af- 
fairs — nothing that is not happening to widows and 
orphans every day. They must move into a small 
house : Lulie must give up her private governess and go 
to a cheap but excellent school : there would be no mar- 
gin for holidays, nor amusements, nor pretty frocks ; as 
for Giles — Whatever money is spent on setting you 
up in practice, doctor, may be looked upon as a safe in- 
vestment ; but it will have to be drawn from capital, of 
course.” 

^^Ye-es,” said Giles slowly. ‘^Well, it is possible 
that I may not need to take it. I have not had time 
to think over my own affairs.” 

I am sorry to hear so poor an account of Mrs. Wil- 
loughby.” 

She is dreadfully cut up,” said Giles. I am just 
going in to see her now.” 

To his surprise he found his mother sitting up in 
bed. She held out her arms with a little cry. My 
dear boy,” she said, ''I have just been thinking how 
ungrateful I am.” 

He seated himself on the edge of the bed, and put 
his arm round her rather awkwardly. The Willoughbys 
as a family had never been given to caresses, and he 
was surprised and touched when she leaned back on his 
arm with a little sigh of content. 

I had not realized what a support God has raised 
87 


The Way of Escape 

up to me in you. . I have just had a note from Professor 
Harrington.” 

Giles bit his lip. Harrington is awfully kind, of 
course,” he said; ^^but I don’t know why you should 
assume that I could not make my way without him.” 

Of course you could ! Do you think I don’t know 
that? What I did not realize was that you are a man 
of standing now — that your way is madej^ 

Oh, as a question of time ” 

That’s just it. You see, dear, there is no use in 
ignoring the fact that for your sisters time is every- 
thing. For the little while I shall be here nothing 
greatly matters to me ; I can put up with any hardships ; 
but if your sisters once drop out — ! You know how it 
has been with other girls we know, and you would like 
your father’s daughters to have a fair chance. Maud 
and Edith are just at the age when it would be such 
a pity for them to break oft any ties they may be 
forming.” 

Yes.” 

But all fear of that is over now, thank God ! You 
know I am not a worldly woman, but some one must 
think of these things, and you have taken such a load 
from my mind.” 

A few minutes later Giles kissed his mother on the 
forehead and left the room. It was a relief to think 
that there was something heroic in his attitude after 
all — that his sisters would never know what he had 
given up for them. 

And then at last he opened his fiancee's letter. 

Alice always wrote a neat and formal hand, but this 
was obviously a revise ” ; it looked like a page from 
a prize copy-book. 


88 


The Parting of the Ways 

“My dear Giles, 

have not wished to trouble you in the midst 
of all you have been going through; but I cannot help 
feeling that I shall really lessen your trouble by what 
I am going to say. It is, that I set you quite, quite 
free from your engagement to me. It is not your 
fault if you have met some one prettier, or cleverer, or 
nicer than I am. I hope you will be very happy, and 
you must not fret about me. We are both in God’s 
hands still. Alice.” 

However good a woman may be, she is apt to give 
such a letter a touching little note of finality which 
does not truly refiect her frame of mind. But Giles was 
too inexperienced to know this. At a first cursory pe- 
rusal the letter seemed to him a wonder of modesty 
and self-restraint and silent martyrdom. Alice was 
no coquette, and Alice was giving him up; — his splen- 
did act of renunciation was rendered null and void. The 
support on which his mother was counting was a broken 
reed; his sisters — well, his sisters would soon have for 
their nearest male relative a struggling young doctor, 
with a wife of his own to support. So long as Professor 
Harrington’s offer seemed forced upon him, Giles had 
deemed it an easy thing to carve his own way ; but now 
that Fate had taken him, so to speak, at his word, he 
began to reckon chances more sanely, to remember how 
long the very best men in the profession had often been 
obliged to wait. He would succeed, no doubt ; but what 
if by that time his mother lay quiet in her grave, and 
Edith was worn and pinched, and Maud self-assertive 
and hard, and Lulie roughened and cheapened by inter- 
course with girls of a lower class than her own ? 

89 


The Way of Escape 

And, above all, there was Alice. What had hap- 
pened to her? He had always taken her worship as 
a matter of course. The merest suggestion of uncer- 
tainty gave it a value it had lacked hitherto. What- 
ever happened he must get to the bottom of this mys- 
tery. What could Alice have heard? If she was pre- 
pared to give him up — why, then, his course was clear; 
but somehow the thought made her more precious in 
his eyes. In any case he must hear what she had 
to say. 

He had grown used to white, tear-stained faces of 
late, but, even so, Alice took him by surprise. To 
think that self-contained little Alice could look like 
this! On the impulse of the moment he took her in 
his arms. '^Why, child, what is the matter?” 

It was too much. The hot tears welled up, and 
there, in his arms, she sobbed out her pitiful little 
story. 

And here at last was the ultimate — the final — part- 
ing of the ways. 

Giles thought of his sisters, of his weak fragile 
mother, of the sobbing girl in his arms; and then of 
Vera — far, far away — in a world of sunshine and laugh- 
ter. Whatever happened, Vera would fall on her feet. 
He had known Alice all his life ; she represented to him 
goodness, respectability, success, family duty — every- 
thing that his world held good. Vera had on her side 
a few wild, irresponsible weeks. Above all, Vera was 
absent — off somewhere in fairyland. Alice was here, 
crying out — sobbing in his arms — for an answer. 

Alice, Alice ! ” he cried, why didn’t you tell me 
at once? Silly sweetheart! To think that my little 
saint should be Jealous! Why, Vera was a child, a 
90 


The Parting of the Ways 

mere child — staying with her father at the hotel. I 
used to play with her.” 

He threw his whole weight into the lie, and it 
served its turn. Alice was reassured. 

Was she reassured? Hot really. She felt his heart 
thumping as if it would burst, and she raised her head 
in time to see an unaccustomed tremor about the mus- 
cles of his mouth. Vera was a child, no doubt, yet 
perhaps not quite a child 

Alas ! there was a traitor in the camp. Alice loved 
too dearly to give him up. No other woman in the 
world could feel towards him as she did — least of all 
the chance acquaintance of a few weeks. If Vera was 
a child, she would soon forget; and as for Giles, Alice 
would be so tender when she got him all to herself that 
he could not but love her — her only. 

And so their first difference was made up. 

That night Giles read his fiancee's letter again, 
before putting it in the fire — read it slowly and care- 
fully, as he might, perhaps with advantage, have read 
it at first. — ^^We are both in God’s hands still.” 

Yes, God would have taken care of Alice if he had 
forsaken her; but it was difficult to think of Vera in 
relation to God. The Creator could not be angry 
with her. No, no; not with a creature of impulse like 
that. Was He angry with the dragon-flies that dart 
and flash in the sunshine? It almost seemed to Giles 
as if Vera was a being with whom God had no concern. 

And then — the wonderful eyes, with their mock- 
ing lights and infinite depths, rose on the darkness, as 
he had seen them that night — that night ! 


7 


91 


CHAPTER XIV 


THE BUBBLE BREAKS 

Ah, Monsieur will never take Mademoiselle back 
to the grey north at this time of year. The snow would 
kill her. She is growing thin and she coughs.” 

Mr. Carruthers nodded absently without replying. 
The words scarcely penetrated to his consciousness. 
He and Vera happened to be lunching at the hotel that 
day, and the landlady had been struck by the change 
in the girl’s appearance. 

Ten minutes later, however, Mr. Carruthers’ atten- 
tion really was roused. Vera had turned her head to 
follow the course of a man-of-war on the horizon, and 
— just at a certain angle — her father noticed a change 
in the contour of her face. The cheek-bone was a trifle 
more prominent than it had been, and below it there 
was a slight concavity in the petal-like curve. The 
effect was singularly fine; trifling as was the actual 
change, it lent her face an air of pensiveness and intel- 
lectuality that appealed to him strongly; but at her 
age it was premature. 

How did you catch cold, Vera ? ” he asked abruptly. 

She started and flushed. I don’t know that I did 
catch cold, Dad. It’s nothing. I shall be all right in 
a day or two.” 

He looked perplexed. March is a bad time of year 

d2 


The Bubble Breaks 


to go north” he said; “but I don’t see that we can 
help 

Of course we can^t, dear.” 

Even he noticed that the cheerfulness in her voice 
was forced, and the cloud on his brow deepened. I 
might leave you behind, of course ; but I don’t see who 
I could send to be with you.” 

Why, Dad, however could you get along without 
me to bully you ? ” 

I would rather do that than have you ill.” He did 
not add that the constant differences of opinion be- 
tween Vera and her stepmother made his life at home 
less reposeful than it might have been. “ It is the 
difficulty of a chaperon I am thinking about.” 

A great hope rose in Vera’s heart, lending a new 
brightness to eye and voice. “ Darling,” she said 
caressingly, "for an emancipated man you are curi- 
ously conventional. What harm could come to me for 
a few weeks? Why not leave me under Madame’s 
chaperonage ? She would certainly look after my body, 
and I don’t mind undertaking my own mind.” 

It was so long before he answered that she felt un- 
certain as to whether her suggestion had " got in.” 

" Well,” he said reluctantly at last, " after all, it is 
only for a month or two. You are sure you would not 
mind being alone ? ” The question as to whether he 
could trust her never so much as crossed his mind. 
Trust Vera! 

"Mind? I should love it. That is to say — of 
course I shall miss you horribly; but — it is very weak 
and foolish of me — but I do dread the snow this year — 
the snow, and — other things.” 

A horrible fear seized her that she was going to cry, 
93 


The Way of Escape 

and she strangled a great sob in her throat. It would 
never do — ^here by daylight, with her father’s eyes upon 
her — to begin to think of all the things she dreaded. 
There was plenty of time for that at night when the 
house was still. But if only he would go away and leave 
her to think things out and pull herself together, all 
might yet be well. It was worth fortunes — untold for- 
tunes — to be allowed to stay, to escape her stepmother’s 
scrutiny, and feel herself alone among strangers. For- 
tunes ? Why, Giles might come any day, and then how 
laughable this nightmare would seem! Of course he 
would come. She sprang to her feet, the gay Vera of 
former days, and her father saw for the first time how 
forced had been her mood of late. What a child of 
the sun she is,” he thought. “ To think she should have 
dreaded going north so much as this, and without say- 
ing a word.” 

And so it was arranged that Vera should be left 
behind. From this time forward,” her father said, 
I will see that your income is paid direct to you every 
quarter. It was your dear mother’s wish that you 
should have it in your own hands from the time you 
left school. At present you will have no difficulty in 
keeping within the limits of your £200 a-year. You 
will be sensible about it, won’t you ? ” 

Vera nodded slowly. There was a great seriousness 
in her eyes. 

‘^No one knows so well as I what reserves of 
strength there are in my little girl. I do trust you 
absolutely, Vera.” 

She smiled brightly back, but dared not put a loving 
hand in his, as was her custom in moments of great 
94 


The Bubble Breaks 


feeling. The touch might betray too much. She won- 
dered how it was he did not hear the frantic beating 
of her heart. 

And so a day came when Mr. Carruthers went away, 
leaving his daughter alone among strangers. Vera had 
gone with him to the station, and on her return, without 
entering the hotel, had, strolled along the beach, deter- 
mined to face the situation. 

It was one of those glorious days that are made for 
happy people, or for those who have learned some- 
thing of 

“ the soothing thoughts that spring 

Out of human suffering.” 

There was little wind on shore, but the great waves 
rolled in, long, calm, irresistible, each in turn forming 
a palace of beauty, a green translucent shell, perfect in 
form and colour. Again and again it seemed as if a 
thing so beautiful must not die; but there was always 
a new one to take its place, as lovely as the last. Nay, 
lovelier than the last, for little by little the eye was 
trained to see a new glow, a new curve, a new colour. 
It was almost more than Vera could bear. What was 
the good of it all? What was the use of beauty when 
there were only two eyes to see it? The sense of in- 
completeness, of heart-hunger, came over her with a 
force that made her white and faint. 

Giles! Giles r’ 

There was no danger in trusting his name to the 
winds. The noise of the waves drowned all other 
sounds, and no one visited this lonely coast save the 
patrol who had already gone by. It seemed to Vera 
as if Giles must hear that cry — as if nothing on all the 
earth could have power to stand against its overwhelm- 
95 


The Way of Escape 

ing force. Had it not left her weak and trembling, 
spent as though she had been cast up on those rocks 
after long and weary buffeting with the waves ? 

It was nearly two months now since Giles had gone. 
She unlocked the satchel she always wore, and drew 
from its inner pocket a bundle of letters. One of these 
— the first — was almost falling to pieces. It was a 
love-letter so impassioned that it satisfied even her — 
one of those rare letters that make a woman feel she 
could not have written a better herself. After that 
came tidings of a father’s death-struggle — of death; of 
course he could not write much of love just then; and 
this was followed by news of poverty, of great per- 
plexity, of a mother and sisters dependent on Giles for 
support. And then — there had been but one letter 
more. 

At first Vera had kept her own personality reso- 
lutely in the background — had striven to think only of 
how these sad events affected him; but little by little 
her letters had become more urgent. Giles,” she had 
v/ritten at last, I cannot live without you. My heart 
holds out such empty arms. I have money enough for 
us both. Come back. Love me.” And to that had 
come an answer that she could not understand. It was 
full of affection — of love; it spoke of her as the one 
woman in all the world ; but there was much said too of 
self-sacrifice — of the claims of duty; there was a ring 
of farewell in every line. 

The rest was silence. 

He must be waiting till he could come and answer 
with a kiss. All sorts of things might have happened 
to detain him at the last; but he would come and take 
her in his arms again, and then this weary heart would 
96 


The Bubble Breaks 

stop shattering the frail walls that held it in— this 
weary brain would sleep. Two tears, hot as molten 
lead, rose in her eyes. “ Oh, if I could but sleep,” she 
said, just for one little night, as I used to sleep night 
after night all my life, without knowing that I had any- 
thing to be grateful for ! ” 

Then a great dread came over her. I mustn’t go 
mad,” she said in a whisper, hoarse and voiceless — 
'^not mad. I am afraid I shall miss Dad dreadfully 
after all. It was his little wants and demands that 
kept me sane. I will begin those drawings he wants at 
once; and perhaps — perhaps there is somebody at the 
hotel I can be kind to.” 

She was escaping to her room that evening as usual 
after dinner when the landlady met her at the door. 

Mademoiselle will go to the salon,” she said persua^ 
sively. They want some one to cheer them up.” 

Perhaps she saw that it was Vera who wanted cheer- 
ing up. One does meet these fine plants of courtesy on 
a somewhat arid soil. 

Merci, Madame” the girl was answering in her 
lofty manner; then suddenly she turned, hesitated, 
smiled, and passed into the salon without a word. The 
action was simplicity itself, but the grace of it went 
straight to the woman’s heart. Vera had found a 
friend. 

She played cards for an hour or two with a testy old 
lady, and then went upstairs. How am I to face an- 
other night ? ” she said with haunted eyes ; but soon 
after her head was on the pillow, sleep fell on her like 
summer rain, and her poor parched being floated out 
and was at rest. 

It was well that she got that little breathing space, 
97 


The Way of Escape 

for there is a limit to human endurance, and the crisis 
was at hand. Some English people came over to lunch 
next day from a neighbouring town, and were so 
charmed with the situation of the hotel that they re- 
solved to remain for a night or two. A sociable spirit 
prevailed in the salon that evening, and in the course 
of conversation it transpired that the newcomers came 
from Edinburgh. 

Edinburgh? Did they know one Dr. Willoughby? 

Yera was seated in a low chair in a corner, appar- 
ently reading The Queen. With a last flash of resolu- 
tion she said to herself — Faint if you like, but don’t 
stir.” 

Oh, yes, indeed. Dr. Willoughby was one of the 
rising men. He had just gone into partnership with a 
distinguished professor. The professor had no children, 
and Dr. Willoughby was to marry his favourite niece in 
a month or two. His career was made. 

At that moment the naval officer stepped violently 
on the paw of the great retriever who lay asleep in the 
middle of the room. A table was knocked over, and 
the contents of somebody’s work-basket went reeling 
over the floor. When Yera felt herself coming back 
out of the blackness, the officer’s broad back separated 
her from the rest of the room. He was apologizing pro- 
fusely for his awkwardness. Feebly Yera drew The 
Queen towards her and turned a page. 

She slept again that night, slept because she had 
no thoughts nor feelings to keep her awake. Her 
brain seemed a kindred thing to the pillow on which 
it lay. 

She woke with that awful sense of oppression — that 
consciousness of an unknown something wrapt in the 
98 


The Bubble Breaks 


mists ahead. She had parted from it when she fell 
asleep last night. What was it? 

Lie still. No need to go and meet it. It will come. 
Its step is slow, but steady and sure as time and fate. 
It is coming. The mists are growing thin — 

We have all lain and waited for it as Vera did. 
Sometimes it is a mere nothing, a trifling worry, the 
aura of a strain relaxed; sometimes it is the remem- 
brance of the dear dead thing lying swathed and still 
in the room adjoining ours. 

But for Vera it was the worst thing of all. 

An hour later she got up and opened her volets. 
The crisp morning air made her cough. She could hear 
voices on the verandah below. 

How she coughs ! ” said the landlady sympa- 
thetically. She will die now, poor little thing. She 
might have got over her cold, but there’s nought like a 
broken heart for speeding one’s way to the grave.” 

True,” said the golden-haired lady philosophically, 
and at her age hearts really do break. She’s young 
and she’s pretty — to be beaten in life so soon.” 

Vera started back as if she had been stabbed. She 
turned to the shabby pier-glass and drew herself up with 
a gesture that was superb. Never before had she 
seemed to herself so fair a thing. 

Beaten she said, I? How dare they?” She 
watched the lines of her face harden into a steely 
mask. Then she walked very slowly back to the 
window. 

The sun shone down in a golden haze ; great yellow 
clusters of mimosa ^tood out from the blue of the sea ; 
two or t£ree little boats drifted idly to and fro; and 
the parrot hopped gaily about, as though he quite real- 
L.ofC. 99 


The Way of Escape 

ized that the scarlet in his plumage was the dominant 
note in the glorious chord of colour. 

But Vera saw none of these things. In a hideous 
flash of realism she caught sight of her future — as those 
women saw it. 

Presently she spoke in a low suppressed voice. 
Life/^ she said, you are hard and bitter and cruel, 
and I hate you. But I won’t be beaten, do you hear? 
I won’t ! I won’t ! So help me God! ” 

Where the prayer came from she never knew. Per- 
haps it was only an echo from some story she had read. 
It seemed to surge through the room, carrying her 
before it like a leaf before the wind — So help me 
God!’* 


100 


PAET II 


CHAPTER XV 

SIX YEARS LATER 

The actual scene is dreary enough — a poorly fur- 
nished room in Ixelles, that somewhat squalid and 
shabby suburb of gay little Brussels. A cheap lamp 
stands on the table, and a shade has been improvised 
to cast as much light as possible on the^books and papers 
that are strewn about. The window is open to let out 
the fumes of the coke stove, and one hears all too plain- 
ly the noises of the street, dominated at present by the 
solicitations of the man who is selling roasted chest- 
nuts just below. 

But the sole occupant of the room — a studious, 
dogged-looking young woman in a well-worn dressing- 
gown — is aware of none of these things. Her mind has 
taken flight, leaving behind it an unresponsive, almost 
forbidding, mask. She pictures herself seated, half- 
hidden by palms, in the quiet corner of a brilliantly 
lighted suite of rooms. The scent of hothouse flowers 
is in the air, and everything speaks of luxury and wealth 
unlimited. What gowns, what jewels, what animation 
and brilliant talk! How slowly, softly, the orchestra 
begins to breathe; one scarcely knows the actual mo- 
ment when its silence passed into sound; but it is 
swelling steadily with the repressed strength of a giant 
101 


The Way of Escape 

until the whole house throbs with the glorious life of it. 
'Now it falls again, lower, lower; there is silence in the 
room, and an impressive person at the door announces — 

^^Mademoiselle de Matharel.” 

The hostess — that handsome, portly lady in velvet 
and diamonds — receives the newcomer kindly if with- 
out empressement ; but now everyone turns to look ! 

And well they may, for here is a real woman, ring- 
ing fresh and true from Nature’s mint. The solitary 
student can vouch that there is not an artifice nor a 
trick about that woman anywhere; and she ought to 
know, for did she not watch the swift twist of that 
magical knot of dusky hair, did she not help to fasten 
that simple, wonderful gown? Even in the midst of 
all this wealth the gown seems wonderful — shimmer- 
ing into light, shading into rose that finds new depth 
of expression in the fine bass note of those dark-red 
roses. The student gives a second glance to make sure 
that the roses are not too dark; they looked almost 
black this afternoon when she bought them in the 
Montague de la Cour, sacrificing in a glad moment of 
impulse two sorely-needed new pairs of gloves. No, 
they are perfect. The brilliant light brings out every 
shade of colour — 

Ah, that elderly man with the grand manner and 
the order on his breast wants to be introduced. Trust 
him to know a woman when he sees her! He will take 
her down to supper by-and-by. Or will she perhaps by 
that time have made acquaintance with the grey-haired 
professor, who looks a little out of it ” at present, hut 
who will soon find a woman who knows something of 
his subject — who knows something, and who seems to 
know a good deal more? 


102 


) 


Six Years Later 


^^Vera, Vera, Vera!’^ cried the lonely student. 

How I hate you ! ” 

With a mighty effort she brought her eyes back from 
infinity, and focussed them on her books. 

It was far into the night when the door opened, and, 
with a great breath of vitality. Mademoiselle de Ma- 
tharel came in. Her hair was a little tossed, her great 
eyes sparkling. 

"How sweet of you to sit up for me!” she cried. 
" I am longing so for some one to talk to, and oh, 
dear, how hungry I am ! Yes, make some cocoa, do ! 
Chestnuts? How lovely! No, let me roast them.” 

" Another triumph, no doubt ? ” said the other 
frigidly. 

Vera took the roses from her breast, raised them 
tenderly to her lips for a moment, and plunged them 
into a basin of water. 

" It was the roses that did it then,” she said. " But 
yes; it has all been perfectly, perfectly lovely.” 

" And now poor little Cinderella comes back to her 
kitchen. No, don’t sit on that. I will fetch half-a- 
dozen cushions from your room.” 

When she returned, her companion was looking al- 
most pensive. 

" I wish you had been there,” she said. 

"Truly?” with a quick eager glance. 

" Most truly.” 

"I wonder why?” 

Vera drew down her brows in reflection. " Well,” 
she said, " when I am so very happy I usually begin to 
wonder afterwards whether I have not made a fool of 
myself.” 

" I see. And I could have reassured you ? ” 

103 


The Way of Escape 

Vera nodded absently. 

The student’s face fell. For a moment she looked at 
her companion expectantly, then her expression slowly 
changed to that of a philosopher who finds compensa- 
tion for many rebuffs in a dispassionate study of human 
nature. 

Well, for sheer artless, brutal self -absorption ” 

she said to herself. She almost hoped Vera would sur- 
prise her critical glance, and demand an explanation; 
but there seemed no chance of that, so she returned de- 
fiantly to her books. 

The silence was not long. 

Miss J ohnston,” said a soft, deprecating voice 
from the shadows. 

^^Yes?” harshly. 

By her own showing, Mademoiselle de Matharel was 
twenty-three, but she looked a mere child curled up 
among the cushions — a little heap of chestnut-shells 
by her side. Tell me — did I look rather nice ? ” 

^^Yes.” 

Almost — very nice?” 

am too tired and too cross to find adjectives 
strong enough.” 

^^You — you don’t think they only did it out of 
pity?” 

Did what out of pity ? — Who ? ” 

Everybody.” 

Miss Johnston shut her book with a bang, and 
stooped to kiss her friend with a sudden irresistible 
impulse. What a chameleon you are ! ” she said. 
^VDo you remember how you kept me at arm’s-length 
only last week ? ” 

Vera looked half startled for a moment as if the 
104 


Six Years Later 


words contained a warning, and when she spoke again 
it was with less perfect abandon. ^^Last week/^ she 
said, “ has no existence for me/^ 

And next week ? 

Vera shivered. Oh, don’t ! ” she said. Next 
week has still less. Have you not found out my genus 
yet ? — Ephemera.” 

The other nodded several times rather bitterly. 

So you say, so you say,” she said ; but what would 
you think if I said so ? How you surprised those people 
to-night when they found a ring of real humanity be- 
hind those diaphanous folds ! And by-and-by, when you 
grew suddenly serious, and the deep tone crept into 
your voice, and the mystery into your eyes — oh, I know 
you, I know you ! — they saw that you too, child as you 
are, had lived.” 

Vera’s great eyes , were fixed. The child-look had 
gone completely. She seemed suddenly to have grown 
up. Ay,” she said. We do live — we. Ephemera — 
while we are at it.” 

She was in the mood now that her companion never 
could resist. Do you know,” she said, I am so 
horribly, horribly envious of you ? ” 

Vera stroked the brown hand caressingly. ^^Was 
that why you gave me the roses?” she said. ^^You 
dear, generous, extravagant girl ! ” 

Partly. No; don’t laugh. I am so envious that 
it hurts.” 

Because my employer is good enough to invite her 
poor little governess to a crush at her house ? ” 

She has treated you like a ^ poor little governess,’ 
hasn’t she? And she wasn’t at all proud of you to- 
night, I suppose?” 


105 


The Way of Escape 

Vera smiled quietly, as if at the memory of a 
speech she was glad to recall. She is good/^ she said. 

Do you know She paused. 

Well?” 

don’t believe I did make a fool of myself to- 
night after all.” 

Eeally ? If you had, I suppose the sun would rise 
in the morning as usual.” 

Vera started. ^^What have I done?” 

Nothing. I don’t know why one should be angry 
with one’s fellows for not being great.” 

No. Even one’s anger wants an occasional close 
time.” But Vera was piqued nevertheless. Why am 
I specially small ? ” 

I did not say you were specially small. I was 
thinking you are too attractive, too creditable, to be 
great. The great people are rather apt to make fools 
of themselves, and apt not to care when they do.” 

Now I wonder.” Vera rose to her feet and took a 
turn up and down the room. “ I should not in the 
least mind making a fool of myself if the occasion was 
big enough. If one goes on making a fool of oneself 
all the time, there is nothing left to make a fool of, so 
to speak, when the big occasion comes.” 

Miss J ohnston shrugged her shoulders. Pray 
don’t think I envy you because Mrs. Trevithick makes 
much of you and invites you to parties. I envy you be- 
cause you have never thrown away a chance in life” 

^‘1 haven’t?” 

There was scarcely a query in the words. The ex- 
pression of face and voice was indescribable, but so 
subtle, so restrained, that it passed unnoticed. 

Life is a game,” went on Miss Johnston bitterly, 
106 


Six Years Later 


and some of us have thrown away most of our pieces 
before we realize the value of them. Then we are left 
to checkmate Fate with a king and a pawn ! You have 
never thrown away a piece.” 

Silence. 

I wondered at first how you had achieved so much ; 
but I begin to see it now. You have never missed a 
chance. Of course a private income is an enormous 
help; but I verily believe you would have done it with- 
out that. I don’t believe you have ever had a lesson 
in music or riding, or anything else, out of which you 
have not squeezed the last drop of advantage. I don’t 
believe you ever speak to a great lady without getting 
something out of her. I despised them at your age. 
Well, you have your reward. Look at us two as we sit 
here now.” 

“ The comparison is made under artificial condi- 
tions,” said Vera drily. Shall I put on a dressing- 
gown before we proceed? I think I have one nearly 
as shabby as that.” 

" Oh, no. The conditions are not artificial. They 
are just typical of all the rest.” Miss Johnston spoke 
slowly with much emphasis. Typical, typical, typical. 
And you cannot form the dimmest notion how hard 
it is for a poor devil like me to go on with the game — 
how one longs to chuck over the board and begin all 
over again.” She paused, looking perhaps for a word 
of consolation ; but it did not come. ‘‘ And that,” she 
concluded coldly, is just what we can never do.” 

Are you sure f ” The voice was low but intensely 
audible. 

‘^Absolutely sure.” 

There was a restless little movement among the 

8 107 


The Way of Escape 

cushions, but the student did not look round. ‘^1 
would give — my share of those chestnuts (which, by 
the way, seems to be a vanishing one,) to know what 
your motive force has been. You are not religious.’^ 

That is true.” 

Then it was sheer appreciation of your own ex- 
ceptional endowments? Odd that that should have 
come so early.” 

Is there any harm in trying to make the most of 
oneself? It is the only thing one can be sure of. I 
never do a kind action without regretting it. But this 
Me” (she tapped herself on the chest) "is different: 
it responds. Did you ever sit in a great cathedral at 
vespers, and drink in the beauty of the arches and 
groins, and then see two average middle-class English- 
women come and stand between you and the chancel? 
If people believe in God, why do they build cathedrals 
to His honour, and make such sorry, stuccoed shanties 
of themselves? Yet no doubt those two average mid- 
dle-class Englishwomen are converted Christians, and 
logically believe themselves to be the temple of the 
Holy Ghost.” 

" Oh ! ” The student was startled out of her reso- 
lution never to check her companion’s unconscious self- 
revelation by seeming surprised at anything she said. 
She pulled herself together quickly. "Well, you cer- 
tainly are a striking instance of what sheer unaided hu- 
manity can do. And you are content? You don’t feel 
the need of anything outside yourself?” Her voice 
sank to a whisper, and she trembled at her own daring ; 
but Vera was in an unusually expansive mood, and the 
interest of the enquiry overrode everything else — " You 
never pray?” 


108 


Six Years Later 


But she had gone just too far. Vera sprang to her 
feet. Don’t I ? ” she said. ‘‘ Oh, yes. I do. I never 
begin the day without praying, Help me to take this day 
ly the horns, and not to he dragged through at its tail! 
Good-night ! Good-night ! ” 

Her own room was large and comfortable, a contrast 
to the one she had left. Her face was very hard as she 
looked at it in the glass ; but she saw only its force, its 
beauty. And now, Madame,” she said, we’ll have no 
more of these confidences, these expansions ! So she 
pricked your bubble for you, did she ? Poor little three- 
year-old ! Serve you right for letting her come so close ! 
You have never thrown away a chance in life, she says. 
Oh, mon dieu, mon dieui ” 

The tears welled up, but, with a great effort of the 
will, she drove them back. She could not afford to 
spoil the beauty of her eyes. The one conscious aim 
of her life for years had been to realize herself in every 
way, to be admired, respected, loved, to be assured that 
she was good and clever and beautiful. It is such 
folly, such rank conventional folly, to say I am not good. 
Because a little girl — who was not me at all — spent a 
guileless summer day in the sunshine, my life, my life 
of thought and will and purpose — oh, my life of affec- 
tion and passion, if you will! — is to be blighted for 
evermore. I wish there were a God, that He might 
judge between me and some of those women to-night ! ” 
With the fingers of both hands she smoothed out 
the furrow from her brow. That would come soon 

enough, and it must not come before 

Before the event to which, in the background of her 
mind, she was always looking forward. Sooner or 
later she would meet Giles Willoughby again : she had 
109 


The Way of Escape 

not a moment’s doubt of that. She would not go in 
search of the meeting. It was gravitating towards her 
surely and steadily. She must not hurry it ; but in the 
meantime she must become a finer thing every day she 
lived. 

How would the meeting be? Should she treat him 
as Dido treated H]neas in the land of the shades ? — or 

— or But there! Better not to plan; better not 

even to think of it. The moment would come, and it 
would be a dramatic moment — possibly the culminating 
moment in the life of both. 


110 


CHAPTER XVI 


PROBLEMS 

The fact is/^ said Mrs. Trevithick sententiously, 
^^it is the man who makes the position, and not the 
position the man. She is not an ordinary governess, 
and I should be a fool if I treated her as one.” 

But, my dear, reflect how little you know of her.” 

^^Know? I know quite enough.” Mrs. Trevithick 
looked at her visitor severely. One can see at a 
glance that she ‘comes of kent folk,’ and she knows 
quite a number of the people one knows, you know. 
You never saw such testimonials. And look how the 
girls have improved. They worship the ground she 
walks on. The saving of friction in the house since she 
came is worth a few hundred a year. What have you 
against her? She certainly looked very pretty last 
night, but so simple and such good form. And, if you 
watch her with men 

“That is just it. I have nothing against her, ex- 
cept that I don’t believe in treasures.” 

“ She is not a treasure,” protested Mrs. Trevithick 
indignantly; “my cook is that. Mademoiselle always 
gives me a feeling of ‘ personality,’ if you know what I 
mean. Ever since Edith’s illness, I have looked upon 
her as a friend. No sister could have been more de- 
voted.” 

“ It was worth her while.” 

Ill 


The Way of Escape 

You old cynic ! Yes ; I hope it was worth her 
while. I mean it to be.” 

“You had better confess frankly that you have 
ceased to be critical where she is concerned. Take her 
accomplishments one by one, and what do they amount 
to? Nothing very great. She is intelligent, and she 
has lived with cultured people. But her one outstand- 
ing qualite is this gift of mesmeric attraction.” 

“ And a very good quality it is.” 

“ Oh, a very good quality indeed — for the possessor. 
Some day one of your men friends will take a fancy to 
her.” 

“ Oh, half-a-dozen of them have done that already ; 
but I don’t know whether any one of them is good 
enough. I want a man for Vera. She is very heart- 
whole so far, I assure you. Do you know she teaches 
for love of the work ? — she has means of her own ? ” 

“ That accounts for much, I admit. To him that 
hath shall be given.” 

When the visitor was gone, Mrs. Trevithick rang the 
bell. “ Tell Mademoiselle I should like her to come 
and have a cup of tea with me before she goes.” 

Vera entered, looking rather pale, but she ap- 
proached her patroness with an air of gentle deference 
that harmonized very prettily with her background of 
“ personality.” Mrs. Trevithick looked with critical ap- 
preciation at the tailor-made gown. It was so exactly 
the right thing. 

“Well, Mademoiselle, is everything satisfactory?” 

“Very satisfactory, I think.” 

“ And the Christmas play promises well ? ” 

“I think so.” Vera’s eyes sparkled with enthusi- 
“ I mean it to be a great success.” 

112 


asm. 


Problems 


You really ought to publish some of your drawing- 
room plays. There is a piquancy about them that one 
rarely finds in such productions.’^ 

Vera laughed and shook her head. I must do 
something better first. Your approval is all I ask at 
present. I was going to give the girls an extra hour’s 
drilling when you sent for me.” 

Very kind of you, I am sure. And that brings me 
to what I was going to say. I think you have a friend- 
ly feeling for me and mine.” 

“ You might put it a good deal more strongly than 
that.” Vera spoke with a quiet earnestness that was 
real in the main. 

And I need not tell you that the feeling is recipro- 
cated. You know, dear, I feel that, humanly speaking, 
we owe Edith’s life to you.” 

A sick child’s fancy. It might have been anyone 

else.” 

That does not alter the fact that it was you. Now 
tell me — are you going home for the holidays ? ” 

‘‘Home!’’ Vera knew she ought not to allow her- 
self that look and intonation, but the temptation was 
strong. 

Well, to those little brothers and sisters you told 
me of?” 

I haven’t been asked. My stepmother thinks I am 
not religious enough to have any dealings with her 
children.” 

Mrs. Trevithick patted her hand. “ I am sure you 
are quite religious enough.” 

Vera smiled with irresistible frankness. ^^Well, I 
think so,” she said simply. I wish I could have the 
children over here, and give them a real good time. 

113 


The Way of Escape 

You have no idea what a dreary life they lead, poor 
mites ! Dingy evangelicalism She stopped, real- 

izing that — naturally — her patroness did not care a 
rush for the little brothers and sisters. 

Then what are you going to do when lessons are 
over ? 

^^Read Schopenhauer, and go to the Wiertz Mu- 
seum.” 

Oh, my dear child ! ” 

“ And skate.” 

" That^s better.” Mrs. Trevithick looked at Vera’s 
trim, graceful figure, and pictured her swooping over 
the ice like a swallow. “ Now the fact is, I want you 
to come and spend the holidays with us.” 

Vera’s face shone — then turned white to the lips. 

You are good,” she said, but of course I could not 
think of such a thing.” 

I can’t bear to think of you in those dingy lodg- 
ings. I never have liked the idea. In fact I don’t think 
it is quite — convenahle. So pack your trunks as soon as 
possible and come.” 

Indeed I am very happy there.” Vera was a little 
breathless. There is a dear old thing who serves the 
purpose of chaperon.” (Miss Johnston, cetat. twenty- 
seven, would have smiled grimly at the description.) 

And the girls need a change from me.” 

In other words, you need a change from them ? 
Well, we’ll see that you get it. But of course they will 
be wild with delight when I tell them.” 

Every word seemed to rivet the chain. ^^Why, 
why,” cried Vera in the agony of her heart, ^^can 
people not be content to take their money’s worth out 
of me, and leave me alone ? ” 

114 


Problems 


don’t protest any more. It is settled. . . . 
Don’t you like the idea ? ” 

Now was her chance. Now was the time to say that 
she preferred her liberty. But that would put an end 
to this pleasant life, and oh, dear, it was so good to 
be loved and petted — to be mothered by this sweet, 
kind woman! Vera felt herself in a little circle of 
light and peace. Outside — a whirlwind swept over 
chaos. 

Like it ! ” she said. 

I declare she looks like a Peri at the gate of Para- 
dise. Are you a humbug after all. Mademoiselle, or 
do you really not realize the extent to which life lies 
at your bidding?” 

Vera took the white jewelled hand, and pressed it 
humbly, almost passionately, to her lips. 

What disturbs you so, child ? I declare she is 
trembling. Come ! Have another cup of tea, and tell 
me all about it.” 

Mrs. Trevithick’s manner was still very kind, yet 
she could not but remember the warning of her friend. 

Vera hesitated, and, as she hesitated, realized that 
now she must explain something. What if she were 
to tell the whole truth ? Ah, that would bring about a 
transformation indeed. She saw the kind motherly 
face harden into stone, saw herself driven from the 
house, chastised with scorpions, and life to begin all 
over again in another corner of the globe. And yet, 
and yet, I am all she thinks me now — all that and 
more.” 

She drank the tea and thought of Socrates drink- 
ing the hemlock. She would explain something pres- 
ently. She wished she knew what it was going to 
115 


The Way of Escape 

be. Take time; no hurry; if this had to be done, let 
it be done with due care and regard for the future. 

When she set down her cup, she had recovered her 
self-possession. “ When I applied for this place,” she 
said, I looked upon the arrangement as a purely busi- 
ness one between you and me. I had certain qualifica- 
tions and credentials for which you were prepared to 
pay.” 

Quite so.” Mrs. Trevithick’s voice was as kind 
as. ever, but her face hardened perceptibly. 

But, little by little, you have established a stronger 
claim on me, and I wish I had told you at first what I 
am going to tell you now.” 

Yes?” 

Vera stretched out her hands to the English fire. 

When I see your girls growing up in this sheltered 
home, like chickens under their mother’s wing, I can’t 
help feeling a little bitter.” 

“Your own mother died when you were quite 
young ? ” 

“Yes, and I was scarcely Kathleen’s age when my 
father died too. A tolerable income came to me in 
the end; but at first there were difficulties, and I had 
to face the world with no preparation save a good edu- 
cation. All at once a chance offered. An English 
family — rich and bourgeois — wanted a Frenchwoman 
to travel with them, officially as governess, unofficially 
as courier.” 

“ But you were so young ! ” 

“ I think I looked older then than I do now.” 

“And for a French girl ” 

“ That is the point. My mother was French ; my 
father was English. I had travelled a great deal with 
IIG 


Problems 


him, and I knew I could do all that was required, and 
I spoke French like a native ; but my name was against 
me. They wanted their penny^s worth, my employers, 
so — I took my mother’s name.” 

There was a moment’s silence. 

^^Is that all?” 

That is all.” 

Well, well, well.” Mrs. Trevithick patted the 
strong nervous hand. ‘‘ It was a mistake, of course, 
for, if anyone had found it out who knew you less 
well than I do, they might think you had graver reasons 
for changing your name.” 

The danger was past. Yes,” said Vera meekly. 
Her first feeling was one of overwhelming relief; but 
a moment later she saw that the relief was illusory. 
She had unlocked the door indeed ; but it was the wrong 
door. Instead of breathing the open air, she was in 
a darker dungeon. 

“ And yet there was wisdom in it too. I confess I 
prefer Mademoiselle de Matharel to Miss ? ” 

Carruthers.” 

“ Your father was ? ” 

Vera breathed more freely, and there was a touch 
of proud defiance in the movement of her head. My 
father was a student — a man of science, the friend of 
Darwin and Haeckel. He did not care for fame nor 
to make a reputation. He loved to live in a corner 
and to do good work.” In her rising enthusiasm she 
left herself and her troubles behind, and she raised a 
glowing face with fine honest eyes full to Mrs. Trevi- 
thick. Oh,” she said, there is no woman living 
who has more cause to be proud of her father than I 
have.” 


117 


The Way of Escape 

That settled it. It only remained to arrange details. 
Vera was to go to the Boulevard Waterloo for the 
holidays, and perhaps for good. 

She was no longer pale when she left the house. 
Her cheeks burned like fire. She was chastised with 
scorpions indeed, though only with those of an accus- 
ing conscience. 

Oh, you bungler, you bungler, you fool ! ” she 
said between her teeth. Of all the weak, washy, 
unnecessary stories! What if you had been in the 
witness-box at the mercy of a cross-examining coun- 
sel? CanT you choose one line or the other and stick 
to it ? Either wear the ‘ A ^ frankly on your breast 
and let the good ladies stoop to ^ reclaim ’ you, or else 
— lie like a man! Put your back into it, and have 
something to show for your lies ! ” 

Night had closed in, and the wind was high. The 
dead leaves rattled past her on the boulevard with a 
sickening emptiness of sound. In the morning she 
had called them pixies and elves, and her heart had 
danced with them in the sunshine. Now they seemed 
like disembodied spirits, drifting drearily along in a 
region of purposeless woe. 

Suddenly a horror of great darkness came upon her 
— a prevision of impending evil so overwhelming that 
she became unconscious of her physical surroundings. 
The sweat stood in great cold drops on her brow, and 
involuntarily she clung to the railing for support. 

I am like Lady Godiva,’’ she thought, riding 
through the town. Just now every shutter is closed; 
but some day — at any moment — they will spring open, 
and — in the midst of countless jeering eyes — I shall 
be naked and alone.’^ 


118 


Problems 


The physical anguish of the moment amounted al- 
most to madness. Surely never before had it been so 
unbearable as this. 

A minute later she was speeding through the streets 
like a hunted hare. Dignity? What was that when 
all the fiends were behind? 

A bright wood fire burned in her sitting-room, and 
Miss Johnston’s homely face was a welcome in itself. 

What’s the matter? ” she cried. You look ill. Has 
some one been following you again ? What brutes these 
men are ! Sit down in the big chair, and I will give 
you a glass of wine. See, I have put your slippers to 
the fire.” 

It was all so commonplace and reassuring that Vera 
could have sobbed aloud. ^'You are very good,” she 
said humbly, as she allowed herself to be petted and 
made much of; and so, little by little, the anguish 
passed. 

What a fool I am ! ” she thought. “ Only one 
human being knows, and she — she loves me. There 
is nothing so safe as love — save only death. And after 
all, am I not in the same gaUre as half the women who 
have lived in history ? ” 


119 ^ 


CHAPTER XVII 


THE DEBATING SOCIETY 

It was Sarah’s night out. 

And for that reason it had long been fixed upon for 
the weekly meeting of the Debating Society. There is 
nothing like a kitchen for debating in — when Sarah is 
out. The table is roomy, the fire is good, the range of 
dish-covers is a source of inspiration, and — most im- 
portant of all — no tiresome people come dropping in 
to check the fiow of soul with their meaningless plati- 
tudes. 

Debating Society Night ” was one of the two fixed 
functions of the week, the other being Toffee Night.” 
That, however, was held in the dining-room on Thurs- 
days when Mrs. Carruthers was absent at the weekly 
prayer-meeting held in the schoolroom of the chapel 
she attended. 

The presence of a carpet and hearthrug lends a spe- 
cial piquancy somehow to the preparation of toffee, 
and so does the awful dread that Sarah may come in at 
any moment to see to the fire.” 

I am sure,” said Harold, stifling a yawn, that 
we are all much obliged to our friend for his interesting 
paper. I confess I have learned a good deal about 
Mexico to-night that I did not know before.” He was 
seated in the well-scoured deal arm-chair with his feet 
on the boiler. 


120 


The Debating Society 

I thought that so awfully interesting about the 
puma,” said Aline, caressing the family cat as she 
spoke. 

‘^At the same time,” said Judith, the elder sister, 
dispassionately, I think your title was too big. You 
called it ‘ Mexico,^ and then you only told us it was 
in North America, and went on to the birds and beasts 
and plants. You might as well lecture on the ocean, 
and only talk about pearls. There are other things 

besides pearls in the ocean she paused and went 

on apologetically, ^Hhere are Gulf Streams.” 

The feeling of the meeting was against the severity 
of the criticism, and particularly against the flippancy 
of the closing simile. The paper had been read by the 
youngest member of the family, and, regarded in that 
light, it really was remarkable. In any case it was over 
now. Requiescat ! 

The object of these divers criticisms lay full length 
on the table, his hands clasped under his head. With 
a hasty movement he raised himself on his elbow. I 
could have told you lots more — lots ! ” he said indig- 
nantly; ^^but when I saw you growing sleepier and 
sleepier ” 

Eric, how can you ? I wasn’t a bit sleepy, and I 
don’t believe you had any more writteng” 

This was unanimously considered to be hitting be- 
low the belt. 

Let me see now — there was something else I par- 
ticularly wanted to say ” Eric drew a shabby old 

tome lovingly towards him. 

Oh, I say, chuck it ! ” protested Harold, dropping 
his role of chairman. Time’s up. Let’s do some- 
thing else. ‘ I’ll read you some more of Hiawatha.” 

121 


The Way of Escape 

^^To-morrow’s Sunday/’ put in the gentle Aline, 
and I don’t believe any of us have read Barnes’ Notes 
for Mother’s class in the afternoon. I brought them in 
with me 

Harold opened the oven door, extracted a piece of 
firewood, and aimed it neatly at the book. It disturbed 
the equilibrium of the cat, and, in the effort to save 
both. Aline let the Notes fall. They had seen much 
service, and their fall was an abject one. With a pain- 
ful sense of desecration, the child gathered up the loose 
leaves, and her expression of awe was refiected in the 
faces of the others. 

Harold was the first to shake it off. 

“ A crash, a scream, and all was o’er,” 

he extemporized melodramatically. 

As was the custom in their little circle, Judith took 
up the refrain, 

“ The book lay shattered upon the floor.” 

Eric threw up his arms in mock despair — 

“ The children fled and went to bed.” 

Aline was still awestruck, but she had to chime in 
with the voice of the avenger, 

“ But soon the Mother she opened the door.” 

After that the doggerel went spinning on, each child 
taking a line more or less in turn. 

‘ Children,’ said she,” 

“ ‘ How can this be ? ’ ” 

** ‘ Open the door,’ ” 

‘ Look on the floor.’ ” 

“ There lay the book the same as before.” 

m 


The Debating Society 

There was a pause, and then J udith solemnly intro- 
duced the second stanza. This time the poem pro- 
ceeded smoothly enough. 

“ A crash, a scream, and all was o’er. 

The children lay shattered upon the floor ; 

The Mother fled and went to bed. 

But soon the Father he opened the door. 

‘ Wife,’ said he, 

‘ How can this be ? 

Open the door. 

Look on the floor.’ 

There lay the children the same as before I 

“A crash, a scream, and all was o’er: 

The Mother lay shattered upon the floor, 

The Father fled and went to bed. 

But soon the Grandmother opened the door. 

‘ Son,’ said she ” 

With a shout of glee the children hailed the appear- 
ance of each new relative in the role of avenger, and 
there was obviously nothing in the moral of the poem 
to prevent its going on forever. The exigencies of 
metre, fortunately, prohibited the entry of any rela- 
tive in the direct line more remote than the greatgrand- 
father. 

Of all the awful rot ! said Harold, trying to 
control the muscles of his face. I say — let’s do some- 
thing in the style of Hiawatha. That’s something like 
a metre.” 

“ On a dreary night in winter,” 

“ When the embers red were glowing,” 

“And the wind was howling loudly,” 

“ Through the summits of the pine-trees; ” 

“ When the wolves were prowling softly,” 

“ Far beyond the range of torches,” 

9 123 


The Way of Escape 

“ And the booming of the bittern ” 

“ Sounded weirdly o’er the marshes ” — 

“ Then the father told the children ” 

“ Of the glorious days behind them ” 

Here there fell a long pause. 

Get on, can’t you ? ” 

Judith gasped. She had read a good deal for her 
age; but the ancient history of a land that produced 
wolves and bitterns was beyond her. Womanlike, she 
evaded the difficulty — 

“ Of the days not yet forgotten ” 

“ When a mighty troop of foemen,” 

ventured Eric, greatly daring. 

“ From the land beyond the borders,” 

Waged wild war upon ” 

Another pause. Judith burst into hysterical laugh- 
ter — 

“ — the bitterns ! ” 

Everybody laughed, and then everybody looked re- 
proachful. 

couldn’t help it,” she protested. ^^It was all 
the fault of whoever brought in the fathers and the 
children.” 

“ It wasn’t. It was the fault of those beastly bit- 
terns. I haven’t the least notion even how many legs 
the thing has.” 

A ring at the bell changed the subject of conversa- 
tion. 

" Postman,” said Judith, and if I take a letter in 
to Mother, I know she’ll make me stop and read to 
her.” 


1^4 


The Debating Society 

1^11 go,” said Aline, and, deftly depositing Barnes 
and the cat in her chair, she slipped away. 

She came back breathless with excitement and 
triumph. I don^t believe Mother heard the bell,” 
she whispered. It’s a parcel — for you, Harold. 
Do you think we might open it without telling 
her ? ” 

ITe, forsooth! I rather think I’ll open it when 
and where I choose. It’s from Vera. She’s a brick, 
is Vera.” 

The girls looked as if they had been accustomed 
to hear another view of the matter. 

Harold kept them all on tenterhooks as long as 
he could; but even his fortitude gave way at last, and 
he carefully untied the knot. 

Is there such another place in the world as Brussels 
for buying Christmas presents ? As one treasure after 
another was unwrapped from its silver paper, hushed 
murmurs of admiration rose into a purring chorus. 
And what a giant box of chocolates ! Even that was 
not all. There was a solid silver English half-crown 
for each of the four. Vera had not forgotten the 
charm of choosing one’s pleasures. Last of all came 
two letters, one for Harold, and one for the whole 
partie carree. 

My dear little Brothers and Sisters, 

^^I wish with all my heart I was a rich woman, 
for then I would invite you all over here, and we 
would have a real jolly Christmas together. We would 
skate — ” 

SlcateT' said Eric longingly.] 

— and go to the play — 

126 


The Way of Escape 

Go to the play!^^ echoed Judith in a shocked 
whisper.] 

“ — and eat sweets and cakes in the most delightful 
shop you ever saw. 

^^But I am not a rich woman, so I can only send 
you a tiny slice of all the good things I wish you. 

"Your loving sister, 

"Vera.” 

" She’s a brick,” said Harold again. " Let’s eat her 
health.” 

And the great box of chocolates was solemnly 
handed round. 


136 


CHAPTER XVIII 


THE FORCE OF A NAME 

If any woman downstairs looks better than this,” 
Vera said to herself — I shall learn something from 
her, that is all ” 

Her room was brilliantly lighted, and the mirrors 
were cunningly arranged to reflect her flgure from 
every point of view. She was arrayed in a beautiful 
gown of pale apple-green silk ; her hair, which had never 
grown very long, rippled and fluffed round the simple 
gold circlet that bound her head, and her face wore an 
expression of profound gravity. 

The only question is — whether I ought not to have 
a dash of complementary colour — or do my face and 
hair supply that sufficiently? In any case one can’t 
buy flowers for oneself, and I think — I thinh — it is all 
right. The mistake most women fall into is to make 
a gown a complete scheme in itself. A work of art? 
— Yes, indeed, Madame — if only you would take your- 
self out of it ! ” 

There was a knock at the door, and Mrs. Trevithick’s 
maid came in with a dainty florist’s parcel. For 
you. Mademoiselle. It has just come.” 

Thank you very much.” 

Can I do anything for you. Mademoiselle ? Ma- 
dame has gone down.” 

If you will arrange this lace for me, I shall be 
glad.” The lace needed no arranging, but she was too 
127 


The Way of Escape 

wise to refuse a proffered service — too wise to make it 
more than a very trifling one. 

When the maid was gone, she opened the box, and 
displayed a brilliant spray of William Allen Richard- 
son roses. Her eyes sparkled like a child’s. I be- 
lieve,” she said — 

Moving swiftly to the pier-glass, she raised the 
flowers to her breast. — that it is the — very — thing. 

Then a wonderful softening came over her face, and, 
supporting the flowers tenderly on the palms of both 
hands, she bent over them with an exquisite caressing 
gesture. You dear, dear, good fellow,” she said. " I 
love you, I love you ! What am I to do ? ” She paced 
up and down the room, forgetful even for the moment 
of the furrow on her brow. Oh, my dear, you are 
so good to me, and so strong, and so simple hearted; 
and who in all the world would make you so happy as I ? 
I should be so pleasant, so indulgent, so easy to get on 
with. You can’t guess how nice I should be; and in- 
deed, indeed, in my heart of hearts, I am gooder than 
those women downstairs. I should never bore you, nor 
weary you. Why must I give you over to a grim white 
thing ?” 

Then her face changed, and she laid the flowers 
on the table with a little gesture of weariness. “ Do 
I love him ? ” she said. Or am I only in love with 
his love for me? Sometimes he makes me feel — 
ninety! Shall I ever know my own heart again — or 
have I no heart to know any more ? ” 

She took a few more turns up and down the room. 

Why will men be in such a hurry ? I have only known 
him three weeks.” 

Intimately for three weeks,” said Conscience, 
128 


The Force of a Name 


casually for three months. For three weeks you 
have skated with him, sung with him, danced with him, 
sat out with him — you could not feel more sure of 
his character at the end of three years.” 

Vera sat down and looked at her watch. Ten 
minutes in which to decide. Let us keep to the point 
and have no high falutin\ Life is a game, as Miss 
Johnston said. Here is a good offer of marriage. 
Very good if I am to be reckoned as the governess. 
Fairly good if I am taken as a human being. Mrs. 
Trevithick approves, with a rider in her own mind 
to the effect that I am a lucky young woman. I donT 
care to be considered a lucky young woman. It makes 
me feel I might do a great deal better; but everyone 
will think me lucky — except Miss J ohnston, and one or 
two other men — and the man himself. Yet I might 
have done better — from a worldly point of view — a year 
ago. It is idle to say I could not make a brilliant mar- 
riage ” — she raised her eyes to the glass — of course I 
could. But a city that is set upon a hill cannot be 
hid. There is safety in seclusion, safety in mediocrity. 
I hate seclusion. I hate mediocrity. This man has *few 
relations : he is comparatively free. He is good and 

generous. If — if anything happened Oh, why am 

I dependent on anyone’s mercy? Why must I marry 
at all? I was made for a great career — to do and 
dare ” 

Visions of Jeanne d’Arc floated through her mind 
as through the minds of so many girls before her. Oh, 
the passionate, generous, formless aspirations of youth 
— aspirations for which the stage of life is all too small ! 
^^Give me new heavens and a new earth that I may 
have room to realize these God-given powers ! ” But 
129 


The Way of Escape 

the walls close steadily in, and the shades of middle 
life fall, and yonth is youth no longer when it learns 
that the problem was not to find room, but rather to 
find the greatness which can adapt itself to things so 
small. 

The ten minutes were up. Vera raised the spray 
once more, and fastened it to her breast. “ You under- 
stand now, I think,” she said severely. No more 
expansions, subtle suggestions, leakages. You are a 
cultured, self-respecting woman who need not blush to 
accept the love of any honest man.” 

It is coming,” said Vera to herself. “ What am I 
to do?” 

She was sitting with Captain Dunbar in the winter 
garden, among the palms and the Chinese lanterns. 
For two hours she had been quite, quite sure that she 
loved him; and now, when the cup of her happiness 
should have been full, she was sick with apprehension. 

It is coming,” she said ; it is coming. What am I 
to do?” 

And then, in another region of her mind she began 
to wonder how it would come. He was not a master 
of words. 

He changed his position awkwardly several times, 
and jerked out a few staccato sentences of no particular 
hearing. 

How fresh you have kept your roses ! ” he said 
abruptly. No other woman in the room has that 
particular gift.” 

She touched the flowers caressingly. No other 
woman in the room has flowers that were chosen with 
such care.” 


130 


The Force of a Name 


“Well, that is true. I was awfully pleased when 
I saw you wearing them. Queer colour, aren^t 
they ? ” 

Delicious. Shall we go back to the salon ? ” 

I was in doubt between that and white, but 

Vera laughed nervously. Oh, I am glad you chose 
this. I hate white. White is for — good little girls. 
Perhaps I ought to explain to you. Captain Dunbar ” — 
she raised her head with a pretty, deprecating gesture 
— "that this is not my first ball.” 

" Not like white ? ” he said, surprised. " Why, white 
is your very own colour. Vera, Vera — the name is a 
crystal. I often think our godfathers and godmothers 
at our baptism are gifted with a kind of prophetic 
insight. It doesn’t always come off, of course; but 
that is more than you can claim for the best of 
prophets.” 

"No; it doesn’t always come off,” said Vera re- 
flectively. " I had a chambermaid in Switzerland last 
summer as round and red as a rosebud. I should have 
called her Haidenrdslein ; but no : her name was Apol- 
lonia. Then wasn’t there a city clerk who rejoiced 
in the name of Marcus Aurelius Snooks ? ” 

"Don’t,” he said simply. Her flippancy jarred on 
him. His voice was a little hoarse. "Don’t. It is 
the most beautiful name in the world, and the most 
appropriate.” 

Vera opened her lips to speak, but he stopped 
her. 

"You know what I want to say,” he exclaimed 
desperately. "Well, that’s — that’s why. I admired 
your beauty and wit and fun from the first ; but then I 
saw you were straight and transparent as sunlight. 

131 


The Way of Escape 

Vera/^ he repeated in a reverent whisper, ^'Vera, 
Verar’ 

But she had sprung to her feet, her beauty all gone 
to ashes. 

Stop,^^ she said. Stop. Don’t go on. I am ill. 
Take me to Mrs. Trevithick ! ” 


132 


CHAPTER XIX 


DEATH AND LIFE 

It was about five in the morning when she awoke. 
Certain that she would not sleep, she had left the light 
burning; and it was with a dreary sense of surprise 
that she looked at her watch. There was no gradual 
realization this time of what had happened. She woke 
with the recollection weighing like lead on her mind, 
and she saw it in its ugliest, most worldly light. What 
was the use of being all she was if she had not the 
strength of purpose to carry anything through ? What 
was the use of striving to perfect her life, if, just as the 
buds were opening, she plucked them with her own 
ruthless hand ? If only I was a pirate on the high 
seas — with no claim, no right, no wish, for a respect- 
able reputation ! ’’ 

The situation was not final. She had only to plead 
a woman’s right to be nervous and hysterical, and all 
might be as it was before. Bah ! ” she said, “ how 
I hate hysterical women ! ” If, on the other hand, she 
stood to Ijer guns, she sacrificed not only a good man’s 
love, but also a good woman’s friendship: she pro- 
claimed herself a heartless flirt ; for to say she had not 
encouraged Captain Dunbar was the idlest falsehood. 

I hate flirts,” said Vera. “ I am none, I am none. 
How faithful and true I could be if life would give me 
133 


The Way of Escape 

a chance! Oh, the happy, happy people who are able 
to be true ! ” 

Then the cynical mood came uppermost. ^^Are 
there not plenty of virtues that you should cry — like a 
child for the moon — after the two that lie out of your 
reach ? Yet how good it must be to be ^ straight and 
transparent as sunlight ’ 1 I will be straight and trans- 
parent as sunlight in everything, save only this. Oh, 
Giles Willoughby, Giles Willoughby! May the Fates 
exact some day from you every jot and tittle of what I 
have suffered. I hate you — I hate you — I hate you! 
If it were not for you, what woman would have had so 
beautiful a life as I? And now, wretched man that 
I am, who shall deliver me from the body of this 
death 

She rose from her bed to open the window wider. 

Well, friend,” she said, which is it going to be — 
neurotic or flirt? Je vous felicite des deux roles 

As she spoke, her eyes fell for the first time on an 
unopened black-edged letter. With the involuntary 
reflection that there was no one on earth whose death 
would affect her greatly, she returned to bed to read 
the letter in comfort. 

Dear Miss Carruthers — 

‘^It is many years since I had any tidings of 
you; hut I think you may not have forgotten your 
Father’s old friend. I am sending this letter through 
your man of business, as I do not know where you are. 
You wiU be shocked to hear that Mrs. Carruthers died 
rather unexpectedly last night. The illness was not in 
itself a serious one; but her heart has been weak for 
years, and the doctor says death was due to syncope. 

134 


Death and Life 


Her sister. Miss Anderson, was fortunately in the 
house at the time of the sad event, and she is taking 
care of the four children. They will be left, I fear, 
very poorly off, as Mrs. Carruthers, in her ignorance 
of business, has been drawing pretty extensively on 
capital; but Miss Anderson (though herself not a rich 
woman) is, I believe, prepared, with a little pecuniary 
help from you, to undertake their upbringing and edu- 
cation. I have no doubt you will be satisfied with this 
arrangement, though I understand that, from a legal 
point of view, you — as your Father’s nearest surviving 
relative — have the first claim to the guardianship of 
the children. 

‘^Miss Anderson is a most conscientious and re- 
ligious woman, and she will, I have no doubt, do all in 
her power for the welfare of the family. 

‘‘ You will, of course, receive full intimation, and 
all necessary information, from the proper quarter ; but 
I thought it well to give you some idea how the matter 
stands. 

With very cordial greetings, I am 

Yours very truly, 

"Joshua Smith.” 

It is impossible to describe the effect of this letter 
upon Vera. It found her in a cul-de-sac, where her 
own career seemed to have come to an end; or rather, 
it caught her in a moment of rebound from her own 
personality. Even in the lives of the most selfish there 
come moments of longing for deliverance. "Here is 
my chance,” she thought. "The labour I take with 
myself is ' as the climbing up a sandy way to the feet 
of the aged.’ Henceforth the children shall be my self, 
135 


The Way of Escape 

my ego. All that I have learned and achieved I will 
pour into them. I will make of them all that I never 
could make of myself. I believe, I do believe, they will 
love me. They shall be to me as clay in the hands of the 
potter.’^ 

A line of Omar Khayyam went drifting through 
her mind — 

“ Who is the Potter, pray, and who the Pot ? ” 

but, fortunately for the illusions of youth, it failed to 
link itself on to her line of thought. 

In another moment her mind was teeming with 
plans, some high and visionary, some almost grotesque- 
ly practical. She thought of the lofty ideal she would 
impress upon the children’s minds, till the conception 
was chased away by an anxious forecast of the butcher’s 
bill. 

Oh, what lucky, lucky children they will be ! ” she 
said, and she sprang from bed once more to begin a 
new life. 

So flirt has it,” she thought rather ruefully a few 
minutes later, as her eye fell on the roses she had for- 
gotten to put into water. ^^And yet — and yet, they 
will not call me a flirt. Here at last is a fact in my life 
of which I need make no mystery. My stepmother is 
dead; my little brothers and sisters are left all but 
penniless. Everyone will think it natural if I take 
them up.” Her face clouded. They will think that 
is my only motive; they will think me better than I 
really am. ‘ Straight and transparent as sunlight.’ 
Oh, I want to be true, and I can’t, I can’t ! There is 
nothing in all the world so beautiful as truth. I will 
be true in everything save only this.” 

136 


Death and Life 


An expression of mingled relief and awe came over 
her mobile face. 

‘^And now,” she said solemnly, ^Hhe past is past. 
There shall be no more remorse, no faltering, no look- 
ing back. Vera Carruthers is dead. What she was 
matters nothing now.” 


137 


PAET III 


CHAPTER XX 

A DIFFERENCE OF OPINION 

Miss Anderson raised a moist handkerchief to her 
eyes. ^^Well, I can only hope that the children will 
never rise np to reproach you for what you have done.” 

^^You don’t seem to see/’ said Vera quietly but 
wearily, ^Hhat the question is one of principle. You 
seem to consider religion and principle coextensive. 
Besides, it is the law which has settled the question, 
not I.” 

The law does not create a complete breach between 
the children and me.” 

No; it leaves that for me to decide. It is the only 
way to avoid unceasing friction. If the law had handed 
them over to you ” 

Yes ; what would you have done then ? ” 

'^I should have accepted the conclusion loyally. I 
should have realized that your influence and mine were 
incompatible, and simply vacated the field.” 

^^But what injury am I likely to do them? If 
religion is a mere superstition, what harm can it do 
them ? ” 

I don’t want them to grow up sentimental and in- 
trospective. You force me to speak plainly.” 

" If this little life be all, what can it matter ? ” 

138 


A DifTerence of Opinion 

Don’t you think it matters all the more? We 
know little, and there is not much that we can do ; but 
we can at least meet fate bravely and gallantly.” 

It is easy to talk like that when one is rich and 
young and flattered.” 

Vera laughed. Those are qualiflcations that every 
day will help to modify — particularly the flrst.” 

^^Yes; when you tire of your — whim, let me 
know.” 

Vera was not listening. Her face had flushed un- 
accountably. Do you know,” she said with an effort, 
I believe I said what was not true just now ? I said 
I should simply have vacated the fleld. I don’t suppose 
I should have done so absolutely.” 

^^Now, you see!” Miss Anderson was eager to 
press the concession home. It is only when we turn a 
thing round that we see it in its true bearings. I ask 
so little — only to live near the children and to have 
them with me for a few hours a week.” 

Ho,” said Vera with emphasis. I grant you my 
inconsistency for all it is worth; but I grant you noth- 
ing more. I should not have opposed your teaching 
directly. I should have tried to keep their intellects 
alive, that’s all.” 

And you won’t allow me to keep their spiritual 
nature alive. They have been much moved by their 
mother’s death. They are in a softened and suscep- 
tible mood.” 

Yes ; it is natural that they should be taking a 
morbid, one-sided view of life for the moment. That 
will pass.” 

Miss Anderson clenched her hands to keep back the 
indignant words. Oh,” she said, it is useless to 
10 139 


The Way of Escape 

talk. One can only hope that .some day you will see. 
I can only pray for them and for you ” 

I forgot,” said Vera. You have that consola- 
tion. You are better off than I should have been had the 
situation been reversed. You can pray for them, and 
you can hope that I shall ^ see.’ I know you never will 
^ see.’ Goodbye.” 

There was no response, and she left the room. In 
the passage she paused irresolute. Then she heard a 
stifled sob. A minute later she retraced her steps to 
And her antagonist still sitting in the same place, her 
head resting in uttermost dejection on her outstretched 
arms. 

Forgive me,” Vera said. Life is hard enough 
for all of us without my paining you more than need 
be. I did not mean to when our talk began. I don’t 
know why it is so difficult not to be cold and flippant 
when one talks of these things. Let me sit down now 
and try to tell you something of what I plan. I shall 
teach the children nothing negative. I will try to make 
them brave and true, but I shall leave them to form 
an opinion for themselves in matters that are great and 
difficult. That is what their father would have wished. 
It is scarcely just to describe it as my ^ whim.’ I will 
try to keep on growing all the time that I may be more 
equal to the trust; it would be miserable if they were 
the witness of constant dissensions between you and 
me.” She hesitated and wavered. She felt a degree of 
compunction for which she was unable to account, and 
she could not help wanting even Miss Anderson to 
like her. I must have the children for a year ; but 
since you care about it so much, we will reopen the 
question then. From your point of view no great harm 
140 


A Difference of Opinion 

will be done. The methods of science are nothing if 
not slow. Your ^ conversion ’ can be effected in a mo- 
ment.” 

Thank God!” 

There was real feeling in the words ; but a moment 
later the speaker threw away her advantage. Do you 
really believe,” she said, raising tear-stained eyes, “ that 
you will have the perseverance to go on for a year ? ” 

If not,” said Vera quietly, we are surely wast- 
ing breath. You would not grudge me my year.” In 
her heart she was glad to have one incentive more. 
"Whatever happens now,” she said to herself, "there 
must be no looking back.” 


141 


CHAPTER XXI 


“ WHO IS THE POTTEE, PEAY, AKD WHO THE POT ? ” 

It certainly was a duck-pond to fire the imagina- 
tion. Not one of those clear limpid pools, devoid of 
mystery, which allow you to see every pebble at the 
bottom. Nothing of the sort. The bottom was of black 
slime, and the water inky and forbidding to uninitiated 
eyes. It was impossible to guess what loathsome forms 
of life might not lie hidden beneath its impenetrable 
surface. There was a sloping beach by which the ducks 
could waddle in, but the remaining sides were built up 
with stone, forming at the back a cliff ” some three 
feet in height above the surface of the water. The cliff 
was full of caves and crevices, for most of the mortar 
and some of the stones had been washed away by the 
rain. 

Here, on the scrubby grass, the children were wont 
to lie prone, with head and arms projecting over the 
edge, gazing down on the sleek broad backs below. 

It is wonderful how much character ducks have when 
you really get to know them; and the character is 
demonstrated with surprising force if you send out 
among them a wooden raft laden with a portion of the 
savoury boiled potatoes and oats which Kirsty provides 
for their mid-day meal. 

Of course the raft is not sent adrift till Kirsty is 
well out of sight, for an exciting skirmish is apt to 
142 


“Who is the Potter, Pray?” 


end in a total loss of supplies. It is amusing then 
to watch the creatures dive after their vanished treas- 
ure, but how much of it they really succeed in saving no 
human being will ever know. 

There comes a time, however, when no inducement 
is sufficient to keep the ducks in the pond, and then you 
must either wander off to byre and stable and granary, 
or resort to a commonplace form of make-believe. 

To-day the June sun was hot, and the children were 
too lazy to move. 

‘‘Mighty cliffs towered above the surface of the 
water” said Judith dreamily. 

And the leaves dashed against them with a sullen, 
dauntless roar” 

“ Oh, I say, ^ dauntless ’ is fine ! ” 

Make waves, canT you, Eric ? You’ve got a switch. 
Call that dauntless? Yo, no; draw it mild, or we’ll 
have a shipwreck to start with.” 

The pirate chief stood moody and alone on the 
deck of his vessel. Stop a bit. Let’s find a pirate chief.” 

A stumpy bit of wood was the only available repre- 
sentative, but Aline provided a pin to which it could 
be spliced. Without that addition, the chief could never 
have stood moody ” in such a sea. 

“His men were asleep below 

Then I’ll thank you to put them there,” said 
Harold, surveying in disgust the wooden raft which had 
been promoted to the proud position of pirate ship. 

You can’t ^ sleep below ’ in a ship of two dimensions.” 
in the stern” Judith corrected herself hastily. 

And he had no wish to wake them.” 

^^More fool he under the circumstances. They’d 
have been better employed in washing this beastly wet 
143 


The Way of Escape 

potato off the decks. And who do you suppose was at 
the helm?” 

He must he within a few hundred yards of the hid- 
den treasure — where are those gorgeous beads of yours, 
Aline? If only he could find it, he would he the owner 
of untold wealth/^ 

“ The night was growing darh, and he could only 
dimly see the mysterious outline of the caves. Sud- 
denly ” 

above the noise of the waves No, no; don’t 

overdo it, Eric ! ” 

he fancied he heard a piercing cry. At that 

moment the moon looTced out from behind a cloud ” 

and he beheld at the mouth of a cave ” 

Oh, I say — captive princess business ! Hurry up. 
Aline ! Give us one of your dolls.” 

I can’t ! ” cried generous Aline in dismay. 

Nonsense ! Look alive. Don’t you see we must 
have it ? Poke back the ship a bit from the cliff, Eric.” 

There’s Hephzibah — the broken one,” said Judith 
in a stage whisper. She will do.” 

Euefully Aline rummaged in a basket by her side, 
and produced a penny china doll. It had lost an arm, 
and in its palmiest days had never possessed a neck; 
but she loved it, and no doll ever went to meet a more 
uncertain fate. 

Well, of all the one-horse princesses ! ” said Har- 
old in disgust. Never mind. Hand over. I’ll get 
her into the cave.” 

You can’t ! ” shrieked Aline. She’s got noth- 
ing on ! ” 

Never mind.” 

Give her to me ! ” said J udith. Let me see. 

144 


“Who is the Potter, Pray?” 


What were we at? Oh, I remember. He beheld at the 
mouth of the cave the loveliest woman he ever — ever 
— saw.” 

A shout of derision greeted the anticlimax, but 
Judith was too busy to pay attention. Wrapping the 
doll in a silky red poppy leaf, she tied it round with a 
blade of grass. “A crimson robe fell in great folds 
from her shoulders ” 

And a scarf of matchless beauty encircled her 
waist” 

One lovely arm ” proceeded Harold mockingly. 

Well, bairns,” said Vera’s pleasant voice. “ Tell 
me all about it.” 

The eager faces fell. Harold sprang to his feet 
shamefacedly. Of all the awful rot ! ” he said. This 
was his favourite apology for his delicious brotherly 
relapses into childishness. He put his hands in his 
pockets and walked away, whistling. 

Aline’s comforting little hand stole softly into 
Vera’s, and she looked up with smiling eyes. But as 
to telling a grown person what the game was about — 
why, it was all in an unknown language. 

Poor Vera ! With the best intentions in the world, 
she was an Olympian after all! 

Few things turn out exactly as we anticipate in life ; 
but in the conflict and combination of personalities it 
may be fairly said that nothing ever does turn out as 
we anticipate. Strong in the sense that she was sacri- 
ficing much for these children, Vera had been prepared 
to take royal possession; but the first half-hour of in- 
tercourse had convinced her that this was impossible. 
It was not only, nor mainly, that they had been preju- 
145 


The Way of Escape 

diced against her. They came to her clothed in black, 
with the aura of the Valley about them, so to speak, 
and she was constrained to stand back. Their talk and 
their games were often ridiculously childish; but, just 
as she had convinced herself that they were mere chil- 
dren after all, they turned to her a shadow side so full 
of mystery that she was baffled. It was her instinct to 
talk of the dear ones she had lost — ^to recall their good- 
ness, even their foibles; but the children had been 
taught to speak of their father with bated breath; of 
their mother they could not be persuaded to speak at 
all. Vera knew, even from the dead woman’s friends, 
that latterly she had been arbitrary, severe, unreason- 
able, but she never would have gathered this from the 
children. She tried sometimes to get more into touch 
with them by the obvious method of asking questions, 
but the attempt only forced her to realize the inward- 
ness of Wordsworth’s poem: — 

“At Kilve there was no weathercock; 

And that’s the reason why. ” 

On the other hand, with eight solemn eyes upon her, 
she became more keenly conscious of her own short- 
comings. She succeeded in striking a high note to 
begin with, and then felt the effort of living up to it. 
To her own naive surprise, the love seemed to be main- 
ly on her side, and she saw that at first she must ex- 
ercise a wise economy even in showing it. Well, she had 
set out to win her brothers and sisters, and win them 
she would. In the meantime they all behaved to her 
with a pretty respect, and Harold often treated her with 
a boyish chivalry that filled her with hope. 

She felt acutely the duty of being equable, but how 
146 


“Who is the Potter, Pray?” 


is a pagan girl to accomplish that after which saints 
and philosophers have too often striven in vain ? 
Once and again, when she thought of the freedom of 
the past, and when the necessity for adaptation became 
too galling, she was swept off her feet by a whirlwind 
of passion that left her exhausted and ashamed. To do 
the children justice, they never took advantage of these 
outbursts. They seemed to think that something of 
the kind was only to be expected of their elders. 

And yet the little menage was a successful one on 
the whole. Vera had been fortunate in finding an old 
farmhouse with a non-resident farmer, who, in con- 
sideration of the hardness of the times, was glad to let 
at a moderate rent. There was a good seaport and 
market-town at a distance of two or three miles, and 
an excellent educational centre a little farther off. The 
place struck her as being in the heart of the country,” 
and she settled down happily to the prospect of knowing 
no one but the butcher and the postman. 

She had far wider experience of the world than 
most women of her age, and she naturally did not 
realize that she was entering upon a life of which she 
had no experience at all. The “heart of the coun- 
try ” seems to the casual observer as placid and empty 
as a drop of stagnant water, but, settle down to live 
in the midst of it, and you have put the drop of water 
under a microscope, so to speak. Life appears in varied 
forms out of nothingness, and what was a mere speck 
becomes a formidable personality. 

Two classes only of newcomers were recognized in 
the neighbourhood — those who came armed with due 
credentials, and were forthwith called upon by the 
county, and those who settled down without introduc- 
147 


The Way of Escape 

tion, and crept into modest social relations through 
the friendly medium of the kirk or the meeting-house. 

Vera might have belonged to either of these classes. 
She deliberately elected to belong to neither, and, in 
doing so, of course, she reckoned without her host. 
She had learned that the way of peace lay in escaping 
observation, and she did not know that in the country 
parishes of Scotland in those days no one could escape 
observation who did not go to church. 

We often say that youth fails to see the magnitude of 
the task it has undertaken, but surely we are wrong. 
What youth mercifully fails to see are the details of the 
task. From below the foreshortened track looks clear 
as a ribbon; but, as we ascend, how it bristles with 
difficulties, and often seems to vanish altogether ! 

For the first few weeks Vera was very busy putting 
her house in order. The farmer called it a furnished 
house, but she certainly described it more aptly as the 
skeleton of a furnished house ” ; and she keenly en- 
joyed the process of putting fiesh on its bones. Indeed, 
she was glad" of a task that called out her ordinary 
faculties to honest hard work, for the breaking-off of 
her ties in Brussels had involved an emotional strain 
on which she did not yet venture to look back. Mrs. 
Trevithick had been disposed at first to treat the situa- 
tion very airily. My dear, I have no intention of en- 
tering into an argument,” she had said. Talk it out 
with Captain Dunbar. He is quite capable of fighting 
his own battles. But you must see him. After all that 
has come and gone you would not be such a coward as 
to escape with a letter.” 

So Vera set her teeth, and prepared to go through 
with the task. She felt strong as a rock to withstand 
148 


“Who // the Potter, Pray?” 


Captain Dunbar’s reproaches, but the first half-minute 
of the interview changed all that. He brought with 
him into the room a blast of sheer determination and 
virility that set her trembling like a reed. How she 
withstood it she never knew. At first he was playful, 
gentle, caressing; but, as he began to realize that he 
could not move her, he broke into a tempest of scorn 
and anger, and threw at her words that cut like knives. 

Then at last calmness returned to her — absolute 
calmness. Drawing herself to her full height, she 
turned a fine ashen face up to his. 

Have done ! ” she said in a low voice tense with 
feeling. It is true. I am not a good woman. Now 
will you leave me in peace, and torture me no more ? ” 

What happened after that she did not know; what 
impression he carried away she could only guess. In 
any case her credit was safe, drearily safe, in his hands, 
and the credit of her sex had sunk in his estimation for 
evermore. The woman of his choice had proved at best 
a heartless flirt. 

Come what might, she must not risk an experience 
like that again. She must live in a corner and know 
no one save the children and the poor folk round about. 
No man yet had looked upon her as a sister, so she must 
simply have done with men. But for the children, she 
had better have gone into a nunnery outright. 


149 


CHAPTEE XXII 


THE PARISH MINISTER 

If you please. Miss, that is Mr. Bartlett, the parish 
minister.” 

Vera turned pale. She had overlooked the fact that 
there were such institutions as parish ministers. She 
must refuse to see him, of course, and yet — would it 
not be better to be interviewed once for all, and explain 
what her aims and anticipations really were? True to 
her principle of taking the day by the horns,” she 
mustered her courage and went downstairs. 

The minister was a big, kind, burly-looking man 
with an honest smile. Vera had certainly not been 
brought up with any superstitious reverence for the 
cloth, but she felt an instinctive regret that she could 
not avail herself of his friendship. Xo matter: that 
was one of the things in life that must simply be fore- 
gone. 

“Entbehren sollst du, sollst entbehren — ” 

He was accustomed to take the burden of the con- 
versation, so her task was an easy one ; but, of course, 
every word, every gesture, every silence was the word, 
the gesture, the silence of a cultured woman, and he 
became more interested in her each moment. 

And what brought you to this part of the coun- 
try ? ” he said at last. Have you friends here ? ” Of 
150 


The Parish Minister 

course he was well aware that nobody claimed her ac- 
quaintance. 

No/^ said Vera. That is why I came. I don’t 
wish to make acquaintances. I want to give myself up 
entirely to the education of my brothers and sisters. 
The oldest will go to school, but I can’t afford to send 
the others, even if I wished it.” 

The minister looked at her with a shrewd enig- 
matical smile. ^^Well, now that you are settled, I 
hope we shall have the pleasure of seeing you all at 
church.” 

She could not have believed that her answer would 
involve so great an effort. I am afraid not,” she said 
simply. 

^^You are a dissenter?” 

No. Well, yes — she smiled. I never thought 
of myself in that light, but I suppose I am. My father 
was a man of science.” 

The minister’s smile was very fatherly. ^^And is 
science incompatible with church-going ? ” 

She found an unexpected difficulty in answering the 
question, I don’t think it would be very honest on 
my part to go to church, and — to tell the truth — the 
temptation hitherto has not been very strong.” There 
was just the shadow of a graceful compliment in the 
hitherto.” 

And what about these young brothers and sisters 
in whom you are so interested?” 

I don’t say anything to dissuade them from going 
to church.” 

But, my dear young lady, is not this a matter in 
which example' is everything ? ” 

She smiled. There are so many bogies in life 
151 


The Way of Escape 

without making one of Example. Besides, they had 
their mother^s example for years.’’ 

“ She was a religious woman, then ? ” 

Yes.” 

Poor thing, poor thing ! Don’t you think you are 
taking a very heavy responsibility ? ” 

I am not afraid of responsibility,” said Vera 
bravely. In any case, it does not all rest on my shoul- 
ders. The elder children remember their father’s 
teaching very well. I honestly don’t know what they 
think of these things. I suppose we all have a ^ buried 
life ’ of some kind, and I act on the conviction that 
even a child’s buried life is its castle.” 

^^And do you mean to say they gave up church- 
going the moment they were not compelled to go ? ” 
Well, you see,” said Vera honestly, that element 
in their lives had been frightfully overdone, poor mites. 
They were always at church, and their memories are a 
regular ^ sausage-book of chopped-up Bible.’ ” 

He looked at her with grave dignity, and she felt 
ashamed of the flippant remark, notwithstanding its 
distinguished source. 

" That is a good thing,” he said quietly. 

Is it ? ” She threw back her head with her little 
gesture of proud deflance. There are glorious things 
in the Bible — glorious, but do those children see them ? 
Hot a bit. The most wonderful poetry and battle- 
music has been made a mere hackneyed form of words 
to them. And it is not want of power of appreciation. 
You should hear them read Longfellow and Poe.” 

But it 'will come' back to them, it will come back 
to them.” 

Will it ? I don’t know. I am interested to see.” 
153 


The Parish Minister 


Obviously she spoke the truth. Her face had assumed 
the childlike expression of which sorrow seemed unable 
to rob her, the expression of one looking forth on life 
with the young eyes of heathen wonder.’’ 

And don’t you read the Bible with them at all ? ” 
All my books are at their disposal. As a matter of 
fact, I should think they have any number of Bibles of 
their own. But I am sure the best thing they can do 
is to forget the Bible for a year or two, and come back 
to it with a fresh mind.” 

He shook his head. In my last children’s sermon 
I was telling the bairns the story of a boy whose father 
sent him to fetch water in a basket. Over and over 
again he returned with it empty, but each time his 
father sent him hack. At last the hoy said, ^Why do 
you send me so often ? I never can bring the water in 
this.’ ^ True,’ said the father : ^ but do you not see how 
clean the basket has grown ? ’ ” 

Vera smiled : she tried not to laugh. It is a patri- 
archal view of education, isn’t it?” she said. 

The minister rose to go. His eye rested with fresh 
interest on the books and pictures, the artistically ar- 
ranged flowers, and he wondered how she meant to 
live up to this level with only a maid-of-all-work. 

That was a nice sensible-looking woman who 
opened the door to me,” he said. Does she belong to 
this part of the country ? ” 

Her home is some ten miles off.” Vera was glad 
to And herself on neutral ground. Oh, she is the 
comfort of my life, and I fell in with her in rather a 
curious way. I was travelling down to make arrange- 
ments about this house, and I noticed in a general way 
that there was a sonsy, sensible-looking woman in the 
153 


The Way of Escape 

carriage. At a wayside station a man got in who was 
just a little the worse for liquor. He took an empty 
pipe from his mouth and began to fill it in a very busi- 
nesslike way. ^ Excuse me/ I said, ^ this is not a smok- 
ing carriage.’ A gaucherie on my part, wasn’t it? 
Well, he made the most of it. ‘ And who said I was 
going to smoke ? ’ he asked rudely. I backed out, of 
course, but he wouldn’t let me alone. He repeated 
the question, edging nearer in a very uncomfortable 
way. ^ Who said I was going to smoke ? I had ta’en 
the pipe frae my mouth ’ Suddenly, in the oppo- 

site corner, a deliverer arose. ^ Weel, ye’d better shut 
your mouth noo that the pipe’s out o’ it.’. It was mag- 
nificent.” 

“ And how did he take it ? ” 

“ Take it ? He collapsed. From that moment I 
had no farther trouble. He had no eyes for any one 
but her. I never saw such whole-hearted admiration in 
my life. He wanted to see her home, but unfortunately 
I had designs on her too by that time, and here she is.” 

She told the little story with a combined force and 
simplicity that amazed the minister. A light hand in 
conversation was not a common gift in that part of the 
country. Altogether he went away in a mood of great 
perplexity. It was difficult to see where his duty lay. 
He was not even quite a free agent in the matter, for 
it so happened that his wife was a thoroughly worldly 
woman. It was absurd to take so young and pretty a 
woman as Miss Carruthers seriously ; and yet there was 
no getting over the fact that she was a householder, 
and the legal guardian of the children. The case was 
completely out of his heat ; and he was almost as much 
taken aback as was the worthy priest who found himself 
154 


The Parish Minister 


accosted in the confessional with the astounding words, 
Mon pere, je suis protestante” 

A young woman^s face may go far to atone for the 
audacity of her words, and the minister’s feeling for 
Vera was a kindly one; but he had to say something 
when people questioned him about her, and, by no ill- 
will of his, the refraction she underwent in passing 
through his temperament did not add to her attractive- 
ness in the eyes of the world that judged her. 


11 


155 


CHAPTER XXIII 


THE CHILDREN- 

The children had been playing bear ” in the wood 
adjoining the farm. It was a glorious evening for a 
romp in the mellow light over the crisp aromatic pine- 
needles ; but long before the enthusiasm of the others 
had cooled, Harold grew tired of the game. 

Let’s go for a walk/’ he said to Judith. Xo; you 
small fry can do something else.” 

Judith’s face flushed with pleasure. After Sir 
Philip Sidney, Harold was her hero. 

For a long time they talked of their plans ” — those 
delicious plans, aglow with a light as elusive as the 
tints of the rainbow — then, as the sun was setting, they 
climbed a great pile of straw, and lay full length with 
young eyes fixed on the sky. 

There was a long silence. From far, far away came 
the plaintive sound of a church-bell. 

Judith heaved a deep sigh. This sort of night — ” 
she said. 

“ Well?” 

— always makes me think of Mother.” 

^^Does it?” 

Do you know, Harold, I wonder whether it can he 
right not to go to church.” 

Father never went to church.” 

156 


The Children 


know — but so many people do.” 

I remember saying to him once, when I was a kid, 
that servants and uneducated people always seemed to 
believe the Bible.” 

" And what did he say ? ” 

" Nothing. He sort of smiled.” 

Betsy thinks it^s awful our not going to church.” 

She didn’t go herself last Sunday. I believe it has 
only just occurred to her that there isn’t a law on the 
subject.” 

Vera says Father was a very good man.” 

Harold laughed. I should just think he was.” 

And Vera is good, though she is queer, and Mother 
never liked her. Don’t you think so ? ” 

Harold hesitated. She’s nice,” he said judicially 
at last. 

" And when you think of J onah and the whale, it 
does seem rather — ridiculous.” 

It’s not only J onah and the whale,” said Harold, 
rousing himself. Do you remember when Mother 
used to read us Kitto on Sunday evenings ? ” 

Yes.” 

‘‘ Well, do you remember he gave a lot of other 
versions of the ^ Story of the Fall ’ ? They were all 
awfully like the Bible story, and some of them just as 
good. Why should we pick out one, and say it is in- 
spired by God, while the others are just nothing? I 
nearly said so to Mother; but she would only have 
sent me to bed.” 

And there used to be buns for supper on Sunday 
night,” mused Judith pensively. 

There was another silence. “Do you know,” said 
Judith, “ Aline still says her prayers.” 

157 


The Way of Escape 

Don’t you ? ” 

Well, kind of. I sometimes say them in bed. Do 
you ? ” 

Mother made me promise, so I’ve got to. I won- 
der she didn’t make you promise too.” 

You see she never thought she was going to die, 
and I suppose she thought Aunt Annie would bring us 
up. Do you know Vera found me reading that book 
Aunt Annie sent me on my birthday? I think she 
thought it was silly.” 

What did she say ? ” 

She just smiled, and said, ^ A children’s book ! ’ ” 

So it is,” said Harold with contempt. Give me 
Scott and Dickens. I can’t think why Mother never 
would let us read novels.” 

She was awfully kind, too, Harold, Mother was, 
when she wasn’t cross. Do you remember ? ” 

And then for a time with moist eyes they exchanged 
their pitiful little memories. 

Oh, yes ; she was kind,” Harold said. I would 
say my prayers, if I were you, Judith. It would please 
her if she knew, and it can’t do you any harm, but of 
course you needn’t tell Vera.” 

All right,” said J udith obediently, I will. I 
wonder what Eric thinks about it all ? ” 

Do you know I can’t guess. He’s awfully close 
about these things is Eric, for all he is such a kid.” 

Yes.” 

^^The fact is,” Harold concluded philosophically. 
Mother belonged to a time that is past.” 

^^And Father?” 

Oh, Father ” — his face glowed. Father belonged 

to the future ! ” 


158 


The Children 

Up to this time, much to her own surprise, Vera 
was still mainly occupied in looking on. The children 
were not very remarkable, but they took her breath 
away. She had to all intents and purposes been an 
only child, and she did not allow for the extent to 
which iron sharpens iron. She felt, too, the undesir- 
ability of coming into direct collision with their home 
teaching. Better let the ground lie fallow for a long 
summer. It would respond all the more surely when 
the time came. 

There were other excellent reasons for allowing the 
ground to lie fallow. The children came to her over- 
strained in emotion, and in the effort to be as emo- 
tional as the occasion demanded. Their general health 
had suffered, and there were various ailments, such as 
glands,’^ fits of stammering, and night terrors, to be 
overcome. So lessons were laid aside altogether, and 
they were allowed to run wild from morning to night. 

The many interests of the farm opened up a new 
life to them. They talked learnedly of the rotation of 
crops, the different varieties of clover, the points of a 
good cow. They knew by the look of the wool when 
a sheep was out of condition, and the threshing-ma- 
chine had scarcely begun to boom ” before they were 
primed with information abouc governor-balls and pis- 
tons and less comprehensible things. Vera had meant 
to answer their questions ; she was conscientiously read- 
ing The Book of the Farm ; but, with a fine instinct, the 
children preferred as a rule to apply to the labourers 
direct. She had looked forward to teaching them to 
observe ; but it seemed they were teaching her ; and she 
realized with a little stab of pain that what they mainly 
wanted from her was food and clothing. On wet days 
159 


The Way of Escape 

they pored over her books and asked endless questions 
about her pictures; and yet nothing was turning out 
just as she had anticipated. Plastic they were assur- 
edly, responding to every stimulus from without; but 
they always seemed to respond in a way she had not 
foreseen. Clearly they were governed by the law of 
their own development. Her Spencer should have pre- 
pared her for this, but it was a surprise nevertheless. 

She was amazed too, on the whole, at their good- 
ness. Life was so full of well-being and of fresh inter- 
ests that they scarcely knew what wishing meant. Cas- 
tle-building became a thing of the past in a world where 
castles were always appearing by magic in the night. 
From the time the harvest began, their life was a dream 
of delight. They rode to the fields in the empty carts, 
they helped to bind the sheaves, they thought the 
shearer’s bread and ale the most delicious food they had 
ever tasted, and they blossomed into a wealth of physical 
beauty that was a joy to behold. 

All the conditions of life were calculated to put 
their precocious ethical faculty to sleep, and, just be- 
cause she did not force it upon them, they drifted the 
more surely into their elder sister’s view that pleasure 
is the end of life. But we must not spoil it,” Vera 
would say, by being selfish.” Strange to say. Aline, 
who, under the old regime, had been the most religious 
of the children, was most susceptible to the new teach- 
ing. She was one of those who take their colour in a 
surprising degree from their environment. 

Vera had no intellectual doubts about the satisfac- 
toriness of the utilitarian theory of morals, and she had 
not yet learnt that the theory of life which we are pre- 
pared accurately to formulate is apt to be a stage be- 
160 


The Children 


hind the view of life on which we act. So there was a 
breezy inconsistency abont her incidental precepts. Her 
admiration for a heroic deed bore little relation to 
its use; and the wine of her teaching on the subject 
of truthfulness put a heavy strain on the bottles in 
which .she enclosed it. 

Looking from the window one day, she saw Judith 
running towards the house with a basket of eggs in 
her hand: a few minutes later the child entered the 
room, looking white and seared. 

What’s the matter?” asked Vera. 

“ Nothing.” 

Sure ? ” 

Quite sure.” And Judith began to sing, and pres- 
ently danced out of the room. 

All day she was very quiet, and even her appetite 
failed. Vera resolved to let her have a night of re- 
morse; but, on the way to her own room, she heard 
a restless movement and a stifled sigh. She went in, 
and sat down by Judith’s bed. 

Well, old girl, it wasn’t worth it, was it? ” 

Two hot little arms were thrown round her neck. 

Oh, Vera, Vera, I broke two eggs, and I told a lie ! ” 

It seemed a help at the time, didn’t it ? But what 
a fraud it turned out! Judith, dear, don’t lie ever, 
ever. Hold your head high, and live royally.” 
won’t do it ever again.” 

" And, if you do, own up though it kills you. No 
matter how great a fool you make of yourself. It is 
the only way.” 

“ I believe God sent you, Vera. I was praying ” 

Vera felt as if a slight electric shock had passed 
through her. When it is a question of a lie or of a 
161 


The Way of Escape 

bit of meanness,” she said, don^t stop to think about 
it, or to pray. Treat it as you would a spider on your 
naked arm. Shake it off!” 

“ Do you think I must tell Kirsty ? ” 

" That depends on how brave you are. Good-night, 
dear girl.” 

In the middle of her own room Vera stopped short 
with clenched hands. Happy little J udith with her 
shriven soul ! . . . 

But alas, alas, for my own vineyard! ” 


1G2 


CHAPTER XXIV 


A DORCAS MEETING 

Well, all I can say is,” said Mrs. Bartlett, laying 
down her work, “that her parents have a great deal 
to answer for.” 

“ I call it simply outrageous,” said a rather angular 
lady. 

The doctor’s wife held up a piece of smocking, and 
regarded it with a critical eye. “ Adds a new terror to 
life, doesn’t it?” she observed half absently. 

“ To think that it should happen in a Christian 
land ! ” said benevolent-looking Mrs. Wright. 

“ With an open Bible before her ! ” 

“ Some one ought to give her a good talking-to,” 
said the angular lady. 

Mrs. Raeburn, a young matron with a bright fair 
face, gathered courage at this point to intervene. “ Do 
you think,” she said with brave timidity, “ that we 
know enough to judge ? ” 

Mrs. Bartlett looked at the speaker severely from 
above her spectacles. “ It seems to me we know quite 
enough. Did you hear what she said when Mr. Bartlett 
sent the children some books from the lending li- 
brary ? ” 

“ Xo.” 

“ That, until their taste was formed, she preferred 
that they should confine themselves to literature’^ 

163 


The Way of Escape 

And what were the books ? 

Sunset in Provence, and some of A.L.O.E/s 

Comment from Mrs. Raeburn was rendered needless 
by a chorus of Well! 

What she wants is a good setting-down.” 

Mrs. Dunlop, the doctor’s wife, looked up from her 
smocking. It is a comfort,” she said drily, to think 
that that is the commodity which life is most sure to 
supply.” 

Oh, no doubt she will live to regret it ; but by that 
time the children’s characters will he formed. ^ Train 
up a child in the way he should go.’ ” 

I really think some one ought to speak to her,” 
pursued the angular lady. 

“ Well, why not undertake it ? ” 

I think Mrs. Bartlett should be the one.” 

Mrs. Bartlett shrugged her shoulders. I don’t see 
that she is at all likely to come in my way. You can’t 
call on people you know nothing about.” 

But as the minister’s wife ” 

As the minister’s wife, I make it my duty to call 
on everyone who comes to church. My private circle is 
another thing. I confess I like to know something 
about the people I speak to.” 

This reasonable sentiment was greeted with a little 
chorus of assent. 

And this girl doesn’t want to be called on, it 
seems.” 

“I wonder why,” mused Mrs. Wright. 

Perhaps she means to invite down friends of her 

own.” 

Then I’d like to know where she means to put 
them up.” 


164 


A Dorcas Meeting 

Entertaining costs money, and she doesn’t seem 
to be rich.” 

Rich! She was in the butcher’s the other day 

when I went in to pay my weekly bill At this 

point the speaker’s voice sank to an undertone. Her 
quota of information was adapted only to the ears of 
a select few. 

It was some minutes before the conversation came 
above ground again. 

Depend upon it,” said Mrs. Bartlett, there is 
something wrong somewhere. I don’t believe in smoke 
without fire. There’s always water where there’s tur- 
keys drowned. Is it likely that she wouldn’t wi&h to 
make acquaintances unless there was a good reason ? ” 

But I thought I understood,” said a timid voice, 
that she is an atheist f ” 

If she is an atheist, depend upon it the mischief 
hasn’t stopped there. Pull one stick out of the bundle, 
and the rest will all fall through.” 

One stick!” said Mrs. Wright, with genuine feel- 
ing. And if the stick be the whole lynch-pin of 
life?” 

“ In any case we need seek for no further explana- 
tion. She must know that we don’t wish our children to 
associate with atheists.” 

Mrs. Dunlop laughed. I am not partial to athe- 
ists,” she said ; but as her father was one before her, 
it is not likely that she is sensitive on that score. I ex- 
pect she rather plumes herself on her ^ philosophical 
position.’ It is much more probable that she thinks we 
are not clever and cultured enough to be worth her 
while.” There was just a touch of personal feeling in 
the remark. Mrs. Dunlop felt that she had sacrificed a 
165 


The Way of Escape 

good deal in giving up her intellectual interests in Edin- 
burgh for — such conversation as this. I shouldn’t 
wonder in the least if Lady Laurie takes her up. She 
isn’t bowed down by the weight of her orthodoxy, and 
she loves eccentrics.” 

Lady Laurie has often done imprudent and inde- 
fensible things,” Mrs. Bartlett answered severely ; “ but 
I have never known her encourage — impertinence.” 

When Mrs. Bartlett pronounced impertinence ” in 
that tone, she made one feel that she had all but 
touched the bottom of the pit of iniquity. 

The situation was becoming almost too acute, and 
kind Mrs. Wright intervened. 1 saw the children 
the other day,” she said. They certainly look the 
picture of health, and very happy.” 

Poor little heathen lambs ! ” 

And their girl told my Susan that their eldest 
sister is most devoted to them.” 

Well, I don’t suppose it will do the smallest good, 
but I do think one of us should deliver our soul.” 

Our common soul,” said Mrs. Dunlop sotto voce. 

Mrs. Kaeburn took courage to speak again. Souls 
are not so cheaply delivered,” she said a little breath- 
lessly. If we are to deliver our souls, we must get 
to know Miss Carruthers, and find out what she is 
aiming at. We must win her friendship before we have 
any right to deliver our souls in a matter that, after all ' 
is no affair of ours.” 

Mrs. Wright looked at the speaker kindly. 

Don’t you think,” she said in motherly fashion, that 
it is wiser first to let her find out her mistake? She 
can’t isolate herself in this way. We are members one 
of another.” 


166 


A Dorcas Meeting 

That is what I think. If she refuses to see me, 
I cannot help it. I mean to call.” 

Everyone looked up in surprise. Mrs. Kaeburn was 
young and shy, and only Mrs. Wright appreciated her 
moral force ; but her husband was a man of mark in 
their small world, and his position was an argument 
that appealed to all. 

I rather think I shall call,” said Mrs. Dunlop dis- 
passionately. But there are so many claims on one’s 
time.” 

Well, I am sure it is very kind of you both. It 
seems asking a good deal that we should lay ourselves 
open to a snub from a mere girl like that.” 

The two volunteers were by no means the delegates 
the meeting would have chosen; but nothing more was 
said to dissuade them. It would at least be interesting 
to hear how they were received. 

The conversation flagged after that, and a few min- 
utes later the meeting closed with prayer. 

Mrs. Wright and Mrs. Eaeburn walked home to- 
gether. The cheeks of the latter were burning still. 

Oh,” she said, when I listen to talk like that, I say 
to myself — ^ Then has Christ died in vain!^” 


167 


CHAPTEK XXV 


‘‘not at HOME''"' 

“ Then I’m to say ye’re out, am I ? ” said Betsy 
with a sniff. 

“ No,” reiterated Vera with patient insistence. 
“ Say I am not at home. The lady will understand.” 

“ Understand that ye’re out or that ye’re in ? ” 

“ Understand that I am not at home — not receiving 
visitors.” 

“ Do ye no think ye’d better tell her that yersel’ ? ” 

“ Oh, Betsy, do go/’ Vera was losing patience. 
Betsy was a Scotch servant of the old school, equal to 
a modern staff of four. She washed, she ironed, she 
scrubbed, she cooked, she baked — and she ruled her mis- 
tress with a rod of iron. 

Vera was startled to hear a lengthy colloquy taking 
place at the door. When Betsy returned, the sniff had 
developed into a snort. “ Weel,” she said, “ see when 
I’ll do the like o’ that again ! ” 

“ What happened ? ” 

“ Happened ! she seemed rael pit out. She asked 
if ye was out for a walk like, or if ye was away from 
home.” 

“And what did you say?” 

“ Me ! What would I say ? I said first the ae thing 
and then the tither, and then I said I didna know.” 

“ Oh, Betsy, how could you ? ” 

The sight of Vera’s dismay mollified the termagant. 

168 


“Not at Home” 


she said, ^^ye’d wonder. But when aince Fd 
got my tongue round the ae lee, it took quite kindly 
to a’ the rest.^^ 

Betsy went down on her knees, and proceeded nois- 
ily to adjust the fire-irons. It would have relieved her 
feelings to swear or to give notice, but she dared not 
venture on the former indulgence, and the latter had 
not yet become the fashion. She could not have told 
why she liked Vera; but she did like her none the less, 
and she longed to see her mistress respectit like the 
lave.^^ What was the meaning of this ridiculous whim 
about not seeing visitors? It just caused a talk, and 
brought a lot of young men about the place, pretending 
they’d lost their way, or wanted a glass of milk. Then 
Vera had a maddening way of simply ignoring her 
servant’s ill-temper, instead of demanding an explana- 
tion. She chose to ignore it now. 

^^Mrs. Eaeburn,” she said refiectively, looking at 
the cards. ^^Well, she’s gone at any rate. You must 
see, Betsy, that my hands are full enough without wast- 
ing time over afternoon calls.” 

Betsy left the room, not deigning a reply; and a 
minute later a gust of autumn wind swept mournfully 
round the house. Vera stretched herself with a sigh 
of infinite weariness. 

Oh,” she said, I am so bored, so bored, so 
bored ! Where in all the world shall I find strength to 
go on ? ” 

There had been many threatenings of this mood, 
but for the first time it could not be evaded. What 
sort of life was this for a woman of her gifts ? What 
did it amount to anyway ? Cheese-paring economy, in- 
tellectual isolation, stocking-darning ! 

169 


The Way of Escape 

She had told herself that there was no one in this 
quiet country place whose opinion could possibly mat- 
ter to her, but she had to endure her quota of stabs and 
pinpricks none the less. Sometimes in a shop a lady 
would look at her askance, or she fancied that the 
farm-labourers and their wives were less respectful 
than their wont. Sometimes in the street, or in the 
old-fashioned coach, a man would glance at her with 
sudden interest, as though he would fain see more of 
the owner of that face; and it might be perhaps that 
she felt an absurd wish to see more of him, or at least 
to have him know how clever she was, how sympathetic, 
how nice.” 

If she had married Captain Dunbar, she would now 
have been travelling about Europe, admired, flattered 
— meeting cultured people everywhere — ^becoming every 
day a more perfect thing. She would have had some one 
to anticipate her smallest wish, to admire her inconse- 
quent moods, to worship her very faults. And now, 
what? She was deliberately educating herself out of 
everything that men had most admired in her. And 
for what? For four very ordinary children who took 
it all as a matter of course, who thought her too im- 
pulsive for so old a woman. So old a woman! It made 
her grey to think of their conception of her. If she had 
left them to their aunt, contenting herself with the easy 
role of Fairy Godmother, the children would have 
loved her better, and she would in the long run have 
influenced them more. It had all been amusing enough 
while it was new; but now the glamour was gone, and 
she must go on and on and on, till she was old and ugly, 
and men no longer gave her a second glance. She had 
taken such pride in her little home, and what did it 


“Not at Home” 


amount to after all her labour? A commonplace little 
farmhouse, touched up here and there into tawdriness. 
What a fool she had been — what an unutterable fool ! 

It was natural that in this mood Captain Dunbar 
should seem the most desirable of men — his presence 
the one thing required to make life perfect. Going up 
to her sanctum, she threw herself on the cushions, and 
gave herself up to a tempest of pagan regret. 

It was a queer little room. The children were sel- 
dom admitted to it; but Judith and Aline looked on 
it as a bit out of the Arabian Nights. The floor was 
polished and carpeted with one or two handsome rugs. 
There were no chairs — only delicious cushions, and a 
quaint oak cabinet contained a few choice books and a 
good violin. From the ceiling hung a number of bril- 
liant Eastern lamps. This shall be my oasis,^’ Vera 
had said. ^^And a nice kind of life it must be,’’ she 
added now, to which this could serve as an oasis ! ” 

The violin had been untouched since her stepmother 
died, but she took it now from its case, and tuned it 
carefully. Then she placed it in position and began. 

Her technical training was not very great; but she 
made it the vehicle for all the feeling it could carry. 
Simple plaintive airs seemed to quiver on the brink of 
tears, and the violin took on a voice that was almost 
human. It sobbed, it wept ; it filled the house with such 
a longing as those homely old rooms could scarcely have 
known before. 

“ Nur wer die Sehnsucht kennt, 

Weiss was ich leide — ” 

For once with her whole heart she let herself go. 

Then by degrees there crept in a statelier tone. She 
had never accustomed the instrument to talk to her 
12 171 


The Way of Escape 

only of things like these. It spoke now with halting 
faith of — 

‘ ‘ The high that seemed too high, the heroic for earth too hard. 
The passion that left the earth to lose itself in the sky. ” 

Was it anywhere — anywhere really — the greatness 
that echoed in the dauntless expectancy of this poor 
heart of hers ? 

Her face was very calm when she put the violin 
gently back into its case. 

Did we undertake this thing deliberately, and 
have we in our darkest moments the smallest intention 
of giving it up? Ho? Then at least, my friend, we 
wonT pule ! 

On the mat outside sat Aline, her eyes brimming 
over with tears. 

^^Vera,” she sobbed, ^^why did you stop? I love 
you, I love you, Vera ! ” 

A few yards farther off was Betsy, her eyes sus- 
piciously dim. I’ve redd up your drawers while you 
was fiddlin’,” said she severely. See and keep them 
right.” 

And so for that time the tyranny was overpast. 


172 


CHAPTER XXVI 


TAKEN BY STORM 

The snow had fallen continuously for six and thirty 
hours, and the children were wild with glee. Traffic 
was stopped on the railway, telegraph wires were break- 
ing down, animals in the fields were in danger of being 
frozen to death. Yes ; it was all very dreadful, but, on 
the other hand, something was happening, and what 
could be more inspiriting than that ? 

Ain’t I just jolly glad that I got home from school 
first ! ” said Harold. Why, it may be days and days 
before I can get back again.” 

Oh, Harold, you ungrateful boy ! ” said Judith 
wistfully. “ If only I were lucky enough to go to school, 
I should never want snow to keep me away.” 

J ust wait till you have tried it, madam. Oh, hang 
Horace ! ” 

Judith was one of the cases, not infrequent in those 
days, of the devoted sister at home who tried to keep 
pace with her brother’s reading at school or college; 
and the joy of Harold’s Saturdays was just a little 
tempered by the persistency with which she dogged him 
round, book in hand, until he had thrown light on some 
passage which she and Vera had failed to construe. 
Vera’s great idea was that the children should work at 
natural science, as their father had done before them. 
She saw little use in the pursuit of dead languages ; but 
173 


The Way of Escape 

Judith took to learning so easily and lightheartedly 
that there was no room for complaint. She seemed able 
to accomplish without over-exertion quite twice as much 
as the ordinary school-girl. 

Lessons had begun in earnest a few months before, 
and, after the long summer’s rest, the progress of the 
children was remarkable. It was a great encourage- 
ment to Vera to work hard, and she certainly spared 
herself in no way. 

Oh, I say,” exclaimed Aline, bursting into the 
room, ^‘do just come to the stair window. You canft 
see a thing!” 

This seductive description caused a general stam- 
pede. 

What fun it will be playing bear after this ! We 
can have a real snow hut.” 

Yes, and we’ll light a fire and see if it is true that 
the snow doesn’t melt.” 

Oh, you silly ! You don’t suppose it is as cold here 
as in the backwoods ? ” 

Eric discreetly changed the subject. " I wonder 
how thick the ice is on the duck-pond. We’ll make ice- 
bergs and send the pirates in search of the North 
Pole.” 

This suggestion was greeted with a little grunt of 
approval, for the Captive Princess game had long since 
reached a degree of perfection that was incompatible 
with further existence. Hephzibah ” had found a 
watery grave, but not before her understudy had been 
well qualified by the loss of several important members 
to undertake the part. 

“You know we ought to be helping Vera,” Aline 
said presently. “ Come along.” 

174 


Taken by Storm 

It happened unfortunately that Betsy had gone 
home for a day’s holiday, and there seemed little pros- 
pect at present of getting her back. Kirsty, the farm 
girl, had come in to light the fires and do the roughest 
part of the work; but Vera’s hands were a good deal 
fuller than usual. Betsy or no Betsy, there must be an 
extra good dinner when Harold was at home. 

You have done so much already,” she said with the 
rather laborious kindness which suggests an unreason- 
able temptation to be cross. It is nearly time to set 
the table now. Who is going to do that ? ” 

I will.” 

« I will.” 

Oh, Vera, since Betsy is away, donH you think we 
might have dinner in the kitchen ? ” 

It’s so cosy ! ” 

“And clean!” 

“ And you can see the farm and the road. There’s 
nothing to be seen from the dining-room except the 
garden.” 

“Just for once, Vera!” 

“Lers./” 

Vera laughed and yielded. It was impossible to 
say what absurdity the children would not regard as a 
ploy. “ But remember you must make the table even 
prettier than usual,” she said. 

The girls set to work with a will, while Harold sat 
on the dresser and criticised. Their task was just com- 
pleted when Eric came rushing from his watch-tower at 
the top of the house. 

“ Oh, I say, such news ! ” he cried, breathless. “ A 
carriage has stuck in the snow. The horse is dead beat, 
and can’t move another inch. They have sent the 
175 


The Way of Escape 

groom to Bobbie’s cottage. What will they do ? ” And, 
scarcely waiting to see the effect of his words, he hur- 
ried back. 

Vera’s heart stood still. The nearest occupied house 
was more than a mile away. If a carriage had stuck 
in the snow within a hundred yards of her home, she 
must offer its occupants shelter. The contingency 
would have been an unpleasant one at any time ; but 
to-day — with Betsy away, and dinner laid in the 
kitchen ! 

Spades were procured as quickly as possible, and by 
dint of heaving, and shovelling, and pushing, and pull- 
ing, and a great deal of shouting, the dog-cart reached 
the back of the farm. 

Vera went to the door, very erect, almost queenly, 
in her working-dress. Pray come in,” she said with 
as much cordiality as she could muster. ‘‘ You must be 
half frozen.” 

A man of about thirty-five, with a fine, clear-cut 
face, had sprung from the cart. He raised his hat 
with a look of frank appeal that was very disarming. 

You are very kind,” he said. I am afraid we are 
taking your hospitality by storm.” Then, turning 
back to the dog-cart, he lifted his companion to the 
ground. 

In spite of her furs, the lady was blue with cold, but 
her smile was bright and cordial. Perhaps we had 
better begin by introducing ourselves,” she said. I 
called on you some months ago — Mrs. Eaeburn. This 
is my husband. And you, I think, are Miss Carruthers.” 
She held out her hand with a generous simplicity that 
went straight to Vera’s heart. 

You would like a hot mash for the horse, I am 
176 


Taken by Storm 

sure/’ Vera said. ^^You will see to it, Dobbie, won’t 
you ? They are sure to have hot water in the bothy.” 

The groom led the horse away, and the others en- 
tered the house. 

“ It seems inexplicable that we should be in such 
straits three miles from home, but the fact is — we have 
been visiting friends at Castlehill, some twenty miles 
away. The snow seemed crisp and rather inviting when 
we started; but latterly every mile has increased our 
difficulties. We should have stopped at Braefoot, but 
it was of the first importance to my husband to get 
home to-day, and we hoped to push through.” 

“ The worst of it is,” he said quietly, looking out of 
the window in the hall, that there does not seem the 
smallest prospect of our getting any farther.” 

There was something almost pitiful in the eloquence 
of Vera’s face. One half of her so obviously longed to 
be rid of them; the other half held out such friendly 
arms. 

Mrs. Raeburn laughed. Would you like to put us 
in the stable ? ” she said. An hour ago we should have 
been thankful even for that.” 

Vera smiled and blushed. Clearly there was noth- 
ing for it but to throw down the barricades. 

I have a large staff of servants,” she said, com- 
prised in the person of one maid-of-all-work ; but she 
is snowbound at her home to-day. I hope you won’t 
mind dining in the kitchen.” 

Mr. Raeburn extended the hand that had held the 
reins. It was cramped with cold. Dine in the 
kitchen?” he said. “It is simply the most inviting 
prospect of my life.” 

And indeed the old farmhouse kitchen was the finest 
177 


The Way of Escape 

room in the house — high and roomy, with great rafters 
overhead. A collection of hams hung from mighty 
hooks, a patriarchal saut-kist stood by the ingle-neuk, 
and the whole place was spotless and bright as only 
Betsy’s hands could have made it. The great fireplace 
radiated forth a promise of spice and savour that well- 
nigh brought tears to half-frozen eyes, and in the midst 
of all this stood a table covered with spotless linen, and 
daintily adorned with sprays of dark green ivy. The 
Eaeburns had been prepared for something unusual. 
They were taken by surprise. 

‘^It is like a bit out of a fairy-book,” said Mrs. 
Raeburn, her face beaming over with joyousness and 
good-will. Lost in the snow — no hope of rescue — 
when, hey presto ! — a snow-wreath gives way, and, in- 
stead of sinking to destruction, one finds oneself in a 
world of light and warmth and colour.” 

Her husband drew a long breath of content. And 
we are going to take it all for granted,” he said, just 
as people do in the fairy-books. Tell me — ” he turned 
to Aline. "You have been in fairyland since I have. 
You don’t apologize to the Fairy Queen, do you? ” 

Aline looked thoughtful. " I don’t thinlc so,” she 
said seriously, conscientiously casting her mind over a 
wide range of bibliography, " but she sees you think it 
all very nice.” 

Mr. Raeburn turned a pair of smiling, chivalrous 
eyes full upon Vera. " Ah, she can’t fail to see much 
more than that,” he said. 

And so it came about that they all sat down with a 
simplicity and brotherliness that ought to be so com- 
mon in this world of ours ! 

It was Judith’s turn to wait, and she did it very 
178 


Taken by Storm 

deftly for her size, though the presence of visitors 
brought an unusual colour to her cheeks. There was 
some competition as to who should help her when help 
was needed, and the whole feast was carried on with 
an absence of pretension that was pretty to see. Vera 
had mulled some of the thin farmhouse ale, and a cup 
of delicious French coffee completed the repast. 

Mr. Eaeburn turned to Aline again. I think,’’ he 
said, it can’t be a breach of etiquette to congratulate 
the Fairy Queen on her cordon hleu” 

Vera smiled, well-pleased. It had all been very nice 
— just the sort of simple dinner that a Frenchwoman 
understands so well; and the children could not have 
behaved better if she had coached them beforehand. 

For herself — it was a humiliating confession, but 
there was no denying that the presence of new people 
— sympathetic people — was like an elixir of life. She 
realized for the first time into what a rut of monotony 
and depression she had been sinking. Mrs. Wright well 
might say, as a greater than she had said before her — 
“We are members one of another.” 


179 


CHAPTEE XXVII 


SNOWED UP 

The minute I woke yesterday morning/^ Aline 
was saying excitedly, I knew something was going to 
happen. You know the feeling one has? And you 
see I was right. First Harold came — well, I was ex- 
pecting him — and then there was the snow; and to- 
day — you!’’ 

I wish it would snow for days and weeks,’’ chimed 
in J udith hungrily, and then you couldn’t get away. 
Do you know what you are like? You are like a 
draught of water in a thirsty land.” 

“ We don’t see many people here,” Eric explained. 

And now that Harold has gone to school-^ 

Vera’s face flushed. She had caught the little con- 
versation by accident as she entered the parlour. She 
had found out a good deal about children within the 
last year; but she had yet to learn how mercilessly 
they can give one away. 

It was a very friendly snowstorm that brought 
us here,” said Mrs. Eaeburn warmly. " I think it is 
quite wrong that you should have anyone so nice and 
so clever as your sister Vera all to yourselves.” 

^^Yes, indeed.” Mr. Eaeburn rose to make room 
for his hostess in the circle round the fire. I don’t 
think we can allow it any more.” 

Vera bit her lip. There had been no one to repre- 
180 


Snowed Up 

sent this view of the matter to the children hitherto, 
and she was appalled to find how the seclusion of the 
past months had robbed her, as she fancied, of the 
savoir-vivre that enables one to wear an unmoved face 
above all the waves beneath. 

Mr. Eaeburn stretched out his feet to the blazing 
fire with the air of one who feels himself at home. 

I simply can^t realize,” he said, that I have never 
been here before. I know that I shall want to prowl 
about presently, and look at all the interesting things.” 

Vera hesitated for a moment, and then raised her 
eyes. The room must suggest so many questions to 
the mind behind that face. ^^You shall do whatever 
you like,” she said simply. 

“ Now?” 

She nodded. ^^Now.” 

The house had been metamorphosed since the min- 
ister's visit by the importation of Mr. Carruthers’ 
library. Books clothed the two sitting-rooms on the 
ground floor, peeped from niches in the hall like ferns 
from an old wall, and blossomed out at random in the 
bedrooms upstairs. One does not often see such a 
library. Science, of course, predominated largely. 
Vera^s father had laid a ruthless hand on the old di- 
vines that had come down to him, but there were some 
even of these whom he would not sacrifice; and what of 
Chaucer, and Shakespeare, and Burns, and even good 
John Galt ? The artist is for us all. 

Mr. Raeburn scanned the books for a long time in 
silence, and then turned to Vera with a sigh and a 
smile. “ How illiterate one is ! ” 

Dreadfully ! ” she agreed. But, in spite of herself, 
her voice had a note of expectancy that was wanting 
181 


The Way of Escape 

in his. Ten years makes such a difference in a human 
outlook. 

I wonder how much of all this will live P ” 

Oh, a great deal."” She was representing her 
father now, and did not notice her own arrogance. Her 
finger ran along some rows of well-known names, and 
of others that were less familiar. Many, of course, 
were splendid leaps in the dark made just too soon.” 

Ah ! ” She seemed to have struck a line of 
thought that was his own. It is a wonderful thing 
that leap — that scientific insight and prevision. The 
scientific genius is so like the old Hebrew prophet. 
He singles out the essential from the mass of facts be- 
fore him, and then — lifts up his eyes.” 

She looked dubious. ‘^He mustn’t lift them up 
too far.” 

Mr. Raeburn smiled. Perhaps Vera’s father had 
been one of those who never raise their eyes from the 
mass of facts before them. That would explain why 
the world had not heard his name. There is not 
much use lifting them up at all unless he just can’t 
help it — unless the feeling something is there be- 

comes more than he can resist.” 

^^My father always said one must not regret the 
leaps in the dark. They helped to fill the breach. The 
great thing is that we have got hold of the thread at 
last. All we have to do is to follow it up. The tragic 
thing is to think of the centuries when faithful workers 
were toiling away on a hopelessly wrong tack.” 

He smiled again. Is the past so bad as that ? ” 

" Or the future so good ? ” she asked defiantly. 

Or the future so good ? ” he agreed. 

Give me the future.” 


183 


Snowed Up 

With all my heart; but I am afraid you will find 
it is just what the past has made it.” 

A shadow passed over her face, and he wondered 
what he could have said that was amiss. At that mo- 
ment Mrs. Eaeburn joined them at the window. The 
snow was still falling steadily. “ What are you going 
to do with us at nightfall ? ” she asked. 

Vera looked at her wistfully. I am expecting that 
you will both develop wings, and fly away again.” 

‘‘And failing that?” 

“ Failing that ” — Vera broke into a light-hearted 
laugh — “ the sheets are airing at the kitchen fire.” 

“ How good it sounds — and what lucky people we 
are ! You are sure the fairy palace won’t vanish 
away ? ” 

Vera’s face grew graver. “ Not yet,” she said, and 
she sighed. 

She had flattered herself that she knew life, that 
her picture-gallery was full; but these people came to 
her from a different plane of existence from those with 
which she was familiar. They were of the few who 
bear on their faces — what many (“ so be it,” as New- 
man would say) feel in their hearts — the wish to meet 
their fellows on a footing of helpful brotherhood. 
Little by little it came home to her in the course of 
the afternoon that she had misconceived the world if 
it contained people like this. 

And so, by degrees, she let herself go, floating out 
like a seaweed in water, falling unconsciously into the 
pretty poses and gestures that were half French, half 
English — all her own — revealing a personality that was 
almost new to the children. 

“You think I am right, don’t you? ” she said sud- 
183 


The Way of Escape 

denly, checking herself in the expression of some dog- 
matic opinion. 

Mr. Raeburn looked at her with the curious sincerity 
that was characteristic of him, and shook his head, 
smiling. On the contrary, I think you quite wrong.” 

She glanced up quickly, and then his smile was 
slowly reflected on her face. It told him plainly, if 
the information had been needed, that she was not one 
of the women who have been in the habit of hearing 
the plain truth from men. 

They talked of cathedrals and books and pictures 
— oh, no matter in what words. People have often 
said better things of St. Gudule, and Sociology, and 
the Tintorettos in the Doge’s Palace. The acquaint- 
ance progressed less by words than by silences and 
shades of expression, and rifts of laughter, and those 
flashes of agreement that And no need for words. But 
the children listened large-eyed, as was the way with 
children once. 

Eric was the one to take advantage of a longer 
pause than usual. I could show you a snow-crystal 
under the microscope,” he observed tentatively. 

The generous offer was accepted without delay, as 
daylight was going fast; and the microscope proved 
the herald of a series of hobbies — a herbarium, a box 
of eggs, stamps, and a collection of butterflies. Mr. 
Raeburn seemed really impressed with the butterflies, 
and Harold was justly proud. 

Where did you get that fellow? I haven’t seen 
any about here ? ” 

" Haven’t you ? Whew ! ” with true schoolboy su- 
periority. We’ve seen dozens.” He paused and 
glanced at his eldest sister, but she did not meet his 

m 


Snowed Up 

eye. Well, I suppose that’s a lie,” he admitted frank- 
ly. fact, it is an unscientific statement; but we 

have seen four, haven’t we, Vera?” 

Her smile was good to see. I remember three ; 
but you are much more likely to be right than I. And 
now our guests are very tired with their long cold drive. 
We must leave them to rest, and to say what chatter- 
boxes we are.” 

Playfully she stretched out her arms as if to gather 
the children before her, and Mrs. Eaeburn caught one 
of the fine firm hands. 

Come back ! ” she said in a whisper. 

Vera smiled without committing herself; but on the 
threshold she paused. Should she go back ? And, if she 
was going back, why had she sent the children away? 
They were such a safeguard. 

Alone with his wife in the firelight, Mr. Eaeburn 
was the first to break silence. This takes one’s breath 
away a little,” he said. 

It just shows , she said with low emphasis, " how 
detestably spiteful people can be. 

“ ‘ Through the heather an’ howe ga’ed the creepin’ thing, 

But abune was the waft o’ an angel’s wing.’ ” 

^^You must not forget that she has in a measure 
laid herself open to it all. But clearly the seclusion 
phase is a recent one.” 

It seems to me the most natural thing in the 
world. With her social gifts, she would be in constant 
demand. She elects to devote herself to the children, 
and she can’t do things by halves. I call it splendid.” 

He did not reply. He wondered whether so simple 
an explanation would cover the pathos and suggestive- 
185 


The Way of Escape 

ness of Vera’s personality. With all her impulsiveness, 
she reminded him of a spirit enchained in a tree. 

There is no saying what sort of crank the father may 
have been,” he suggested, as if that afforded a more 
hopeful explanation. What Jolly little beggars the 
children are ! ” 

Aren’t they? Did you notice how the elder boy 
pulled himself up 

Over what was only a picturesque statement ? 
Yes.” 

And Miss Carruthers always corrects herself when 
she exaggerates.” 

He laughed. Not always, fortunately. That 
would be a Herculean task.” 

How pretty she is too ! Did you notice how her 
hair comes back and back upon her head, as if it loved 
her? I never saw such caressing hair.” 

Well, it is a cosy little world to drop into out of 
the cold. I wonder whether we shall be dropped out 
again as abruptly ? ” 

“I know I won’t. I have always felt that Vera 
Carruthers and I should be friends. One has Just to 
wait and the thing comes about far better than we could 
have managed it. Do you remember the sermon at 
Oxford we liked so much about ^ moving forward with 
the will of charity ’ ? ” 

He nodded and laughed. The charity is all on the 
other side this time, and the difficulty was that we 
couldn’t move forward.” 

That is always the way when you try to work out 
principles ; but — the answer comes right.” 

A few minutes later Vera came in with the tea- 
tray. 


186 


Snowed Up 

Mr. Eaeburn rose to help her. We were just say- 
ing how much credit the children do you.” 

It’s not I.” She raised her eyes quickly as if the 
explanation were incumbent on her. No, really it 
isn’t. You see I have only had them a year. They 
' growed/ like Topsy.” 

He did not contradict her, and a great comfortable 
silence' fell on the three. The words that suggested 
themselves were too far ahead of the circumstances of 
their acquaintanceship; but no restrictions are placed 
upon silence, and there in the brooding firelight their 
friendship grew. 


13 


187 


CHAPTEE XXVIII 


A LEGEND OF PROVENCE 

Do you know,” said J udith, stopping suddenly in 
the midst of an unselfconscious war-dance, I think we 
should do something just awfully jolly to-night.” 

Agreed ! ” Mr. Eaeburn sprang to his feet with 
boyish alacrity. What do you suggest ? ” 

‘^Well, I have been thinking.” The condition of 
her hair bore out the truth of the statement. We 
might get Vera to play the fiddle. She won’t do it 
often. And we know lots of poetry, and we often act.” 
She paused with her head on one side. Can you do 
anything ? ” 

^^Xot much,” he admitted, ^^but you see we are 
your guests to-day. The giving is all on your side.” 

I see : well, I think we can manage.” And off she 
went to summon a family conclave. 

Of course the boys would not act — boys do fail one 
so in the real crises of life ! — and Vera did not play in 
the least as she had played that wild autumn afternoon 
when nobody was listening. Still the guests seemed to 
think it was very nice, and made her go on and on till 
the evening was growing late. 

I shall be glad to have your opinion of the girls’ 
recitations,” she said, as she put the violin back in its 
case. I am afraid I am growing prejudiced. By the 
way,” she laughed, ^^I am not responsible for their 
188 


A Legend of Provence 

choice of a subject. They have the run of all my books, 
and they do choose the most extraordinary things some- 
times.” 

But, indeed, the performance required little apol- 
ogy. Judith threw the whole strength of her person- 
ality into what she was doing, and earned much ap- 
plause. Less was expected of gentle little Aline; but 
Vera foresaw the surprise in store. The child stepped 
out of the limits of her own personality altogether. 
Under the very eyes of those present two and two made 
five. It was the old miracle. Like the conjurer, she 
placed a seed under a basket, and, lifting the basket, 
displayed a tree. 

" I should be very proud of sisters like yours,” said 
Mrs. Eaeburn. She was imprisoned between the two 
boys on the sofa. 

Harold nodded with a man-of-the-world air. 

“ ‘Our little sisters have their day, 

They have their day and cease to be.’” 

Oh, dear boy, don't ! ” she cried. 

^‘1 have been thinking all day,” Mr. Raeburn was 
saying, how lucky your brothers and sisters are ; and 
now I don’t know which side is to be congratulated 
more. It makes one almost envious to think of the pos- 
sibilities those four children open up.” 

^^It is splendid, isn’t it?” Vera’s face was all 
aglow. " Oh, indeed, I always feel that, except when 
the foul fiend is in full possession.” 

I shouldn’t fancy that was very often.” 

She shrugged her shoulders. "'You’d wonder, as 
Betsy would say. I try to make it as seldom as I 
can.” The softening of her face was very winning. 

189 


The Way of Escape 

Few things are more, pleasantly humbling than an 
unaccustomed atmosphere of appreciation. 

Presently she caught Judith^s hand. ‘‘Yours was 
a very short piece,” she said. “ Say something else 
before we break up.” 

And Judith, nothing loath, began. 

Her second choice was certainly curious, and in no 
way liable to the charge of undue brevity — Adelaide 
Proctor’s Legend of Provence. What exactly the child 
saw in it, of course, none of her hearers could tell ; but 
it seemed to appeal to her strongly in some way. 

“ ‘ Have we not all, amid life’s petty strife, 

Some pure ideal of a noble life 

That once seemed possible ? Did we not hear 

The flutter of its wings, and feel it near. 

And just within our reach ? It was. And yet 
We lost it in this daily jar and fret, 

And now live idle in a vague regret. 

But still our place is kept, and it will wait, 

Ready for us to All it soon or late : 

No star is ever lost we once have seen. 

We always may be what we might have been.’ ” 

Vera laughed when she had finished, and for the 
first time there was something discordant in her laugh. 
“Judith certainly did not find that in my library.” 

“ Ho ? It’s very pretty.” 

“ Yes.” The monosyllable piqued curiosity. It ex- 
pressed so much less than the preoccupied face. 

“ You are thinking perhaps that it isn’t true.” 

Yera hesitated, and then recklessly let herself go. 
“I am thinking it is the worst of all lies— a bit of 
rose-water philosophy.” 

“ Don’t you think it is one side of a truth ? ” 

“ Perhaps. If so, give me the other side — 

190 


A Legend of Provence 

“ ‘ The Moving Finger writes; and, having writ, 

Moves on: nor all thy Piety nor Wit 
Shall lure it back to cancel half a Line, 

Nor all thy Tears wash out a Word of it.’ ” 

It seemed a long time before Mr. Eaeburn an- 
swered. His face was very grave. “ That is the other 
side with a vengeance. Who said it ? I donT profess to 
keep abreast with modern poetry.” 

Edward Fitzgerald ; but he got it from Omar 
Khayyam.” 

Mr. Eaeburn laughed. Come, it is kind of you to 
let me down so gently. I knew I had committed myself 
as soon as the ^ modern ^ escaped me.” 

She scarcely seemed to hear, and he fell into 
thought. When he began to speak, it was tentatively, 
with eyes fixed on vacancy, as though he had forgotten 
that anyone was listening. 

Whenever one meets with two opposing statements 
like that — both true — one canT help worrying at them 
till one gets the big truth that includes them both.” 

She tried to laugh lightheartedly. It seems to 
me you take J udith’s poem much too seriously. I don’t 
see any truth in it.” 

Perhaps that is because it says too little. Make 
it bolder and you will see its truth. Don’t you think we 
always may be something far finer than we might have 
been? The worst we have done only increases the 
magnitude of the problem set before us.” 

Was the bow wholly drawn at a venture? Who 
shall say? The marksman did not turn to see its 
effect. And it was well. For a crimson tide swept 
over Vera’s face, and her heart beat as though it would 
have choked her. 


191 


The Way of Escape 

The snow had ceased in the course of the night, and 
Sunday’s skies were clear. There was little doubt that 
the guests would be able to leave on Monday morning. 
The conclusion of a first visit is always an interesting 
experience. The little episode — the little world — has 
been so much for the moment ; but when the trunks are 
packed, and the carriage stands at the door, one begins 
to realize the perspective of things — one tries to fit the 
part into its place in the whole. 

And a good deal of fitting was required at the end 
of the Eaeburns’ visit. There had been a primeval 
simplicity about it of which everyone became more con- 
scious now that the parting was near. One thing alone 
was certain — the thing that had happened could never 
be undone. In little things as well as great 

“ The Moving Finger writes.” 

There were four points of view, of course. That 
of the children was simply expressed in undisguised 
lamentations; Vera’s, in a growing dignity and aloof- 
ness of manner that were hard to understand. Mrs. 
Raeburn felt that she had found a friend. Her hus- 
band — well, her husband was at once a Christian and 
a man of the world, and, as it chanced, he had married 
a generous, impulsive wife. It was the wife and the 
Christian against the man of the world. And at pres- 
ent the man of the world had so very little to say. 

Vera tried to avoid being left alone with either 
of her guests, and the children made the task an 
easy one; but just at the end Mrs. Raeburn outwit- 
ted her. 

She began with the usual conventional expression 
of a desire to meet again, but it was obvious that no 
192 


A Legend of Provence 

headway was to be gained in that fashion. So she 
tossed the convention side. 

Yon know, dear, all this wouldn’t have happened 
if it were going to stop here. It canH stop here.” 

Vera did not reply. 

You sha’n’t meet anyone at my house unless you 
like. I would only ask you to meet my very nicest 
friends. I know most people are a waste of time; 
but I am sure you would like Mrs. Wright and Lady 
Laurie.” 

^^You see that my hands are full enough without 
social claims.” 

"Indeed they are; but, please, don’t call us social 
claims. Come at any hour of the day or night. We 
feel as if we had known you and the children for years. 
My husband is so fond of children.” 

At that moment Mr. Raeburn came in, equipped for 
the drive. He held out his hand with brusque cor- 
diality. 

" Well,” he said, " are we to seal a bond of friend- 
ship ? ” 

Vera looked up with frightened eyes. 

"You have given us food and shelter; you have 
made us your friends. You can’t possibly stop 
there.” 

Vera was ashy white. Never before had she looked 
so like a spirit enchained in a tree. 

" That’s true,” she said helplessly at last. " I 

canH.r' 


193 


CHAPTER XXIX 


TROUBLOUS TIMES 

I sha’n’t see them when they call/’ said Vera the 
next day. It’s horrible, but it is the only way. Bet- 
ter put myself out of pain at once.” 

The call, however, did not take place exactly under 
the conditions she had anticipated, for the dog-cart 
drove up to the door with Aline and Eric comfortably 
installed in the back seat. They had been discovered 
sliding in the road, and had eagerly availed themselves 
of the invitation to scramble up. It seemed as if the 
ordinary conventions of life were always to be abrogated 
in the progress of this new friendship. At least Vera 
took the precaution of keeping the children in the 
room; and all Mrs. Raeburn could say of the call was 
that it had kept the right of way open. 

Meanwhile the threatening of a great calamity threw 
all other perplexities into the shade. Betsy duly re- 
turned to her work on the Monday after the storm; 
but it soon became clear that she was the same Betsy 
no longer. ^^I am glad to see you back,” Vera said 
thankfully. I simply can’t get on without you.” 

Betsy’s inward compunction made her manner more 
abrupt than ever. Then I doobt ye’ll hae to learn,” 
she said. I’m settin’ up house for mysel’ come Whit- 
suntide.” 

Betsy! Are you going to be married?” 

194 


Troublous Times 


"Just that” 

" To whom ? ” 

" Oh, just yon mon that was in the railway carriage 
the day I saw ye first. He’s aye been at me ever sin’.” 

Vera was horrified. "But he’s not half good 
enough for you.” 

The answer was not immediately forthcoming. At 
last — " He’s weel aware o’ that,” said Betsy. 

" It is a comfort to hear that, at least ; but you are 
aware of it too, are you not ? ” 

The bride elect made an unnecessary noise with her 
pots and pans. Weel, ye see, he was that pushin’,” 
she said at last. 

"Well, Betsy, I hope you won’t have cause to re- 
gret it.” 

" Oh, I’m aye tellin’ him I doobt I’ve done a gey an’ 
foolish thing.” 

" You tell him that ! And what does he say ? ” 

" He ? What would he say ? ” 

"Well, I know what 1 say. I shall never be able 
to fill your place.” 

" I doobt that’s ower true. Ye’ll get some feckless 
thing that mak’s mair dirt wi’ the ae han’ than she 
redds up wi’ the tither.” 

Vera could stand no more, so she left the kitchen. 
" The plot thickens,” she said to herself. " The plot 
thickens more and more.” But of course evening found 
her installed in the kitchen arm-chair, with her feet 
on a wooden "creepie,” throwing half the energies 
of her being into the subject of Betsy’s trousseau. It 
was not a question of Christian charity at all. She 
really did care very much about that trousseau. 

She woke next morning with a new feeling of ap- 
195 


The Way of Escape 

prehension. She had been rather anxious at times 
about ways and means, and Betsy’s thrifty habits had 
been an enormous help in keeping things straight. 
When Betsy was replaced by the “ feckless thing,” what 
hope would there be ? In the old days, Vera had scarce- 
ly known what anxiety about money meant. With a 
handsome salary in addition to her- own income, she 
had always spent freely, and she had taken up her bur- 
den of responsibility with a cheerful conviction that, 
if one gives one’s whole mind to the question of econ- 
omy, all things are possible. That little bubble had to 
be pricked, of course. One can do without new frocks, 
and wear patched boots. In a land of milk and eggs 
and fish and fresh vegetables, one can cut down the 
weekly bills to a truly surprising figure. But items like 
rent and school-fees are obdurate: they will bear no 
squeezing. 

Whatever happened, the children must have a good 
education. That would, have been their father’s wish, 
and they were worth it. The girls she could teach 
herself, and Eric too for the present; but school and 
college must be managed in the long run somehow. 
Well, for the moment she could rub along. The cloud 
as yet was no bigger than a man’s hand. 

Another cloud developed more rapidly. April 
brought a letter from Miss Anderson, the children’s 
aunt. She had been very ill with acute bronchitis, and 
she wished to remind Vera that the year of probation 
was more than over. She was as anxious as ever to see 
something of the children. 

To such a letter only one answer was possible. Vera 
wrote, inviting her to come and spend a fortnight at the 
farm, as soon as the doctor thought the change advis- 
196 


Troublous Times 


able. I am afraid she shed a few tears over the letter : 
she bitterly grudged giving up even an infinitesimal 
share in the children; but, after all, a fortnight could 
do little harm. 

Somewhat to her chagrin, the children received the 
news with a war-dance of delight. The prospect of a 
visit was a change — something fresh, and during the 
winter the farm had failed to produce a fair quota of 
castles in Spain. Aline was the first to make pause. 

Are you really so awfully glad ? she said. 

Judith nodded. Of course I^d rather it was Mrs. 
Eaeburn; but visitors are great fun. We’ve such lots 
of things to show her.” 

Yes.” 

But I’ll tell you what. Aline, you mustn’t leave me 
alone with her one minute — or she’ll speak to me about 
my soul ! ” 

‘‘1 know. But what if Yera wants me?” 

Judith reflected. "Then I must Just say that I 
have left my handkerchief upstairs.” 

" And come and tell us ? ” 

" Oh, I wouldn’t tell Vera. That wouldn’t be 
fair, and T really will leave my handkerchief, you 
know.” 

Aline looked dubious. " That will mean going with- 
out it for a fortnight.” 

" I know.” Judith nodded with the air of a philos- 
opher who has deliberately chosen the lesser of two 
evils. " I only hope I sha’n’t have a cold ini the head ! ” 

"And what about me?” 

"I never thought of that. You were always too 
young, I suppose, or too good, or something.” 

"Too young, I expect. I wonder” — Aline looked 
197 


The Way of Escape 

as if the impending promotion were a doubtful one — “ I 
wonder whether Aunt Annie will think IVe had time 
to develop a soul?” 

And so the antagonists met on the tiny field, each 
perfectly sure that hers was the banner of light in the 
everlasting battle. Vera was handicapped by the fact 
that she was the representative of law and order in the 
household, and she would not stoop to forego one jot 
or tittle of the easy discipline she habitually imposed. 
Another element in the case handicapped her still more. 
Much as they dreaded being spoken to about their souls, 
the children were dimly aware that their aunt possessed 
something which Vera had not. It was not church- 
going, nor Bible-reading, nor the saying of prayers, nor 
talking good ” ; but it was there. Whether as a result 
of their heredity, or early training, or something be- 
yond either of these, there was a harmonic in their 
being which Vera’s fine fundamental note failed to call 
forth. 

If, on the whole, the fortune of war was on Vera’s 
side, it was mainly due to the genuine joyousness, to 
the expectancy and whole-heartedness, with which she 
threw herself into everything that was going on. The 
iron chain might gall the tender fiesh, but she seldom 
doffed her garment of light ; and there is no quality in 
their elders which children appreciate more than this. 
She treated her guest too with a courtesy which the 
other — weak and broken in health — was not always 
able to reciprocate. Miss Anderson had only known 
the flippant and audacious side of Vera’s character, 
and she was much surprised to find the menage so great 
a success. The root of the matter was assuredly want- 
ing; yet, behold, Vera flourished like a green bay-tree. 

198 


Troublous Times 

It was trying to flesh and blood to have to acknowl- 
edge it. 

Curiously enough, it was after the visitor had gone 
that Vera felt her influence most. There had always 
been a barrier between herself and the children — as 
indeed there is, more or less, between every child and 
its elders — but in some indefinable way the barrier had 
grown higher. There was little or no change in Harold 
and Aline; but Judith had frequent fits of silence and 
meditation; and, long after he had gone to bed one 
night, Eric was discovered in tears. He declared he 
had been asleep; but Vera saw the Bible thrust hastily 
under his pillow, and naturally she laid the lie to Miss 
Anderson’s charge. 

She was almost glad of the distraction afforded by 
Betsy’s wedding. J udith and Aline were busy hemming 
under-garments, and everyone was getting ready some 
present which should be a great surprise. It was 
ridiculous to make so much fuss about a servant who 
had been with her little more than a year; but Vera 
was young, and outside interests were few, and she was 
determined that Betsy should have a good send-off. 
Her kindness made a great impression on Betsy’s circle 
of friends ; and, however lowly the circle in which such 
an impression is made, it always appears sooner or 
later in the summing-up. 


199 


CHAPTER XXX 


LADY LAURIE 

my dear^’ — Lady Laurie was beginning to 
lose patience — I really will not be put off any longer. 
My nephew, Tom Allington, has simply raved about 
her since the day of the wreck. What is she like ? ” 
The wreck ? ” Mrs. Raeburn looked puzzled. 
Yes. How do you contrive not to hear things ? 
Some Norman sailors were driven ashore on the rocks 
east of the pier. Oh, they were rescued all right, but 
one had broken his leg badly, and nobody could make 
out a word they said. Some one had seen Miss Car- 
ruthers in the ship-chandler’s, and everybody seemed 
aware that she gets a good many foreign letters. So 
they ran to fetch her. You can guess the rest. She 
was the woman of the moment, and you know how 
men lose their heads in such a case. The Provost quite 
monopolized her, and now the others want to know 
when their turn is to come.” 

And what about the sailors ? ” 

Oh, my dear, you are like the woman who wrote 
to ask George Eliot what became of the pink silk hand- 
kerchief ! What do the sailors matter ? They say her 
French accent is a thing to keep one awake at night 
with envy. What is she like ? Is she presentable ? ” 
Mrs. Raeburn laughed. I wish I were as present- 
able,” she said. 


200 


Lady Laurie 

You indeed ! Is she very poor ? 

The bright eyes sparkled with mischief. That is 
not one of the questions one asks at a first interview. 
She is certainly not rich.” 

Oh, bless my soul, who is rich now-a-days ? Then 
is it true that she is an atheist ? ” 

She did not say so.” Mrs. Kaeburn’s face grew 
serious. She did not give me the smallest reason to 
think so.” 

But she doesnT go to church ? ” 

I have never seen her in church. It would in- 
volve a three-mile walk each way. They have no car- 
riage.” 

‘^And you like her?” 

Mrs. Eaeburn held herself well in hand. ^‘1 like 
her,” she said simply. 

Then what is the mystery ? ” 

And poor Mrs. Eaeburn had to explain, as she had 
so often done before, that there was no mystery — that it 
was all the most natural thing in the world, &c. &c. 

" Is her accent really so good ? ” 

I don’t know that I am a judge. I don’t want to 
be guilty of ^ unlearned praise.’ ” 

Dear me ! But, if that is so, I would pay her any- 
thing she likes to come and talk to my girls. This 
new-fangled notion of teaching girls Latin and Euclid 
means a shocking neglect of their French.” 

I thought the French was so good at Mrs. 
Bright’s.” 

Oh, they are strong on what they are pleased to 
call the sequence of tenses, and that sort of thing; but 
what is the use of knowing when to trot out the plu- 
perfect subjunctive if you can’t pronounce it in such a 
201 


The Way of Escape 

way as to make yourself understood? Do you think 
Miss Carruthers would care to have pupils ? ’’ 

I shouldn't think she had time. She gets through 
an amount of work as it is that puts me to the blush. 
She does everything for her brothers and sisters.” 

Lady Laurie looked reflective. ‘^Well/^ she said 
irrelevantly at last, Tom is very anxious to meet her, 
and, as you know, I would do a good deal to spite Mrs. 
Bartlett.” 

It happened a month or two later that Vera was 
waiting with Judith and Aline at a local junction. The 
children had little experience of railway travelling, and 
thought the pleasure cheaply bought — as in the present 
instance — by a visit to the dentist. They were in ex- 
cellent spirits, bustling along as children will, when 
Aline unwittingly trod on the dress of an elderly lady. 

Oh, I beg your pardon ! ” she cried, looking up with 
real regret, and the surprising thing was that, instead 
of hurrying away, she waited with pretty deprecation to 
make sure that her request was granted. 

Now Aline was a very attractive child, a positive 
blonde with brilliant colouring, and she was perhaps 
more becomingly dressed than children were wont to 
be in those parts. In any case she took the lady’s fancy, 
and Vera saw with doubtful satisfaction that the three 
had entered into an animated conversation. Her feel- 
ing deepened to dismay when, some ten minutes later, 
the lady joined their little party in a third-class car- 
riage. 

^‘Your sisters and I have made friends,” she said 
with gracious dignity,/^ so you must allow me to intro- 
duce myself. I am Lady Laurie.” 

202 


Lady Laurie 

Vera bowed. Miss Carruthers is my name.” 

So the children told me. I have heard of you from 
my friend, Mrs. Kaeburn. You don’t mind sitting with 
your back to the engine? Come, that is very nice. 
Then we can chat quite comfortably.” 

And Lady Laurie proceeded to poke the new speci- 
men; but she did it so neatly, so tactfully, that the 
proceeding was quite a pleasant one, even for the 
specimen. Moreover, Vera defended herself well, and 
she did it very tactfully, too, in a way that revealed little 
and piqued curiosity. The new specimen really prom- 
ised to be worth while. 

When the time of parting drew near. Lady Laurie 
took a sudden plunge. 

I have been away so much for the last year,” she 
said, ^‘^that I have really called on nobody. Now I 
wonder if you would waive ceremony, and bring your 
sisters to a children’s party I am giving next week? I 
will give myself the pleasure of calling on you later.” 

Thank you very much,” began Vera; but the lady 
bore her down. 

^^It is going to be a very pretty party,” she said. 

Each little girl is to come as a flower. Oh, nothing ex- 
pensive. Most of them are Just having fresh ribbons 
put on their muslin frocks. I think,” she turned to 
the children — they would enjoy it.” 

In spite of her chagrin, Vera could have laughed 
aloud. The girls looked such a picture of hopeless, 
hungry longing. 

Vera.r' 

To Judge by their faces, their lives might have been 
as barren of brightness as that of any child in the slums. 

On the whole, it was better to laugh : the situation 
14 203 


The Way of Escape 

really was too funny. Yet, beneath the laugh, Vera 
felt her ludicrous, pinprick share of the pang that is 
sharper than a serpent’s tooth. 

You are very kind,” she began again, ignoring 
the children altogether ; but the fact is I really have 
no leisure nor scope for entertaining and — for social 
life generally. I am sure the children will tell you 
that they have abundant pleasure in their lives without 
that.” 

But this did not seem to be the aspect of the case 
that was most strongly borne in upon the children at 
that moment. In truth they had known little pleasure 
of this particular kind. In their mother’s time they 
had gone at rare intervals to sombre tea-parties, and 
even from these they had wrung the last drop of amuse- 
ment that such entertainments are capable of yielding. 

^^Vera,” said Judith solemnly, if you will let us 
go this once, I will never ash to go anywhere again.” 

Vera began to realize that there was something to 
be said for the old-fashioned system of bringing chil- 
dren up to be seen and not heard. She was reaping 
what she had sown. 

Aline neither moved nor spoke, but the tears welled 
up in her soft grey eyes. She had a rare gift for tears. 
They neither reddened her eyelids nor distorted her 
face. They simply welled up, and, if need were, welled 
over. 

“1 think you will see,” Vera persisted bravely, 
that I am right. Distances in the country are so long, 
and I have no trap of any kind. Besides, I simply can’t 
afford to entertain in return.” 

I think you are very sensible indeed. But every- 
one will tell you that nobody expects to take a prec- 
204 


Lady Laurie 

edent from me. I am a terribly self-willed person. I 
always get my own way.” 

Vera’s face showed that she was yielding. She did 
so want the children to be happy— to love her. J udith’s 
serious moods had been more frequent of late : that very 
morning she had received a long letter from her aunt of 
which she had not communicated a word. This party 
would certainly be the very thing to shake her out of 
the morbid groove altogether. 

“ I will simply tell people that I bore down on you 
and swept you off. I assure you they know me too well 
to be surprised. So we will consider it settled. Next 
Wednesday. I will send the carriage at four.” 

Even then Vera did not speak; but she knew it was 
too late to draw back. She felt she had made a mis- 
take; but she little guessed how far-reaching the con- 
sequences would be. 

As it happened, the children had no muslin frocks, 
but Vera had several trunks of finery that had never 
been unpacked since she left Brussels. She went up 
to her room that very afternoon, and began. 

“ ‘The common problem, yours, mine, everyone’s, 

Is — not to fancy what were fair in life. 

Provided it could be, — but finding first 
What may be, then find how to make it fair 
Up to our means,’ ” 

she quoted with a little laugh. It might be as well to 
lock the door before we begin to unearth — the ruins of 
Kome.” 

Oh, the memories shut up among those diaphanous 
folds ” ! — memories of hope, of depression, of triumph, 
of heartache, of exquisite yielding ! Sweet and bitter ; 

205 


The Way of Escape 

bitter and sweet. How old am I ? ” cried Vera, clasp- 
ing her head between her hands. How old am I ? Is 
it possible that one little life shuts all my experience 
in? 

What was she doing? Why had she opened these 
boxes? Ah, yes, to be sure — ^the children. Let her 
anchor her mind on to them. They should have a 
good time, God bless them ! How odd — how odd it must 
be to have life all before one like that ! Make haste, 
make haste. Let the scissors hiss through the stuff. 
Make believe that the children’s bright future rose out 
of her own stormy past ! 

How, chicks, I am going to make sketches of your 
frocks. Come and criticize.” 

The shriek of delight was a reward in itself. 

Oh, V^ra, you are a darling ! ” said Aline. 

^^You don’t mind very much?” So Judith, with 
a pang of self-reproach. 

Vera looked at her gravely as she would have looked 
at a grown person. We never go back on what is set- 
tled,” she said. The next thing to do is to move on.” 

Then pencil and colours got to work, and it would 
have been hard to say which of the three sisters was 
the most engrossed in the task before them. 

When Harold came home, he looked at the fineries 
with unsympathetic eye. The idea,” he said, of a 
woman like Vera wasting her time over rubbish like 
that ! ” 

The girls looked at him reproachfully. At least,” 
said Aline with cutting emphasis, this is more amus- 
ing than your shirts and socks.” 

^^Ho doubt. Think I don’t see it? What gits me 
is that you girls take it all as a matter of course.” 

206 


Lady Laurie 

“ Much you know about it ! ” said Judith. 

Aline walked up to him, her hands clasped behind 
her back. 

" When I am married” she said, I mean Vera to 
come and live with me.” 

Harold raised a little shout of derision. Non- 
sense ! Not really ! Break it gently to her, old girl. 
They say joy kills, you know.” 

Judith went in search of her elder sister. Vera,” 
she said with an effort, I do love you just dread- 
fully.” 

Vera kissed the child, but a shadow passed over her 
brow. Even to Judith the concession in the matter of 
the party seemed very great. 

To everybody’s delight Betsy dropped in on the 
night of the final trying-on, and for once even she was 
startled into some expression of her feelings. 

“ Weel, I niver ! ” said she. Who’d ha’ thocht that 
the bairns was sae bonny ! ” 

The frocks were quite simple; Vera was in no dan- 
ger of going wrong in that fundamental respect; but 
she had thrown her whole artistic faculty into the 
work, and the colours were extraordinarily good. Aline 
was bluebell, and Judith bracken. They looked like a 
couple of pixies. 

We’re not very bonny now,” said Aline ruefully, 
when the shabby serges were resumed. 

But the glory of the transformation still lingered 
on her rosy face. 

Ye’d wonder,” said Betsy consolingly. I’ve seen 
ye look a muckle sicht waur. Noo awa an’ pla yersels. 
It’s the mistress I’ve corned to see.” 

207 


The Way of Escape 

She had never said the mistress before, and Vera 
was touched. And very glad I am to see you, Betsy.” 

Ye^re lookin’ gey worn an’ tired.” 

“Am I?” The information was obviously dis- 
turbing. “ Oh, it’s nothing. I have been sitting up 
late over these frocks. If the thing is to be done at all, 
it may as well be done decently.” 

“ An’ what are ye goin’ to pit on yersel’ ? ” 

Vera hesitated, and laughed shamefacedly. “ Do 
you know I haven’t thought about that,” she said. 
“No matter. I have several things that will do. It 
is a children’s party.” 

“ You see an’ try them on the nicht,” Betsy pursued 
relentlessly. “ Maybe they’ll no fit. Ye luik thin. 
Ye’re no the woman ye was when I set eyes on ye first.” 

Vera’s brow clouded, then cleared. “ It’s you I 
want to hear about,” she said. “ I have thought of you 
so much. How are you getting on ? ” 

“ Oh, fine,” said Betsy dejectedly. 

“ Has it all turned out as well as you hoped ? ” 

“ I canna complain. What like lassie is yon ye’ve 
got?” 

“ She might be worse. She is not you, Betsy.” 

“I see that.” 

Too far east is west. The greyness of it all 
amounted to positive humour, and Vera laughed. 


208 


CHAPTER XXXI 


BLUEBELL AND BRACKEN 

Everything conspired to make Judith and Aline a 
great success at the party. Shy at first, and overawed 
by the splendour of the entertainment, their pretty 
cosmopolitan accent saved them from the charge of 
gaucherie, and they gradually developed a naive pi- 
quancy that was very refreshing. 

She sees you think it all very nice,” had been 
Aline’s recipe for the treatment of the Fairy Queen, 
and, consciously or unconsciously, this was the key- 
note of their behaviour to Lady Laurie. They danced 
well, too, and their frocks were greatly admired. Some 
of the children were much more elaborately dressed, 
but most people agreed that Judith and Aline were 
pictures,” and Vera received so many congratulations 
on the subject that she began to feel as if she had built 
the Forth Bridge, or written Paradise Lost. 

As the evening wore on, both girls were asked to 
take part in an impromptu charade. Aline consented 
gladly, but Judith by that time had become absorbed 
in conversation with a very competent-looking lady, 
and she said she preferred to look on. 

Vera knew it was better that only one of her sisters 
should act, and yet she felt an odd sense of annoyance 
with both Judith and the lady. What could they have 
found to talk about so eagerly? Vera thought of the 
309 


The Way of Escape 

gloom that had so often rested on her sister’s face of 
late, and contrasted it with the animation of the pres- 
ent moment. Why could she not look like that at home, 
where everybody loved her and tried to make the most 
of her? 

“ My dear, you are a jealous beast,” she said to her- 
self ; but the reflection brought small consolation. 

Little by little she became aware that what she 
objected to was not the fact of Judith’s conversing at 
length with anyone, but rather the fact of her con- 
versing with that particular lady. No one else in the 
room would have mattered so much. There was some- 
thing in the placid and business-like face that fright- 
ened Vera. It was so confldent, so self-assured. Was 
that all? No. The face seemed to come out of the 
past — to carry with it the thought of a time that was 
buried. She would go over at once 

But at that moment the lady rose, and Judith fol- 
lowed her out of the room. 

All this time Vera was engaged in conversation with 
two clever young men. Well, many a woman before has 
kept the ball going under circumstances more distract- 
ing. Perhaps Judith and her new friend had gone to 
help with the charade. No; the lights were turned 
down; the performance began, and they had not re- 
turned. 

At the end of the first act ” Lady Laurie came up 
to congratulate Vera on Aline’s performance. 

I can’t think what has become of my other sister,” 
Vera said lightly. That lady seems very kind, but 
I don’t want Judith to he a nuisance.” 

What lady ? Oh, Mrs. Bright ! ” Lady Laurie 
laughed. She is not at all likely to let herself be 
210 


Bluebell and Bracken 


bored— least of all by a schoolgirl. I know no one who 
is better able to protect herself — unless it be myself. 
She is my daughters^ schoolmistress — a very advanced 
woman indeed.^^ 

" Mrs. Bright ” — Vera breathed more freely. The 
name was wholly without associations. But the face — ■ 
where had she seen the face? 

Even when nothing depends on them, these sug- 
gested resemblances — these “ unformed halves ” of a 
memory are disturbing things; and, though Vera was 
mainly convinced that her feeling was only a fancy, the 
fancy was hard to bear. 

The charade was over before Judith re-entered the 
room, looking flushed and eager. She sat down beside 
Vera, slipped a hand confidingly into hers, and began 
to talk brightly, affectionately. Vera felt more grati- 
fied than if half the men in the room had been paying 
her attention. Truly times had changed. 

What have you been talking about, old girl ? 

Virgil,” said Judith enthusiastically. You 
know, Vera, that lady is awfully nice. She took me to 
the library and made me construe a bit. She said very 
little, but ” — the speaker’s voice sank to a whisper — I 
think she was impressed ! ” 

"Nonsense! Do you know she is a schoolmis- 
tress ? ” 

" I know.” Judith’s eyes shone. " She has a school 
where girls learn things that are worth while — boys’ 
things. Mustn’t it be splendid ? ” 

"You would soon tire of it, dear. You are very 
lucky in having a brother who encourages you to work 
with him. Few boys are so generous in that sort of 
way.” 


211 


The Way of Escape 

I am very lucky in having you, Vera.” And if 
Judith felt she was making a generous concession, she 
touched Vera’s heart none the less. 

You missed your sister’s performance,” said Mr. 
Allington, Lady Laurie’s nephew, stopping in front of 
the attractive young face. 

Yes. Was it good ? Oh, but you should see her at 
home ! ” 

Clearly Judith was in the mood in which the milk 
of human kindness flows free. 

On the way home in Lady Laurie’s carriage the 
girls must needs sit one on each side of their elder 
sister. 

Oh, Vera, wasn’t it nice? ” 

Aren’t you glad now that we went ? ” 

Vera had not the heart to damp their exhilaration; 
but she knew too well what that " niceness ” meant — 
fresh links, increasing complications, then another rup- 
ture. And a rupture now would involve the children as 
well as herself. 

On the following day a hired carriage drove up to 
the door, and the maid-of-all-work announced Mrs. 
Bright.” Vera had not been troubled with callers 
since Betsy left, and had given no instructions. In any 
case she would have wished to see Mrs. Bright. If 
there was anything to know, she preferred to know it. 

She was relieved to And that the visitor was very 
cordial indeed. 

I begged Lady Laurie to introduce me last night 
at the children’s party,” she said; ^^but you and she 
were both so much in demand that the opportunity 
never came.” 


212 


Bluebell and Bracken 


It is very kind of you to come and see me now.” 
There was an enquiry in the words. 

On the contrary, I had better own at once that I 
am actuated to a great extent by selfish motives. I had 
a long talk with that clever sister of yours the other 
evening.” 

“ Judith? She seemed deeply interested in the con- 
versation she had with you.” 

She tells me that for the last two years she has 
been educated entirely by you.” 

I try to help them to educate themselves.” Vera’s 
smile atoned for the pedantry of the remark. “ Her 
elder brother is very kind and helpful.” 

Well, all I can say is that she does you the great- 
est credit. Perhaps you have been told that I have a 
Girls’ School at Duncairn. It is worked on modern 
lines, and I hope in a few years the girls will make a 
creditable appearance in the various examinations. Of 
course I am much handicapped by the amount they have 
to unlearn when they come to me. Most of them have 
been abominably taught. It is only the young ones 
with whom I have a fair chance.” 

That I can well believe.” 

Only a teacher knows what an oasis in the desert 
a pupil is who has a real gift for scholarship. As 
I say, your sister does you great credit. Miss Car- 
ruthers ; but with a view to examinations and openings 
in life, one teacher can never be quite the same as a 
staff of teachers. I want you to send Judith to me.” 

‘‘ You are most kind, but it is quite out of the ques- 
tion.” 

Might I ask why it is out of the question ? ” 

Vera laughed. It is like the reasons for not firing 
213 


The Way of Escape 

a salute: first of all there were no guns. I can’t 
afford it.” 

“ There would be nothing to afford. The gain would 
be mutual. A pupil like your sister raises the whole 
intellectual tone of a school. Her success would more 
than repay the labour spent on her education. Any 
teacher would be glad to have her. With modern ad- 
vantages your sister need stop at nothing. She could 
take a London degree or gain an entrance scholarship 
to one of the Women’s Colleges.” 

The light had been dying out of Vera’s face. You 
are very kind,” she said slowly, but it would not do.” 

Mrs. Bright looked disappointed. “ I hope you 
won’t decide hastily,” she said. Put yourself in my 
place. The most selfish of us does not live entirely to 
himself, and the work nearest my heart is to help on 
the education of women. Much of the energy one ex- 
pends in teaching is like the talent hid in a napkin; 
what one gave to your sister would be put out to usury. 
In educating her I should feel that I was doing some- 
thing for future generations; and I owe so much to 
past generations myself — oh, and to women living in 
Edinburgh at this moment. Don’t look on it as some-- 
thing personal. Consider it as the germ of the bursary 
I would found if I could.” 

Vera could not speak. She felt cruelly, bitterly 
angry. J udith was her pupil, her sister, her discovery ; 
and some one offered to do more for the child than she, 
with all her love, could compass. She had sown the 
seed and watered it, rising early and resting late, and 
now some one else would fain carry off the harvest. 
She needed no convincing that the advantage was not 
all on one side. The advantage was mutual; yet the 
214 


Bluebell and Bracken 


act had the look of pure generosity. Therein lay half 
the sting of it. Oh/’ groaned Vera in her heart, 
“who would have thought that I could be so mean — 
so small ? ” 

“ You must think me very inappreciative/’ she said 
aloud ; “ but, although it is quite true that there were 
no guns, there really were other reasons for not firing 
the salute. No doubt there is much to be said for 
sending girls to school; but there is something to be 
said for keeping them at home too, even if the educa- 
tional advantages are inferior.” She was ashamed of 
not being able to keep a personal note out of her voice. 
It was too ridiculous and gauche — as if she had the 
least doubt about the inferiority of the advantages ! 

“ Come and see my girls some day. It would be dif- 
ficult to find a happier, healthier family.” 

“ Oh, no doubt.” 

There was a minute’s silence, and then Mrs. Bright 
rose. “ I quite understand that you are unwilling to 
part with so delightful a pupil,” she said, “ and I hope 
you will forgive me if I have hurt you in any way. I 
should not be taking her away from you at all. She 
could come by coach every day, with only a two-mile 
walk.” 

“ So I may still have the privilege of darning her 
stockings,” Vera thought. 

“ In any case, I am sure you won’t decide till you 
have thought it over. Of course I know you will do 
whatever you believe to be best for Judith herself.” 

Vera went with her visitor to the door, arranged 
the carriage-rug, remarked on the weather, and waited 
till the driver made a start. She had lost all thought 
of the association Mrs. Bright’s face carried with it. 

215 


The Way of Escape 

What she had felt at that first meeting must have 
been merely the premonition of the injury this woman 
was to do her. She had not the smallest intention of 
giving in, but her sense of self-satisfaction was gone. 

^‘How people do take the gilt off one’s ginger- 
bread ! ” she sighed. 


m 


CHAPTER XXXII 


A MODERN ESAU 

Aline! Are you asleep f 
Are you?” 

Is it likely ? Aline, I am so dreadfully, dreadfully 
miserable ! ” 

What about ? ” Aline sat up in bed with wide- 
open eyes. Vera is very unhappy about you, Judith.” 

" Vera ! Much she cares ! ” 

Oh, you think she doesnT notice when you won’t 
eat, and go about looking wretched ? ” 

" Aline ! Can you keep a secret ? ” 

You know I can.” 

^^Do you know what Mrs. Bright called about the 
other day ? ” 

No.” 

It was to ask me to go to her school — for noth- 
ing.” 

“No! How do you know ? ” 

Oh, I know well enough. And Vera refused.” 

Did she tell you so ? ” 

^^No, she never said a word about it; nobody did; 
but I know.” 

Why don’t you speak to her ? ” 

Judith raised herself on her elbow. “Because I 
promised that if she would let us go to the party, I 
would never ash to go anywhere again. Think of tak- 
217 


The Way of Escape 

ing the party in exchange for this ! I am like Esau. I 
have sold my birthright for a mess of pottage.” 

The party was very nice,” said Aline reflectively. 

Judith tossed uneasily. So, I suppose, was the 
pottage.” 

Aline tried to recover a small share of the blankets 
without seeming grossly self-absorbed and unsympa- 
thetic. It doesn’t sound much,” she said. 

“ This was the one chance of my life,” said Judith, 
“ and it is gone.” 

“ But, Judith, would you have liked to take so much 
from a stranger like that ? ” 

“ Why not ? ” said J udith indignantly. “ I would 
have paid it all back twice over when I had a school of 
my own; and I woud never, never, never have refused 
to help a poor girl who wanted a chance.” 

“ Do you think Mrs. Bright is any cleverer than 
Vera?” 

“ I don’t know whether she Addles and speaks 
French. She is a scholar.” 

“ How funny ! ” 

“ It’s not funny at all. She says that at present 
the education of girls is far too ^ patchy and scrappy,’ 
and it’s quite true. It is what I’ve always said myself.” 

Aline did not reply. Tastes differ, and, for herself, 
she liked scraps and patches. 

“ You know,” she ventured Anally, “ if you hadn’t 
gone to the party, you never would have had this 
chance.” 

But Judith was too cross to be logical. “ I haven’t 
got it now,” she said. 

“ Vera’s awfully kind, but I wish she would let us 
see a few more people.” 


218 


A Modern Esau 

One gets so sick of the farm, the farm, always the 
farm.” 

Judith thought of Lucy Snow wandering forth into 
the world and ringing the bell of the Pensionat des 
Demoiselles. But a Pensionat des Demoiselles would 
not give her the education she wanted, and it was not 
so simple a matter to ring the bell of a plain Girls’ 
School. I beg your pardon,” she heard herself saying, 
will you bear with me while I construe a bit of Vir- 
gil?” Then her sense of humour came to the rescue 
and she laughed aloud. 

I suppose you think it would be very wrong and 
ungrateful on my part to run away ? ” she said when 
she had finally dismissed the notion from her mind. 

But Aline had passed for the moment out of the 
region of moral judgments. She was sound asleep. 


15 


219 


CHAPTER XXXIII 


THE RAEBUKNS AT HOME 

Dinner was over, and the library fire burned bright. 
Mr. Raeburn sat in his great arm-chair, deeply en- 
grossed in a half-cut German brochure. Presently he 
laid it down, sipped his coffee, and smiled across at his 
wife. 

Well, Ruth, dear — warm at last ? ” 

She returned his smile whimsically. Fairly warm. 
My off-shoulder says there is a draught.’’ 

He glanced at the heavy curtains, and crossed the 
room in search of a shawl. It’s a subjective draught,” 
he said; ^^but we’ll humour the off-shoulder by all 
means.” Wrapping her in the soft, white folds, he 
stooped to steal a kiss for his pains. By the way, 
I saw your friend Tom Allington to-day.” 

My friend ! ” She smiled absently. Worthy 
Tom ! — and what had he to say ? ” 

You would agree with him for once. He could 
talk of nothing but Miss Carruthers.” 

^^Miss Carruthers?” Mrs. Raeburn was startled 
into full interest now. ^^What does he know of 
her?” 

Oh, it seems he met her at a children’s party at 
Lady Laurie’s. She and her sisters were the belles of 
the ball in his eyes.” 

A man of taste is Mr. Allington.” 

230 


The Raeburns at Home 


“ ‘So, hey diddle-diddle, 

They’ll rank as an idyll,’ 

in fact.” 

I wonder whether Lady Laurie had called. She 
hadn^t even seen Miss Carruthers ten days ago.” 

Odd.” 

Mrs. Raeburn paused to think. I don’t know why 
we should call it odd,” she said. ‘^You know we 
thought the seclusion scheme was a mistake.” 

Well, she can’t go back to that now. She has 
broken the ice with a vengeance.” 

Ruth would not have been human if she had not felt 
•a pang of disappointment; but she called the feeling 
small-mindedness, and strove to put it down with a 
firm hand. She had taken a cordial liking to Vera, 
and she felt that the liking was mutual ; but, in spite of 
all her efforts, that snowbound Sunday at the farm 
remained the high-water mark of their intimacy. 

There was a knock at the door. 

Miss Carruthers, ma’am,” said the maid. 

Talk of angels ! ” In a moment both husband and 
wife had forgotten everything save the eception they 
had met at the farm. Nay, I doubt whether it needed 
even that to take them out into the hall with faces of 
welcome. 

In the drawing-room ? Why, the fire is almost 
out. Come into the library. Miss Carruthers. So glad 
to see you ! ” 

Vera must have walked quickly. She was a little 
breathless. 

You see I have taken full advantage of your per- 
mission to call at any time/’ she said with a wan little 
smile. 


221 


The Way of Escape 

That was kind.” 

Let me take your cloak.” 

You will find that a comfortable chair. And you 
will have a cup of coffee, won’t you ? ” 

We should warn you that it will bear no compari- 
son with yours.” 

Vera looked up. ^‘1 know 1 shall like it better,” 
she said. 

And when you have drunk it, you will tell us how 
you got here this wild night,” Mr. Eaeburn said kindly. 

“ Got here ? Why, I walked.” 

Thitee miles ? In that cold wind ? ” 

Vera laughed. One must draw the line somewhere- 
in the matter of the things one considers a hardship. 
That was none. Or, if it was, it shows how much I 
wanted to see you.” 

Mr. Eaeburn placed a stool under her feet. I am 
sure we don’t need to tell you that the feeling is mu- 
tual.” 

Vera drank her coffee slowly, and set down the cup. 
She was obviously nervous. The fact is I want your 
advice ; I want it partly because you are the only people 
here to whom I can go: mainly because you won’t 
scruple to advise the thing I hate, if you think it is 
right.” 

Mr. Eaeburn smiled. That sounds very alarming. 
The only thing I can say in favour of our advice is that 
we sha’n’t in the least expect you to take it — shall we, 
dear ? ” 

^^Not a bit. The chief value of advice is that it 
clears up one’s reasons for doing the other thing.” 

It is all so absurdly small,” Vera went on; ^^but 
fortunately you know that my life is made up of small 
222 


The Raeburns at Horne 


things. And I suppose I have lost my sense of propor- 
tion now, one does sometimes.^’ She raised her eyes 
with sudden, irresistible frankness : “ If you knew how 
grateful one is to you for being just — so — good/^ 

Mr. Eaeburn rose to put more coal on the fire. 

Don’t take too much on trust,” he said ; but our 
friendship and interest you may be quite sure of.” 

Vera drew a long breath. “ You know I am trying 
to do my best for my brothers and sisters,” she said. 

In fact you are the only people in the world who do 
know. When I undertook the work, I meant to give 
myself up to it body and soul. I thought I was abso- 
lutely unselfish in the matter 

I am sure you have come very near being so,” said 
Mrs. Raeburn. 

But I begin to see now that I want them to be 
happy in my way; and they want to be happy in 
theirs.” 

Mr. Raeburn nodded gravely. Tell us all about 
it,” he said. Don’t be afraid of details.” 

So Vera told the story of the meeting with Lady 
Laurie in the railway carriage, and of the children’s 
party. I suppose I must be fundamentally weak,” 
she said, or I should not have yielded in the teeth 
of all my principles. But indeed I did not wish to go. 
Every wish in my heart was the other way.” 

That was why you gave in,” said Ruth — of 
course.” 

Vera looked up gratefully. It was,” she said. 

No doubt it was very wrong of Lady Laurie to 
urge you to go in the presence of the children. But 
she is quite right. We all do forgive her much more 
unpardonable things than that.” 

223 


The Way of Escape 

after all, why should you regret it?’^ said 
Mr. Eaeburn. 

Oh, because that was only the beginning of my 
troubles.” And Vera told the story of the mesmeric 
friendship between Judith and Mrs. Bright. She 
stated the case as fairly as she could, and then stopped 
short. ^^Now what am I to do? There was not a 
doubt in my mind when I refused ; but J udith is miser- 
able. I want my own way, and am prepared to insist 
on it. But if I get it, and the children are not happy, 
I am checkmated after all.” 

Neither husband nor wife seemed anxious to rush 
into the breach. “ If you lay aside the special features 
of the case,” he said at last, you will see that the diffi- 
culty is as widespread as the human race. It is the 
time-worn conflict between the young and the old.” 

^^And I am the old?” 

He smiled. You are the old. It is the irony of 
fate that you should have been thrust into the position 
at your age.” 

But honestly I have tried so hard to make their 
growth spontaneous — ^to help them to develop them- 
selves.” 

^ Hinc nice lachrymce/ We all have to suffer for 
our principles. It is the penalty we pay for the privi- 
lege of having them.” 

^^And as regards the special case?” 

I am afraid we should have to ask a great many 
questions before we could offer an opinion. You need 
not answer if we are too outspoken. Is the future of 
your sisters provided for?” 

Practically not at all.” 

We hold very strong views here,” said Mrs. Rae- 
224 


The Raeburns at Home 


burn, about the desirability of bringing up girls to 
do some one thing well enough to support them in 
case of need. I suppose you meant them to be able 
to do that?” 

Vera laughed shamefacedly. ‘^1 believe I had a 
general idea that all four would set the Thames on 
fire somehow, and that was all.” 

Of course a definite bent in a boy or girl is a great 
leading.” 

Vera’s face hardened. And Judith has a perfectly 
definite bent for scholarship and for teaching.” 

If you had plenty of money, what would you con- 
sider the best thing to do for her?” 

I' want to keep her with me, but she knows more 
Latin than I do now.” 

^^In fact, you want them to owe everything to 
you ? ” 

Vera winced. '^That’s it, I suppose. Oh, I don’t 
want to deny that I am abominably jealous.” 

Mr. Raeburn nodded. That is a feeling with which 
some of us have abundant sympathy. But as regards 
the owing, it is better to look the matter frankly in 
the face. You are bound to come to the end of your 
tether sooner or later.” 

‘^1 seem to be coming to the end of it now. I 
honestly believe that Judith is trying to behave well, 
but she is putting on the thumbscrew.” 

^^Then, if you had plenty of money, you would 
send her to school ? ” 

But I haven’t plenty of money,” said Vera fiercely, 
and why should I be beholden to a stranger ? ” 

Oh, there I agree with jpu entirely. Mrs. Bright 
is quite right in thinking Judith a good investment; 

225 


The Way of Escape 

but you are certainly entitled to your own point of 
view. Mrs. Bright does not seem to have gone about 
the matter very tactfully.^^ 

I bear her no grudge for that. Perhaps I have 
not represented her fairly.’^ 

“ She might have waited at least till she knew you 
a little better.^^ 

Vera smiled grimly. I don’t know that I should 
have made it so very easy for her to get to know 
me,” 

Well, that’s true.” 

She said some very fine things about the debt she 
owed to others; but the finer they were, the more I 
hated her. Whatever happens now — however I decide 
— she has upset my poor little apple-cart.” 

Husband and wife exchanged a glance of under- 
standing. Mr. Eaeburn rose from his chair and paced 
up and down the room. 

Miss Carruthers,” he said, we have always been 
interested in education, my wife and I, and in our 
small way we have done what we could to lend a help- 
ing hand here and there. You know we have counted 
you a friend from the first day we met you. Why not 
give us the chance of helping with Judith’s education? 
No: let me finish. The money would be spent in any 
case, and spent on education in any case. It rests with 
you to say how much satisfaction we are to get out 
of it.” 

Vera’s heart stood still. No, no, no,” she said. 

That would never do.” 

He stopped in front of her. Now, why not?” he 
said resolutely. ^‘Let us get to the bottom of this. 
You know we are your friends, and you have given us 
226 


The Raeburns at Home 

to understand that you trust us. Why do you refuse? 
Is it pride ? ” 

Pride? No.’^ 

You think one may take friendship and sympathy 
and trust, and feel bound to stop at money ? ” 

She did not answer. 

“ Is that it ? ” 

No. I have never felt that about money. I would 
take it gratefully, if 

“If what?” 

She rose to her feet. She meant to refuse, and she 
did not mean to Say why ; but she could not help think- 
ing, almost with a pang of envy, what a chance it would 
be for Judith that people like this should hold a stake 
in her future. 

“ Good-bye,” she said abruptly. 

“Do you wish to go?” 

“ Yes.” 

He rang the bell, and ordered the pony and trap. 
“ Kitty will be delighted to have the opportunity of 
telling you how grateful she was for your hospitality 
that snowy day.” 

“ The moon is quite bright,” said Vera meekly. “ I 
need not say I meant to walk home.” 

“ Then it will be good for you to do something 
you did not mean,” he said with friendly hrutalite, as 
she resumed her seat. “ Suppose you make it a prec- 
edent ? ” 

But she resolutely changed the subject. 

When she finally rose to go, Mrs. Eaeburn took both 
her hands. “It isn’t really going to be No, is it?” 
she said. “ You wouldn’t disappoint us ? ” 

To her surprise Vera had wavered. 

227 


The Way of Escape 

I don’t know/’ she said desperately. Give me 
time to think.” 

Mr. Raeburn turned abruptly and left the room. 

But that is the one thing I am not inclined to 
trust you with. You might make a bad use of it. Say 
Yes while the mood is on you. It is such an easy little 
thing to say.” 

Vera glanced round like an animal at bay. Oh,” 
she said, ^^if you knew all it means, you would not 
press me.” 

Once more husband and wife were left to discuss her 
in a solitude d deux. 

“Well,” said Ruth, “will she refuse?” 

“ She will either refuse, or she will tell you the 
mystery. It is much better for her that she should 
tell you. Whether it is better for you is another mat- 
ter.” 

“ My dear boy, why will you harp on the idea of a 
mystery? Mysteries are so rare in real life.” 

“ Agreed,” he said, “ agreed. Very rare. But we 
have stumbled on a real one this time.” 


228 


CHAPTER XXXIV 


MEA CULPA, MEA CULPA, MEA MAXIMA CULPA ! ” 

^^Dear Mrs. Raeburn, 

Will you let me know when I may come and see 
you alone? I want to have a long talk with you. 

Yours truly, 

Vera Carruthers.” 

Mrs. Raeburn did not show the letter to her hus- 
band. She had none of the experience of the spiritual 
director; but a kind heart is an excellent guide. She 
wrote a matter-of-fact little note, simple and cordial, 
and she fixed the earliest possible hour for the inter- 
view. 

It was well she did, for Vera scarcely ate or slept 
in the intervening time. It is impossible to describe 
the tempest of vacillation she went through. Even when 
her will was fixed to tell the truth, her mind continued 
to invent all sorts of plausible stories to account for the 
situation in which she had placed herself ; and then with 
a jerk she would realize — what she had learned from 
bitter experience — that such stories were no real escape 
from the difficulty after all. 

The great temptation to lie lay in her conviction 
that Mrs. Raeburn could not judge fairly of the circum- 
stances. Social convention had thrown a great gulf 
athwart the world of women, and there was no real pass- 
229 


The Way of Escape 

ing across from one side to the other. Mrs. Eaeburn’s 
lot had been thrown on the sheltered side. Vera felt 
bitterly that her friend’s present impression, based on 
a misconception, was truer and juster than her deliber- 
ate judgment would be when she knew all the facts. 
How could she ever know? It would be hard, too, to 
lose her friendship. It was one of the very good things 
of life; yet what was the use of it when it scorched? 

Of one thing she felt almost sure — Mrs. Eaeburn 
would never, by look or outward sign, intimate to the 
world that she had changed her estimate of the woman 
she had so consistently defended. She — Vera — would 
know, and that would be all. Mrs. Eaeburn would 
cease to be her friend in any real sense of the word ; but 
she would not drop her altogether. She was bound 
over by her own goodness not to do that. Things 
have come to a pretty pass when I, Vera Carruthers, 
can deliberately entertain the idea of accepting another 
woman’s Christian charity. It just shows how good the 
woman must be.” 

Even when she stood on the doorstep of the Eae- 
burns’ house she had not the least idea what she was 
going to say. Who can predict the movements of a 
leaf in the midst of a whirlwind? 

The first glance at her friend’s face convinced Mrs. 
Eaeburn that her husband was right. There was a 
mystery. She felt wretchedly unequal to the situation, 
but the first move at least was clear sailing. She 
greeted Vera with the old cordial simplicity, and in- 
stalled her by the cheery fireside. 

I have not thrust myself upon you, have I ? ” said 
Vera in an odd, strangled voice. 

Thrust yourself upon me ? ” Euth looked puzzled. 

230 


“Mea Culpa, Mea Maxima Culpa!” 


“Of, of course, at this moment I have; but on 
the whole — since I came to the farm — I have not thrust 
myself upon you.” 

Euth laughed. “ No,” she said, “ you have done 
nothing so neighbourly as that.” 

“ I have not taken your friendship by storm ? ” 

Euth felt herself growing nervous ; and, if she grew 
nervous, Vera would take fright and slip through her 
fingers. She laid her hands on the shapely shoulders, 
and kissed her friend on the cheek. “ That is just 
what you have done — Vera,” she said. 

“ DonT,” faltered Vera hoarsely. “ You make it 
so hard for me to tell you the truth. Oh, you don’t 
know how bravely I can lie ! Let me say at once that 
I am not fit to touch the hem of your garment. Make 
the worst of that, and keep me to it. Never mind 
how I try to explain it away. Don’t let me off. Don’t 
let me lie ! ” 

And she did not lie. If we poor mortals ever can 
earn the right to anything in this world, surely Vera 
had earned the privilege of speaking the truth that 
time. She drew a pathetic picture of her own child- 
hood, but when she came to the actual tragedy, she went 
through with it bravely ; and, if she said, “ It was 
Adam,” she only spoke the truth as she saw it then. 

When she finished, Mrs. Eaeburn was sobbing in 
sympathy. “You poor, poor, little girl,” she said, 
“how I wish I had known you then — in the time of 
your trouble ! ” 

Vera could not speak. The sudden, unexpected 
sense of deliverance took her breath away. For years 
she had been bowed down by a mighty weight, and 
now — for the moment at least — it was gone — gone! 

231 


The Way of Escape 

She might have to shoulder it again by-and-by. Let her 
draw a few deep breaths of exquisite liberty. 

Presently Mrs. Raeburn began to speak. Her sym- 
pathy and kindness never faltered; but she could not 
conceal the fact that she was appalled by the awful- 
ness of the situation. The unspeakable thing, the 
nameless terror, the absolutely irrevocable that we all 
vaguely dread — had never come so near her as now. 
No doubt God had forgiven; she herself could more 
than forgive ; but no one else must ever, ever know. To 
Vera^s mind, strung up as it was at the moment to ab- 
solute truthfulness, there was something subtly depress- 
ing in Mrs. Raeburn’s relief when she heard how safe 
the secret really was. 

And when all that was over,” she said, what did 
you do ? I cannot tell you how interested I am in every 
event of your life.” 

Vera told the story very simply, though indeed it 
was one to draw tears from a stone — the story of a 
brave struggle carried on against overwhelming odds 
— a struggle defeated again and again because people 
would take too much interest, would grow too kind to 
her. “I felt I must work,” she said, “whatever hap- 
pened, and I stuck to it.” 

“ What a comfort you did feel that ! for, of course, 
you did not need to work.” 

“I did at first. There were unexpected expenses 
at the time of my father’s death, and for a time I was 
in actual need of money; afterwards — I’ll tell you how 
it was. As soon as the first pressing difficulties were 
over, I was actuated by two great feelings — hatred and 
suspicion of the ‘ good ’ women ; belief in, and sym- 
pathy for the " bad.’ I thought I would make it the 
332 


“ Mea Culpa, Mea Maxima Culpa ! ” 


mission of my life to lend them a helping hand — I, 
forsooth! Do you know it was heartbreaking work? 
Some really were bad: many were actuated by simple 
grinding poverty: the hopeful ones, the ones I had 
wanted to get at, all seemed to want grit and backbone. 
I said to myself, ‘ That is my class.^ Do you know it 
terrified me? I made up my mind I would earn grit 
and backbone.” 

Kuth tried to control the muscles of her mouth. 

Oh,” said Vera desperately, that is not quite 
true. It is so hard to be really honest even with you. 
I believe I had a hundred other motives. I wanted 
to prove to myself that I was none the worse — and 
for that reason I was always trying to make the most 
of the powers I had. I went on studying and taking 
lessons; I liked to be dainty in the smallest detail of 
my person and dress and possessions. The life of a 
teacher brought me in contact with people superior to 
myself. With the exception of one good lady who said 
I dressed too well, my employers always spoilt me, often 
made a friend of me. A candid friend told me in 
those days that I never looked at a great lady with- 
out learning something from her. There was truth 
in it.” 

You were never tempted to follow your mother’s 
profession ? ” 

Vera shook her head. I was and I wasn’t. I be- 
lieve success would have lain within my reach, but 
what I cried for was the moon. My whim was to walk 
through life above reproach — ^without a stain on my 
reputation.’ ” 

And so you have.” 

^‘Perhaps I have,” said Vera dejectedly; ^^but I 
233 


The Way of Escape 

have always known in my heart that if people only 
knew — one stain is as bad as a hundred ! ” 

You dear, brave, heroic girl ! In the sight of God 
at this moment what is my purity compared to yours ! ” 
It was very imprudent, of course, very impulsive, 
probably false, and might have done much harm; but 
it just so happened that the effect of the generous 
words on Vera was to teach her for the first time in 
her life the meaning of humility. Hitherto she had 
always stood on the defensive, had loved to dwell on her 
own good points, to contrast herself with the women 
whose selfishness just sufficed to keep them safe. Now 
that view had been taken once for all by a mind far 
sweeter and purer than her own. It needed no more 
asserting. She was free to think of her sins. 

You must not be too merciful,” she said with a 
pathetic little smile. Eemember your responsibility 
is great. You are the one person in the world who 
has the right and the knowledge to speak. Do you think 
it is wrong on my part to sail under false colours ? ” 

I don^t admit that you are sailing under false col- 
ours. You are a brave and good woman as our poor 
little standards go. Let the world value you as such.” 
I am not what I pass for.” 

“Which of us is? Would the best of us wish to 
confess our secret sins in the market-place? — our self- 
ishness, our worldliness — our meanness? I recognize 
no distinction. It is nobody’s business but your own.” 

“ I must not let you think that I accept the conven- 
tional view of it all. Every fibre of my being has rebelled 
against it. It is the secret, the mystery, that kills me. 
Sometimes I can’t breathe for it. You know — I don’t 
know whether there is a God. My father thought it im- 
234 


“Mea Culpa, Mea Maxima Culpa!” 


possible, or at least unknowable, though, he worshipped 
truth even in its smallest detail — that was wh}^ he called 
his eldest child Vera — and nothing ever answers back 
to my call. But I am quite, quite sure of one thing : — 
If there be a God, He is light, and in Him is no dark- 
ness at all/' 

The quotation came out rather jerkily, with an odd 
unintentional force, and Euth allowed it to echo on into 
the silence. It was one of those chips on the surface 
that show in what direction the current of thought is 
setting — chips that are only chips save to those who 
have eyes to see. With the intuition of a genuinely 
religious woman, Euth recognized that Vera’s convic- 
tion on this point was worth far more than her own; 
in her sheltered life she had seldom been tempted to 
lie; and, although, of course there was much that she 
longed' to say, she would neither change the issue, nor 
dilute the strength of the assertion with a drop of con- 
ventional assent. A quatrain, of which she could not 
even remember the author, was in her mind — 

“ One fragment of His blessed word 
Into thy spirit burned 
Is better than the whole half heard, 

And by thine interest turned. ” 

In fact, when she did speak again, it was to bring 
the conversation back to everyday things. 

I am very glad you have told me all this,” she said ; 
but I honestly think you should banish it now from 
your mind. You have thought about it all till you 
are morbid. I would simply put my mind past it, as we 
say here. You are doing splendid work, and the past is 
past. You have others to think of besides yourself.” 

Vera drew a long breath. I believe I can put it 
16 235 


The Way of Escape 

behind me now/’ she said. " If you knew what it is 
that a good woman knows and forgives.” 

Forgives ! ” echoed Ruth with glowing face. Can 
you forgive me my sheltered girlhood, my easy life, 
my husband’s faithfulness ? ” 

Vera rose to her feet. Ah, that reminds me,” she 
said — ^^your husband. You must not be disappointed 
if he takes a very different view of all this from yours. 
A woman can be God’s angel : a man is bound to be a 
man of the world.” 

In the first place, I don’t mean to tell him.” 

Vera stopped short in the act of putting on her 
hat. She looked at her friend fixedly for a moment. 

Then it is Goodbye after all,” she said. 

There was no doubt about her sincerity. 

Vera, dear, don’t be unreasonable. Why should I 
tell him ? I don’t expect to hear all the private sorrows 
of his friends. He would be quite content that I knew 
and was satisfied.” 

Vera laughed, a toneless little laugh. Oh, dear, 
friend, you are so much wiser and better than I,” she 
said; but, if I haven’t more knowledge of the world 
than you, at least I have paid a higher price for it. 
When you tell him, add one thing — it will be the answer 
to his first question, spoken or silent. Tell him I have 
not kept anything back: I have told you all.” Her lip 
curled almost imperceptibly. As a Christian man, he 
can’t forbid you to speak to me, and that is the main 
thing.” 

Mrs. Raeburn’s face flushed. Have it as you will,” 
she said quietly. 


236 


CHAPTEE XXXV 


QUARANTINE 

Vera reached home about dusk, worn to the point 
of exhaustion. She pleaded a headache — truthfully 
enough, drank a cup of tea with the children, and went 
upstairs to bed. “ Don’t fail me,” she said almost 
audibly. In this one thing I know you won’t ; but 
don’t ever let me get to the bottom of your goodness.” 
Then, tired as she was, she sat down to her table and 
wrote : — 

"Dear Mrs. Eaeburn — 

" Does it come easy to you to be good, or have you 
to struggle like the rest of us? If so, go on. It is 
worth while. Be good all through. Don’t be anything 
less than quixotically good. 

" Your grateful 

"Vera Carruthers.” 

She slept a long, deep, delicious sleep, and awoke — 
to a world which did not afford much scope for emo- 
tional brooding. 

First came the recollection that her servant was to 
leave that afternoon, and that an interregnum of sev- 
eral days must precede the coming of the next. Well, 
that was no great hardship, even though she had not 
the Kaeburns to work for as in those dear snowy days 
long ago ! Judith and Aline were growing increasingly 
237 


The Way of Escape 

helpful. Then there was a note from Lady Laurie 
which she had felt too tired to open the night before. 
Would she allow Aline to take part in some theatricals 
they were getting up? Everyone said her gift was 
quite extraordinary. The gist of the note, apparently, 
came in the postscript — 

I shall be glad to hear that you are all well. Two 
of the children who were here the other evening are 
down with scarlet fever 

^^Why donT you eat your porridge, Judith?” said 
Vera more sharply than was her wont. 

Contrary to all precedent, Judith began to cry. 
^^My throat^s sore.” 

She has got a rash on her chest,” vouchsafed Aline, 
half enviously, as if a rash were an order of merit. 

Vera’s heart sank. When did you first feel your 
throat ? ” 

Yesterday.” 

And why didn’t you tell me ? ” 

You were so tired ; and you had a headache too.” 

This was true. Vera told herself rather bitterly 
that the mother of the house must never have a sorrow 
nor an ailment. Then she remembered Mrs. Eaeburn, 
and took courage. Poor old Judy ! ” she said affection- 
ately. We’ll put her to bed, and give her a nice hot 
bottle for company.” 

Judith was amazingly changed. All her moods and 
tempers were gone, and she clung to Vera with a child- 
like simplicity that was very comforting. There is 
nothing like an illness for forcing us to realize what 
we owe to our nearest. 

A message was sent for the doctor, and he came in 
the afternoon, bringing with him an air of buoyant 
238 


Quarantine 

cheerfulness, as doctors do. He said it was scarlet 
fever, that Aline was sickening too; but he spoke as 
if the disease was an old friend of his own, who wasn’t 
half bad when you knew him; he discovered Judith’s 
gift for Latin, asked Aline why in the world she wasn’t 
married yet, and altogether no one would have guessed 
that he had spent half the night before with a woman 
who could pay no fees. 

The days had not yet come when a professional 
nurse is the first thing thought of under such circum- 
stances, and the doctor assumed as a matter of course 
that Vera would do the nursing. Fortunately it prom- 
ised to be light, as fever cases go ; but the prospect of 
combining it with housework was alarming. 

“ Don’t you think you had better stay on for at least 
a few days?” Vera said to the maid-servant. “Your 
new mistress won’t want to take you from a house 
where there is illness ; ” hut the idea that she might be 
put in quarantine alarmed the girl so much that she 
went straight home to her mother. 

And then indeed began a trying experience. Kirsty, 
the farm girl, gave what time she could, hut it was not 
much. Eric was perfectly happy, shut up with his 
books and his microscope in a room from which he 
was only allowed to emerge by the window; but the 
necessity of keeping him apart complicated matters 
greatly. His position reminded him of Monte Cristo. 
Vera, in her earnest desire to preserve isolation, could 
think of nothing more inspiring than the fox and the 
goose and the sack of corn. 

The doctor’s kindness touched her deeply. He never 
seemed in a hurry, though she knew his practice was a 
poor and heavy one. 


23d 


The Way of Escape 

My wife looks forward to calling when you get 
this business over,” he said rather sheepishly one day. 
“ She told me to tell you that she has been intending 
to come for ever so long. There are so many claims 
on her time somehow.” 

Vera smiled. I can understand that,” she said. 

You know I neither pay nor expect calls.” 

Of course she had taken him by surprise. He had 
heard that she was clever and good-looking and had as- 
sumed that she would be too many for him.” Why, 
he wondered, had no one told him of those haunting 
eyes ? — and her mingled pluck and docility went 
straight to his heart. 

He talked of her wherever he went, and his ver- 
dict, together with the information that she was in 
trouble, had its due influence on public opinion. The 
fact that they had judged her harshly in the past was 
with many quite sufficient reason for over-rating her 
now. It seemed as if from every quarter the tide was 
slowly but surely setting in her favour. If she chose to 
avail herself of it, a pleasant popularity was in store. 

But the only people she cared about were the Eae- 
burns, and for days they made no sign. In her wake- 
ful hours Vera’s mind was racked with every form of 
misgiving. Why should Mrs. Raeburn write? There 
was nothing to be said, and yet — if she only knew what 
her friend was suffering! 

In the meantime the combined housework and nurs- 
ing were proving too much for her strength. The ex- 
pected servant sent word that she could not come to a 
house where there was something catching.” On the 
fourth night Vera did not sleep at all. Every time she 
got up to mend the fire in the sick-room, she wondered 
240 


Quarantine 

where she should find strength to begin again in the 
morning. She had lighted a match for the fiftieth time 
when the door opened and some one came in with a cup 
of tea. 

Betsy she said with a queer little sob in her 
voice. 

Ay, it’s me. I’ve corned to see ye through.” 

“ And what about your husband ? ” 

Hoot, he maun e’en shift for himsel’. Nae doobt 
his sister’ll dae for him.” 

Vera slept for an hour, and then went downstairs to 
assure herself that Betsy was really there. Already the 
kitchen had assumed a different look. 

This is like old times,” she remarked wistfully. 

Ay,” said Betsy. If it was a’ to dae ower again, 
I’m thinkin’ it’d no be a mon that’d tak’ me from ye.” 

Everything went well now Betsy was back, and late 
in the afternoon Vera went out for a brisk turn in the 
garden. It was looking bleak and wintry, but a few 
monthly roses bloomed bravely on. Presently she was 
startled by the sound of wheels on the drive. Had the 
doctor come back? Did he think more seriously of the 
patients than he had led her to suppose ? It proved to 
be a brougham, but not the doctor’s brougham. She 
had never seen the Eaeburns in a close carriage before. 
Yes, they were both there, and she was caught. There 
was no escape. The blood slowly ebbed away from her 
face and lips. 

“ You must not come in,” she said hastily. The 
children have scarlet fever.” 

“ We only heard of it a couple of hours ago,” Mrs. 
Raeburn answered regretfully. “We have come to take 
away as many of them as you can spare.” 

241 


The Way of Escape 

Vera laughed brokenly. I can’t spare any. Both 
the girls are ill, and Eric is isolated.” 

Euth smiled. Then we’ll take Eric. Never mind 
the microscope. My husband has one.” 

Mr. Eaeburn had not spoken. Vera thought she 
would have given worlds if — herself unseen — she might 
have read the expression of his face; but she did not 
lift her eyes. You are very kind,” she said; ^^but it 
would not be right. Eric has been too much exposed. 

I am sure the doctor would not approve.” 

We are not afraid of infection.” 

No, but lam.” 

Then let me come and help you to nurse them.” 

Vera laughed again softly. I have got my whole 
staff of servants back for the moment. I have nothing 
but nursing to do, and not all of that.” 

“ Then what can I do ? ” 

Exist” said Vera with sudden seriousness. Then 
she longed to have the pregnant word back. I will 
let you know if I am in need of anything,” she said 
more lightly. 

‘‘1 don’t in the least believe you will, do you, 
Frank?” 

I don’t feel sure,” he said in a reflective, matter-of- 
fact way. “We rather want some token of goodwill. Sup- * 
pose you bring the dog-cart to-morrow afternoon, dear, 
and take this recalcitrant friend of ours for a drive ? ” 

Vera tried to speak, then tried to keep back the 
tears, then — without a word of farewell — she turned 
on her heel and fled. 

Of course no one else came to see her then ; but she 
was not neglected. The Provost sent a keg of oysters, 
242 


Quarantine 

Mr. Allington a brace of pheasants ; from Lady Laurie’s 
houses came a basket of lovely fruit. Mrs. Wright was 
kindest of all. With skirts well “hooped” out of the 
way of microbes, she called at the door to enquire. 

Little by little, as it were in the air, Vera began to 
feel the goodwill of the people about her. Was it 
peace at last? — or was the wound healed once more 
“ only slightly ? ” 


243 


PAET IV 


CHAPTER XXXVI 

ST. VINCENT ONCE MORE 

The night was very dark when the shaky old landau 
rattled up to the hotel at St. Vincent. All the way 
from the station Vera had been trying to make out 
familiar landmarks, but in the dim light of the car- 
riage lamps the sides of the road might have been a 
flowing river, and beyond was blackness unrelieved. 
The bell clanged discordantly through the empty house, 
and it was a relief when the dogs set up a chorus of 
doubtful welcome. The opening of the carriage door 
admitted a wailing gust from the pine-trees. Ah, yes ; 
to be sure : she had forgotten : there always was a wind 
among those pines. Their outline was invisible on so 
dark a night, but their blackness was a thing that could 
be felt ; and, oh, the sorrow on the sea ! Vera shivered, 
and the driver shook the glass door impatiently. It 
was locked. 

At length a gleam of light appeared within the 
verandah, slowly advancing, till it began to reveal the 
face of the woman who carried it. 

Bon soir. Mademoiselle/^ 

Boir soir, Madame/’ Vera’s eyes flashed the 
eager question with which one arrives at the house of 
244 


St. Vincent Once More 


impending death, but there was no response. Nothing 
had “ happened ” yet. 

Yes, it was still the same place in which she had 
known such sunny and such tragic hours; but every- 
thing was more dilapidated than of old; and Vera 
remembered after she had gone into the house that 
the broken panes of the verandah were patched here 
and there with bamboo matting. The dining-room 
had always been a sombre place ; to-day a single lamp 
made an island of light in a sea of gloom. 

“ How is Madame ? ” asked Vera. 

The woman shrugged her shoulders as though at 
this stage it were idle to enquire. ‘‘ Comme she 
said resignedly. The cure is with her now. Madem- 
oiselle had better have some supper while she can.” 

Vera was tired after a long unbroken second-class 
journey, and she remembered gratefully the excellent 
ordinaire which the hotel casks had been wont to sup- 
ply. But the wine had suffered like everything else; 
it was thin and sour ; only a parched and thirsty throat 
would have found it drinkable. The simple supper was 
good, however; the pots and pans at St. Vincent had 
long since learned to cook by themselves; and, by the 
time the cure came downstairs, Vera’s sinking courage 
had revived. 

The cure was a smug rubicund little man in a greasy 
black soutane. Vera felt a pang of envy as she ob- 
served the matter-of-fact air with which he emerged 
from the room she so dreaded to enter. To prepare a 
soul for death was part of the day’s work for him — and 
now came supper. 

She thought with admiration, as she had often 
thought before, of the wonderful mechanism of Mother 
245 


The Way of Escape 

Church. She never leaves her children at a loss; there 
is no emergency for which she is not prepared. What- 
ever happens, the fitting machinery is ready, and it will 
be no wavering on her part that will shake your faith. 

The two guests — drifted so strangely together for 
a moment out of widely different worlds — exchanged a 
greeting, and Vera hoped Madame was not suffering 
much. 

The priest shrugged his shoulders as the woman had 
done. No; as yet she had suffered little; she slept a 
great deal. It might be that she would sleep through 
the agonie/^ 

Vera longed to ask whether the patient was facing 
the enemy bravely; to herself death seemed such an 
utterly terrible thing: and the letter she had received 
from Madame a week before had cut her to the heart. 
She would have put the question if this had not been 
the one person in the world who could answer it. 

A kind woman,’’ the cure said, breaking expect- 
antly the long French roll that lay by his convert ” ; 

one who never willingly wronged another, kind and 
hospitable to a degree.” 

‘^She is the kindest woman I have ever known,” 
Vera answered eagerly. For the moment it seemed as 
if this commonplace little man really was the mediator 
between a sinful soul and its Judge, and she hastened 
to bear her testimony while there was time. 

At that moment the woman came in with the cure*s 
supper. If Mademoiselle will give herself the trouble 
of coming upstairs ? ” 

The hall was very dark, hut Vera had not forgotten 
any of its pitfalls — the unexpected steps, the sloping 
floors, the sudden turns. She made her way straight 
346 


St. Vincent Once More 


to the sick-room. It looked bare and squalid, with its 
broken plaster, soiled linen, and damp-stained walls. 
The invalid lay propped up with pillows, breathing 
fast; but Vera was reassured by the air of tranquillity 
on her face. Indeed, she did not look so very ill. 

Ah, how good you are to come ! ” she said grate- 
fully. Tell me, did they give you a supper you could 
eat?” 

They gave me an excellent supper.” How often 
during the long journey Vera had wondered what her 
first words in the sick-room would be ! 

All those hundreds of miles to a poor, old, dying 
woman ! I thought I should die like a dog, with no 
one really to care.” 

Vera^s eyes filled with tears. Such mingled motives 
had brought her — kindness of heart, doubts about the 
past, fears for the future — she felt ashamed. But per- 
haps with the easy charity of the sinner, the sick wom- 
an knew and forgave. ^^Do you realize,” Vera said, 
^^that I owe more to you than to any other human 
being?” 

Chut, chut ! How little I did after all ! Circum- 
stances made it all so easy. And you have been happy ? 
Turn your face to the light. Mon dieu, you have suf- 
fered too ! ” 

Vera nodded. Which of us escapes that?” she 
asked, fain to make the least of earthly joys to one 
who must let them slip. 

Have you ever met him again ? ” 

Never.” 

And you donT know whether he is happy ? ” 

" Oh, no doubt he is happy. He is prosperous — 
famous almost.” 


247 


The Way of Escape 

I thought you would marry happily after all.” 

So did I,” said Vera simply. 

Were you never tempted? ” 

Often.” 

“ Often,” repeated the Frenchwoman regretfully. 

Then your heart was never touched again ? ” 

“ I don’t know. Once I think it was. He was such 
a fine fellow — an officer.” 

Young?” 

Yes.” 

And really in earnest ? ” 

Altogether, at the moment, I should think.” 

Oh, how could you say Ho? ” 

He trusted me so absolutely.” 

Tant mieux/’ 

I could not have faced the cloud of suspicion when 
it came.” 

But it never would have come.” The sick woman 
tried to raise herself on her elbow. The secret is 
dying with me.” 

Thank God ! Thank God ! ”) Vera tried to keep 
the ring of relief out of her voice as she said, But 
not the fact.” 

Ah, hah! the fact. What is the virtue of most 
women ? That lady who was here when you were — do 
you remember — with the golden hair?” 

Yes,” said Vera eagerly. I never knew her 
name, but she must have suspected something.” 

Oh, no doubt she suspected something at the 
time ; but I convinced her that she had deceived 
herself. In any case, she is dead — she died last 
year.” 

And there was a man — a naval officer, I think.” 
248 


St. Vincent Once More 


He saw nothing in it at all — save a boy and girl 
flirtation. Mon dieu, how much he was in love with 
you himself ! ’’ A gleam that was quite of this world 
flashed from the dying eyes, and Vera blushed to think 
that she had called it back. 

I have let you talk far too much/’ she said. “ Rest 
now, and forgive my selfishness.” 

^^Selfishness? Pauvre petite! We are not all on 
our deathbeds,” and the invalid smiled with a courtesy 
a deathbed could not kill. I shall sleep long enough 
very soon ; ” but the words had scarcely left her lips 
before she sank into a doze. 

Vera laid a great olive knot noiselessly on the fire, 
and settled herself in the big arm-chair. Outside, the 
sea kept up a chorus of mournful sound. She felt as if 
she were standing on a patch of unclaimed ground 
between time and eternity, and an impenetrable mist 
hung over the river of death. She was glad she was 
not called upon to venture out into the cold and dark. 
It made her shiver even to sit and look on. Poor Ma- 
dame, how idle to think that this frail little bark would 
reach a farther shore ! And yet she was glad she had 
come. The sick woman was pleased, and — oh, the 
comfort of knowing that her own secret was safe ! She 
thought again of the haunting, pathetic letter that 
had brought her. Well, she had done her duty, she had 
shown that she was not ungrateful for the past — and she 
had her reward. 

She too must have fallen asleep, for she was startled 
presently to see that the invalid’s eyes were wide open. 
A rosary was in her hand, and she seemed to be mur- 
muring her prayers. 

When she had finished, Vera rose, and gave her 

249 


The Way of Escape 

something to drink. Can I make you more comfort- 
able ? ” she asked softly. 

Madame shook her head. The cure has given me 
great comfort/^ she said. 

“ I am so glad.” 

What should we poor sinners do without religion ? 
Ah, Mademoiselle, dommage que vous ne soyez pas 
catholique ! ” 

Vera sighed. Yes, it was a great pity. It seemed 
a terrible pity that the whole world was not catholic. 
But the Keformation was there, and it had to be faced. 
Not as a mistake, a one-sided statement, not even as a 
thing that was over and done with some two or three 
centuries ago. Had it not been going on everywhere, 
all the time, in the mind of every one of us ? But oh, 
the pity of it, the pity of it ! 

She roused herself from her musing with a start. 

Try to sleep again,” she said gently. 

"No, I have slept enough. I feel better. Let us 
talk.” 

"I have only one thing more to say. If there is 
anything I can do for you — anyone you are interested 
in — you won’t forget how much I owe you.” 

Madame did not answer for a few moments. 
" There is something you can do,” she said. " I meant 
to ask the cure. When I am dead I want this ring to 
go to some one — a good girl who loves me. I wish I 
could do more for her. You will find her address in a 
letter under my pillow. No; put it in your pocket; 
you can read it by-and-by. She is alone in the world, 
pauvre petite, save for a paralyzed brother whom she 

supports. She will miss me Send her the ring 

— and tell her — and give her my love.” 

SSX) 


St. Vincent Once More 


For two days the invalid lingered on, and then 
suddenly — without pain or struggle — the poor, good- 
natured, tawdry, sin-soiled soul slipped out into the 
dark. 

Vera had not spared herself at all. She had thought 
it the least she could do to feel with her friend every 
step of the way. No doubt on the mental side she had 
felt far more than the sufferer herself, for life was 
strong within her and the sunshine seemed so good. 

When all was over she went down for a last hour on 
the beach. Nothing here was changed. The pine-trees 
clapped their hands and the great blue waves were 
laughing in the wind. What did they care for death ? 

Oh, dear Mother Nature, who never grows old, never 
wears threadbare, never dies ! How young everything 
was, how fresh, how full of promise ! Vera tried to 
tell herself that she mourned a faithful friend; but it 
would not do: the bondage had been too bitter. How 
often in these years she had said — ^there is nothing so 
safe as love, save only death! 

And here was death. 

There is nothing so safe as death. 


17 


251 


CHAPTER XXXVII 


THE YEARS THAT THE LOCUST HATH EATEH 

At last,” said Miss Johnston, holding herself well 
in hand. I had ceased to expect it. Don’t ask me how 
many years it is. Like the children, I have got past 
Addition and have begun Subtraction.” 

^^You look like it,” said Vera admiringly. She 
herself had just stepped, weary and travel-worn, from 
the Paris-Lyon-M edit erranee at the Gare de Lyon. 

Miss Johnston was one of those women who have 
lost the bloom of youth before they begin to realize 
that they may as well make the most of themselves. 
To say that in the soldier’s sense she was smart ” 
from head to foot is an inadequate description. Her 
very accent was smart. Her efficiency in dealing with 
porters, cabmen, loafers, was positively startling. She 
was certainly making the most of her king and her 
pawn. 

Been having a little holiday on the Riviera ? ” she 
asked while the man fetched Vera’s luggage. 

“ Well — that is one way of putting it.” 

What is the other way ? ” 

I went to a sick friend.” 

^^Oh. Better, I hope?” 

Dead.” 

Bless me ! Xo wonder you look tired.” 

Vera’s brows contracted. It was still a bitter ex- 


Years that the Locust Hath Eaten 


perience to be told she looked tired. At the farm it did 
not matter; but in this gay world of Paris the charge 
was a serious one. 

Miss Johnston gave her an anxious glance. You 
want a change, I hope ? ” 

“ Oh, don't I want a change ! " 

ThaPs right. Step in. We won’t talk till we get 
home. There is nothing like talking in cabs and omni- 
buses for making one’s neck scraggy.” 

“ Then in Heaven’s name let us hold our peace.” 
Vera leaned back and closed her eyes. 

Miss J ohnston had a delightful little suite of rooms 
overlooking the Champs Elysees. A neat French maid 
opened the door, ushered them into a sitting-room 
where the tea-tray was waiting, and then took posses- 
sion of Vera’s keys. 

You will be glad of a cup of tea while Pauline gets 
your bath ready.” 

Vera leaned back in her arm-chair with a little 
laugh of content. Such luxury ! ” 

If you say so, I am honoured indeed.” 

Mondieu!’^ 

Such as it is, I have to work for it, I assure you, 
and I have very little service. I lunch and dine out ! ” 

" How jolly ! ” 

And I mean to have a holiday while you are here. 
We’ll frivol to any extent.” 

Delicious ! ” 

I have just sent off a sheaf of galleys, and now I 
mean to stop and draw breath.” 

Another novel ? ” 

Oh, no ; the new one hasn’t got the length of 
galleys. I write all sorts of things — often unsigned. 

253 


The Way of Escape 

Just now I am doing a series of Bicycle papers for the 
Saxon Weekly/^ 

^‘Bicycle Papers?” 

Not ball-bearings and cotter-pins. The two I have 
just sent off were The Bicycle as a Chaperon and The 
Bicycle as a Means of Grace. I am trusting to you 
for the next title.” 

You should have asked me sooner. I can’t go one 
better than the Means of Grace.” 

Now you must go and lie down. We’ll dine at 
seven, if it suits you, at the Cafe Bagatelle.” 

If that means ‘ Dress accordin’,’ I simply can’t. 
But I shall pass muster as your chaperon. I don’t 
suppose they admit bicycles ? ” 

She remembered how she had spoken to Mrs. Tre- 
vithick long years before of the dear old thing who 
serves the purpose of chaperon,” and, with a fine sense 
of poetical justice, she laughed. "What fun Fortune 
must get out of that wheel of hers,” she thought. " It 
is the nicest toy I know.” 

"We won’t go to the theatre to-night. Dressing- 
gowns and cigarettes are my suggestion. What say 
you?” 

" Good ! ” 

Very pleasant to Vera was the drive through the 
lighted streets, the brilliantly-lighted salle with its 
palms and fountains, the wonderful string band with 
its weird dance music. No doubt about the wine to- 
night. Miss Johnston had acquired a palate since the 
good old days. 

From time to time a literary man or an artist 
strolled up with a pleasant camaraderie, and Miss Johns- 
ton kindled into something more fascinating than 
^54 


Years that the Locust Hath Eaten 


beauty, and showed her wonderful teeth, and conversa- 
tion flashed and sparkled as it had not flashed and 
sparkled for so many years ! 

It was late when they settled down at home to their 
cigarettes. 

Do you know,” said Miss Johnston in her slow, 
emphatic way, “ this strikes me as one of the rare cases 
in life when honesty may really be the best policy. 
When two remarkably able people have known each 
other intimately, have parted for an indefinite number 
of years, and then have met, so to speak, in their dress- 
ing-gowns, their mutual criticisms ought to be worth 
while.” 

Vera made a whimsical grimace. 

“ ‘ The bud may have a bitter taste/ ” 

she suggested. 

True ; but it is an old prescription of yours to 
take the bull by the horns. Let us begin by saying 
frankly, ‘ How old you look ! ^ and then proceed.” 

The remark would be most dishonest on my part. 
You look younger than you did at Ixelles.” 

Miss Johnston laughed, and knocked the ash off her 
cigarette with a well-groomed finger-tip. Good old 
Ixelles ! ” she said. Qu'ils etaient done heureux, ces 
jours de miser e I ” 

“ Do you remember saying that our dressing-gowns 
were just typical of all the rest? I endorse the state- 
ment now.” 

^^I don’t think the quotation is accurate; but let 
that pass. Your dressing-gown is very nice.” 

Quite, I think. One wants a different adjective 
for yours.” 


255 


The Way of Escape 

Miss Johnston had not broken ont in laces and 
chiffons. She had too mnch sense of fitness for 
that. 

She wore a soft white wrap, light and finffy as new- 
fallen snow, with a friar’s rope and hood. 

Yon seem to indicate that I shall come off best 
in the truth-telling business. You forget my novel.” 

True,” said Vera. For the moment I did for- 
get. ^ Oh, that mine enemy would write a book ! ’ I 
read it.” 

Yes?” 

Oh — I wish I could write such clever things.” 

Humbug. Half of them were quoted from you.” 

“ I did recognize one or two ; but the setting was 
all your own.” 

When you have quite done sharpening your 
knife 

Vera drew down her brows. The fact is, you have 
battened on sweetmeats and cream till you long for 
a Hering-Saladf or for Kobert Macaire’s Saure OurTce. 
Very good: you shall have it. I was immensely im- 
pressed at first; but, after the first hundred pages, I 
began to feel as if I were walking through a forest of 
Christmas trees. It was extraordinarily pretty and ef- 
fective, but one did get enough of red candles and mar- 
zipan. One began to long for the reality and peaceful- 
ness of a real pine wood.” 

Miss Johnston nodded. ^^Yet half-a-dozen pub- 
lishers are begging for ^ another of the same.’ They 
say what the public wants just now is epigram.” 

And, failing that, they will take terse misstate- 
ments ? ” 

^^Whew! You went through the bone that time. 

256 


Years that the Locust Hath Eaten 


Look alive with your artery forceps or the patient will 
bleed to death/^ 

Vera held out her hand. “ It is clearly a case of 
envy, hatred, malice, and all uncharitableness,’^ she 
said. “ Oh, it is quite true. There is that element 
in it. But you should hear the pride with which I 
say, ^ Kenneth McNeil? Why, he is quite an old friend 
of mine ! ’ 

Miss J ohnston took the offered hand. It is not 
a case of envy,” she said, “ for the very good reason 
that you have got something up your sleeve all the time. 
I don’t know what it is — a three-act play perhaps, or a 
striking bit of research for the British Association.” 

Don’t,” said Vera. The words went through her 
like a knife. " I have nothing up my sleeve. It is a 
simple case of the years that the locust hath eaten.” 

‘^Honour bright?” 

Honour bright.” 

There was a minute’s silence. Miss J ohnston looked 
at her friend hard, and honestly tried to think of 
something consoling to say, but it was no use. The 
bloom, the roundness, the sprightliness — all were gone ; 
and what was left? Something, no doubt; but one 
could not give it a name, and what those men in the 
Cafe Bagatelle had admired was not the new something, 
but the ghost of the old witchery. If they could but 
have known what a mere ghost it was ! If they could 
but have guessed at the former glory ! In the olden 
days, Vera, with her pretty gowns, her freshness, her 
audacity, her moods, had come like a revelation into 
the dingy rooms at Ixelles ; and her companion had been 
idealizing her ever since. The somewhat worn and 
pensive face was a shock : it set Miss J ohnston thinking 
257 


The Way of Escape 

— fantastically enongli — of the opening lines of The 
Stones of Venice. 

When at last she spoke, it was harshly. “I am 
not going to waste a shred of sympathy on you, you 
know. You were warned.^’ 

Oh, yes, I was warned ; and I don’t ask for the 
sympathy. I don’t regret it.” 

Truly?” 

Vera sighed. “ I shouldn’t regret it for one moment 
if I could really see that I had achieved much. But 
the children would have got on under any regime, 
and I broke their aunt’s heart by taking them from 
her.” 

I wish to Heaven she had broken yours ! Why 
on earth didn’t you let her have her way ? ” 

Well, she was poor and pious and sickly and 
low-spirited. They would have had no education to 
speak of.” 

And can’t she take them over now ? ” 

^^No,” said Vera slowly; she died last winter.” 

Little brutes ! And how have they turned out ? 
Frauds, I suppose.” 

Vera stretched out her hands to the fire and her 
eyes kindled. The children — oh, they are perfectly 
splendid.” 

They are, are they ? Confound ’em. I have heard 
nothing about them since you told them it didn’t mat- 
ter what they said so long as they said it in good 
French.” 

^^What was the joke? — There have been so many.” 

They said if they didn’t know the French for 
ham sandwich, was it the correct procedure to ask for 
la crepuscule” 


258 


Years that the Locust Hath Eaten 


remember. We had just been reading about 
the shades of twilight, and they were so proud of the 
word.” 

“But, bless me! that was a hundred years ago. 
Are they children still ? ” 

“ Oh, dear, no. Harold is a medical student in 
Edinburgh. I hope he will pass his Final in a few 
months. And Judith is doing splendidly at Newnham, 
and Aline is going on the stage, and Eric ” 

“ Going on the stage ? Has she ^ that ^ ” 

“ In a measure. I was frightfully opposed to the 

step ” 

“ WhyV* 

“ Oh, I suppose I am growing conventional in my 
old age; but the stars in their courses fought against 
me. We have wealthy neighbours who are devoted to 
private theatricals, and they simply took Aline by storm. 
She met Mr. Carl Schmidt at their house, and he has 
asked her to join his Shakespeare Company. Herr 
KlesmeFs advice to Gwendolen Harleth is quite out of 
date.” 

“I always thought he took a deal too much upon 
himself.” 

“ Of course Aline will only have tiny parts at first. 
She was the page 

But Miss Johnston had sprung to her feet. 

“ Then youWe free! She looked at Vera critically 
again. How that her face had lighted up, she was very 
pretty still. She had temperament, charm. Life was 
not behind her after 11. Given freedom from care, 
artistic interests, sympathy, admiration, luxury, she 
would be more attractive yet than she had ever been 
before. 


259 


The Way of Escape 

Free ! said Vera. Oh, dear, no. The sinews 
of war were never so much needed as now. It is an 
expensive business starting a young doctor. And Aline 
earns nothing yet : and Eric’s university course is still 
to begin. I must work harder than ever.” 

Darning stockings ? ” The question slipped out 

icily. 

“ Yes ; and earning money. I have a capital con- 
nection now; French, violin ” 

Stodgy little brutes ! And do they take it all as a 
matter of course, may I ask ? ” 

Vera laughed. Of course I began by expecting far 
too much. I saw what I was giving: they saw what I 
was withholding. That is life; one can’t complain. 
Providence must often have felt the same about the 
rest of us. But they are very good. When Harold 
went to Edinburgh, he wrote to Aline that he met lots 
of clever women; ^but they’re not a patch upon Vera, 
you know.’ ” 

She blushed as she spoke, as though she were re- 
peating the flattery of a lover. 

^^Hot a patch upon Yera,” repeated Miss Johnston 
with slow emphasis. I should think they were not a 
patch upon Yera. My dear girl, have you the least 
idea what the promise of your youth was? And now 
for all the best years of his life Pegasus has been toil- 
ing in harness. What’s that you say ? He did so many 
foot-pounds of honest work ? Confound honest work ! 
He might have been driving the chariot of the sun.” 

Yera winced. She was far from taking herself at 
Miss Johnston’s valuation; hut she was abundantly 
alive to the germ of truth at the heart of all this non- 
sense. The virtues she had been laboriously acquiring 
260 


Years that the Locust Hath Eaten 


at the farm were of no more value here than were her 
English shillings and sixpences in the Paris shops. 
In any case, she was reaching the time of life when 
people begin to see that their lot is cast — when they 
look back to the branchings of the road, and think — 

and wonder The awakening was bound to come; 

but Miss Johnston was opening her eyes with a light- 
ning flash. 

Why didn’t you write ? ” 

I couldn’t.” 

Of course not when you were worn out with feed- 
ing the pigs.” 

Vera laughed, but there were tears behind the laugh. 

Courage, mon amie! You are progressing. That was 
really funny. . . . My dear, you have a most mistaken 
idea of my life. You have no idea how kind people are 
to me.” 

Kind!" 

And I have two friends — think of it, two — whom 
it is an education to know.” 

That means they are making you narrow.” 

It is they who sent Judith to Newnham.” 

I am glad you were not responsible for that ex- 
travagance at least.” 

And they did it so sweetly, so tactfully. Have you 
ever felt the charm of sheer ” 

Goodness,” she was going to say ; hut in this pretty 
little Paris salon the word took on an antiquated and 
hypocritical air that frightened her, and she dropped 
it hastily. 

Miss Johnston sank into a picturesque heap on the 
hearthrug. ""Look here, dear old girl, it is not too 
late. Your work is done, and well done. You have 
261 


The Way of Escape 

started all those disgusting little vampires. Their one 
chance of not being hopelessly spoilt lies in being al- 
lowed to forage for themselves now. Eric can go into 

a bank or an insurance office 

Vera smiled. Eric! My mystical materialist! 
My Hegelian biologist ! ” It was part of the growing 
conventionality of her old age ” that she dreamed of 
sending Eric to Oxford. 

I want you to come and live with me. You shall 
be petted yourself for a change. You used to say I was 
good at petting ! We will read together, and go to the 
theatre, and hear music, and see pictures, and know 
just the people we want to know. You shall wear pretty 
frocks, and grow ten years younger, and have dreams 
and fancies that are worth a mine of gold. Do you 
know, Vera, those drawing-room plays of yours were 
extraordinarily good. We’ll write a play together — 
a play that will set the Seine on fire and make our 
fortune. You will get back your curves and dimples 
and have artistic Paris at your feet, and Guillemin 
shall paint you. And you will feel all the time that 
you have earned it — that there is a rampart of duty 
dohe behind you.” 

Don’t,” said Vera. Don’t make me discontented. 
There is a week before me of shops and theatres, and 
cafes and lighted streets, and — epigrams. A whole 
week. Why, it is an eternity I ” 

Miss Johnston drew rein in a moment. We can 
manage all but the epigrams,” she said drily. Epi- 
grams is hoff. But we’ve got some nice terse mis- 
statements. Real natives. Most people prefers them as 
bein’ heasier digested.” 


262 


CHAPTER XXXVIII 


FORGING NEW LINKS 

" Duty,” said Vera, is like Ibsen’s Brand, or the 
eternal hero of fiction. It must be all or nothing with 
him. Sisterly affection won’t do. He must have your 
whole heart.” 

Just wait till I get that down,” said Miss Johns- 
ton, producing her note-book, and then proceed.” 

Or to look at the matter from the other point of 
view — if you once cease to make Duty your one object 
in life — how detestable it becomes ! ” 

Then all I can say is,” said Miss J ohnston severely, 
so much the worse for Duty ! ” 

There is that point of view, I admit.” 

And the exact practical upshot of all this is — ? ” 

^^And the exact practical upshot of all this is that 
I had one microscopic duty to do in Paris, and, in all 
this whirl of enjoyment, I believe I shall leave without 
doing it.” 

^^And the duty was ?” 

Oh, don’t speak of it in the past tense yet. Why 
anticipate the day of judgment?” 

^‘The duty is ?” 

To look up a young person.” 

Oh, lor ! I know. That is just the ^ p’isonest, 
freewill Baptist’ kind of duty. ^I don’t know a p’i- 
soner.’ ” 


363 


The Way of Escape 

Vera nodded. The devil tells me I can write all 
I have got to say.” 

Well, very likely the devil is right. Have a ciga- 
rette ? ” 

No, thank you. In this case I am prepared to say 
definitely that the devil is wrong.” 

" Then ask her to supper.” 

Vera meditated. I don’t see why you should do 
my duty for me,” she said. “ But, on the other hand, 
why should I deprive her of a supper ? ” 

“ Why, indeed ? Except that she will in all proba- 
bility be too nervous to eat it.” 

Moreover, there is always something exciting 
about bringing two people together. It is like Joining 
up an electric circuit. One may alter the whole course 
of two lives. You might take a fancy to her. Her 
fortune might be made.” 

Look here,” said Miss J ohnston in alarm, I 
think on the whole you had better not invite her to 
supper.” 

^‘1 am glad you have taken the responsibility of 
saying so, for I think so too. An afternoon in the 
slums will be good for my soul.” 

Always assuming that you have a soul.” 

“Always assuming that I have a soul” 

It was not to the slums, however, that her mission 
took her, but to a prosaic old tenement on the other side 
of the Seine. Even on the doorstep she felt an un- 
accountable reluctance to knock. If such an action had 
not been opposed to the fundamental principle of her 
life, she would have turned back even now. 

And in the end she did not summon courage to 
264 


Forging New Links 

knock. While she hesitated, the door opened, and a 
young woman in outdoor attire came out. 

^^Mademoiselle Chamotton?” said Vera. ‘‘I come 
from St. Vincent.” 

Ah, then you bring sunshine. Mademoiselle.” The 
girl looked at her visitor with obvious approval, and 
her eyes smiled welcome. Pray come in. We want 
it badly here.” 

“ But you are just going out.” 

‘^No matter. I was only going to give a music 
lesson.” 

Vera wondered what her clientele would think if she 
treated her duties in so airy a fashion. 

The girl seemed to guess her thoughts. It is the 
daughter of the charcutier in the next street,” she ex- 
plained, leading the way into a conventual-looking little 
bedroom. “ She put me off last week. They only pay 
me fifteen sous a lesson.” 

Fifteen sous ! ” 

The girl nodded, took off her hat, and threw it on 
the bed. She was not pretty, but the details of her 
face and hands were singularly well finished, and she 
looked up at Vera with trustful eyes. It is not that 
I am not worth more,” she said simply. I had a 
good convent education. But I can never leave my 
poor brother for more than an hour or two, so I must 
take any work I can get in the neighbourhood. Would 
Mademoiselle like to see my brother ? ” 

Let me tell you first what I have come about,” and 
Vera gave Madame^s message, and told the story of 
her death. 

When she finished, the French girl was crying. 
^^Ah, poor Madame,” she said, ^^she was so kind! 

266 


The Way of Escape 

Last year she invited Pierre and me to spend a fort- 
night with her. He was not so helpless then, and there 
was an excursion train. What a lovely place St. Vin- 
cent is ! I never knew there was such sunshine on earth. 
I have seen it in my dreams ever since.” 

It is very lovely.” 

And you have just come from there.” The poor 
little teacher looked at Vera as if she had been a heav- 
enly visitant. How fortunate for poor Madame to 
have you ! 'You did not go on purpose ? ” 

I was very glad to be there, sad though it all was. 
I did need a change too; and this selfish old body of 
mine” — she smiled — ^^is the better for the sunshine.” 

I don’t think it is selfish. It can’t be selfish or it 
wouldn’t have taken the trouble to hunt up poor little 
me.” 

The man who gives us credit for a virtue binds us 
over to attain it. Shall we go and see your brother 
now?” said Vera. 

Poor lad, he was an uncomely object, in spite of the 
loving care his sister had expended on him. Vera 
thought of the four happy wholesome creatures who 
were dependent on her, and a sudden loathing seized 
her for the mood of self-pity into which she had been 
thrown by Miss J ohnston’s unceasing fiattery and com- 
miseration. How ridiculous it seemed in the light of 
this girl’s devotion ! 

"" Don’t you get dreadfully tired of it all? ” she said, 
as they stood together on the doorstep. 

Oh, dear, no ! ” The ready tears had risen to the 
girl’s eyes. ''The doctors say he cannot stay very 
long, and then I shall be quite, quite alone. I never 
get tired of working for him ; but I do sometimes wish 
266 


Forging New Links 

I had a real friend here. The neighbours are very 
kind, but they are no company for me. I suppose you 
donT live in Paris ? And again she lifted those wist- 
ful childlike eyes. Their look went straight to Yera’s 
heart. 

^‘1 live in Scotland,” she said. am a Scotch- 
woman.” 

But — Mademoiselle — no ! And you speak French 
so beautifully ? ” 

My mother was French ! ” 

Ah, then you are a Frenchwoman after all. I was 
sure of it. Thank you so much for your visit. You 
donT know how often I shall think of it ! ” 

It was too pathetic. Vera^s heart smote her. Even 
she had never been taken on trust quite so royally be- 
fore. To-morrow is my last day in Paris,” she said 
kindly. “ Can’t you come and lunch with me some- 
where ? We ought to be good comrades, you and I, for 
I am a teacher too.” 

‘^A teacher? Ah, Mademoiselle, some day when 
you have a tiny niche to fill, will you think of me?” 

i shall never have a school of my own ; hut French 
governesses are rather in demand in England at pres- 
ent. If you should ever really make up your mind to 
come, let me know. I might very possibly find some- 
thing to suit you. And now let us arrange about to- 
morrow.” 

Five minutes later she ran down the stair. She had 
long since forgotten her old dictum that one never did 
a kind action without regretting it. 


18 


267 


CHAPTER XXXIX 


THE GATEWAY OF ESCAPE 

There was a brilliant little company in the green- 
room next evening, and for once Vera really satisfied 
the demands Miss Johnston made upon her. She was 
gay, spirituelle, suggestive — the ball was at her feet. 
Undoubtedly there was a future before her if she chose 
to avail herself of it. 

Did you see that tremendously bronzed, good-look- 
ing fellow in the box opposite you ? said some one. 

I did,” said Vera calmly. 

It was a Colonel Dunbar. Just home from the 
front — covered with glory.” 

Really ? I thought he looked military. And was 
that his wife ? ” 

The man of information nodded. ^^What did you 
think of her ? ” 

I thought her lovely.” 

Needs a spice of the devil to warm her up a bit. 
Perhaps she’ll acquire it yet. She is very young and 
an heiress. It’s well to be a hero from the front ! ” 

Vera was a little pale, but she had no difficulty in 
taking the conversation calmly. Long before the end 
of the play she had got over the shock of the recogni- 
tion : perhaps it was the reaction from that which had 
been spurring all her faculties into activity. 

268 


The Gateway of Escape 

It was long after midnight when the two friends 
reached home. A great silence had fallen on both. 

“Vera dear,” said Miss Johnston timidly at last. 

“ Yes?” 

“Keconsider it. You are a brand plucked from 
the burning. Don’t throw yourself into the fire again ! ” 

Vera rose from the chair into which she had thrown 
herself. She was tired — so tired that she could have 
cried like a chlid. Every nerve seemed to tingle with 
an intolerable, clamant exhaustion. She took a candle 
from the table and stooped to kiss her friend. 

“ ‘ Finish, good lady; the bright day is done, 

And we are for the dark.’ 

Good-night, dear, good-night.” 

Once in her room, she extinguished the candle, 
threw open the window, and knelt down as she had often 
done before to look out on the lights of Paris. It was 
all very beautiful and brilliant — and now she was going 
back to the farm. 

Was Miss Johnston right? Did success lie before 
her here? Give imagination the rein, and let it run 
free ! She would grow more interesting, more piquant, 
every day if she lived in this spinning world. She was 
safe now from the fear that had darkened her life, but, 
even if the unspeakable horror came upon her, what 
would it matter here? Would her editor care? — or 
the people who acted her play? — or these men who 
thronged about her in the green-room? Not a whit. 
A new light of appreciation would come into their eyes. 
“ Ah, the witch, I might have known it ! ” They would 
admire her more than ever, and claim her as one of 
themselves. 


269 


The Way of Escape 

Well, if she had it all — all that and more — ^would 
she be content? 

No. 

If it had been she who had sat by Colonel Dunbar, 
attired in that lovely gown, would she then have been 
content ? 

Oh, no. 

If — back at St. Vincent — Giles had come to claim 
her, hearing with him all the promise of the future and 
all the fervour of first love? 

Not even then. 

At that a great terror came upon her. Was she 
sinking into a mere death in life? 

Oh, God,” she cried in terror, take from me what 
Thou wilt; but leave me my joy in life!” 

The lights of Paris died away from her eyes : the 
occasional hum and rattle fell on unhearing ears. For 
a long time she knelt in contemplation too deep for 
words. Well, one thing was left — duty, righteousness 
— such righteousness as that in which the Eaeburns 
seemed growing every day — a righteousness that left 
far out of sight all poor achievements of her own. The 
thought came like a breath from the Alps at sunrise, 
so pure, so fresh, so bracing, in the midst of a heated 
world; and to her own boundless surprise she found 
herself grasping it with uttermost surrender of as- 
sent.” 

And then a strange thing happened. It was as 
though the dome of many-coloured glass ” gave way, 
and she found herself in the white radiance of eter- 
nity.” Lo, God is here ! For the first time the spiritual 
world lay around her so clear, so luminous, that her in- 
tellect had nothing to ask, nothing to say. It was the 
270 


The Gateway of Escape 

old vision that has gladdened the heart of seer and saiiiu 
in all generations, that comes perhaps in glimpses to 
every man. Vera had waited long for it, and it came 
now with overwhelming force. Lo, God is here. Cease 
to resist. Step out of self. Take His way. Half an 
hour before she had been worn, jaded, depressed — full 
of fear and foreboding. How a great gladness, an in- 
finite expectancy, coursed through her veins. She felt 
as though she had drunk of the elixir of life. It seemed 
to her that often before she had opened the sluice-gates 
of her being wider than she had done to-night ; but who 
was she that she should command the reviving tide? 
Enough — far more than enough — that it came now. 
Would she not gladly have waited for it a hundred 
3^ears ? 

Hours passed before she threw herself on the bed; 
but sleep was far from her eyes. The events, the cir- 
cumstances of life, were still the same, and yet how 
changed. A great unity, a great simplicity had come 
over everything. She had got hold of the right end of 
the skein. 

And the stain on her past ? What of that ? Did it 
assume a blackness undreamed of before? Hot so. 
Hot yet, at least. Shall the children of the bride- 
chamber fast while the bridegroom is with them ? 
About her ^^sin” she felt just this. In this supreme 
moment of her life, she was giving up all claim to 
happiness, success, popularity, the things that the 
world holds good ; she was choosing for her portion the 
kingdom of God and His righteousness; and, in thus 
giving up her future, she instinctively felt the right 
to give up her past. If the kingdom of God was the 
one thing for which she cared. Omnipotence for ever- 
271 


The Way of Escape 

more was on her side. The past was not blotted out: 
never that. But, if she was ever called upon to face it, 
she would face it with the hosts of the Lord at her 
back. Herein lay freedom ; herein lay the way of escape. 

Of course she thought she had attained, poor Vera ! 
Well for her that she did think so. What martyrdom 
would be difficult in an hour like that? The con- 
ception was so beautiful, so dazzling, that it blotted 
out all meaner desires and fancies. She had yet to learn 
what it means to work the conception out in the un- 
manageable clay with which this world provides us. 


272 


CHAPTER XL 


BROTHER AND SISTER 

Well, whatever her motives may have heen” said 
Mrs. Bartlett severely, I was glad to see her in church. 
I could see she felt it. It must have been a great set- 
down to her pride.” 

But the aggravating thing about people who are 
living keenly at first hand is that they are seldom aware 
of the inconsistency of their behaviour, and there was 
a pagan artlessness about Yera’s religion that could 
not but be trying to the conventional Christian. She 
had gone to church in sheer gladness of heart, and not 
from a sense of duty at all. It is seldom for the real 
forced marches of life that we receive the credit and 
praise. The wounds that leave the blood-prints on the 
stones are oftenest unseen by every eye hut our own. 

She had never been slow about anything, and she did 
not tarry now. With all her faults she had never been 
half-hearted. If this life was to be lived at all, she 
would live it with all her might. What amazed her 
most was the discovery that she took her place in the 
kingdom of Heaven with every one else. It had not 
been so as a rule with the righteous ” of earth ; but 
there was no drawing aside of garments in a world 
where everyone only wanted the lowest place. She 
wished sometimes that she could begin the education 
of her brothers and sisters all over again ; but she did 
273 


The Way of Escape 

not reproach herself for what she had left undone. She 
could no more have created this experience for herself 
than she could have breathed in water or floated in air: 
the marvellous thing was, not that it came late, bu.t 
that it should have come at all. It was above and be- 
yond all she had hoped and dreamed, and it had come 
with a rush of surprise, exceeding the surprise of first 
love. She could have found a very natural explanation 
of a similar experience in some one else; hut, looking 
back on the hour when she had knelt at the window, 
jaded and spent, incapable of originating a thought of 
any kind, she could not doubt that her mind had been 
recipient merely. 

She thought of the boundless effrontery of her words 
long ago to the children’s aunt — I Tcnow you never 
will ^see.’” But who could have guessed that Miss 
Anderson was referring to this? 

She felt a naive wonder — I had almost said curi- 
osity” — as to how the new principle would work out 
in daily life. Her first feeling was that it must make 
a profound change in everything — that she would go 
back to the farm a different being — 

And so she did: hut I have no tale to tell of start- 
ling renunciations and unconventional deeds. She had 
no sooner begun to put the new principle in practice — 
or rather, to leave herself in its hands — than she real- 
ized the danger of letting the light merely flash off the 
surface of her being. It must take possession of the 
centre, and radiate to the surface in its own way. 

And so the obvious change in her was attributed to 
many inadequate causes. She could not conceal the 
radiant gladness, the confidence, the growing fearless- 
ness, that had taken possession of her. Everyone said 
274 


Brother and Sister 


that the little outing had done her good; and they were 
quite right. So it had. Looking on at our fellow-men 
— nay, looking into our own hearts — can we ever tell 
when the liquid is on the eve of crystallization — when it 
has reached the stage in which the addition of one atom 
more is enough to bring about the miraculous change ? 

Some weeks after her return from Paris, Harold 
came down from Edinburgh for a few days. 

Why, Vera,’^ he said. You’re looking bonny.” 

“ Come in, you friendly giant.” She led the way 
into the sitting-room where pine-logs burned in the 
grate and the tea-table stood ready. 

He stretched himself in the big arm-chair with a 
grunt of satisfaction. 

How awfully jolly it is to have the old place to 
ourselves ! I shall often come down this summer for 
a few days’ quiet reading. I hope you will be able to 
keep it on till you come to keep house for me in Edin- 
burgh.” 

It is to he Edinburgh, is it ? ” 

^^Well, I’d rather starve in Edinburgh than grow 
fat anywhere else.” 

But when you get the length of a house, there 
must be a dear little wife to keep it for you.” 

Harold shook his head. I take no stock in women. 
I’ve no faith in them.” 

Nonsense ! ” 

Present company always excepted.” 

^^You have faith in Judith and Aline, I should 
think,” said Vera hurriedly. 

Oh, of course ; but they are such kids, they scarcely • 
count.” 


275 


The Way of Escape 

‘‘Kids, indeed! That shows how long it is since 
you have seen them. Do you know that Judith is en- 
gaged to be married ? 

“I only got her letter this morning. You may 
read the first sheet.^^ 

“ Who is the fellow ? ” 

“ The son of Professor Jennings.” 

“I like his cheek. Has he anything to keep a 
wife on ? ” 

“ Not at present. They don’t mean to be married 
‘ for ages so Judith will be able to go to Mrs. Bright 
as classical mistress for a year or two at least. She 
took a personal interest in Judith that money could 
never repay.” 

“ I can’t abide Mrs. Bright.” 

“ That is your mistake.” 

“Time was when you weren’t so fond of her your- 
self.” 

“Very good. That was my mistake. You really 
must go over this new school of hers. It ought to be 
finished in a few months now. It is a work of positive 
genius. Yes, I like Mrs. Bright very much.” 

“ Oh, if you mean to go in for liking every- 
body !” 

Vera laughed. “Well, there is something to be 
said for that too. Seriously, one of the compensations 
for growing older is that one does get to like people 
better, and to realize more how good they are.” 

“ Good!'* said Harold wearily. 

There was a minute’s silence. “Did you ever re- 
flect,” Vera said, “ on the scope there is in sheer good- 
ness ? ” 


276 


Brother and Sister 


you’re so keen on scope/’ said Harold drily, 
^^it’s a pity it isn’t you who are going in for this 
blessed Final, instead of me. How long has this busi- 
ness been brewing?” 

Read, boy, read ! It is a very bonny letter.” 

So it was. When Harold had finished reading it, 
he sat absent-mindedly pressing his fingers along its 
folds for some minutes before he spoke. 

“I say, Vera,” he said at last; “it was an awfully 
heroic undertaking on your part, and I’m afraid we 
were beastly ungrateful.” 

“ Indeed you were not. You least of all. You were 
always a comfort, Harold.” 

“ You see we did not understand. We did not see 
that you were undertaking all the trials of mother- 
hood — well, most of the trials of motherhood — without 
the grande passion at the beginning to carry you 
through.” 

Vera laughed softly. “ You still believe in grandes 
passions then, though you have lost faith in the sex ? ” 

He raised his eyebrows. “Judith seems to have 
found one. I never shall.” 

“ Oh, yes, you will.” 

“ We doctors see too much of the seamy side of 
life.” 

“ Are you sure some of you don’t carry the seamy 
side in with you?” 

“No doubt. I don’t profess to be better than my 
kind. But take Willoughby now.” 

A tongue of flame leapt up among the pine-logs, and 
Vera took a pamphlet from the table to shield her 
face. “Yes?” 

“ You’ve heard me speak of him. He is an awfully 
277 


The Way of Escape 

fine fellow. Yon know when Harrington died he came 
in for a splendid practice — is wired for all over the 
country in the sort of cases that mean a three-hundred 
guinea cheque. Well, he had been sent for to do a big 
operation up north, travelling home all night, and on 
his way from the station he made a three mile detour 
to see a dying woman from whom he didn’t mean to 
take any fee at all.” 

There was a pause. 

Well? ” said Vera. 

Well what?” 

I thought you were working up to a ‘ but ’ ” — 

Was I ? Oh, I remember. It was about women. 
Kind as he is, he thinks they are an awful fraud.” 

“ How do you know ? ” 

Oh, you can tell by the things he lets drop to his 
patients in the wards; and, besides, his resident is 
rather a chum of mine.” 

^Hs Dr. Willoughby married?” 

Yes ; if you call that being married. His wife is 
a regular ^ buddy ’ — always ^ taking a leading part ’ in 
something or other; and I know for a fact that she 
orders tracts by the ten thousand. They are roughly 
classified in stacks — the converted, the unconverted, the 
sick, the backslider, the sceptic ! — for all the world like 
the stock mixtures in a one-horse dispensary. I don’t 
believe she ever writes a letter without putting one in, 
and when she goes out in a hurry, she says, ^ Just run 
upstairs, will you, Jane? — two unconverteds and one 
backslider.’ ” 

^^Are there any children?” 

Ko.” 

^^Dr. Willoughby is a religious man, isn’t he?” 

278 


Brother and Sister 


Harold made a grimace. He fools himself all 
along the line ; but I^m blest if I know whether he does 
it consciously or unconsciously. In religious matters 
he just takes the line of least resistance, and you know 
what that is in Edinburgh. He rings hollow somehow.^^ 
Vera was silent. For the first time that event in 
the past had stepped out of the realm of convention, 
and had become a moral thing. 

Harold did not speak again for some time. I am 
grateful to you for many things, Vera,” he said, but 
most of all for having lifted us out of that disgusting 
world of goodiness and pietism. The very smell of it 
makes one sick.” 

Vera was leaning forward now, looking fixedly into 
the fire. The Pilgrims’ Chorus on a barrel-organ 
might make you sick.” She drew her hand across her 
brow. Do you know, Harold, my main quarrel with 
the goody people is not that they said these things, but 
that they did not say them as if they were true/' 

“ Oh, I don’t deny that there may he something at 
the back of it; but all the evidence points the other 
way.” 

Does it?” 

Well, don’t you think so — honestly ? ” 

You know I will answer honestly if I answer at all. 
At your age — in our generation — I think the evidence 
does point the other way; and you would think I was 
taking a cheap and easy way out of the difficulty if I 
said it was not altogether a question of evidence — but 
as one grows older and watches life” — she paused in 
search of fitting words — one begins to see the things 
that are not bring to nought the things that are/' 

Harold did not answer. The question interested 
279 


The Way of Escape 

him very much; but he was not in a mood for the dis- 
cussion then. However the universe might be gov- 
erned, his Final was the main point for him at the 
moment. Vera left it to him to make the next move. 
It was a startling digression. 

By the way,^’ he said awkwardly, I meant to ask 
you — how are funds?” 

Flourishing.” 

I am thankful to think I shall soon be off your 
hands; but the next few months will be the very devil 
for expense.” 

Naturally.” 

And there are one or two things that I can quite 
well do without ” 

For instance ? ” 

He changed his position uncomfortably. “ Oh, well, 
there will be divers functions — professorial dinners and 
the like — and you know I never had a dress-coat.” 

^^Why, Harold?” 

Well, you know, some of the fellows simply haven’t 
got dress-coats, and, if necessary, I am quite content to 
be one of them.” 

Vera felt a lump in her throat. But I am not,” 
she said. " What a brute I have been not to think of 
it. Of course you must have one. Stop a bit, Harold. 
I’ll fetch my cash-book and show you just how we stand. 
There is plenty of money.” 

Brother and sister spent a very happy evening to- 
gether, and, when they parted for the night, Harold 
stooped to kiss her affectionately. I have faith in 
you, anyhow, Donna Vera,” he said. 


280 


CHAPTER XLI 


A GKEAT VENTUKE 

The new school really did bid fair to become the 
talk of the countryside. Hitherto Mrs. Bright had 
worked quietly and unobtrusively, renting an additional 
dwelling-house from time to time as occasion arose ; but, 
now that she had made up her mind to build, she was 
determined to realize her ideal once for all. 

So the edifice rose and developd from day to day — 
chapel, gymnasium, swimming-bath, laboratory, and 
much besides of which that conservative old county had 
never dreamed. 

There were those who backed Mrs. Bright against 
all odds, but for the most part opinions were pessimistic 
and depressing. If the school had been for boys, she 
might have hoped to see her money again, but what did 
girls want with all this? Arguments that had long 
since died a natural death in other parts of the coun- 
try were brought into the field once more, and many 
were the opinions volunteered as to what was Woman’s 
true function. 

But as a rule the subject was discussed on a lower 
and more business-like ground. Directly or indirectly, 
the parents would have to pay for this, and, as everyone 
knew, the fees were quite high enough already. If, 
in the first instance, the money was coming out of the 
pocket of the head-mistress, she must have feathered 
281 


The Way of Escape 

her nest in the past better than even the parents had 
imagined. If she was borrowing capital, she was run- 
ning a quite unjustifiable risk. 

Mrs. Bright did not carve above her door the motto 
of the Marischal College at Aberdeen.* That prin- 
ciple was too thoroughly a part of herself to need any 
asserting. From the memorable day in her girlhood 
when she had declined her brother’s help, and — in de- 
fiance of all family traditions — had simply taken a situ- 
ation — she had been well accustomed to succeed though 
the world croaked failure, and it was nothing to her 
that the world croaked failure now. 

She could not perhaps have stood absolutely alone; 
but that was not necessary. The Kaeburns, Lady 
Laurie, and Vera Carruthers were among her staunch 
supporters. Indeed, between her and Miss Carruthers 
there had arisen something very like a friendship. 
Soon after Vera’s return from Paris, she had, at some 
personal inconvenience, come to the rescue during the 
illness of one of the school staff, and Mrs. Bright had 
been quite touched by the whole-heartedness with which 
the locum tenens had thrown herself into a temporary 
bit of work. 

And so things prospered merrily. Looking sanely 
and judicially on her own past record, Mrs. Bright was 
unable to see a loophole through which failure might 
creep in. 

She had sat up late one night over her accounts, and 
then had laid her head on the pillow with the delightful 
physical relaxation of one to whom sleep has been an 
unfailing friend. But for once sleep did not come. 


* **Aiunt. Quid aiunt ? Aiant. 

382 


A Great Venture 


Instead, a phantasmagoria of figures danced through 
the recesses of her brain, and — wide awake though she 
was — the whole force of her will was insufficient to keep 
her mind fixed on that 

“ flock of sheep that leisurely pass by, 

One after one ; the sound of rain and bees 
Murmuring : the fall of rivers, winds, and seas. 

Smooth fields, white sheets of water, and pure sky.” 

Most women of her age would have had a sedative 
draught within reach: the bottles in Mrs. Bright’s 
room contained nothing more subtly suggestive than 
glycerine, Condy’s Fluid, and Eau de Cologne. 

She went downstairs in the morning looking very 
much as usual, and of course it did not occur to her 
to say that she had not slept. Instead, she punished 
a pupil unnecessarily, snapped at one or two of the 
teachers, and failed to conciliate a parent who really 
was not particularly exacting — as parents go. 

No matter. She would dine even more simply than 
usual, and a night’s sleep would put things right. 

But again the night’s sleep did not come. 

And so began an experience which was new to her, 
but which is familiar enough to most men and women 
in these latter days. The pity is that, in the nature 
of the case, the experience is so apt to come just when 
a false step may be fatal — just when everything de- 
pends on our keeping well and sane ! 

It was autumn, and the two women were sitting 
by the fire in the farmhouse parlour. 

Unless you can come to the rescue,” said Mrs. 
Bright gloomily, I am undone. That is all.” 

19 283 


The Way of Escape 

Vera clasped her hands more tightly round her knee, 
but did not reply. 

^‘1 don’t cry out before I am hurt.” The firm 
lips quivered rather pathetically. ^^In all my plans 
hitherto I have simply never had to take my health 

into consideration, and now People tell such lies 

about sleeplessness that one does not care to enlarge ; 
but I would give a five-pound note to be sure of three 
hours’ solid sleep to-night. The doctors say I must 
have absolute rest, or they won’t answer for the conse- 
quences.” 

How did it begin ? ” 

There was no adequate cause of any kind. I sup- 
pose Judith has told you how abominably ill-tempered 
I have been lately. I simply can’t face the worries of 
life. One day three of my servants gave me warning, 
and you know my French governess wrote to say she 
had hurt her spine in the Alps and could not return. 
At any other time I should have thought it was all in 
the day’s work; but it worried and worried me till I 
was nearly frantic.” 

^^Have you engaged another French governess?” 

^^Ho. There were two who wanted to come; but 
they have both fallen through. They are perfectly 
reckless about the amount of trouble they give.” 

I might possibly be able to help you there. I do 
know of a French lady who is anxious to come to this 
country. She has been obliged to remain in Paris hith- 
erto for the sake of an invalid brother, but she wrote 
me news of his death a few weeks ago. Her accent is 
very good, and she has pretty manners; but that is all I 
know. You would have to make the fullest enquiries. 
She might at least serve till you got some one else,” 
^84 


A Great Venture 


Thank you very much ; but — you are raising my 
expectations. You see I have chosen the very worst 
time to break down. I have almost built a school which 
realizes my ideal of what a Girls’ School should be. I 
have borrowed a great deal of money, and if our pres- 
tige falls olf at this juncture ! ” 

^^Now, take that reason alone,” protested Vera. 

You have been in a measure your own architect : your 
knowledge of carpentering, plumbing, plastering, and 
so forth, takes my breath away. I am no more capable 
of looking after the men as you have done — rousing 
their enthusiasm and keeping them up to the mark — 
than I am of drawing up a complete scheme of drain- 
age.” 

Mrs. Bright laughed. Oh, the worst of that is over 
now,” she said. ^^If you 'pretend to keep an eye on 
them, it will do. We sha’n’t flit before Easter.” 

Dear friend, you haven’t the least idea how un- 
suitable a stop-gap I should prove.” 

Eminently unsuitable in one respect — that no one 
would want to see me back. When you flashed across 
my mind this morning, you brought with you the first 
ray of hope I have known for weeks. Everybody knows 
you, and that little air of repose is worth a fortune. 
. . . Your birds have left the nest; your brother is a 
qualified doctor, with an excellent post in the Eoyal 
Infirmary.” 

And I owe you a big debt on Judith’s account.” 

. ^^No; you denied me that pleasure. Why did you 

deny it, by the way? ” 

Jealousy, ma’am, pure jealousy,’” paraphrased 
Vera, blushing. Forgive me! But if I denied you 
the pleasure, I did not cancel the debt.” 

285 


The Way of Escape 

Well, if you choose to take it so — by all means let 
us make the most of the debt.” 

Vera hesitated. Ever since that memorable night in 
Paris she had held herself in readiness to do the thing 
she was asked to do, unless it quite obviously lay be- 
yond her powers. Now, in the ordinary acceptation of 
the words, this did not lie beyond her powers. It was a 
mighty task, no doubt, but something within her leapt 
out to meet the suggestion that she should undertake it. 
She loved teaching, she loved children, she loved 
scope ” ; she felt that life had been too easy of late — 
Woe unto you when all men speak well of you! ” — 
she saw that from Mrs. Bright’s point of view she was 
the very person for the work. And yet — there was the 
past. It was buried now, of course. “ There is noth- 
ing so safe as death.” But not even the gladness and 
growth of all these months had cancelled half a line ” 
of it. 

She drew a long breath. “ Suppose I refuse ? ” 

I really don’t know whether it will be the church- 
yard direct or the churchyard via the asylum.” 

You have no other string to your bow? ” 

None.” 

^^Then make all your plans, and I will come and 
receive your instructions, and, if no one else suggests 
herself at the eleventh hour, I will undertake it.” 

^^You are good. But I mustn’t lead you to think 
there is a loophole of escape. The Lord doesn’t send 
His angel now-a-days.” 

Vera looked at her steadily. ‘^We shall see,” she 
said quietly. Perhaps He may.” 

Mrs. Bright leaned back with a long sigh of relief. 
Heigho ! ” she said, I believe I shall sleep to-night 
386 


A Great Venture 


for sheer relief.” Then the strong face hardened again. 

I knew I should not be beaten.” She laughed. I 
believe I am prepared to sacrifice anything or anybody 
to that school.” 

Some ten minutes later she rose to go. I see there 
is a letter waiting for the post. Shall I take it ? ” 

Thank you very much.” Vera had forgotten in 
the interest of the conversation what the letter was. 

The blue stamp on the envelope caught Mrs. Bright’s 
eye. If perchance the letter was to the French govern- 
ess, Miss Carruthers might wish to add something be- 
fore it was posted. As the thought passed through her 
mind, she glanced inadvertently at the address — 

U Cure 

8t. Vincent 

St. Vincent ! ” she exclaimed. Oh, I beg your 
pardon; but you are the first person I ever met who 
knew St. Vincent. I have sometimes wondered whether 
it is not a mere fairy region.” 

Do you know it?” Vera’s voice was singularly 
low and level. 

To my cost. A hateful place. My brother went 
there to recruit after his Final, and from that time 
everything seemed to go wrong with us all.” 

^^Your brother is ?” 

^^Dr. Willoughby of Edinburgh. Oh, you didn’t 
know I had such distinguished relatives ? He has pros- 
pered amazingly. We never dreamt of such success; 
but” — she paused and sighed — ^‘he has not fulfilled 
the promise of his youth.” 

Some one was telling me lately how kind he is.” 

^^Kind? Oh, yes. There is no quality to which it 
287 ^ 


The Way of Escape 

is SO difficult to apportion a moral value as to kindness. 
All through our childhood and youth we were such 
chums, he and I; but all in a night, as it were, a bar- 
rier sprang up between us, and I have never got into 
touch with him again. In fact I have not seen him for 
years. As I say, I sometimes think a Provengal fairy 
sent back a changeling in his place.” 

Vera did not speak, and Mrs. Bright laughed apolo- 
getically. I wonder why I make you my Mother Con- 
fessor — except that you have such a restful air of being 
out of the running, if you know what I mean. I have 
been thinking of my brother a great deal lately. He 
had a horrid spell of sleeplessness when he came home 
from St. Vincent, and I had no idea then what it meant. 
The thought of it all gives me a great ache in my heart. 
Well, the past is past. Goodbye — and God bless you ! ” 

Like one in a dream, Vera returned to the sitting- 
room and sat down by the fire. No wonder the first 
sight of Mrs. Bright’s face had filled her with fore- 
boding. What a fool she had been not to recognize the 
features long before ! The resemblance now — in spite 
of marked differences — seemed to her absolutely un- 
mistakable. Well, she could not draw back from her 
promise. Unless God sent His angel — she was bound 
to go on. 

He has never fulfilled the promise of his youth” 

I sometimes thinh a Provengal fairy sent hack a 
changeling in his place,” 

The words rang like a doleful chime in her ears. In 
a different way from that which she had always feared, 
it seemed to her that her sin was finding her out. 

had a long visit from Vera to-day,” said Mrs. 

388 


A Great Venture 


Eaeburn to her husband the next evening, as they 
chatted comfortably over the walnuts, Such news ! 
Mrs. Bright is going away for a holiday, and Vera is 
taking over the charge of the school.” 

Mr. Raeburn laid down the crackers abruptly. 

She looked up. Isn^t it splendid ? ” 

You must give me time to realize the situation.” 

I only wish the arrangement was permanent. If 
I had half-a-dozen girls, they should all go to that 
school.” 

Oh, that is of course. There is no mistaking our 
way.” 

She smiled resignedly. Go on. State your ^ but.’ ” 

“ I was only thinking that the situation is becoming 
sufficiently electric. A city that is set on a hill cannot 
be hid. I hope we are not working up to the last act of 
a problem play.” 

Dear Frank, with all its faults, life is seldom 
theatrical.” 

He sipped his port reflectively. That is true, and 
the drama of life is mainly for those who have eyes 
to see.” 

Like the Kingdom of God, it cometh not with ob- 
servation ? ” 

It was some time before he answered. What if the 
coming of the Kingdom were the drama, and all our 
little sensations mere by-play?” 


289 


CHAPTER XLII 


AFTER LONG YEARS 

Ho reply from your protegee/^ said Mrs. Bright, 
and here is an application from a Frenchwoman in 
Edinburgh.” 

Vera looked up from her newspaper. Wire to her 
to come and see you this afternoon.” 

She distinctly says she can’t get away till next 
week. You will have to settle it without me.” 

Ho; I want you to settle it; but I will go through 
to Edinburgh if you like and report.” 

In this weather ? ” Mrs. Bright looked out on the 
driving autumn rain. 

Oh, I like rain, as you know. Besides, Mr. Carl 
Schmidt’s Company is in Edinburgh just now, and I 
want to see Aline.” 

“ Of course you have some good reason for wanting 
to do the kind thing. Let me see — there is a train at 
10.40. I will send for a cab at once.” 

The journey was dreary enough, but Vera was too 
happy to know it. Once more — after all these years — 
she was undertaking a big thing, and oh, the difference 
in her whole attitude of mind ! Then she was an iso- 
lated atom in the midst of all sorts of warring powers ; 
now she had no battle of her own to fight, and all 
things were hers. The inspiration of the thought 
brought a glow of tears to her eyes. It seemed as 
290 


After Long Years 

though she — even she — could never know what fear 
meant again. “ A thousand shall fall beside thee, and 
ten thousand at thy right hand; but it shall not come 
nigh thee.” If this rushing train rushed on into de- 
struction, what difference would it make? Was it not 
all a question of here with God or there with God? 
Youth and beauty and cleverness, all were slipping 
away; but something was left that would not slip away 
— something of which she could say, as she had once 
said to Giles — If s alive : it grows ! ” 

Aline had developed wonderfully, but she had not 
lost the look of dewy freshness which had promised to 
prove her great charm on the stage. “ To think that I 
should have the chance of entertaining you!^^ she cried 
gleefully. Oh, Vera, why didn’t you give me warn- 
ing? We have such lots to talk about. What do you 
think of that old humbug, Judith?” 

I didn’t expect this so soon.” 

So soon! She ought to do penance in a white 
sheet with a taper in her hand. Just think of all the 
things she used to say ! If it had been me .now ” — with 
a swift, kittenlike movement Aline tucked her feet 
under her on the hearthrug — no one would have been 
surprised, and ” — she laughed gaily — I am just as 
heartwhole as I can possibly be.” 

‘^That’s right.” 

I am having such a good time here, Vera.” 

You look like it.” 

"'It is so nice having Harold at the Infirmary. 
Hasn't he grown big ? You must be pleased, Vera, with 
the way we have all turned out ! ” 

Vera leaned back in her chair and laughed. 

291 


The Way of Escape 

And he is so nice to the patients. He took me over 
his wards. I do believe he will make a^big success.” 

The first thing is to get him started. It wants 
money.” 

^‘^Or influence.” 

Or influence. But we haven’t much of that.” 
Aline hesitated. ^^You have heard of Dr. Wil- 
loughby — the great don here ? ” 

I have.” For years Vera’s information about 
Giles had been limited to chance paragraphs in the 
newspapers, and now it seemed as if everyone were in 
a conspiracy to speak to her about him. 

Did you know he was a brother of Mrs. Bright’s? ” 

So she told me the other day.” 

I met him first at that dramatic reading I gave at 
Lady Laurie’s while you were abroad, and I have met 
him several times since. Without vanity I think I may 
say he is impressed.” 

Do you like him ? ” 

do and I don’t. I am not like Judith — as she 
used to be. I don’t mind if men notice my sex as well 
as my soul; but when Dr. Willoughby looks at me, I 
feel as if I were nothing but a young — woman. Do 
you know what I mean ? ” 

Vera did not answer. 

“ But if I can make use of him in Harold’s interest, 
I don’t see that that matters. At present he only 

knows me under my professional name ” 

‘‘Oh, Aline, don't!’’ The words seemed wrung 
from Vera’s very heart. 

Don’t what ? You think I am playing with fire ? ” 
She laughed. “ I am very safe, I assure you.” 

I have no doubt you are safe.” Vera walked over 
292 


After Long Years 

to the window and looked out on the dripping streets. 

You can never have given the question five minutes’ 
thought or you would see that the morality of it cannot 
possibly lie in keeping oneself safe. Society draws its 
own line; but if we are to draw it in the sight of God, 
it must surely be between the women who avail them- 
selves of their charms to gain their ends — and those — 
well, those who believe that God made them too in His 
own image.” 

You dear old prude ! Why, Vera, don’t look so 
fierce. I meant no harm.” 

Dear heart, I know you didn’t. But things look 
so different as one gets older. One begins to see the 
thing as a whole from the outside. I want you to 
drink the cup of life hrimming, sweetheart. Don’t be 
in such a hurry to sip and spill. And, as you love 
me, don’t get into the way of talking like that even in 
play. How I must go. I am taking pleasure first, 
duty afterwards.” 

^^Will you have a cab?” 

No, thank you. I love the rain, and I have noth- 
ing to spoil.” 

That’s true.” Aline looked at her elder sister with 
loving critical eyes. will be very good and obe- 
dient, and on your part 

^^Yes; on my part ?” 

Don’t you thinh you could afford a new water- 
proof ? ” 

Vera laughed. ^^Does this distress you?” 

A wee bit. I do so hate dowdy things.” 

Well, we’ll see what can be done. Don’t tell him; 
but if Eric is to go to Oxford, I must look at both 
sides of every penny.” 


293 


The Way of Escape 

Vera’s errand led her to a classic-looking square, 
which seemed grim and depressing in the steady rain. 
The result of the interview was disappointing, and, as 
she descended the steps, she foresaw that Mademoiselle 
Chamotton would get the post after all. Well, one 
might do much worse. She was docile and amiable ; it 
would be luxury to work with a subordinate who looked 
at one with those great admiring eyes. I can make 
of her pretty much what I will,” Vera reflected with sat- 
isfaction. Whatever happens, she at least will be on 
my side.” 

Then her mind reflected back to Aline again. How 
fascinating the child was, how innocent, how mer- 
ciless ! 

This was the thought in her mind when she raised 
her eyes, and saw on a brass-plate the name — 

Hr. Giles Willoughby. 

For half a minute she stood still — realized with a 
pang of regret that she was looking tired and shabby 
— then, without a moment’s farther thought, mounted 
the steps and rang the bell. 

Dr. Willoughby? ” she said. Her voice sounded 
husky and indistinct. 

There were two men-servants in the hall. The elder 
struck her at once as of a singularly unpleasant type. 
He looked her up and down somewhat critically. Like 
Aline, he seemed to disapprove of dowdy things. I 
suppose you know this is his consulting-hour. Whoever 
sees him now pays two guineas.” 

I asked for Dr. Willoughby.” 

Her voice was clear enough now, if very quiet, and 
the man was cowed in a moment. 

294 


After Long Years 

The weather had kept most patients at home, so she 
had not long to wait; but it seemed an eternity before 
the footman opened the door and ushered her into the 
luxurious consulting-room. 

Dr. Willoughby received her with the courteous 
chivalrous manner that his patients knew so well. The 
light, of course, was behind him, and, as she took her 
seat, it fell full on her face. She raised her veil bravely. 

The silence seemed interminable. Fern? ” he said 
at last. His voice was scarcely above a whisper. 

She nodded, unable to speak. She had meant to be 
so calm, but nature was too strong for her. For a few 
minutes each strove for a decent modicum of self-con- 
trol — each tried to gather dimly what the other had 
become. 

When he came to himself, he was conscious of real 
pain at the change time had wrought in the petal-like 
face; but even in that first moment of disappointment 
he realized that time had given something in exchange 
for all it had taken away. Ay, what a face it was ! 

Vera ! ” he said again with outstretched hand, and 
now his eyes hashed into recollection of the happy past. 

She did not repel him, but he saw in a moment that 
he had made a mistake — saw that they had met, as it 
were, beyond the river of death. And then came recol- 
lection of the shameful past. He was facing within 
closed doors the woman he had wronged and forsaken. 
If he had foreseen the situation, it would have seemed 
impossible that he could live through it ; but now it was 
upon him, and it had to be faced. 

He armed himself with something of his habitual, 
conventional manner. She was obviously very poor. 
^^Can I do anything for you?” 

295 


The Way of Escape 

she said simply. 

Then there was another silence, during which she 
tried to master her feelings and bring her thoughts into 
form. When she spoke, her voice was steady; but the 
whiteness, the strain in her face bore witness to the 
effort she was putting forth. 

It is impossible that you and I should meet with- 
out thinking of the past, so perhaps it is better to say a 
few words about it quite frankly. I have often wanted 
to tell you that I don’t blame you. I did once, but never 
since I was old enough to reflect about it all.” A note 
of deeper pathos srept into her voice, and her face grew 
wistful like a child’s. “ Life is very difficult, and who 
shall apportion praise and blame ? I tried you beyond 
endurance.” Her lips curled with a suggestion of the 
old playful mockery. ^ The woman whom Thou gay- 
est me! ” Settle it between you, woman and God! What 
chance had I ? ’ I see Adam’s point of view from my 
soul.” 

His eyes were fixed upon the case-hook in front of 
him, and his face had set into the grimmest lines of 
which it was capable. Cutting reproaches would have 
been easier to bear than this unexpected philosophy. 
Well, there was no escape : he must hear her to the end. 

She drew a long breath. Well, I paid the penalty. 
I wrecked my own life, and I am dreeing my weird.” 
She laughed — laughed with one of her sudden changes 
of manner, catching sight of the quaint thought ahead 
— ^but checked herself quickly as the laugh slipped be- 
yond her control and ran into a sob. It is wonderful 
what a habitable raft the pieces make, and the situation 
has its compensations. One never forgets for a moment 
that one is on the deep.” Her voice lingered lovingly 
296 


After Long Years 

over the last words. Then she turned towards him 
with one of the swift, graceful movements he remem- 
bered so well. 

But I did not come to talk about myself. I hear 
so much of you now that you are a great man. You 
are so successful, so brilliant, so kind — so exemplary an 
elder. Everyone points to you as a pillar of the Church 
— a tree planted by the rivers of water.” Her voice 
sank to a whisper, and her eyes brimmed over with 
tears that did not fall. I have been hearing all this 
for years, and — it may be only my own guilty con- 
science — ^but at last I felt I must come and say to you 
just this — ^ Be a good man, Giles.’ Don’t let me have 
wrecked your life too. That is more than I can bear.” 

The frown on his brow deepened, and, with a swift 
movement, he raised his hand to his eyes. 

Forgive me ! ” she said desperately. Do you re- 
member how you stood in a great shaft of sunlight in 
the wood at St. Vincent that day, and reminded me of 
death ? I can see and hear you still. 

“ ‘I would hate that death bandaged my eyes and forebore, 
And bade me creep past.’ 

That is what you were, and I — I ruined you. They say 
^ the woman pays,’ but oh, the man pays too — perhaps 
far more than the woman.” 

A great sob tore its way from his inmost heart, and 
his head dropped on his arms. How well she remem- 
bered that head! It was crisp and curly still, hut a 
wanness had crept into the gold I How she had loved 
him ! How she had hated him ! How indifferent she 
had felt to him ! And now, to her own infinite surprise, 
she had come to be near him.” Very softly she laid 

m 


The Way of Escape 

her hand on his arm. We won’t say you didn’t wrong 
me, Giles,” she said. We will try to say nothing that 
is not true in the sight of God. You did wrong me. 
Make it good! I don’t pretend that even now I can 
look at it all as the world sees it ; but when I think I 
have turned a soldier of God into a successful man — 
I just can’t bear it ! ” 

She was startled when he raised his head. Ten 
minutes even of agony had never graved those lines. 
His face must often wear that look in the watches of 
the night. He did not speak. What indeed could he 
say, unless, like ^neas, he threw the blame on Jove 
himself ? The woman was having her turn. 

In a few minutes she rose to go. That is all, I 
think,” she said, except that, if circumstances should 
ever throw us together again, you need not be afraid 
of my losing my self-control, as I have done to-day. 
Good-bye.” 

^^Vera, be merciful. Think of all I must want to 
ask.” 

She turned her quiet eyes full on his face — surely 
the truest eyes that ever returned the searching look 
of man. I will tell you whatever you want to know,” 
she said; and she resumed her seat. 

And then they spoke of the things that concerned 
themselves alone. 

It seemed to Vera like a dream that she should be 
talking to him like this, without any reproach in her 
heart, only a great fellow-feeling ; but the greatest sur- 
prise of all was still to come. In the old days she had 
often pictured the meeting : the picture had varied from 
time to time with her growing ideal ; but of one thing, 
even in her crudest dreams, she had always been sure — 
298 


After Long Years 

that nothing would make her stoop to ask for an ex- 
planation. Yet now she heard herself saying quite 
simply as a matter of course — “ Tell me all about it, 
Giles. You must have suffered too.” 

And Giles, forgetting all that had happened since, 
feeling himself right down on the bed-rock of life, told 
her the old threadbare story of what he had come 
through. 

It seemed long before Vera spoke; but at length, 
half laughing, she tapped herself on the chest, in her 
quaint childish fashion of old. The conceit of the 
creature ! ” she cried, to sit in judgment upon you. 
Ah, Giles, forgive me ! How could I guess ? ” 

Dusk was gathering when she finally took her leave ; 
but she paused to remark on one or two of his pictures, 
anxious — characteristically anxious — that their parting 
should be in the C Major of this life. 

On the threshold she turned with a sudden thought. 

Ho one else will tell you,” she said, that your butler 
is not very courteous to poor women. You would not 
have it so, I am sure, if you knew.” 

Giles bowed over her hand with a strange new mean- 
ing in the familiar act. He was conscious of a sudden 
unaccountable longing to detain her. There were so 
many things he wanted to talk to her about. She had 
drunk deep of many springs. What was her experi- 
ence of this and that? What did she think — of life! 

But it takes a lifetime of companionship to answer 
that question. 

And Vera on her part was glad to go — and yet, if 
Fate had so willed, how glad she would have been to 
meet again on the morrow! 

Dr. Willoughby went with her to the door, and, re- 
20 399 


The Way of Escape 

turning to his consulting-room, leaned against the great 
marble chimneypiece, gazing into the glowing embers 
of the fire. 

The shadows grew deeper and deeper, and the night 
was very dark before he switched on the light. Then 
he gazed round in bewilderment. The room with its 
costly fittings, its books and instruments, all had a 
strange, unfamiliar look, as though he had not seen 
them for a long, long time. He laid his hand on the 
bell. I have decided to make a change, Dawson,’^ he 
said. You are at liberty to look out for another situa- 
tion.^^ 

Beg pardon, sir ? ” 

No ; I don’t care to discuss the matter. Refer to 
me for a character by all means. You have been a 
valuable servant in many ways. This day month.” 
With a little wave of his hand he dismissed the man, 
and, switching off the light again, dropped into the 
great arm-chair by the fire. 


300 


CHAPTER XLIII 


STRONG WHITE WINGS 

I don’t know how it strikes you/’ said the mathe- 
matical mistress, but personally I feel as if the at- 
mospheric pressure had been suddenly removed.” 

Judith laughed. ^^If I know my sister at all, you 
won’t feel that long.” 

She won’t bustle us, anyhow,” said Fraulein with 
a sigh of relief. I do so hate being bustled.” 

It is all a matter of taste,” said a fourth teacher. 

One always knew precisely where one was with Mrs. 
Bright. I am afraid — — She stopped short and 
looked at Judith^ who nodded philosophically. 

I shall be gone m a moment,” she said, and then 
you can state your fears more picturesquely.” 

Oh, I am mainly afraid that we are going to live 
in an atmosphere of Schwdrmerei. That little French 
mademoiselle is quite besotted already; and I must 
say there is a real lightheartedness about your sister 
that is very attractive. She was quite in her right when 
she spoke to us about bearing our burdens joyously.” 

Fraulein sighed. “ She made me wonder whether 
she in the least realized what she had undertaken. 
* All er Anfang ist heiter. Die Schwelle ist der Platz 
der Erwartung/ ” 

The mathematical mistress looked at Judith keenly. 

Is she going to fail us ? Has she raised the standard 
301 


The Way of Escape 

higher than she is prepared to hold it ? One knows that 
kind of person so well.” 

Judith clasped her hands round her knee, and looked 
up with the honest earnest expression that made her 
face very winning. I dont know/^ she said seriously, 
as if the subject had been occupying her own thoughts. 

It is years since I really lived with my sister, and I 
begin to think I was too young to appreciate her, or 
else she has changed. I think she always did wear a 
robe of sackcloth beneath "gay raiment, sparkling 
gauds ^ ; but of course she was never put to the test as 
she will be now.” 

""I thought not. Well, it would be a pity to see 
those strong white wings all limp and bedraggled. So 
few of the people one meets really have strong — white 
— wings ! ” 

Judith gathered up her papers and went to her sis- 
ter’s room. "" Can I help you, Vera ? ” she said. 

Vera was standing on the hearthrug, looking pale 
and worn. "" I don’t know,” she said. "" Sit down. I 
should like to speak to you first about it in any case.” 

She seated herself in a big chair, and seemed to 
forget for a few minutes that Judith was present. 
Then she roused herself with an effort. "" I have had 
a letter from Mrs. Bright to say she has lost £20 — left 
it in her bedroom when she went away.” 

There was a moment’s silence. "" But the room has 
been thoroughly cleaned.” 

"" Quite so. The maids brought me a threepenny-bit 
they found on the hearthrug.” 

"" That won’t go far, will it, towards supplying the 
deficiency ? Did Mrs. Bright wait all this time in order 
to facilitate the enquiry ? ” 


302 


Strong White Wings 

She wrote as soon as she got her large box, and 
discovered that the notes were missing.” 

Notes, were they?” 

" Four new Bank of England notes in a thick regis- 
tered envelope.” 

“ H^m. Not the sort of thing you can mistake for 
a crumpled curl paper. Have you looked in the 
drawers ? ” 

^^Yes; Mrs. Bright asked me to search the room 
myself, and I have done so. I have even examined the 
contents of the waste-paper basket — as it chanced, they 
had not been destroyed. I have spoken to the upper 
servants. It is very wrong, of course; but the school 
was more or less demoralised at the moment of Mrs. 
Bright’s leaving, and several of the pupils and teachers 
seem to have been in and out of the room while it was 
being cleaned.” 

It seemed a long time before Judith spoke again. 

Confound Mrs. Bright! ” she said at last. 

I don’t see that that will help us much.” 

Just as we had made such a good beginning ; and 
now this hateful business will throw everything else 
into the shade.” 

It seems to me that the more thoroughly we pre- 
pare for anything the less likely it is to come off in just 
the form we anticipated.” 

It is awfully hard on you, Vera.” 

Vera looked up, smiling. The little word of genuine 
sympathy was just what she needed. It is the thing 
that has come,” she said simply. "I wish there was 
more of me to face it. Heigho ! What is the use of 
all our virtues without the great grace of readiness f ” 

I don’t believe you will have to face it. You will 
303 


The Way of Escape 

get another letter to-morrow to say she has found the 
money.” 

I am afraid not. Mrs. Bright is very sure.” 

She often was sure latterly when she was quite 
mistaken. Wait a few days in any case.” 

Vera shook her head. “ I will wait till to-morrow 
to give myself the advantage of a night’s sleep. In the 
meantime let us go and search the room together. Four 
eyes are better than two.” 

From the moment the household was astir next 
morning something electric in the air seemed to warn 
both teachers and pupils that the placid life of the last 
week or two was about to be broken. When prayers 
were over, Vera asked everyone to remain, and then, 
with a very obvious effort, she spoke. 

In the simplest words she could find she told the 
story of what had happened, and then there was a brief 
silence. I need not tell you how deeply and earnestly 
I hope that Mrs. Bright is mistaken; but you will see 
that I am bound to act as if there were no chance of this. 
I am bound to investigate the matter even more thor- 
oughly than she would do if she were here, because in 
her absence I am responsible for the property she has 
left behind. Of course many ways occur to one in which 
the notes may have been mislaid: they may even now 
be found. We must give full weight to every possi- 
bility of this kind, but — the chance remains that one of 
us may have been tempted to take the money.” 

Her voice shook a little as she went on. I would 
give all the little I possess that this should not have 
happened. I am such a coward that, if I could see any 
excuse for burying it, slurring it over, making light 
304 


Strong White Wings 

of it, I would thankfully avail myself of that excuse; 
but you all see there is none. The thing has happened, 
and it has got to be faced.” 

She raised her eyes with a sudden look of appeal. 

Make it easy for me ! Don’t force me to suspect and 
cross-examine and run the thing to earth. Even if the 
worst has happened, it lies in the power of one of 
you to lift this wretched sordid episode into a purer 
air, to ennoble even this theft, if it be a theft, by making 
it the occasion of a brave amends, the beginning of a 
true and honest life. 

We live together here in a very ordinary way for 
the most part. We eat and drink together, and our re- 
lation with one another is in the main a workaday rela- 
tion. It is not easy for us — all together — to ^come 
apart ’ and think this over quietly. Yet that is what I 
want you to do. I want you to come apart and let us 
ask ourselves what are the things in life that really 
matter. It is nice to be thought well of by those we 
live with — to be admired, respected, loved; we like all 
that as we like the sunshine. But is it the main thing, 
the thing that really matters ? You know it is not. I 
am only speaking the thought in the minds of all of 
you when I say — The thing which really matters is 
that we should have clean hands and a pure heart.” 
Her voice seemed very low; but in the great silence it 
vibrated to the farthest corner of the room. Is there 
anyone here who is content with anything lower than 
this ? I do not believe it. Eemember you are not mak- 
ing your choice for this moment only. So long as this 
sin is on the conscience of one of us, that one never will 
be able to . . . ascend into the hill of the Lord. 
Sooner or later she must confess, and, believe me, the 
305 


The Way of Escape 

confession will never again be so easy as it is now. If 
there is anyone here who has taken this money — she 
may deceive us all^ she may see that we think her good 
and honest; but — what will it profit her? Will our 
respect be any comfort when she goes into the dark 
alone ? She has put herself in the wrong for ever unless 
and until she retraces the false step.” 

The speaker passed her handkerchief over her fore- 
head and went on with a wan little smile. It is not 
easy to fiesh and blood. I know that. But there is no 
other way. If anyone of you will confess that she took 
that money, she achieves an act of sheer courage that 
everyone here will respect and admire. 

^^Not that all will know. I do not think that is 
necessary. For the rest I must ask you to trust me. So 
much depends on circumstances that I cannot guess at. 
You may be very sure I will make things as easy as I 
can: and, if my friendship is any help, the woman or 
girl who speaks up bravely now may rely on that friend- 
ship for all that it is worth.” 

There was a long silence, and then she concluded in 
a matter-of-fact tone — There will be no lessons this 
afternoon. I will ask you each in turn to speak to me 
in my room. If the teachers will remain behind for a 
moment now, we will arrange how it can be most simply 
done.” 

Late that evening the teachers re-assembled limp 
and worn in their common sitting-room. 

I think,” said the music mistress quietly, your re- 
mark was that you felt as if the atmospheric pressure 
had been removed. No doubt you agree that the state- 
ment will stand a little revision. Three times now have 
306 


Strong White Wings 

I experienced a thief scare; but never before has the 
enquiry been carried through at such a pitch of inten- 
sity.” 

Amateurish,” said Fraulein, ^^but impressive too 
in its way.” 

You prefer the Scotland Yard method of treat- 
ment,” said the mathematical mistress. “ All I know 
is she made me wish I had taken the money — for the 
very privilege of owning up.” 

Mademoiselle laughed rather hysterically. It is 
ridiculous,” she said. No one has taken the money. 
A crushed envelope in an untidy room ! The strange 
thing would be if one had been able to find it long after 
it was lost.” 

Well, as everyone has disowned the soft impeach- 
ment, the enquiry will just have to drop, I suppose.” 

Judith was looking even more dogged than usual. 

You little know Mrs. Bright if you think she will 
allow that,” she said significantly. 

Mademoiselle looked up with startled eyes. But is 
Mrs. Bright so very severe ? ” 

She is just,” said Judith — “eminently just; but 
she doesnT much like leaving things at loose ends.” 

Mademoiselle cleared her throat. “ But she is away 
on the Continent now?” 

The mathematical mistress rose and looked out of 
the window. “ I shouldnT be surprised to see her home 
any day now that this has happened,” she said moodily. 
“ In the meantime I propose that we go to bed.” 

Vera slept little after the strain of the day, and, 
when she rose next morning, her whole outlook on life 
was obscured by the fog of her physical exhaustion. 

307 


The Way of Escape 

Why did I undertake this thing ? she asked her- 
self in uttermost dejection. I was so quiet and happy 
before; and now there is a burden on my shoulders 
that I can not bear.^’ 

It seemed impossible to face the little frictions, the 
necessary fault-findings, the endless demands of the 
day. She had striven so hard to be patient and tactful 
and sympathetic hitherto ; but now she had come to 
the end of her resources while the whole machine was 
dependent on her motive force. 

^^We shall come to grief to-day,^^ she said as she 
went downstairs. 

But even when youth is past, life is full of surprises. 
She had scarcely entered the breakfast-room before she 
realised that for the moment no sympathy, no tact, no 
resource on her part was needed. Every little wheel in 
the machine seemed, as it were, to be spinning of itself. 
Pupils and teachers alike looked up with a new light 
in their eyes. They had heard the very beating of her 
heart, and they loved her. 


308 


CHAPTER XLIV 


REACTION 

^^What, all in the dark?” 

Mrs. Willoughby switched on the light to make sure 
that her husband was there, and smiled kindly. ‘‘ You 
must have been asleep, Giles.” 

He did not deny the impeachment, which indeed 
seemed to be borne out by the intense physical resent- 
ment in his whole attitude and expression. 

When she had seated herself in his revolving chair, 
he rose without speaking, turned off the light again, and 
went back slowly to the fireside. 

"You won’t mind dining alone to-night, dear?” 

" Suppose I do ? ” The words were spoken quietly, 
gravely almost ; but they broke like a rifle-shot through 
the conventional acquiescence of their domestic inter- 
course. 

Mrs. Willoughby laughed, uncertain how to take the 
unaccustomed move. Her laugh ran into set lines about 
the mouth; but otherwise she had not changed so very 
much since the old days. Her fair face had become 
somewhat bleached and stiffened ; the smooth hair was 
almost aggressively smooth ; but that was all. Nothing 
in her appearance bore any legible witness to the dis- 
appointed hopes and lost ideals through which she had 
come to be what she was. 

" Suppose I do ? ” he repeated. 

309 


The Way of Escape 

She looked at him enquiringly. 

Stay at home this evening, Alice. I want to talk 
to you.” Dr. Willoughby did not often employ that 
tone of gentle masterfulness in speaking to his wife, 
useful as he found it when dealing with his women 
patients. 

For a moment he thought it was going to succeed; 
but it had come too late. 

She smiled with the air of one who chooses the 
higher duty, and drew out her watch. The carriage 
wonT be round for twenty minutes,” she said, ^^but I 
must go then. You see, dear, they are counting on me 
to speak at this meeting. We want to make a special 
effort.” 

Giles set his teeth. For the first time, he realized 
the growing revolt in his soul against these ^‘special 
efforts.” 

He did not seem in a hurry to avail himself of the 
twenty minutes, and she was the first to speak. I 
have had a heartrending interview with Dawson,” she 
said. You can’t possibly mean it.” 

I certainly do mean it.” 

^^What has he done?” 

He is paid to be civil, and he chose to be uncivil.” 

^^To ” 

Giles did not reply. 

" Not to you ! Why, dear, he is devoted to you — ^to 
both of us ; and so interested in the causes we have at 
heart ! ” 

Giles shifted his position with a sudden sense of 
nausea. Oh, he has learnt the patter right enough,” 
he said. 

Giles 


310 


Reaction 


Dr. Willoughby rose and leaned against the mantel- 
piece. It seemed incredible at the moment that a form 
which was dead for him might still contain life for 
another. In God’s name, Alice,” he said, let us lay 
aside convention for the first time in our married life. 
You like Dawson because he talks of the will of God 
and the salvation of souls. Does that make him a 
Christian? The sleek, pampered, overfed — cur! An 
expression has been running in my mind for the 
last hour about ” — he hesitated — the venture of 
faith 

I don’t think the expression is in the Bible,” she 
said with severe lips. 

Oh, confound the Bible ! ” 

Mrs. Willoughby rose to leave the room, hut her hus- 
band walked across and leaned his back against the 
door. Sit down!’^ he said in a tone of unutterable 
weariness. Can’t you see what I mean ? Are you 
never weary of these words, words, words, that can be 
forged by any lying idiot? ... Is it no venture to go 
out without gold or scrip, no venture to take no 
thought, no venture to sell all we have and give to the 
poor ? ” 

" Surely our Lord did not mean those words to be 
of universal application ? ” 

“ So we never apply them at all. Letter and spirit, 
we consign them to the limbo of oblivion.” 

You are very hard on poor Dawson.” 

Dawson?” He looked puzzled. ‘^I had forgot- 
ten that the creature existed. I was thinking of you 
and me. I suppose we are all three in the same 
boat?” 

I hope so.” 


311 


The Way of Escape 

He smiled cynically. is a magnificent vessel,” 
he said — “ a floating palace, with every luxury ready to 
one’s hand. We’ve booked our passage safe enough, 
and there are such a lot of us on board that it must be 
all right. We are eating and drinking and talking and 
making music, and we never even hear the rush of water 
at the keel.” 

What do you mean, Giles ? ” 

I was thinking — this isn’t the way the saints of 
old got to Heaven. It seems to me as if the Psalmist — 
for instance — had made his way there on a raft — all 
alone.” 

He lived before the light of the Gospel.” 

Then all I can say is — so much the better for 
him ! ” 

^^Do you realize that you are talking blasphemy?” 

" Very likely. Let me finish first what I have to 
say, and then we’ll sit in judgment on it. What does 
it cost you to address mothers’ meetings and pray in 
public? A little fatigue, perhaps; but worldly amuse- 
ments cost as much, and give less satisfaction. What 
does it cost me to go regularly to church and take the 
chair at missionary meetings ? It is a weariness to the 
flesh, no doubt. I would often rather be here; but it 
is the form of advertisement that has brought me most 
of my patients. You and Dawson and I are doing the 
thing that pays” He honestly did not realize at the 
moment the injustice of placing his wife in the same 
category with Dawson — or even with himself. 

Would you have us go forth as beggars? ” 

He laughed drearily. ^^We’d make an odd trio. 
Look here, Alice ; I hadn’t the least notion of shocking 
you when I began. I was honestly wondering when 
312 


Reaction 


you came in what good thing we could do that wouldn’t 
^ pay ’ in the cheapest sense of the word.” 

Yes?” 

He looked rather sheepish. ‘‘I can’t say ideas 
came in profusion. We live in such a highly-educated 
entourage that most of the things I could think of only 
promised to increase our popularity. But one thing 
did occur to me. I had an old college chum — Dalzell. 
He has gone to the dogs most awfully; his womenkind 
are in abject despair. They maintain that I am the one 
human being who has the smallest restraining influence 
on him.” 

‘‘ Then you have spoken to him, no doubt ? ” 

Oh, yes ; I’ve spoken — till I became too much taken 
up with other things to do even that.” 

Shall 1 go and see him ? I have got a little book 
just now that might be of real use. Why didn’t you 
tell me sooner?” 

Dr. Willoughby smiled. doubt if you would 
achieve a great deal. He doesn’t take much stock in 
^ little books.’ I can undertake that he will keep straight 
under my eye; but I can undertake no more than that. 
The only chance would be to have him living with us 
here.” 

‘^Here — in this house?” 

Yes.” 

^^But — is he respectable?” 

Giles laughed drearily again. Oh, dear, no ! ” he 
said. ^^We might coat him over with a thin veneer; 
but it would crack and peel on the smallest provocation, 
unless ” — the speaker’s face was inscrutable — he were 
really converted.” 

But you are forgetting the people we have about 
313 


The Way of Escape 

the house — your students, my young women. We are 
bound to consider them.^^ 

True. We are bound to consider them.” 

And it might be years before this man responded 
to our kindness and prayers sufficiently to stand on 
his own feet.” 

Most true. And only one soul saved in the end. 
Oh, I quite admit it is easier to mow down a sheaf of 
hysterical girls at a sweep.” 

Is he unconverted or is he a backslider ? ” 

A sudden flame leapt up from the Are, and Giles 
looked full in her eyes. God knows ! ” he said slowly. 

Mrs. Willoughby hesitated miserably. There are 
so many souls waiting to be saved,” she said. 

^^And you want to know what special claim this 
soul has? Well, I’ll tell you. Many years ago he ap- 
pealed to me for help — moral — spiritual — what you 
will ; he held my note of hand, so to speak. I was bound 
to save him. But, instead of that, I kicked the hand 
with which he was clinging to the rock, and he fell. 
The metaphor is mixed; but I fancy the meaning is 
clear. Now you know.” 

Oh, Giles ! ” 

There was no answer. 

Is he poor ? ” 

^^Yes.” 

Then don’t you think we might pay for his board 
in some Christian home where the money would be 
an object ? It would be a double charity, and you could 

visit him — we could both visit him 

There was a knock at the door, and Dawson entered 
with letters on a silver salver. He sniffed audibly as 
he handed them to his master. Then he turned to Mrs, 
314 


Reaction 


Willoughby. I beg your pardon, madam, but the 
carriage has been waiting some time,” he said obse- 
quiously. 

Dr. Willoughby looked up with the old affectionate 
manner. Don^t let me keep you one moment,” he 
said. Be careful not to catch cold on coming out.” 

Mrs. Willoughby left the room, followed by the 
servant. I would not take too seriously anything 
your master may have said in a moment of irritation, 
Dawson,” she said in a low voice ; and above all don’t 
talk of it. We can always rely on your discretion, I 
know. He is not at all himself to-night ; but I hope and 
pray that all may be well to-morrow.” 


21 


315 


CHAPTER XLV 


A CULPRIT 

For weeks the shadow hung over the school. Most 
of the teachers and pupils seemed to have forgotten all 
about the unpleasant little episode, but — even if Vera 
had been able to do so — Mrs. Bright’s letters were a 
constant reminder. She was convinced that the money 
could not have been lost, and she urged Vera to unravel 
the mystery for the sake of the school. At last, when 
hope was almost dead, the shadow seemed to clear 
away. A little scullery-maid confessed that she had 
taken the money. It was very sad, of course, but the 
girl was an obviously incomplete type of humanity, 
pretty — what there was of her — in a flimsy fashion, like 
a wild rose half-nipped in the bud. One might as well 
break one’s heart over the moral condition of a mag- 
pie,” said Judith; and, although Vera was far from 
echoing the statement, she could not shut her eyes to 
the element of truth it contained. 

It was a relief to descend to a homelier plane of feel- 
ing and decide what was to be done with the girl until 
Mrs. Bright’s views could be ascertained. Of course 
she could not remain at the school. As was her way 
in matters of the kind, Vera sent for her faithful 
henchman, Betsy, and to her she related the story at 
length. 

It was some time before Betsy committed herself to 
316 


A Culprit 

an opinion. I doobt ye’ve no got to the bottom o’ it 
yet,” she said at last. 

Vera pushed back her chair with sudden petulance. 

Really, Betsy,” she said, you are the most depress- 
ing person it has ever been my lot to meet. No suspicion 
had fallen on the girl. She is a poor little half-witted 
scullery-maid, whom one must not blame too severely. 
She confesses of her own accord that she took the 
money to send to a sweetheart in trouble. Think how 
dreadful it would have been if one of the teachers or 
pupils had been the thief ! My mind is relieved of a 
horrible anxiety, and now you come and tell me I’ve 
not got to the bottom of it yet.”^ 

Betsy surveyed her former mistress with calm criti- 
cism. I doobt ye’d no tak’ my words sae ill, if ye 
wasna thinkin’ the same yersel’.” 

I doobt ” from Betsy usually heralded a statement 
heavy yjith relentless certainty. 

An indignant word rose to Vera’s lips, but she sup- 
pressed it. Go on,” she said resignedly. 

^^I’ve aye said Jenny was no the one for a place 
like this. She’s no that ill, but she’s saft. I would- 
na wunner but she’d gi’en her sweetheart mair nor 
money.” 

Poor thing ! ” 

"Puir thing!” repeated Betsy scornfully. ^^Na, 
na. Let’s ca’ things by their names. Money or no 
money, I’m sair mista’en if he iver marries her noo.” 

Then he ought to be horsewhipped.” 

"Ah, weel!” Betsy would not commit herself to 
an opinion on that score. " It’s the way they’re made ; 
and it’s maistly the women that’s to blame.” 

Vera’s face flushed and she spoke very quibtly. " I 
317 


The Way of Escape 

quite agree that if it had been you, Betsy, it would 
have been you that was to blame/^ 

Me!^’ 

The flush on Vera’s face deepened. You or me, if 
you prefer it,” she said. 

Betsy tossed her head in impatience of the hypothe- 
sis, and, when she spoke again, her attack came from an 
unexpected quarter. 

" What w’y is your wee Mademoiselle sae muckle 
ta’en up wi’ a lassie like yon ? ” 

Mademoiselle ? I never saw her speak to the girl.” 

" I believe that.” Betsy leaned forward and spoke 
impressively. Mademoiselle and J enny was in oor 
wood thegither on Sawbath afternoon.” 

They must have met by chance.” 

^^Yae doobt. An’ by chance they talked for an 
hour or mair, and by chance — Mademoiselle was 
greetin’.” 

" Did you see them ? ” 

I’ve seen them that did.” 

Vera rose indignantly from her chair. " It’s not 
like you, Betsy, to listen to gossip like that.” 

When the guid God made me. He pit nae lids to 
my ears.” 

Apparently not. You think because that poor 
little woman is French that she is capable of anything. 
Do you know she is a heroine ? She worked herself half 
to death for a paralyzed brother, and you should see 
the testimonials Mrs. Bright got from her teachers 
before she came here.” 

I’ve nae faith in heroines ava.” 

The door opened. ^^If you please, ma’am — Lady 
Laurie.’* 


318 


A Culprit 

Vera was glad to bring the conversation to a close. 
Ask her if she will kindly come np here,” she said ; 
and bring tea, please. You will have some in the 
housekeeper’s room, won’t you, Betsy ? Goodbye. 
Don’t be narrow-minded. I know you will speak of 
this to no one but me.” 

I’ll no speak of it to you till ye speir at me again. 
But ye’ll no can leave the matter here. She’s no hero- 
ine, Jenny; but the puir bit fule has her rights. It’s 
her mither I’m thinkin’ o’. She’s a freen’ o’ my ain.” 

Lady Laurie came in, smiling, motherly. “How 
pleasant you are here ! I never dared to drop in on Mrs. 
Bright like this. And yet rumour says you are a 
saint.” 

“ A rumour to that effect may generally be taken as 
a certificate to the contrary.” 

“ May it ? I have no experience, always having been 
above suspicion.” 

“ If you had been in this room a minute sooner, you 
would have found me shamefully irritable and ill-tem- 
pered, and that with a person who was conscientiously 
performing a difficult duty.” 

“ Poor you ! I don’t wonder you got irritable and 
ill-tempered. Well, I am glad you retain a kindly tol- 
erance for other people’s weaknesses.” 

Vera smiled. “I am afraid I retain a still more 
kindly tolerance for my own,” 

“ Fiddle-de-dee ! By the way, what an imposing 
place the new school is! They say it is a shocking 
piece of jerry-building — Mrs. Bright always tries to 
get too much for her money — but it looks magnifi- 
cent. I hear you are going to have a wonderful house- 
warming.” 


319 


The Way of Escape 

Yes, indeed ; we are working away at a play and a 
French proverhe.’^ 

That will be quite in your line. Is that the 
Scotsman? Thank you. I have been hearing such 
a tragic story. Ah, here it is. ‘ Suicide on the line.’ 
It was a Mr. Dalzell. Dr. Willoughby was telling me 
about it. They were old college chums, and the doctor 
is dreadfully cut up. The news came in while I was in 
his consulting-room.” 

Who was Mr. Dalzell? ” 

Oh, he was nobody. But Dr. Willoughby thinks he 
might have done more for him. I told him it was 
absurd; but it shows how much real goodness there is 
in what his enemies call mere professional urbanity. 
I forget whether you know Dr. Willoughby? Aline 
does.” 

I have met him.” 

I never saw so much of the real man before. The 
cynicism does not go very deep.” 

Vera did not feel called upon to respond. 

But I did not come here to talk about suicides and 
Dr. Willoughby. I am here in the capacity of fault- 
finding grandmother. Look.” 

She produced a French exercise in which several 
errors had been left uncorrected. You know I hailed 
Mademoiselle’s appearance with rapture. She spoke 
beautifully, and she made the girls speak. Mais ga ” — 
she struck the page with a dainty lorgnette — cest un 
peu trop fort ! It i^n’t ignorance, of course ; she must 
be in love.” 

Vera’s face darkened as she looked at the exercise. 

I will speak to her.” 

Oh, don’t take it so seriously as all that. I have 
320 


A Culprit 

been in love myself. But she does need pulling up. She 
is the weak point in your machinery. The girls say 
she began well, but she is growing frightfully absent- 
minded — sets up a chorus of titters sometimes by cor- 
recting their English pronunciation. Well, really, you 
know, she had better leave that to others.’^ 

As soon as the visitor was gone, Vera sent for Made- 
moiselle. It was some minutes before her summons was 
obeyed, and the delay made her speak more sharply than 
she had intended. 

This exercise has been returned to me,” she said, 
^^by a purchaser who happens to be a judge of the 
article she is paying for. Most of them take us on 
trust.” She stopped short, observing for the first time 
the girFs excessive paleness. 

“ Bring me all the exercises you have,” she said 
more gently. We will go over some of them to- 
gether.” 

“Now?” 

“ Now — certainly.” 

“ My head aches so to-day.” 

“I am sorry for that, but you and I have often 
worked through a headache before now; and I must 
ask you to waste no time.” 

Mademoiselle returned, looking sick with apprehen- 
sion, and Vera’s heart smote her. How often she had 
felt as this girl looked! After all, the head-mistress 
was one thing, the erring suffering woman was another. 
There was a new kindness in her voice when she spoke 
again. 

“I expect all the teachers to work well,” she said, 
“ but I am doubly responsible for you. You are my own 
321 


The Way of Escape 

discovery. I am sure there is nothing yon wish to hide. 
If things are not as they should be, we will recognize the 
fact and begin again.” 

A short time before, the words would have drawn 
forth something as near a caress as the French girl 
dared venture upon. To-day she merely shrugged her 
shoulders and looked miserable. 

Vera became the head-mistress again, and the ex- 
amination began. 

It revealed nothing very flagrant. There were only 
one or two oversights as serious as those Lady Laurie 
had pointed out; but the frown on Vera’s brow grew 
deeper. Do you talk over these corrections with your 
pupils ? ” 

Sometimes.” 

"What does ^sometimes’ mean? How often? 
Once in two cases — or five — or ten ? ” 

" I don’t know.” 

" Because, taking the corrections as they stand, I 
call this lukewarm teaching. There is no expectancy 
of progress in it. No recognition of a step gained. 
You began well : what hindered you? Look at the con- 
struction of this sentence, and you haven’t even marked 
it ^ good ’ ! ” 

" She got that from the book we are reading.” 

" Precisely ; and applied it correctly. Isn’t that 
what you want them to do ? ” 

" I suppose so.” 

Vera pushed back her chair. "What has come to 
you. Mademoiselle? You are not the plucky girl I 
spoke to in Paris.” 

"I told you my head aches,” said the girl resent- 
fully. 


322 


A Culprit 

Vera put the books together. Go and lie down/^ 
she said quietly, and when your head is well, come 
and talk the matter over again. In the meantime I 
must ask you to bring the exercise-books to me for the 
future before returning them to your pupils.” 

Mademoiselle pressed her handkerchief to her eyes. 

My head always aches here,” she said, and I can’t 
sleep. If you don’t trust me, I had better go back 
to France.” 

Have I not trusted you ? And surely, if my trust 
is to last, it is you who must keep it growing, not I.” 

It is no use. I can’t please you.” 

Sit down,” said Vera. I want to tell you some- 
thing. When I first met you in Paris, I had a senti- 
mental idea that life was not treating me in accordance 
with my deserts. I was feeling my burden intolerable ; 
but when I saw how gallantly you were shouldering 
yours, I felt ashamed of my own weakness. What has 
come to you since then ? Be frank with me : forget for 
a moment that I have a right to call you to account, and 
speak to me as your friend. Have I been too harsh ? — 
Have I failed to give you a fair chance, or said any- 
thing more severe than I was entitled to say ? ” 

Mademoiselle did not lift her eyes. Her brow was 
moist, and her breathing laboured. I hate your Eng- 
land,” she said. 

^^Ho,” said Vera with quiet conviction. ^^You 
don’t hate our England. You don’t even hate me, 
though I have found fault with you so frankly. What 
you hate is something that has happened — something 
you have done — since you came here.” She was led on 
from phrase to phrase by the growing consciousness in 
the girl’s face. Was it possible that after all there was 
323 


The Way of Escape 

something in what Betsy had said ? Mademoiselle/’ 
she said with sudden resolution, drawing her bow at a 
venture, I want to know what is at the bottom of your 
relation with Jenny Smith.” 

Here was no adventuress — no hardened criminal. 
Mademoiselle’s dainty little figure seemed to shrink 
and cower, a red fiush burned in patches on her face: 
she tried to speak, but a dry click was the only sound 
that came. 

There was a moment of agonizing silence, and then 
Vera took a step forward and laid a hand on her shoul- 
der. You poor, poor child! she said. 

And then came a torrent of tears. Oh,” cried the 
girl, “ I am not a thief, indeed, indeed, I am not. How 
could I confess? I never before took a sou that was 
not my own. But who in England knows that? They 
would all have judged me by that one act. ^ Thief,’ 
they would have said; and I am not a thief. Oh, do 
you know what it is all in a moment to do something 
that was not in you before ? ” 

Vera stood looking at her, an infinite pity in her 
eyes. It would have been very easy to evade the ques- 
tion, or to leave it unanswered altogether. She did 
neither. Yes,” she said quietly. I do know.” 

Then you will have pity. You won’t be hard. 
What is it to this girl? What would she ever have 
made of her life ? She is none the worse.” 

Vera turned away with a little gesture of pain. 

Tell me all about it,” she said. Don’t keep any- 
thing back this time.” 

The story was so simple that it might almost have 
been guessed beforehand; and this was well, for Made- 
moiselle’s recital was broken and incoherent. She had 
324 


A Culprit 

incurred serious debts during her brother’s last days, 
and her first quarter’s salary — advanced by Mrs. Bright 
at Vera’s request — had been spent on the essentials of 
an outfit. She had meant to pay every penny in the 
end; but it had seemed the simplest plan just to slip 
away from Paris without too many explanations and 
promises. Was she not going almost into another 
WQirld ? But unfortunately the landlady had discovered 
her address, and since then she had been subjected to an 
intolerable persecution. 

Why didn’t you tell me ? ” 

“ I wanted to ; but, just when I had brought my 
courage to the point, you seemed so severe and far-off. 
I did not know what they could do to me here, and I 
was beside myself with anxiety. It is so terrible not 
to know” 

Poor child! Well?” 

The day after Mrs. Bright went away I passed 
her door, and I thought I would just look in. It 
seemed such a nice room; I wondered whether it was 
to stand empty all the time she was gone. I slipped 
open one of the drawers just to see if she had emptied 
them ” 

Vera made an involuntary movement, and the story 
became quite incoherent in consequence. There, in 
the drawer, had lain poor Mademoiselle’s fate. She 
knew the meaning of that envelope, for she had received 
one just like it in Paris a short time before. The 

money, of course, had been taken out ? No; there 

it was — four crisp new notes, the blessed symbol of food 
and clothing and medicine — and sleep and peace of 
mind. 

You see, if I had had a minute to reflect, I never 
325 


The Way of Escape 

could have done it; but I had not time to think there 
was such a thing as stealing. I had been thinking 
money, planning money, dreaming money, and — there 
was money.” 

For a few minutes the silence was broken only by 
the girFs sobs. It seemed as though she never could 
find courage and self-control to proceed; but at last 
she pulled herself together. I was thrusting the notes 
into my pocket, when I raised my eyes to the glass — and 
saw J enny behind me ! ” 

“ Well? ” Vera’s voice was full of pity now. 

“ It was all over in a moment. I held out one of 
the notes, and she took it. So, you see, it is not as if 
she was innocent.” 

Oh, Mademoiselle/’ cried Vera. Surely, surely, 
you see that was just the worst thing of all? Who 
knows what motives may have rushed through the poor 
little immature mind? — loyalty to you — shame of pro- 
fessing a higher moral standard than a woman she ad- 
mired ” 

She wanted money too.” 

And ever since she has . been entreating you to 
confess ? ” 

It was easy for her — a servant girl. What had 
she to lose? And you had promised to befriend 
her.” 

At that moment the school gong went for supper. 
The sound brought with it a sickening realization of 
the world outside. 

^^Oh!” Mademoiselle dropped on her knees. Be- 
friend me. Give me a chance! I am so lonely. Ee- 
member it was you who sought me out, not I you.” 

Vera raised the poor limp figure from the floor. 

326 


A Culprit 

That is true,” she said, and I am not likely to for- 
get it. Go to your room, and I will send you a cup of 
tea. If you feel well enough, come back at nine o’clock. 
I will do nothing without letting you know before- 
hand.” 


337 


CHAPTER XLVI 


WRESTLING 

Left alone, Vera rang the bell and gave a few or- 
ders. Then she locked the door and walked over to the 
window. Her face was worn as if with nights of 
watching. 

She felt through all her being the strength of the 
temptation to which the French girl had succumbed. 
She was appalled to think that she even realized the 
force of Mademoiselle’s argument. What was it to 
Jenny? — a poor little slavey with a half-developed 
mind. How easy to make it good to her ! But, right 
down the ages, the words rang out — categorical, un- 
qualified — Take heed that ye offend not one of these 
little ones!^’ 

She had often unconsciously prided herself on her 
charity, her sympathy, her mercy. All the history of 
her life disposed her to virtues such as these. And 
now God had put the sceptre in her hand, and required 
her to judge righteously. 

She fell on her knees. God,” she moaned, I am 
a sinner. Who am I to sit in judgment on others ? ” 

A quotation from Browning haunted her, and she 
took the hook from its shelf. 

“ Have I to dare ? — I ask, how dared this Pope ? 

To suffer ? — Such an one, how suffered he ? 

Being about to judge, as now, 1 seek 

How judged once, well or ill, some other Pope ; 

328 


Wrestling 

Study some signal judgment that subsists 
To blaze on, or else blot, the page which seals 
The sum up of what gain or loss to God 
Came of His one more vicar in the world. 

So, do I find example, rule of life ; 

So, square and set in order the next page. 

Shall be stretched smooth o’er my own funeral cyst.” 

And so on to the fine lines — 

“ God, who set me to judge thee, meted out 
So much of judging faculty, no more : 

Ask Him if I was slack in use thereof ! ” 

Happy Pope ! ” she said. “ He was not weakened 
by his own past.” 

And then, not with all the intoxicating gladness of 
that night in Paris, but with quiet, steady assurance, 
came back the conviction that the man who has com- 
mitted his present and future into the hands of God 
may well leave his past there too. She had not chosen 
Him : it was He who had chosen her ; and, if He elected 
to work with a faulty instrument, that was His con- 
cern, not hers. 

When the French girl returned, Vera was looking 
calm and resolute. Sit down,” she said kindly. “ I 
suppose we have both been thinking this matter over. 
We must put our conclusions together now, and see 
what we can make of them. What do you propose ? ” 

Mademoiselle leaned forward, a hungry light in her 
eyes. ^^You will be merciful,” she said; I know you 
will. The first time I saw you, I thought how strong 
and kind you looked. You know how poor I was, you 
say I was brave, and — the struggle was so long and so 
hard ! Is it any wonder I was weary — off my guard ? 

329 


The Way of Escape 

You do believe that I am not a bad woman — not a 
thief ! Give me a chance ! This is the first real chance 
I ever had in my life. I will refund the whole twenty 
pounds little by little. I will pay Jenny anything you 
like. Only trust me again, and keep my secret. Don’t 
tell Mrs. Bright ! I cannot face that; but if you will 
have mercy ” — Mademoiselle had not listened to Vera’s 
appeals for nothing — ^^you help me to believe that 
God is good ; you make this the beginning of a new life 
for me.” 

Her speech came in a torrent, and then there was a 
long silence. Vera was dimly aware of the insincerity 
of the last words. 

You were brave,” she said quietly, and, if you 
had been ^ bad,’ you would not have been so miserable. 
I think circumstances tried you sorely. But we must 
face things as they are, and not as they might have 
been. If the money had been mine, the question might 
stand on a different footing; but Mrs. Bright is the 
injured person, and we have no right to ignore the 
fact that she has a legal claim against you. Do you 
understand all that means? You would not have her 
think that her claim was against Jenny only?” She 
paused, full of compunction. Are you able to refund 
the money now ? ” 

You know I am not — at this moment I am penni- 
less — but if you would let me work quietly on 

think you forget that I am in a position of 

trust.” 

Mademoiselle shrugged her shoulders impatiently. 

You talk as if I were a common thief — and you have 
admitted that I am not that. Who would be the worse ? 

And — if your motive was one of mercy ” 

330 


Wrestling 

My dear girl, I have no right to dispose of mercy 
that is not mine. There is only so much in the power 
of each of us. But try not to think of my mercy or 
want of mercy. Think of your own courage and jus- 
tice. If you do the brave thing now — I don’t think 
you will need my poor help to convince you that God 
is good. . . . And then there is Jenny. It is quite 
true that you can make things up to her in a material 
way. But what of her character — her moral sense — 
her faith?” 

Her faith ! ” Mademoiselle’s lip curled. 

She had faith enough to urge you to confess, 
and, failing, to take the whole burden on her own 
shoulders.” 

You worked on her feelings. You came back on 
the subject in one way or another every Sunday even- 
ing at prayers — just when one is feeling so low. You 
would have made me confess too, if I had been a cow- 
ard.” With a sudden impulse of impatience the French 
girl rose to her feet. Mon DieUy Mademoiselle, why 
do you always talk as if we were in church? Look at 
life as it is, and you will see that all such arguments are 
mere pedantry ! ” 

^^Are they?” Vera’s voice was very low. Then 
take it from your own point of view. You have suffered 
horribly since you took that money.” 

That I have ! ” 

^^Is anything worth such suffering? You know it 
is not. And you can’t really get rid of it without paying 
the price. My dear girl, I think you see that you must 
tell Mrs. Bright. She will not be hard; she may even 
give you another trial ” 

‘‘And she might write to my convent, or give me 
23 331 


The Way of Escape 

away before the whole school. She might even send me 
to prison. Can you answer for it that she won’t ? ” 

If you put it like that/’ said Vera, “ of course I 
can answer for nothing, except that she will wish to be 
just — and kind.” 

But the girl had sprung to her feet, her cheeks blaz- 
ing with passion. Oh,” she cried, how would you 
like to be treated as you are treating me ? It is all such 
fine talk : I too in your place could say the same, but I 
would not stoop to be so cruel. You also, you Protes- 
tants, pray, ^ Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive 
them that trespass against us.’ ” 

Vera’s eyes were full of tears. " That is true,” she 
said. Do you think this is costing me nothing ? But 
— even if I were out of the question — what of Jenny? 
Can you hope that she would continue to bear the whole 
blame?” 

She likes me, and I would make it worth her while 
— and, besides, who would believe the word of a girl 
like that ? ” 

“Mademoiselle!” cried Vera, ‘^one half of you is 
generous and brave. Be true to that half ! ” 

But the girl was scarcely listening. 

You promised poor Madame you would befriend 
me,” she cried, “ and this is how you keep your word ! 
Oh, I would to God I had never seen you ! ” 

Vera took her hand. It is hard, I know,” she said 
— terribly hard, ... a long, long step. But if you 
could only find courage to take it, it would give you such 
a splendid fresh start.” 

Mademoiselle smiled bitterly. “ That is the kind of 
fresh start that it is so easy to recommend to another. 
How would you like to make that kind of fresh start 
332 


Wrestling 

yourself ? ” Her eyes narrowed with an expression 
Vera had never seen in them before, and in her excite- 
ment she literally gasped for breath. Suppose you 
begin with the events of a winter at St. Vincent long, 
long ago ! ” 

Vera did not move, nor did her expression change. 
The words seemed to petrify her where she stood. But 
the familiar room slipped away from her eyes, and she 
felt herself alone on a tiny rock in the midst of eternity. 
She could not have told whether it was a second or an 
hour before she said quietly, What do you mean ? ” 

The girl looked frightened, but she held her ground. 

I think you know what I mean.” 

Vera walked over to the window and looked out. 
“ You are too excited to talk more now,” she said. 

Go to bed. I will see you again to-morrow.” 

When the girl was gone, she wiped the cold sweat 
from her brow, and swallowed a mouthful of water. 

So it had come. She had been looking out for it, 
dreading it, flying from it for so long, and here it was. 
Strange that she did not feel it more. It had come. 
That was all she knew. The bell for prayers would 
ring presently. Well, she must conduct prayers as 
usual. She must go on just as before until she had 
made up her mind what to do. 

She was surprised that it was not more difficult to 
go on. One or two of the teachers looked at her odd- 
ly, she fancied ; but that did not alarm her. What could 
her face reveal but the blankness of the mind behind it ? 

" I must sleep before I try to think,” she said ; and, 
undressing as quickly as she could, she threw herself on 
the bed. 


333 


The Way of Escape 

Sleep came at once, and stayed with her for an hour 
or two. Then she awoke with every faculty in full 
activity. 

It had come. 

Hastily she lighted a candle lest the darkness should 
swallow her up. It was useless to hope or pray for 
more sleep that night. 

It had come. 

She thought of the position she held, of Mrs. 
Bright’s trust in her, of the appreciation the parents 
had shown for her work, of the love and respect of most 
of the teachers and pupils, of how she had spoken to 
them in faltering words about ascending into the hill 
of the Lord. How would all that appear to them now ? 
She thought of Eric with his chivalrous worship of her ; 
of Harold’s shy I have faith in you anyhow, Donna 
Vera”; of her earnest words of warning to Aline; of 
Judith — in all the happiness of first love. 

This was the world into which it had come. The 
new element must be fitted into every relation of 
life. 

Vera sprang out of bed in agony. Surely it could 
not be possible. She had dreamed it so often. Yes; 
but this time it was real. 

What was real? Let her think it over calmly. 
What had happened? She had been acting as if that 
old story was blazoned all over the world. What had 
actually been said? — and who had said it? — and how 
much had she herself tacitly admitted ? 

‘‘ Suppose you begin with the events of a winter at 
St. Vincent long, long agoV’ 

The sweat started to her brow again — each drop 
like a spark of fire — as she recalled the words. Yes ; 

334 


Wrestling 

but who had said them? Only a little French — thief. 
None of the teachers liked Mademoiselle: the girls, it 
appeared, tittered during her class; Lady Laurie had 
justly found fault with her work. Even supposing she 
knew all, who would take her word against that of Vera 
Carruthers? No one. 

And what had she — Vera — admitted? Nothing, 
absolutely nothing. She could not have acted so well 
if she had foreseen what was to come. 

With a gasp of relief she saw the real state of affairs. 
What a fool she had been to get so frightened! And 
besides, poor little Mademoiselle was at her mercy. It 
could do her no good to wreck Vera^s life. All she 
wanted was peace, and a little money, and — perhaps — 
permission to go. She — Vera — had been in despair — 
and yet a mere bankers draft would mean deliver- 
ance. 

She laughed a shuddering little laugh of inexpress- 
ible relief. Thank God ! ” she cried. 

But was it for this she had striven and prayed? — 
for this she had asked herself each morning, How 
can I, in the duties and opportunities of this day, fulfil 
the will of God?” Was it for this she had chosen the 
Kingdom of God and His righteousness? 

‘‘Thanh Ood!’^ she said defiantly again. 

No: the words were out of place. They would not 
do. God was not here. If she took this way of escape, 
she left Him behind. She had seen so clearly the sin 
of sacrificing poor Jenny’s moral sense to Mademoi- 
selle’s safety ; and now the problem was simply repeated 
on a slightly larger scale. 

The conclusion was too awful. Hour after hour 
she struggled to evade it. Again and again it seemed 
335 


The Way of Escape 

that she had found a working compromise; but it 
would not do. ♦ 

Mademoiselle’s word here was worthless. If the 
charge were made, it would scarcely need even a formal 
denial. But behind Mademoiselle’s trumpery accusa- 
tion was the truth; and the eternal voice went on in- 
exorably, Walk before Me, and be thou sincere.” 
Could she deny the charge? ‘^Yes, yes, yes — a thou- 
sand times yes ! ” cried Vera. But the voice in her 
heart said, No. 

If the temptation had come on one of the days when 
the Eternal City stands clear, all might have been so 
easy; but a mist hung over the river to-day, and she 
could not see beyond. 

She recalled her words to Mademoiselle — It is 
hard, I know — terribly hard — a long, long step. But, 
if you could only find courage to take it, it would give 
you such a splendid fresh start.” Vera dropped her 
head on her outstretched arms, and laughed in utter 
mockery of her own inadequate words. 

No; there were no legions of angels to-day. For 
all she could tell, she might have been fighting the battle 
alone. 

She dozed a little towards morning, and, when she 
awoke, her interview with Giles Willoughby was full in 
her mind. Be a good man, Giles ! When I think I 
have turned a soldier of God into a mere successful man 
— I just canH hear it” How had she dared to use such 
words ? — she, who had failed so miserably when circum- 
stances put her to the test. 

Had she failed? No, not yet. The way was open 
still. 

Ever since that night in Paris she had walked, as 
336 


Wrestling 

it were, on a plank, with the solid earth beneath. But 
now the earth had rolled away, and the plank spanned 
the abyss. 

The question was whether the heavenly vision was 
worth just this. 


337 


CHAPTEK XLVII 


THE WAY OF ESCAPE 

Mademoiselle asked me to tell you that she does 
not feel well enough to come down this morning/’ 
Judith wondered as she spoke whether Mademoiselle 
felt as ill as Vera looked. 

I am sorry. Tell her I will come and speak to 
her by-and-by.” 

It was natural that the two women should meet 
coldly, were it only in sheer reaction from the emotion- 
alism of the day before. Each took in silence the 
measure of the other. Their hour had come. 

Well,” said Vera, we did a great deal of talking 
yesterday. To-day we must fasten off all the loose 
ends.” 

Yes.” 

Have you made up your mind ? ” 

Have I made up my mind ? ” The girl’s amaze- 
ment was curiously naive. Evidently Miss Carruthers 
meant to carry the affair with a high hand. No matter : 
Mademoiselle’s turn would come. I have been won- 
dering,” she said with a sinister tightening of the lips, 
whether you had made up your mind.” 

I am sorry you wasted time over that. I meant 
to make my meaning clear yesterday. It is for Mrs. 
Bright to settle this question, not for me. It would be 
infinitely better if you would make a clean breast of 
338 


The Way of Escape 

it yourself, and leave yourself in her hands. If you 
don% you force me to tell her what I know.’^ 

Mademoiselle raised herself on her elbow. Do you 
know what you are doing ? she said. 

If you mean. Do I see it in all its bearings ? — I sup- 
pose not. Do we ever ? 

Do you know what you are rishing ? ” 

Vera looked straight into the girl’s eyes. Made- 
moiselle,” she said, if you have anything to say, I will 
listen; but it seems to me unfitting that you should 
put questions to me.” She hesitated, and then added 
firmly, You seem to be meditating some action on 
your own account. Very good; but, if you act, you act 
in the dark and on the chance.” 

Do you know who I am ? ” 

That is another question, is it not ? ” 

think you knew my mother at least.” Made- 
moiselle drew a photograph from under her pillow. It 
was scratched and faded, but had once been an effective 
representation of the golden-haired lady. 

Vera felt the blood rush to her face as she thought 
of the memories it called forth. Poor, generous, faith- 
less old Madame ! Clearly she was one of those who 
never know whether they are keeping a confidence or 
not. Vera could not conceal the blush. That much she 
owed to her humanity; but her voice was very quiet as 
she replied, No photograph that you can show me has 
anything to do with this case.” 

Ah, you think you can defy me ! You have a name, 
a standing ; and who am I ? ” 

I try not to think of you at all.” Her voice soft- 
ened. ‘‘1 think you can see that I am simply trying 
to do my duty.” 


339 


The Way of Escape 

The Frenchwoman looked sullen and half baffled. . 

So now,” Vera said, we return to my first ques- 
tion — ^ Have you made up your mind ? ’ ” 

There was a long silence. 

‘^Will you give me three days to think it over?” 

Vera was glad of the breathing-space herself. There 
was so much to be considered. If only the Raeburns had 
been at home that she might talk the matter over with 
them ! But, as it chanced, they were spending a short 
holiday in Italy. She had a crushing conviction that 
Mademoiselle knew the whole story ; but after all what 
did it matter how much she knew ? The vaguest accu- 
sation would be enough, if she — Vera — were not pre- 
pared to deny it. And she would not lie. Her mind 
was made up. To lie now would be to turn her back 
on all the light she had received. Any day, any hour, 
Harold might come to her and say, Good Heavens, 
Vera ! why donT you contradict this woman’s vile slan- 
der ? ” And she would be forced to reply, “ I don’t con- 
tradict it because it is no slander: it is true.” The 
thought was intolerable. No : she would not have her 
brothers and sisters hear the truth from this woman.. 
She would tell them herself, and then, in a sense, she 
would be free. The rest of the world seemed very far 
away in comparison. 

Mademoiselle repeated her question. ^^Will you 
give me three days to think it over?” 

"^Yes,” Vera said. "'On condition that you get 
up, and go on quietly with your work — I will.” 

As she was leaving the room. Mademoiselle sprang 
from the bed and caught her by the hand. " Miss Car- 
ruthers,” she cried, " you can’t mean it ! Think of the 
school — think of your position, your reputation !— and 
340 


The Way of Escape 

of me with my way to make ! And on the other hand, 
only that poor little Jenny 

Vera’s face was sad enough to satisfy even her op- 
ponent. J enny has a human soul, like you and me ; 
and, if she hadn’t, truth is truth.” 

‘^It is a painful thing sometimes.” 

Vera met the eager eyes again. So be it ! ” she 
said simply. 

“ That is your last word ? ” 

That is my last word.” 

Well, it was done. She had burned her boats. There 
was no going back. But, as she realized the fact, a sense 
of infinite consolation came over her weary heart. She 
had failed : her sin had found her out : she was beaten. 
It was only fair. But, whatever happened, God would 
not be beaten. 

And then came the gracious tears, and the uttermost 
surrender of assent. 


341 


CHAPTER XLVIII 


IN’ A PLACE OP DARKNESS 

But, good God ! ” cried Harold, leaping to his feet, 
you must stop the woman’s mouth — that’s all. Bribe 
her : ship her out of the country. Why the devil didn’t 
you tell me this before? ” 

He looked round for the bell; but Vera stretched 
out her hand to prevent him. Her face was haggard 
and drawn. Mademoiselle is safe in bed,” she said. 

We have time to talk it over quietly. But, Harold, 
my mind is made up.” 

I never heard such blasted rot in my life. It’s true 
I told you five minutes ago that life would never be the 
same to me again; but I suppose in a week I should 
have been shrugging my shoulders and saying, ‘ Only 
one illusion more ! ’ This is another matter. Good 
Heavens, you must be mad.” 

She sighed. I have told you the story step by step 
just that you might know how I have been led up to 
this decision. You asked me once whether I believed in 
God. I am telling you now. It means a good deal to 
believe in God.” 

‘^And apparently a good deal that’s dashed un- 
pleasant.” 

That’s true.” 

It is bad enough in all conscience, but surely you 
have the decency to see that it is your own affair.” 

342 


In a Place of Darkness 


I do. You forget that it is Mademoiselle who fails 
to see that.” 

He made a gesture of impatience. “ How on earth 
you could bring anyone here who knew anything about 
St. Vincent is more than I can divine.” 

Oh, I have raved over that too in the night watches. 
I was grateful to old Madame for her kindness, and for 
— keeping my secret ! And I wanted to help the girl. 
But nothing could have made any real difference. The 
situation has been gravitating towards me all along.” 

Humbug ! One would think you and Gretchen and 
Mary Magdalene stood alone. How many of the at- 
tractive women one meets in the midst of society are a 
whit better than you ? If I were to tell you things that 
I know for a fact ” 

It would make no difference. But, Harold, don’t 
you see ? It is not that I am thinking of at all. It is 
truth.” Her face burned. “ I have never for twenty- 
four hours together felt it my duty to make public con- 
fession of that old story; but 1 am not going to lie 
about it if I am asked.” 

Better people than you have lied before now. 
There are other virtues besides truth. What about 
Mrs. Bright and the school ? ” 

Vera bowed her head in uttermost dejection. Even 
those who judged her least harshly would ask why she 
had placed herself in such a position. If they knew 
how she had tried to keep herself out of every position 
— but life had to be lived ! 

Does it not occur to you that you are abominably 
selfish? God will comfort you, no doubt; but what is 
to become of the rest of us ? ” 

She raised her arms with a sudden gesture of de- 
343 


The Way of Escape 

spair, and her voice was shaken by a dry sob. Oh, Har- 
old, if I stood alone, do you think I should be suffering 
like this?” 

He had made a real impression at last, and he pur- 
sued his advantage. 

There’s Judith to begin with. Engaged to be 
married, and awfully happy. Well, that’s off ! ” 

You have a high opinion of the faithfulness of 
your sex.” 

He turned on her cruelly. I shouldn’t think yours 
was any higher. Have you told J udith ? ” 

Yes.” 

And what does she say ? ” 

Vera’s lips quivered. She feels it very keenly.” 

Then there’s Aline. I never approved of her going 
on the stage. That was your doing. You know the 
kind of temptation she’ll meet in the best of companies. 
And she’s a regular witch. She was repeating to me 
with tears in her eyes the other day some of your — pre- 
cepts. Then there’s Eric ” 

She interrupted him. I have seen Eric.” 

You have ? And what does he say ? ” 

Her lip curled in spite of herself. Oh, he was one 
of God’s angels ! ” 

Humph ! It’s a mercy one member of the family 
is a little more earthly. It takes a man of the world 
to manage these things.” 

She did not answer. 

Then — last and least — there’s myself. I’ve had a 
tremendous stroke of luck lately. I meant to tell you 
about it, but this business has put it all out of my head. 
Willoughby has taken me up.” 

Willoughby?” 


344 


In a Place of Darkness 


“ It’s extraordinary, isn’t it, for I’m not one of the 
dons, and I can’t say I shone in his class. I’ve dined 
there once or twice, and I’ve taken the instruments at 
one or two of his private operations. He says a man 
ought to choose his own specialty; but, when I have 
chosen mine, he will do all he can to help me. They 
say when Willoughby takes a man up, his fortune’s 
made. You know he is the rage in Edinburgh just now, 
and upon my soul I don’t wonder. He is coming out 
awfully strong. Sometimes I almost think he is sin- 
cere.” 

Vera’s face shone like the sun through storm and 
rain. Ho you ? Tell me why.” 

Oh, one cannot explain these things. And what 
does it matter? Willoughby is Mrs. Bright’s brother, 
and I’ve told you the sort of person Mrs. Willoughby is. 
If you persist in this insane resolution of yours, you’ll 
spoil it all.” 

There was a strange repose in Vera’s wan little 
smile. Oh, no, Harold, I sha’n’t spoil that.” 

Much you know about it ! I tell you what, Vera, 
if you won’t listen to reason, you shall yield to force. 
I am the head of the family, and I won’t have this 
damned folly.” 

She raised her head calmly. Force ” made a dif- 
ferent woman of her in a moment. How will you 
prevent it ? ” 

I’ll interview this Mademoiselle.” 

" Can you promise that I won’t tell the truth about 
this theft? That is what she is afraid of, and she 
knows me pretty well by this time.” 

I’ll get her out of the country.” 

And every time she is in difficulties for the rest of 
345 


The Way of Escape 

her life, she will come back upon you. At present I 
don^t even know that she can do me any real harm. I 
have no idea how much she knows,^^ 

^^You couldn’t even find out that?” 

I couldn’t even find out that.” 

He rose to his feet. I want writing-paper,” he 
said icily, and pen and ink.” 

She made a movement of her head in the direction 
of the writing-table. 

He strode across the room, and for some time she 
listened to his quill as it drove over the sheets. At 
intervals he tore the paper in shreds and began again. 

It seemed a long time before he rose. I mean to 
sleep at the King’s Arms,” he said ; and I have asked 
Mademoiselle to meet me there to-morrow at nine. 
People will think it is professional. She must get the 
note to-night. Will you say so?” 

No.” 

He rang the bell. 

Will you give this note to Mademoiselle at once ? ” 
he said with his most professional manner. 

^^Yes, sir,” and the discreet parlour-maid with- 
drew. 

Good-night, Vera.” 

“ Good-night.” 

He walked to the threshold, hesitated, and turned 
back. “It’s a pity you weren’t a man, old girl,” he 
said, and, stooping, he kissed her on the forehead. 

Vera had been sitting on a low stool by the fire. 
She slipped on to the floor now, and lay there with 
clenched hands in an agony of despair. Nothing mat- 
tered any more. She had gone through the worst, and 
her whole past lay behind her in the blackness of ab- 
346 


In a Place of Darkness 


solute failure. The words of the old psalm were ring- 
ing through her head — 

Thou hast laid me in the lowest pit; in a place of 
darkness, and in the deep. 

Thine indignation lieth hard upon me; and Thou 
hast vexed me with all Thy storms. 

Thou hast put mine acquaintance far from me; 
and made me to he abhorred by them. 

I am so fast in prison that I cannot get forth. . . . 

My lovers and friends hast Thou put away from 
me; and hid mine acquaintance out of my sight.'’ 

An approaching step in the hall roused her. 

If you please, ma’am, I have knocked at Mademoi- 
selle’s door and got no answer, so I slipped the note 
under the door. Was that right? ” 

Quite right,” said Vera. I hope you are going 
off to bed now. You look tired. Good-night.” 

Meanwhile Harold had found Judith awaiting him 
in the hall. 

Come into the schoolroom,” she said. " I must 
have a few words with you.” 

The sight of her innocent young face brought home 
to him afresh the horror of the situation. It is awful 
to think that you should even know of such things.” 

She shrugged her shoulders. If that were all ! ” 

Did you ever hear of such crass insanity ? ” 

Never. It is terrible to think of the harm she 
will do. Her influence here has been extraordinarily 
good. One of the teachers said to me long ago, ' She 
isn’t going to fail us, is she? One so seldom meets 
people with strong white wings’ ” 

23 347 


The Way of Escape 

Have you told Vera that? 

“I should think I had. On my knees, with the 
tears streaming down my face; and you know I am 
not given to tears.” 

^‘And it didn’t affect her?” 

Oh, yes, it did : it affected her tremendously. She 
was crying too. But she only said, ‘ Don’t you see that 
you only bind me over all the more?”’ 

The fact is she is morbid : she sees things all out 
of proportion. Why can’t she say to Mademoiselle, 
^ We have no right to wreck the school between us: for 
the sake of others, let us agree to be silent ’ ? That’s 
good morality, I take it; and altruism to boot. How- 
ever, there is no use arguing; so I am going to settle 
the matter myself.” 

Are you ? ” 

I shall see Mademoiselle to-morrow, and get her 
out of the country.” 

Judith was silent. 

" Don’t you think I am right ? ” 

Quite right,” she said doubtfully ; but, if you fail, 
you weaken Vera’s position tremendously.” 

Oh, I sha’n’t fail.” 

The fact is,” J udith said drearily, “ I have lost all 
my bearings. I think Vera made lots of mistakes in 
bringing us up; but her teaching on the subject of 
truthfulness was most — uplifting. I shall never forget 
once when — well, when I had lied, how she said to me, 
^ Own up though it kills you. Hold your head high, 
and live royally ! ’ ” 

^^Well, she has brought the principle to a jolly 
reductio ad absurdum” 

Hasn’t she ? And yet, Harold, I can’t admit that 

348 


In a Place of Darkness 


truth is to blame. I’ve never told her so, but it is the 
simple fact that I owe my place in the Tripos to Vera’s 
teaching about truth. It tells all round.” 

Harold did not respond. He was thinking gloomily 
that they were paying a heavy price for Judith’s place 
in the Tripos. 

Ho,” she repeated reflectively, I am sure the 
fault doesn’t lie with truth. It is just that in life there 
is no retracing a false step ! ” 


349 


CHAPTER XLIX 

HATS off! 

A WOOD fire burned cheerily in the deserted old hotel 
at Avignon, and the aroma of coffee was in the air. 

Mr. Raeburn tossed his Matin aside. " Well, sweet- 
heart,” he said heartily, we have had a famous bask- 
ing. Xow for the north and home ! ” 

Mrs. Raeburn did not answer, and he looked at her 
again. “Bless me, is that a letter or the manuscript 
of a three-volume novel ? ” 

She raised her eyes. Her face was pale, and she 
spoke significantly. “ It is the first sheets,” she said, 
“ of the last act.” She held up the letter that he might 
recognise Vera’s handwriting. 

“ Hot really? ” 

“ I am afraid — really.” She dashed away a tear. 
“ One sees now the level on which she has been living, 
if there had been any doubt about it before.” 

She handed him the first sheet, and for a long time 
there was silence in the room. Even when he had laid 
down the letter, he did not speak. His eyes were fixed 
on the dancing fire. 

“ All through the night,” Vera wrote, “ I seem to be 
picturing the exposure from the point of view of every- 
one I know : and I ask myself, ^ Can it be right to 
bring this loss and humiliation on those who have 
trusted me ? ’ You know the answer. If the gladness 
350 


Hats Off! 


— the joy in the Lord — meant anything, it meant just 
this. If I compromise now, I act as though the King- 
dom of God were a chimera. Is it a chimera ? I don't 
know ! 

Mrs. Raeburn was the first to speak. “What she 
must have suffered ! And not a soul within reach who 
understood ! Isn’t it terrible that we should have been 
away ? ” 

“ I was wondering. Suppose she had come to ask 
our advice ? ” 

Mrs. Raeburn hesitated, and finally decided to leave 
the implied question unanswered. “ I can’t believe it 
of Mademoiselle,” she said at last. “ She seemed a 
good and generous girl — and so fond of Vera.” 

“ Perhaps our dear Vera has been a little too un- 
compromising. For that reason I wish we had been at 
home. The question, of course, now is how much this 
woman really knows. Probably not much, and the 
chances are that she will be able to prove even less. 
The bow may have been drawn partly at a venture, 
and, if Miss Carruthers has really taken it as well as 
she seems to have done — her reputation will stand a 
good deal.” 

“ People have forgotten that old story of her refus- 
ing to see anyone.” 

“ H’m,” he said. “ I had forgotten that. How ap- 
pallingly irrevocable the merest trifles in life are! 
Every bit has to be worked into the puzzle in the end.” 

“ It would be all right if she would even draw her- 
self up, and say — ^ I decline to notice such an accusa- 
tion.’ But I gather from her letter that she won’t even 
do that — she won’t even tacitly indicate that the story 
is false.” 


351 


The Way of Escape 

On the other hand/' he went on, continuing his 
own line of thought, if this wretched little adventuress 
really holds some good trump cards, and if Miss Car- 
ruthers is too uncompromising, there will be a terrible 
fracas. I am not an unreserved admirer of Mrs. Bright, 
as you know; but she has worked heroically in the in- 
terests of her school, and this new building is a mag- 
nificent venture. I confess I shouldn't like to see the 
whole thing wrecked at this stage." 

My dear Frank! Think of Vera's influence for 
good all these years. Is that all moral character comes 
to?" 

Perhaps it was natural that, for the moment, the 
man of the world should be uppermost in Mr. Raeburn. 

In a woman," he said doggedly, that is just about 
what it comes to." 

Mrs. Raeburn rose. Well, in any case, I will wire 
to say we shall be home the day after to-morrow." 

‘‘ Wait a moment. Don't let us act in a hurry. . . . 
Suppose you offer yourself as Miss Carruther's guest 
for a few days? Your presence in the school would go 
a long way to reassure people if anything happens, and 
you might even be able to effect something. She is a 
wonderful peacemaker, my wife is ! " 

Naturally there was a digression at this point, and 
it was a minute or two before he continued, “ If the ac- 
cusation is a vague one, it may be sufficient for you 
and me to say that we know all the circumstances." 

Frank ! " Mrs. Raeburn's face shone with loving 
appreciation. She stopped behind his chair, slipped 
her arms round his neck, and laid her cheek caress- 
ingly against his head — You are good ! " 

I am not good at all," he said drily. I think 
352 


Hats Off! 

we were fools to insist on making Miss Carrnthers’ 
acquaintance.” 

Oh, if that’s all ! ” 

And I think she is behaving in a most quixotic 
way. I believe all this could easily have been avoided.” 
But ?” 

He smiled whimsically. “ But, when one actually 
sees the thing done before one’s eyes, I am afraid it is 
a case of — Hats off!’’ 


353 


CHAPTER L 


A REPRIEVE 

Next day was the half-term holiday, and most of the 
teachers and pupils were away. The breakfast-room 
was nearly empty, and the silence was oppressive. 

Well, I suppose we shall have Mrs. Bright home 
almost any day now,” said FrMein, for the sake of 
making a little conversation. She looked at Vera; but 
the usually responsive face was not encouraging. 

Nora Glynne — a charming Irish girl with a sweet 
mutinous mouth — made a grimace. “ At least there 
will be the fun of the flitting and the house-warming ” 
— she looked at Vera, and added sotto voce — to 
sweeten the pill.” 

FrMein glanced at Miss Carruthers, hut the auda- 
cious remark had evidently passed unnoticed. She 
shook her head. You are very far from being perfect 
in the proverhe yet,” she said reprovingly. We can’t 
have mistakes and promptings when half the town is 
there to see.” 

Oh, I shall be all right. You see I don’t get 
nervous like the others.” 

‘‘ Don’t be so cocksure, my child. ^ Pride goeth be- 
fore destruction.’ ” 

But the girl only laughed. I mean to enjoy every 
minute of it — if only Mrs. Bright does not spoil it all 
with her crossness.” Mrs. Bright’s crossness ” repre- 
354 


A Reprieve 

sented at that moment the whole mystery of evil in the 
world to happy Nora Glynne. 

Still Vera made no response. Her absence of mind 
was becoming positively painful. 

Shall I go and look after Mademoiselle?” said 
J udith abruptly. Perhaps she has one of her head- 
aches.” Judith was feeling strangely nervous about the 
approaching interview between Mademoiselle and Har- 
old. She would not have been sorry if something had 
occurred to prevent it. 

Vera roused herself with an effort. No,” she said. 

Let us finish our breakfast in peace. I will look after 
Mademoiselle myself presently.” 

Before the others had finished, she excused herself 
and went upstairs. A sudden fear seized her at the 
dead silence which followed her knock. What if she 
had driven the girl to despair? 

Opening the door, she found a deserted room. Odd 
scraps of paper littered the floor, a trunk stood ready 
packed, and the open drawers were empty. 

Vera’s first act was to destroy Harold’s note, which 
lay on the floor unopened. Then, looking round, she 
found a letter addressed to herself — 

“Dear Miss Carruthers, 

“ I have received to-day a little money from an uncle 
in France, and am returning home at once. I presume 
you will not think it necessary to have me followed 
by the police. 

“ If I had been a clever woman like you, I should 
have stayed and fought it out ; but your calm diplomacy 
takes my breath away, and — guilty or innocent — you 
would certainly have got the better of poor me in the 
355 


The Way of Escape 

end. I say ^ guilty or innocent/ because I will be frank 
and admit that I do not even now know whether I had 
a handle against you or not. 

When I was a mere girl, my mother told me the 
story of a flirtation that took place one winter at 
St. Vincent. She told me how the good landlady be- 
friended an English girl in her sore need; but I was 
young and ignorant in those days, and I did not ask 
the English girPs name. One learns, as life goes on, 
how valuable such scraps of information may prove. 

“ Of course I should never have thought of you in 
connection with that girl, if you had not mentioned 
that you came from St. Vincent. Then I looked upon 
the idea as the wildest fancy; but it fascinated me. I 
was all anxiety to know whether it was true; but I 
liked you very much, and I often pictured myself as 
keeping your secret faithfully in spite of every induce- 
ment to reveal it. I can be faithful like that when 
people are good to me. 

I watched every word you said very carefully with- 
out getting any clue, till the day you spoke to us about 
the theft. You spoke then as if you knew what it was 
to have sinned; and afterwards you admitted that you 
knew what it was to do something that was not in you 
before. I did not ask the question as a trap; but you 
answered as if you were making a confession. 

Those were the only mistakes you made. When 
I showed you my mother’s photograph, I could not read 
your face with any certainty. 

" I am going away ; but your personality fascinates 
me, and I must know more about it. I remember my 
mother had an intimate friend, a naval officer, who 
often gave me chocolates before I was sent to the con- 
356 


A Reprieve 

vent. He used to be a great deal at St. Vincent, and 
I think he will know. My mother used to say that noth- 
ing ever escaped him. 

But you need not be afraid. I do not mean to ex- 
pose you. You impress me very much — all the more if 
the story is true. You have courage and savoir-vivre. 
If I had possessed as much, I should not now be run- 
ning away in disgrace. 

I leave my larger box. You will kindly forward 
it by petite vitesse to an address I will send you. I 
also leave the key; because you ^ stand in Mrs. Bright" s 
place, and she might wish you to ascertain that I am 
not stealing anything more. I don’t think you would 
suspect me on your own account, and it is curious how 
little I object to the idea of your turning over my 
private things. You must be very tolerant in your 
judgment except on the point on which We differed. If 
you had been just a little different — a little more merci- 
ful — I should have been your slave. 

Yes ; you might have trusted me ; but you pre- 
ferred to risk all, and you see your great venture has 
been a success. Pity you were not a man; you might 
have made a great diplomatist. Je vous en fais mes 
compliments ! 

Will our paths ever cross again ? Who knows ? 

Marie Chamotton.” 

All the strength went out of Vera’s limbs, and hot 
tears of relief welled up in her eyes. The school, at 
least, was safe, and Mrs. Bright’s trust was not abused. 

And this was the end of her acquaintance with poor, 
plucky, conscienceless, little Mademoiselle. What an 
extraordinary letter it was — what a mixture of world- 
357 


The Way of Escape 

liness and generosity! All the child wanted was to 
know some good people; she was capable of seeing life 
with generous eyes. “ This was my chance,” Vera said, 
“ and I have thrown it away. She would have been my 
friend, and I have made her my enemy.” 

She realized to the full how little Mademoiselle’s 
protestations of fidelity would be worth when she was 
released from the influence that called them forth. 
Yes; the school was safe; but, for herself there was no 
safety of this kind any more. Poor, kindly, weak, 
faithless, old Madame ! Henceforth the world was a 
hall of a thousand eyes. At any moment, from any 
quarter, the attack might come, and she must be ready 
— not to defend herself, but to be true. 

Well, she had told her brothers and sisters : the bit- 
terness of death was past. For the future she must 
wake up each morning with the thought, To-day it 
may come.” She must stand with her lamp trimmed 
and her light burning, awaiting — her Day of Wrath. 

But in vain do we cry, Lo, here ! and Lo, there ! 
When the Son of Man comes, it is apt to be where 
we looked not for Him. 


358 


CHAPTEE LI 


THE NEXT STEP 

The fine new buildings were finished at last, and the 
opening day had come. The whole school was bright 
with flowers, and festoons of Chinese lanterns in the 
garden held out a brilliant promise for nightfall; but 
the real illumination of the place was the glow of joyous 
young life which throbbed through all the rooms, and 
rushed, panting and breathless, over the sunshiny 
grounds. 

With her unfailing instinct for the successful, Mrs. 
Bright had arranged that the festival should coincide 
with the visit of a great celebrity to the neighbourhood, 
and the school was to be opened in the afternoon by 
someone not far removed from royalty. 

So the demand for invitations was very great; 
many parents came from a distance on purpose to be 
present, and the widespread desire to witness the play 
induced some of the teachers to suggest a move to 
the town-hall. 

But Mrs. Bright would not listen to such a sugges- 
tion. It struck her as simply vulgar. A quiet little 
school-girls’ party ! ” she said. And, besides, had not 
the great lecture-hall been built specially with a view 
to such occasions ? 

Mrs. Bright, looking very prosperous and motherly 
in her rich black silk, was a picture of health and good 
359 


The Way of Escape 

spirits, and she treated with amused tolerance the en- 
thusiasm with which the girls crowded round Vera and 
poured their anticipations into her ear. A teacher off 
duty has a most unfair advantage, and Vera’s only re- 
maining duty was to superintend the play in the 
evening. 

Just come into my room, will you? ” said the head- 
mistress. Such a curious thing has happened. To- 
day of all days I have got a letter from that little 
Mademoiselle of yours, enclosing a draft for twenty 
pounds.” 

Vera turned pale. How very strange ! ” 

So there was good in the girl after all.” 

I always knew that.” 

“ If only one felt sure that she had come by the 
money honestly. You weren’t too hard on her, were 
you?” 

Vera laughed. 

(“ God, who set me to judge thee, meted out 
So much of judging faculty, no more : 

Ask Him if I was slack in use thereof ! ”) 

As the words passed through her mind, her face grew 
very grave. I don’t know,” she said. I tried to be 
loyal to you. I did not make things easy for myself.” 

1 am sure of that; but when a woman is young 
and alone in a strange land, one has to be very care- 
ful.” 

^^Yes.” Had Mrs. Bright quite forgotten the let- 
ters she wrote at the time? 

Perhaps,” said Vera, trying to keep down the note 
of anxiety in her voice, she only wants to return to 
England.” 


360 


The Next Step 

Ah, that may be. Well, I have no objection, and 
I don^t suppose you have.” 

It was a long time before Vera answered. ^^No,” 
she said at last. 

Mrs. Bright laughed. You are absent-minded.” 

But Vera had never in her life given her mind more 
unreservedly to any question. Once more the fact came 
home with force that for her there must be no making 
of plans — no seeing her way. Let other folk do as they 
would, she must walk a step at a time, with every 
faculty on the alert for marching orders. So be it! 
And then, with a great luminous flash, came the thought 
that the next step was all she need think about now, and 
that for that next step strength would not be wanting. 
Such truisms have power at times to make the blood 
leap through our veins ! As a mere light-hearted girl, 
Vera had quoted Carlyle to much the same effect, think- 
ing she understood. 

When the brief ceremony was over, cricket and 
tennis became the order of the afternoon, and the 
grounds were very gay with pretty gowns and the ripple 
of talk and laughter. Among the distinguished visitors 
was Mrs. BrighBs brother. Dr. Willoughby of Edin- 
burgh, and it was pretty to see the frank admiration - 
with which his sister looked at him. She felt as if, 
in some unaccountable way, the good old days had been 
given back to her. 

Vera was tired, and her energies were wanted for 
the evening, so she withdrew to a quiet corner of the 
grounds and looked on. At some distance Dr. Wil- 
loughby was playing with his little Anglo-Indian niece, 
the spoilt baby of the school. 

361 


The Way of Escape 

After a time the child caught sight of Vera, and 
proceeded to tug the great man unceremoniously in her 
direction. For a time he resisted, but little Lulie was 
in one of her most outrageous moods, and in another 
moment a scream might have drawn general attention 
to the episode. 

He lifted his hat. ‘^Is this spoilt scrap to have 
her way,^^ he asked, or shall I carry her oJff bodily? ” 

Vera smiled. I think just for to-day the pupils 
are supposed to do very much what they like.” 

" I am glad.” He sat down and drew a long breath, 
and then they both began to talk to the child at their 
feet. 

" I had a friend,” he said quite suddenly, who 
told me that if you once intruded on a man’s spiritual 
privacy, he was entitled to make you share it for the 
rest of your life. What do you think ? ” 

Vera meditated. ‘^The rest of your life is a long 
time. But I think he has every right to return the 
attack.” 

Then tell me,” he said slowly — how it all came 
about ? ” 

How what came about ? ” 

The change in you.” 

She did not attempt to deny the change. " Oh, by 
a miracle,” she said, smiling. 

He dug his stick into the turf. “ I wish a few 
miracles would come my way.” 

Perhaps you don’t need them as I did.” 

How you scoffed at miracles in the old days ! ” 

Her face was as simple as a child’s. Therefore I 
had to he taught” A moment later she laughed in 
the old mischievous fashion. I exercise a little dis- 
362 


The Next Step 

crimination even now, you know, but perhaps I looked 
for miracles on the wrong plane in those days.” 

It was a curious conversation. To all appearance 
the two were fully engaged in playing with the child; 
but through all the variations the Leitmotif went on. 

I have been watching you all day. You do find life 
worth living ? ” 

Her voice sank very low. In my darkest hour I 
have never thought life was not worth living. I want 
you to take that admission for all it is worth.” 

He sighed enviously. Happy you! — Do you know 
— Vera — there are times when I could envy you that 
‘ raft ^ of yours ? It is something to have made the 
great renunciation once for all.” 

She did not answer immediately. 

Tell me ! ” he said, with a note of boyish appeal 
that touched her. 

‘‘1 suppose it should be easier for me to make it 
than for you — I don’t need to remind you that things 
are apt to be worth while in proportion to their diffi- 
culty. I was thinking that, in whatever way one makes 
the great renunciation — whether with candles and 
flowers and grave-clothes, or just in some quiet moment 
that to all appearance is commonplace enough — the 
little renunciations have still to be made.” 

Even you find that ? ” 

“Even I! But I suppose the point gained is that 
we don’t need to stop and argue about the little renun- 
ciations.” 

You see ” — he had made quite a deep hole in the 
turf by this time, and the spoilt child was fortunately 
finding sufficient employment in the effort to fill it up 
— the trouble with me is that goodness pays” 

24 3G3 


The Way of Escape 

She smiled with ready comprehension. pays 

with me too very often ; but I don’t think that matters. 
What we have got to do is to take hold of the whole 
thing by the other end, and then we need not care 
whether it pays or not.” 

By the other end? ” 

Yes; as you were trying to take hold of it in the 
old days — till I came in and spoilt it. I have often 
wondered just what difference it would have made if 
you had converted me to your way of thinking instead 
of my converting you to mine. Not that the argu- 
ments were mine at all,” she continued, smiling, but 
we did not see at the moment that all the powers of 
nature were at the back of poor little me ! ” 

Don’t, Vera ! ” He winced. 

^^No,” she said. ‘‘I won’t. When all is said, I 
knew that life meant more than that.” 

A moment later Mrs. Bright came in search of her 
little niece. ^^Ah, you have made Miss Carruthers’ 
acquaintance, Giles,” she said. That’s right. I par- 
ticularly wanted you two to meet. Persuade him to 
stay and see your play this evening. Miss Carruthers.” 
And she bustled away, conscious of a hundred claims 
on her attention. 

Vera raised her eyes, smiling sadly. What a life 
is this of ours! Words seemed to fall very far short 
of all she and Giles were thinking just then. 

‘‘1 have a big operation to-morrow morning,” he 
said gravely at last, ^^so I am afraid I shall have to 
leave before the end. Whatever happens, I must catch 
the last train. ... By the way, your brother is to give 
the chloroform for me. I only found out quite recently 
that he is — your brother.” His voice seemed to linger 
364 


The Next Step 

over the last words, and then he added abruptly, I 
like him.” 

am so glad.” Vera’s eyes were full of happy 
trust. He is badly in want of a little guidance at 
present. . . . And now I must go. Goodbye — Giles!” 
Her voice had sunk to an inaudible whisper, but his 
eyes were on her face. 

^^Do come for a turn, Vera,” said Judith almost 
fretfully. ‘^Do you think we could have another re- 
hearsal ? ” 

^^Dear girl — why? Haven’t you had enough of re- 
hearsing? ” 

Things went so badly last night.” 

That’s a good omen. And besides we had all the 
accessories and lights for the first time.” 

It is very odd ; but I feel simply certain that some- 
thing is going wrong. I never felt like this before, and 
you know I am not given to be nervous.” 

Ho, indeed.” 

^^We shall have a tremendous audience. A failure 
would be horrible.” 

Horrible is a big word. Nobody will mind a few 
mistakes. We are not a theatrical training-school.” 

Judith shivered. 

You don’t feel ill, do you, old woman? ” 

No. I shall be all right when this is over; but I 
feel somehow as if it never would be over.” 

Would you like some one else to do the prompt- 
ing?” 

^^No, no. I undertook it. Whatever happens, I 
am not going to shirk my duty.” 

The great lecture-hall of the school lent itself well 
365 


The Way of Escape 

to the occasion. Its raised platform was large enough 
to serve as a stage, and the door leading into the re- 
tiring-room was concealed by the simple side-scenes. 
The walls were still in the rough, but, with the aid of a 
friendly carpenter, the teachers had draped them clever- 
ly with evergreen festoons and cheap effective fabrics. 
Ten minutes before the play began every seat was occu- 
pied. On the stroke of the hour there was no ap- 
parent inch of standing room. A capital little string 
band was to accompany the songs and dances, so the 
servants and their friends filled the hall outside, and 
seated themselves on the stair. Even in the third 
tier of the great theatres Judith had never felt such a 
sensation of crowding. She could hear every beat of 
her own heart. 

But the play went charmingly. It was a bit of pure 
comedy, and the girls threw themselves into it with a 
will. Judith’s office of prompter was almost a sine- 
cure. Peal after peal of genuine laughter rang through 
the hall, and when the curtain rose on the final tableau, 
the row of beaming faces behind the footlights was a 
sight in itself. 

In the buzz of movement and conversation, Vera 
made her way up to Judith. Well,” she said, what 
do you think now ? ” 

Judith drew a long breath. ‘^That’s over,” she 
said ; and I don’t think anything can go wrong with 
the proverhe. The girls were all but word-perfect be- 
fore Mademoiselle left, and Nora is a jewel.” 

There was an interval of a quarter of an hour, dur- 
ing which the stage was adapted, and the “ infants ” 
said Good-night. Of course they begged to be allowed 
to sit up for the proverhe, but Mrs. Bright was obdurate. 
366 


The Next Step 

The day had been one of manifold excitements, and 
their eyes were heavy with sleep. Moreover, when all 
was said, there was consolation in the thought of the 
custards and cake awaiting them upstairs. 

Punctual to the moment the proverb e began — a 
graceful, expressive nothing by a modern French writer. 
Not one in ten of the audience understood French; 
but, as Judith had said, Nora Glynne was a jewel in- 
deed — a bewitching Irish girl with a face like an April 
day, and a voice so full of modulations that one could 
not but understand. Every muscle in her body took 
part in the play: it might almost have been acted in 
dumb show. 

Little by little the audience dropped its polite air of 
make-believe, and rose into real appreciation. The 
little actress had convinced them that they understood 
French after all, and, when she dropped her final curt- 
sey, she received a perfect ovation of applause. 

Accustomed only to a small audience of schoolgirls, 
and of teachers all on their guard not to spoil her un- 
conscious charm by undue praise, the heroine was taken 
by surprise, lost her self-command, curtseyed again, 
and then turned hastily to make her escape. In her 
excitement she had forgotten the flowing draperies 
which replaced the kilt-like skirt to which she was ac- 
customed ; she tripped, recovered herself, tripped again, 
and fell with all her weight against the side-scenes. 

Few amateur stages would have stood such treat- 
ment. There was a friendly laugh in the auditorium at 
the clatter and crash which ensued, a commencing round 
of applause to comfort the little favourite, and then 
an awful pause, for a moment later the floor was a 
sheet of fire, and, with much noise of hissing and crack- 
367 


The Way of Escape 

ling, flames leapt up the trumpery coulisses and caught 
the gaudy trappings at the top. 

The lamp,” cried Judith, the lamp ! ” 

Is Nora safe?” asked Vera anxiously. 

From her place in the opposite wing Judith had seen 
the little actress escape unhurt into the dressing-room. 

Yes,” she said, and, taking Vera’s hand, she sprang 
over the footlights into the hall. 

In the moment that had passed since the accident 
the silence had given place to a scene of panic. Acting 
on a first impulse of terror, people had pushed the 
closely ranged forms backwards and forwards to make 
room. Protestations were followed by screams, and 
the few who seriously tried to control the children only 
seemed to add to the general noise. 

^^What are they doing?’' said Judith impatiently. 
^^Why can’t they bring water — those who have got 
out ? And why can’t they keep calm ? ” Suddenly the 
thought flashed upon her that this might prove — not 
a mere unfortunate episode, but a great catastrophe, 
and the thought made her head swim. 

She had often pictured herself present at a fire; 
had seen herself playing a great part; hut imagina- 
tion had formed no conception of this tumult. She 
felt her own voice powerless against the noise. As 
well might a drop in the ocean try to influence a tem- 
pest. It seemed as though she were being sucked 
against her will into a whirlpool of futile frenzy, for 
there was an awful fascination in the remorseless ad- 
vance of the flames. And the confusion was infectious. 
She too could have run hither and thither, screaming 
for very fear. 

She could hear Mrs. Bright shrieking directions 
368 


The Next Step 

about buckets in the lobby outside, but she herself could 
do nothing. A seething throng of human beings sepa- 
rated her from the door. We shall never get out 
alive, she thought, and her whole heart called out for 
life, life, life ! 

" Courage, old girl! Help me to steady the chil- 
dren.” It was Vera who spoke, quietly laying her hand 
on her sister’s shoulder; but Vera’s face was the most 
terrifying thing of all : it looked as though she might 
walk through the fire unhurt. And every nerve in 
Judith’s body seemed already to feel the sting of the 
flames. 

Is there any hope? ” she gasped, losing her self- 
control. 

Why, lots of hope. If only one could make one- 
self heard!” 

A moment later, through a mist of smoke, they saw 
Mr. Eaeburn mount the great mantel-shelf half-way 
down the hall. His face was pale and tense, but obvi- 
ously reassuring. Quietly, boys,” he said. Quietly ! 
We shall all get out if you act like men.” 

His voice seemed to fill the room. The commotion 
lessened for very shame. Everyone seemed to feel that 
a man had taken the helm. 

Hope sprang up fresh in Judith’s heart. How good 
life was! — how full — how sweet! But the hope was 
only a hope, for the decorations of the hall held out 
welcoming arms to the flames, and the heat at the stage 
end was becoming unendurable. There was no escape 
through the dressing-room. She realized that, in the 
nature of the case, she and Vera must be the last to 
leave the hall. It was awful to think that life hung 
on the control Mr. Eaeburn could maintain over the 
369 


The Way of Escape 

people. He was holding his own — gaining ground per- 
haps. His quiet strength was communicating itself to 
others 

^^We shall escape/’ Judith thought, ‘^we shall es- 
cape.” 

And then, in the twinkling of an eye, came the 
thought of the children upstairs. They were unhurt as 
yet; but would they remain unhurt till the hall was 
cleared? It seemed impossible. . . . Had anyone else 
thought of them? . . . Should she shout, ‘‘ The chil- 
dren ! ” No : that would be to counteract Mr. Kaeburn’s 
work and start the panic afresh. It would be long be- 
fore she could reach the farther door: the nearer door 
was already a sheet of fire. The deserted dressing-room 
was full of infiammable rubbish. It seemed to Judith 
that already she could hear the roar of the fiames up the 
great stairway. 

Should she speak to Vera? At that moment Vera 
suddenly looked at her, and from her to the stage door. 

^‘It’s impossible,” said Judith. ^‘Wait. There is 
plenty of time.” 

As soon as you get out,” said Vera quickly, take 
one or two people round below the dormitory windows.” 

^^Vera ... !” 

But Vera had had her say. Small need to argue 
about this, after all she had come through. The next 
step ” was clear enough now. There might be no neces- 
sity for it, and at best it was only a chance ; but it was 
the one thing in all the world to be done. 

A heavy white cloak, lined with fur, hung over the 
back of a chair. It had been used in the proverbe. 

She threw it over her head, slipped her hands into the 
roomy sleeves, and sprang through the flaming doorway. 

370 


CHAPTER LII 


THE LAST MEETING 

Dk. Willoughby dropped somewhat wearily into 
the corner seat of the railway carriage. 

What a to-do it had been to be sure ! And what a 
capable woman his sister was! It was astonishing 
how time had rounded off her angles. He was glad 
to find himself on such friendly terms with her again — 
glad that he had given up one precious day for old sake’s 
sake. 

And then he fell to thinking of one who was not his 
sister. 

The train was late in starting, and, lifting his 
eyes to look at the station clock, he saw a red glare 
in the sky. 

What’s that?” he asked sharply of a porter who 
stood near. 

The man turned slowly, and it seemed long before 
he said — 

Seems as if it was a fire, sir.” 

I hope not.” There was a ring of anxiety in the 
doctor’s voice. Where do you suppose it is ? ” 

This time the man’s answer was longer still in 
coming. 

Can’t say, I’m sure, sir.” Then, after a pause. 
You don’t think it can be the new school? ” 

The lines on the doctor’s brow were very deep. 

371 


The Way of Escape 

He rose — sat down again — then rose with an air of 
determination. Tell the stationmaster,” he said 
slowly, as he drew a card from his pocket-book, ^^that 
I shall want a special train to Edinburgh as nearly as 
possible at six o’clock to-morrow morning. Do you 
understand?” And, springing from the carriage, he 
ran as he had not run since the old days at St. Vin- 
cent. 

Already there was a stir, a murmur of excitement 
in the silent streets. Others were running, though not 
so swiftly as he. From time to time the glare was 
hidden by buildings close at hand; but it reappeared 
in a moment, and then by degrees came the sickening 
smell of smoke and charring beams, the crackle of wood 
and the ringing clatter of glass, the welcome hiss from 
the tardy engine. 

No fear of taking the wrong turn. Quite a crowd of 
men and boys were keeping pace with him now — some 
laughing as they ran, for excitements were rare in that 
quiet old town — and so he reached the school. 

The scene came back to him next day — the black 
shrubs, the blacker figures in the foreground, the weird 
illumination and wreaths of smoke, the fierce jets of 
steam; but at the time he saw none of these things. 

A fire-escape was placed against the wall, and the 
enthralled crowd was shouting encouragement to a fire- 
man who was forcing his way through a wall of smoke 
and flame. Bravo ! ” they called. Courage, man ! ” 
God help him ! ” ‘‘ Ay, and God is helping him ! ” 
Then the shouts seemd to die away in a quavering sob 
of suspense. 

There was an awful pause, broken only by a few deep 
gasping breaths and a word of hysterical prayer, and 
372 


The Last Meeting 

then a great thrilling cheer went np as the hero re- 
appeared carrying the figure of a woman as lightly as 
if she had been a child. 

At that moment Mrs. Bright caught sight of her 
brother. He would scarcely have recognized the smil- 
ing matron of an hour before. Giles ! ” she said. 
^^’Thank God you have come back ! How did you 
know? ” It seemed incredible that Dr. Willoughby had 
merely walked to the station and back. The children 
are all safe, thank God! but I am afraid Miss Car- 
ruthers is dreadfully hurt.” 

And Giles feared so too, as he looked at the un- 
conscious form in the fireman’s arms. He seemed to 
have known all along that it was Miss Carruthers of 
whom the man was in search. 

But whatever he may have felt, his presence brought 
a great calm upon all the others. No cordon of police 
was needed when Dr. Willoughby was there. 

^^Vera,” Judith was sobbing, as she knelt on the 
grass by her sister’s side. Can you hear me ? I was 
always proud of you — always proud of you, Vera.” 

Dr. Willoughby laid a strong, kind hand on her 
shoulder. Eun to the lodge,” he said quietly, “ and 
get a bed ready with blankets and plenty of hot bot- 
tles or bricks.” He stooped to make a brief examina- 
tion, and then, with almost the practised ease of the 
fireman himself, he raised the limp still figure in his 
arms. And the crowd stood quietly back to let them 
pass. 

His mind was focussed on the present moment, on 
the things that ought to be done, if only as a forlorn 
hope; but somewhere, strangely clear, was a vision of 
turquoise sea, framed by fantastic pines, and, on a 
373 


The Way of Escape 

great horizontal bough, the quaintest figure of a girl 
he had ever beheld 

Judith and Mrs. Eaeburn were busy at the lodge. 
Their eyes looked the question they dared not ask, but 
the doctor did not seem to see. 

Bring the hot bottles,” he said, as quickly as you 
can,” but there was no ring of hope, nor even of ex- 
pectation, in his voice. 

He carried his burden into the tiny room and laid 
her on the bed. Then, for a brief moment, he fastened 
the door and knelt down by her side. 

Vera,” he said — my wife — my wife! ” 


374 


CHAPTEK LIII 


THE VALUES ARE CHANGED 

When Harold arrived the next day, Judith was 
awaiting him at the station. They were both very calm, 
and their hands met without a word of greeting. 

That’s her sister,” some one had whispered, as 
Judith stood alone on the platform, and now several 
strangers quietly lifted their hats as she passed. 

There was a significance in the simple action that 
brought an odd, disconcerting rush of tears to Harold’s 
eyes. It was one of the trifles that, after a great blow, 
bring home to our minds the thing that has happened. 
That very morning he had blushed with shame when 
the thought of Vera rose to his mind: now her name 
had been flashed through the length and breadth of the 
land, and he was a man to be pointed out with pride — 
because he chanced to be her brother. In a different 
sense from that which he had feared, the secret story 
of her life was writ large for all to read. Even if every 
trivial detail became known, the world would be slow to 
find flaws in gold that had passed through the furnace. 
Truly, as Vera had said, one lives to see the things that 
are not bring to nought the things that are. 

The fire-brigade had done its best, and one wing of 
the building had been saved; but, as they drew near, 
the fine new school, that yesterday had worn such gala 
attire, looked but a poor blackened shell. 

375 


The Way of Escape 

Very simply, but with quivering lips, Judith ex- 
plained how it had all happened, and then they went 
up to her room in the untouched wii^. 

The stage doorway was simply a sheet of fire,” she 
said. They say it is a miracle that Vera got through 
it alive ; but she looked as calm as if she were going to 
teach her class on a sunny morning. She had to pass 
through the playroom on her way, and she picked up 
a hammock and half-a-dozen skipping-ropes to let the 
children down with. Hours after I saw one of the fire- 
men take the thing up and examine it. ‘ That’s work- 
manlike! ’ he said.” 

‘‘ And she saved all the little ones ? ” 

‘‘Yes.” There was a queer ring of triumph in 
J udith’s shaky voice. “ Some of them are scorched 
and bruised a bit. A nursemaid who happened to be 
in the dormitory helped her, and then she let the 
nursemaid down, and . . . from below we could see 
her trying to save herself, but . . . she couldn’t.” 
Judith walked over to the window, and for a few 
minutes her whole figure was shaken with sobs. 

“ Harold,” she said at last, “ there is one thing I 
must tell you. ... It was I who thought of the chil- 
dren first ; but, when I looked at the sheet of flames — I 
just couldn’t.” 

His face was very grey. “ I don’t wonder,” he said. 
“Poor old Judy!” 

“ Vera never could have got through if she hadn’t 
thrown a heavy white cloak over her head. And then 
she just made a great spring.” Judith laughed through 
a rain of tears. “ I thought of the strong white wings ! ” 

There was a long silence. “ Will you come and see 
her now ? ” 


376 


The Values Are Changed 

He nodded. Is she much altered? ” he asked ner- 
vously. Her face ” 

‘‘ Oh, Harold, if you had seen her face last night ! 
You’d have felt that after all she has come through in 
the last weeks, she just took this in her stride ... al- 
most without knowing it; . . . you’d have seen” — 
Judith bit her lip fiercely — that she lived in a region 
— to which death has set no hound.” 


377 


CHAPTER LIV 


IN HIM IS NO DARKNESS AT ALL 

Half hidden in the great mound of flowers that 
covered the grave were many beautiful thoughts about 
the finding of life in the losing of it — about the corn 
of wheat that abideth not alone; but Ruth Raeburn 
suggested the words that should sum up in brief the 
inspiration of a life. 

And so on the grey granite cross there is simply a 
name and two dates, and below — 

God is light, and in Him is no darkness at all.^^ 

( 1 ) 


THE END 


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